Dear Love, I Left You Behind Once, so I'm Grateful for Encountering You Again

Paper Heart
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With the door opened a smidge, Luhan let his narrowed eyes wander around the practice room. As they quickly found the target lazily dancing in front of the mirror, Luhan smirked and pushed the door open. The fact that there was no one to witness, and thus, stop him from murdering his roommate was a great start for the operation Kill the jerk to be successful.

 

“You!”

 

Sehun stilled and turned around. His eyebrows were raised in surprise from Luhan’s sudden outburst certainly, and maybe from his deep frown too, or was it the way he was stomping towards him? Either way, Luhan didn’t allow him to speak his thoughts out loud as he jabbed at Sehun’s chest with a finger.

 

“Insulting your hyung is inacceptable, do you know that? You owe me respect!”

 

No expression was shown on the younger’s face as he let himself be pushed back until his back hits the mirror behind him. To Luhan’s great displeasure, Sehun was anything but intimidated as he stared down at him with an amusing smile. Luhan’s uncontrolled ire was slowly boiling up, and it showed through more painful jabs at Sehun’s chest.

 

“Yah! It’s not funny! I expect an apology from–”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“–you this instant! You– what?”

 

Sehun’s smile widened, and if Luhan wasn’t so utterly shocked by his words, he would have gladly beaten up the out of his roommate when the latter put his arms around his waist and pulled him in closer.

 

“I said, I’m sorry.”

 

Luhan was rendered speechless.

 

“You guys are seriously too cute.”

 

As Luhan twirled his head in the direction of the door, Lay’s sweet smile had him realizing the position him and Sehun were in. The fact that the position in question could seem like a couple happily embracing their significant other after a long school day provoked a familiar emotion that turned Luhan’s insides upside down, creeped up his cheeks at an agonizing slow pace and painted them a dark shade of red to display his embarrassment against his will for everyone to see.

 

Sehun laughed, bringing Luhan’s attention back on him. The latter puffed his cheeks in annoyance, but that unfortunately didn’t stop Sehun from giving him a wide, toothy grin.

 

“Lay hyung has a shift in ten minutes. I was about to go with him, want to come?”

 

Luhan shrugged. “Yeah, yeah, why not.”

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

As soon as he took a step outside, Luhan regretted accepting the invitation. The uncomfortable sensation heating up his body had nothing to do with the chilly weather, or the enjoyable conversation he was having with Lay and his contagious laughter, no, it had everything to do with Sehun’s arm thrown around his shoulders, holding him close and closer every time Luhan tried to utter a single word at his new friend.

 

Luhan wouldn’t mind if the actions didn’t appear so possessive, and less if they went unnoticed by Lay who was glancing at them from time to time with a knowing smile. Luhan chose to remain mute, thus a pesant silence followed them for almost half of the way to Paradise, after Luhan had the bad idea to awoke Sehun’s jealousy with an unconsious comment on Lay’s beautiful smile; a compliment apparently said with a bit too much of enthusiasm and wonder.

 

Actually, Luhan didn’t mind it one bit as he enjoyed feeling Sehun near – and though he would not admit it, Sehun’s jealously was always welcomed to cause their relationship to take a few steps ahead through skinship or any other affection. Sincerly, Luhan would accept every attention he could get with no complain. Anyway, they quickly reached the ice cream shop that was glowing with artifial lights and its usual good mood as the afternoon came to an end. Once they reached the counter, they waved at Lay as the latter went to change into his uniform.

 

The shop seemed busier than usual with so many customers. Sehun was looking around in search of Jongdae, Luhan was doing the same but, to his surprise, he found someone else; in the line of customers waiting to order was Chanyeol looking down at his phone, an usettled expression on his face.

 

“Do you need help?”

 

Luhan’s question wasn’t mean to startle his friend, but it did just that.

 

“Wow, hyung, you scared me,” Chanyeol said while clutching at his heart.

 

“Sorry,” Luhan chuckled. “What are you doing, though? Is something wrong?”

 

“No– I mean, yes. I came here to buy ice creams for Kyungsoo so we can eat after our practice, but Baekhyun might be there too and I don’t know what flavor he likes–”

 

“Strawberry,” Sehun answered suddenly, appearing at Luhan's side and resting a hand on the smaller's

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silentescapade
#1
Well, here it is. 7 years! This may be my final comment, but who knows? I might come back again next year, or I might come back in a few years… I don’t want to completely leave this behind forever, but I also don’t know how long we can consistently keep this going. So this may be my last long, deep message, but hopefully I remember to drop by with quick comments in the future. I definitely didn’t expect these messages to turn into this or become a regular thing when I first started commenting here. But it really is so wholesome, and I’m glad to hear it helped you. It helped me stay grounded too.

Happy new year to you too! These past couple of years have been rough, but I hope you’re doing well and staying safe.

I graduated from uni a semester early, so I finished a couple of months ago! Now I have to prepare to be a real adult haha. Since I'm done with uni, I figured it was also a good time to bring these comments to a close, but now that I’m here, it feels very bittersweet.

It really doesn’t feel like 7 years have gone by. Time moves so slowly in the present but it seems to have flown by when I reflect on it. Like I said before, this fic is precious to me because it represents many aspects of my young life and brings back lots of fond memories. I was so invested in Kpop, EXO, shipping, and all of that stuff in those days. I feel old looking back on things like this lol. But I think those were some of the best times of my life.

So, thank you. For Paper Heart. For writing. For creating something I will always cherish. For reading my annual comments and replying every year. For all of the memories.

Thank you for everything. ❤️
silentescapade
#2
6 years!! This one won’t be as deep as last year hehe, just some random thoughts. (I love reading your responses btw - I don’t reply to them because it feels right to leave it as it is, but I promise I read them every year.)

Since last year, I’ve delved back into Kpop a bit, and I decided to simply enjoy the content for what it is. I try to stay away from the toxicity in the community and instead just quietly listen to the music and watch videos/shows for my own comfort. I’m sad that Kpop isn’t what it used to be, and I will always miss the old times, but I’m happy that I’m still able to love Kpop like I used to. Nothing is the same as it was, but this is more than enough for me. This fic reminds me of how things were back then, and I am satisfied with that.

I had a long break from uni, so I’ve been reading a lot more fanfics these days and revisiting some old ones as well. I just reread this fic again after a long time and it’s just as good as it was back then :) I don’t know what it is, I just really like your writing style.

Reading Paper Heart again now, from beginning to end, is kinda weird because I still feel all of the emotions that I probably did when I first read it in its entirety (which was so long ago that I don’t even really remember what I was feeling tbh). But it’s funny because I still experience all of the frustration and happiness and heart-flutters with thoughts like, “Oh my god if Baekhyun interrupts one more time I swear-“ and “Awww Sehun~” and “Wow, Chanyeol is really dumb.” I remembered some of my favorite chapters quite vividly, but I think I forgot enough of the fic for it to feel like I was reading it for the first time again, haha. And 6 years later, I love it all the same.

This was just a bunch of random blurbs, so I’m gonna stop now. 2020 was an awful year, so here’s to hoping that 2021 is better. I hope you are okay and doing well, both mentally and physically, despite everything that is happening with the pandemic. Stay safe.

See you next year (hopefully).
xiaolin98 #3
Chapter 29: I am glad that finally they choose to stay with each other. The happy ending. But, I can't help but wonder about Luhan's parents reaction too
xiaolin98 #4
Chapter 29: Awwww sehun is so so romantic
xiaolin98 #5
Chapter 27: Sehun!! You can't say that to your hyung really !!
xiaolin98 #6
Chapter 26: Noooo.. why Luhan's parent is such a er really
xiaolin98 #7
Chapter 25: They are super diper aborable
xiaolin98 #8
Chapter 25: They are super diper aborable
xiaolin98 #9
Chapter 25: They are super diper aborable
xiaolin98 #10
Chapter 25: They are super diper aborable