(Hyukkie POV)

I woke up after I feel someone my cheek lovely. I know who is he, he is my Howon. He never leaves me and I feel safe in Howon’s embrace, just like what I feel whenever Hae is around me.

Howon, he’s just too perfect for me in everything. But I’m already fall deeply to Hae which is I know I can’t get him. Even I know Hae’s heart is only for me, but he already be Yoona’s fiancé and I can’t be selfish and make him more disaster.

“Hyukjae… Can I ask you something?” Howon asked me. I’m still hugging him tightly, never let him go. How I wish God let me fall again to him but I know it's imposible to me to fall again to him. He deserve better.

“Yes, Howon… What is it?” I said to him.

“Will you confess to Donghae? I know it's not my problem but I just don’t want whatever things happen to us, will happen to you later... Even I love you with all my heart, but it is past for you and I believe that Donghae deserve something from you, at least your confession… I’m afraid you’ll regret if you didn’t make a move, Hyukjae…” He said to me while his hand my hair lovely.

I really understand what Howon trying to say but what can Hae do after he heard my confession? He’s still Yoona’s fiancé and he still going to marry Yoona in three month. I will not making Hae more complicated because he didn’t deserve to. At least, we can still remain as a good friend.

“Not that I don’t want to, but Howon, I can’t make him more complicated because he had enough… I don’t know, I’m also agree with your word, he deserve at least my confession… I know he love me but I really don’t know what to do…” I said to him. I don’t even notices I’m already crying on Howon chest. He just wipes my tears and my back.

“Hyukjae, please don’t cry… I’m sorry for bring this up but I don’t think this is fair enough for Donghae… I know he love you like I do but still you need to confess to him… Don’t worry because I’ll be by your side if you need me…” He said to me. I’m so touched, he really loves me but the only thing he worried is my feelings. He willing to sacrifice his love just for me.

“Thanks Howon, you love me but the only thing you worried is about my feeling. I’m so grateful for having you in my life… Ermm, I’ll tell him if only you’re there beside me… Is it okay with you?” I asked him and he nodded at me. 

"Yes, sure Hyukjae..." 

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I hold Howon hand while walking to doctor office to get the result from my test. I can feel Howon’s trembling hand and he starts sweating. He’s more afraid than me, not that I’m brave or something, but it just something that I'm expected.

“Oh please take a seat, Mr Lee…” Doctor said to us and we take a seat facing him. Howon look at me with his scares face. I can’t blame him since he love me and he afraid anything bad happen to. I smile to him and intertwine our fingers.

“Doctor, you can tell me now. I’m ready.” I asked doctor and he smile to me.

“Ok Mr Lee, you’re diagnosed with a liver cancer and from the angiography, you’re in Localized Resectable. Cancer is found in one place in the liver and can be totally removed in an operation. So after we got the donor, liver transplantation can be done. But so far, we don’t have any donor at this hospital.” Doctor explains to us. I don’t know what to say, Howon already stiff at his spot. Maybe he’s too shock with this news.

“O-okay doctor. I’ll wait for the donor. Am I safe for now?” I asked doctor while tighten the grip on Howon’s hand. I glance at Howon but he just turns his head on the ground.

“Yes, you’re safe Mr Lee. I’ll give you some medicines and guide line for your meal. Just don’t get tired and drink more plain water. Our next appointment is on next week. I think that’s all, Mr Lee.” Doctor said to me with his bright smile. I’m glad to hear that, I look into Howon eyes and I smile to him. He just my hair lovely.

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Today is the day I’ll confess to Hae. Just like Howon said before, Hae deserve at least my confession. Howon followed me today after I asked him too. He willing to do everything for me even brings me to Japan with him. Hurmm, maybe this is cruel for him, for making him involve in our love triangle but I only can depends on him. He is my strength.

I asked Hae to meet us up at park at 6pm. Howon and I arrived here at 5.30pm. To kill the time, Howon bring me to the ice-cream stall and he bought me my favorite flavor, Strawberry Cheese ice-cream. He knows how to make me smile each time we’re together. We find the seat at the park and waiting for Hae.

“Hello guys!” Hae said to us from the back. He hugged me and then he hugged Howon after he noticed Howon presence. I just smile to both of them.

“Hey Donghae. How was your life??” Howon asked Hae while patted his shoulder. They smile to each other.

“I’m fine, Hoya. Hehe, thanks for asking. So, why you guys want to meet me here??” Hae asked us. Seriously, I’m nervous. Just like the first time I’m confessing to Howon. Feel like my heart going to explode soon.

“W-well, I n-need to t-tell you something… B-but I n-need you to r-remain calm… Promise?” I said to Hae and he nodded at me. I saw Howon is about to walk away from us but before he can move his feet, I catch his hand and make him seat next to me.

“You promise me, Howon… Stay here…” I said to Howon. I know I being cruel for making him stay here and listen to my confession to Hae, but I just can confess only with his presence. His presence is my strength. Howon look into my eyes and he nodded slowly.

“Hae-ahh, congratulation for your engagement with Yoona… But Hae, I need to tell you something... I love you with all my heart… I love you not as a friend but as a lover and I really love you… I’m sorry for telling you this late, but Howon brain washes me last night and he’s the one who asked me to confess to you. I don't have a guts before because I feel you’re not deserving any burden, not anymore… But you really deserve at least my confession, so yeah...” I said to him while looking at the ground.

Hae widen his eyes and suddenly he kneeling in front of me while holding my hand. Hae, he’s crying. Howon patted his shoulders. He must be shocks right now.

“You know, how long I’ve been waiting for you to confess to me? You know how I love you and how much I need you? Just ignore about my engagement with Yoona, she’s nothing except in title. But now, I’m so happy, Hyukkie… Thanks for everything… Hoya, thanks for making Hyukkie confess to me…” He said to us. He look at Howon and he smile to him. I miss his smile.

“And I’ve something to tell you… I’ll follow Howon back to Japan next month… I’ll leave there with Howon and his friends…” I said to him softly. He looks shocked at my sudden decision.

“NOOOO!! Are you leaving me after you telling me that you love me?? I won’t let you go!! NO!!” He screams at me. He must think that I'm leaving him for Howon. Hell NOOO!

“Hae… I’m not leaving you, NO! I swear I’ll not leave you… But we both need time… You need time to settle up everything here, about your engagement and I’ve something to settle up there with Howon… I don't know what will you do about your family matter but I hope someday you will come to me without being anyone fiance or husband... My heart belongs to you, and it always be… Trust me, Howon will take care of me there…” I said to Hae while his cheek. I can’t tell him yet about my sickness. Not yet.

“Really?? Promise me?? I'll try to settle everything here, but Hyukkie, will you will contact me from there??” He asked me and I nodded to him. I lean closer to him and give him soft kiss at his lips. No lust, just to show him how much I love him. He turn to facing Howon and he take a deep breath.

“I trust you, Hoya… Take care of Hyukkie...” Hae said to Howon and he hugs him.

“AND I LOVE YOU TWO!!!!” I scream at them and hug them tightly. We just stay at that position for a minute and then we laughing together.

I'm so glad I have these two men by my side. One is my 1^st love who always protect me with all his heart, love me more that he love himself, and who always sacrifice himself for me. Another one is my 1^st best friend who always clingy to me and annoyed me with his fans but in the end, he’s love of my life. I love both of them.

(End of Hyukkie POV)

Author note: This is not the end yet!! Next chapter is the final chapter so wait for it!! :)) And I'm so sorry for my bad English!