I don’t understand why I still like him, he’s no good but I’m drawn to him anyway. I guess I’m a glutton for punishment.
These days  he’s a no good type of boy, the kind your mother warns you about when you start dating but he wasn't always that way. He was once a good boy who could do no wrong. I know he's changed
But I cant help it.. I love him.

We use to be friends, back when boys and girls could be best friends and it wasn’t weird. A simpler time when looks never mattered, when your biggest fear was not getting a math partner for algebra class. Now it’s like everyone around me either got dumber or I just never got the memo. Most likely both.

Guess I shouldn’t complain, no one picks on me. I can usually get through my day without a single person laughing at me. This wouldn’t bother me so much, If I didn’t like him.

That’s my problem, I like him too much and I’m pretty much invisible to him  and everyone else.
I wish I could get the courage to walk up to him and tell him that I never stopped loving him, that I wish we could return to the old days and would like me like he did back when. 

But I know that will never happen, because he would never stay long enough for me to get it all out and I think he still hates me. 

The last time we talk wasn’t exactly pleasant.

It was barely august but the air was so humid it took your breath away. The yellow sun shirt clung to my chest was I waited for Sehun to return from the Ice cream pop store. I couldn’t wait to eat my Vanilla mint crème cup. I waited a whole week to have enough money to buy it and I was finally going to get a chance to eat it with him.

Today was going to be the day. I told him how I felt. ‘

I was jittery and my palms felt  sweaty but that could have been from the humidity but I was nervous none the less. My mind raced with all the things he could say.

If he said no I’d be crush but if he said yes, we could be together, but that was another thing that scared me. I love SeHun but I knew what he was like with all his other girls. I knew one day he would want something I don’t think I could give him or anyone else. But I figured when that day came I’d tell him no and we could be happy forever.

I watch SeHun walk up to me  eating his orange dream sickle and holding my cup of ice cream, it seemed like he was walking slow but I knew it was because I was anxious for him to sit by my side.
When he finally sat next to me he handed me my treat and put his sun glasses on. I chuckled, he thought he looked so cool.

“What’s so funny?” He asked,  pushing his glasses up

“I cant believe you like those silly things”” I smile as I spoke to him

“Don’t be a hater , You know I look good babe” he stuck his tongue out

He called me babe, maybe he likes me too. 

Trying to hide my blushing cheeks , I distracted myself and scoop a bit of ice cream out and  closed my eyes as I let the combination of mint and vanilla dance on my tongue.
When I opened my eyes SeHun was looking at me.

“What” I furrowed my eyebrows

“You got a little something on your mouth” he says and leans in closer

Oh Gosh this was going a little faster than I expected, he’s going to kiss me, he must like me too, I thought as I closed my eyes again.

But instead of feeling his lips on mine, I felt his thumb wipe my lip softly, he was wiping away ice cream. 

“That’s much better” He smiles as he moves away.

I don’t know why I did what I did but I jumped up off the curb I was sitting on and started yelling.

“Why do you always do this to me?” I shouted

“What are you talking about?” He asked while he looked up at me

“Your playing with my emotions, you build me up and crash me every time. I’m starting to think you do this on purpose. You know I like you and you use it” 

I don’t know why I told him my confession in such a manner but I couldn’t stop myself. It was coming out fast.

SeHun stood up and looked me in the eyes

“You think I like you? I don’t I was taking care of you, I know its been hard on you since your brother died  so I thought I would be your brother figure while you grived. don’t be daft “ he says

I felt my hands clench into a fist. I couldn’t believe he said that, how dare he.  With tears in my eyes I slapped SeHun crossed the face.

“I hate you Sehun Oh” I yelled as I began to run away “I hate you”

To this day we haven’t talked once and I don’t blame him for it but I miss him and still love him. 

My name is Sung Mi Kang and I love SeHun Oh with all my heart, If I could get him to notice me again or even just be his friend I’d be beyond happy.

 

 Alot has changed since we last talked, he since ditched the glasses and started working out. Losing hus baby weight and gaining muscle.  He wore the newest trends. I heard his games were poor and was mean. I can't be sure if that's true but it's all hear my former friends talk about.

 The bell had rung signaling that 3rd period was over. Instead of going to get lunch like everyone else I gathered my things and headed to the library.  Since starting high school I spent most my lunch hour there. I'm kind of like a loner these days. 

It's not because I liked to be alone but because everyone around me moved to better, shinier thing like popularity.  while I stayed true to myself. 

I wasted  precious moments thinking about him , I had to walk fast to the library.  All the good window seats on the second floor would be gone.

Probably should of been watching where I was going.  I could of avoided running into Hyeri, the school's unofficial queen. She's your typical beauty and no brains, you can see why people like her much. With her beautiful raven hair, womanly figure & perfect porcelain white skin.
I heard they were dating. 

After regaining my glasses I grab my things before I feel her wrath.  

"Ugh that nerdy girl ran into me!" Hyeri complains.

"Hurry up before she speaks to us" her nameless friends whines. Her voice was so high pitch that I wasn't sure if she was upset or just making a statement. 

Why do people like them again?

"Sorry" I mutter

"Ew!" Hyeri giggles "why is your voice so deep? No wonder boys don't like you." 

She wore a nasty smirk on her usually pretty face. I began to wonder if Sehun seen or knows about this side of the queen.

"I have bigger things  to worry about, like graduating and college" I bluffed

"What a lonely existence" a new voice joined in.

The three of us look to our right to find Sehun looking at us with utter amusment. Our eyes lock before I look away, my face flushing with color as I'm aware of his presence. I wasn't prepared for this. My hair was a mess and my uniform was in need of a wash. Why now.

"Sehun I been looking for you" her voice rising as she threw her arms around his neck.  She kissed his cheek.

But his eyes stayed on me. He looked at as if I was a mystery to him that he needed to solve right that moment.  I couldn't bare to stand there another moment.  His gaze was too much for me.

I had to get away,  rudely excusing myself I run off. 

My eyes blurred and stung with un-shed tears, I don't understand why I started but I couldn't stop crying, no matter how much I wanted to. 

I promised myself I wouldn't cry over Sehun any more but here I was.

I got to the end of the hall way and started drying my tears. I heard foot steps behind me.

"What do you want? " I barked without looking behind me.

"I wanted to see if you were okay?" It was Sehun.

I turned around only to be wrapped in his arms. 

"I'm sorry.  Whatever I did I'm sorry. I miss you" he whispered

"I can't. My heart hurts to much. I love you. I love you so much its hurts" I whimper

"I wish I could take your pain away. " he tells me "Don't shut me out"

"How can I not. I'm not your type. I'm not pretty like Hyeri or sweet like Yoona. I'm just a this invisible nobody."

"No your not. I don't need you to be like anyone else but yourself. I love you just the way you are, it just took me this long to realize that.  I loved you since grade school but when things began to go wrong in your life. I didn't think it was time to see you that way." He says as he lets me go.

Looking in my eyes he continued "I was a fool to let you go Mi"

A smile crept on my face, shifting my glasses slightly. Sehun notices and pulls my glasses off. He leans in and kisses my nose.

We looked at each other with pure warmth,  this what I always wanted. For him to see me.

"What about Hyeri? " I asked

"What about her?" He smiles wickly.

Oh how I missed this wiley man.