01.

Anonymous? Not Quite.
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Title: Anonymous? Not Quite.
Pairing: XiuHan (Xiumin/Luhan)
Rating: PG.
Genre: romance, angst, fluff, comedy, college
Length/Word Count: oneshot/7281w
Note: This took me longer than I expected but anyway, here it is! Hope it doesn't disappoint too much! ^^

 

 

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“The Sun, he loved the Moon so much he died every night to let him breathe.”

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The first time Luhan saw Minseok was when they were enrolled into high school as freshies. The Chinese male didn’t consider his feelings as ‘love at first sight’; Minseok just catches his attention (all the time). There’s nothing that Luhan know about Minseok – except for his face, his miniature-like body size and that’s pretty much all. Luhan doesn’t dig further; he left it at it is because he’s a nerd like that.

Their time in high school passes just like that, going two separate ways. Luhan became a normal student councillor like the good boy he is. He wasn’t the school president not because he isn’t ambitious but because he doesn’t have what it takes to be one (although he still is a good student councillor in handling basic duties). His grades aren’t all that perfect, but at least he’s gotten himself into one of the better classes with fairly reasonable results.

Minseok, on the other hand, doesn’t like studying but he is smart. It doesn’t take him a lot of effort to successfully get through the examinations but he doesn’t have the best grades and ended up being in the bottom few classes. He doesn’t belong to the popular class of people but he’s well-liked by people for his personality. He enjoys breaking the small rules which doesn’t threaten him to be expelled from the school but he finds it thrilling nonetheless.

Nobody would have thought a good student like Luhan would be interested in a (not-so) bad student like Minseok, especially not when the two doesn't even talk to each other. Heck, Luhan was pretty sure Minseok doesn't even know of his existence.

There were many occasions when the nerd actually wants to muster his courage and approach the small guy but he always chickens out at the very last moment. So Luhan resorts to making a fool of himself in an attempt to capture Minseok's attention, for example accidentally bumping into him. But apparently, Minseok's memory is that of a goldfish when it comes to people, Minseok doesn't remember Luhan.

 

 

 

So it's senior year and Luhan decides to do something absolutely crazy and stupid – to send anonymous text messages to his crush, Minseok, because YOLO. In all honesty, Luhan just refuses to face the alternate reality that when they graduate from high school and go on their separate ways, Minseok will forever be unaware of Luhan's existence.

Just like the nerd he is, Luhan uses the lamest method in the century. He went to the library to search for the year book of the previous year, goes to the page of Minseok's class photo and finds out his name. Step two, Luhan goes on Facebook and type out Minseok's name; feeling elated that Minseok really has an account. He goes through his profile and was beyond ecstatic when he saw that Minseok has left his phone number on his bio.

Quickly, he grabbed any piece of paper around him and copied down the string of numbers.

Luhan wanted to play safe. Even though Luhan loves Minseok for quite a long time already, Luhan doesn’t know what kind of person Minseok is. Luhan decided upon using an anonymous identity to approach Minseok because 1) Luhan wasn’t confident of himself and 2) Just in case Minseok turns out to be a jerk, he can flee without embarrassing himself with his identity exposed.

So the next day, Luhan went to a convenience store to buy a pre-paid card number to begin sending his anonymous messages.

Despite hiding under an anonymous identity, Luhan contemplates for the longest time on how his first message should be like because as they say, first impression is really important. What should he say? How should he begin? And Luhan worries if Minseok would go around spreading about these anonymous messages he received because the last thing Luhan needed was getting exposed and having rumours flying in the air.

Alas, Luhan send his very first message.

Luhan: Hi Minseok, this is your secret admirer and I would like to keep my identity a secret. I’m texting you because I want to woo you but I hope you can keep this to yourself.

The Chinese student thought he could almost die from embarrassment when he read the message again after he sent it. I mean who the hell would say such a lame sentence like ‘I want to woo you.’ right? Just when he thought he had cooled down from the panic attack after sending his first message, the storm has never actually calmed down when he received a reply from his biggest crush.

Minseok: O…..kay? You’re from my school?

Luhan: Yes, I am! ^^ I’m not going to give you any more details about me except that we are of the same grade and I’m someone you’ll never expect me to be.

Minseok: Oh okay.

Luhan: I think you’re really handsome! ^^

Luhan thought he could jump off a cliff that day right after he sent that message but he convinced himself that Minseok probably blushes at the other end of the phone and that maybe Minseok likes getting compliments like this and that Minseok possibly thought that his straightforwardness was cute.

Minseok: I don’t know what I should reply to that…

Luhan: I don’t know either! Hehehe, you’re such a cutie! ^^ Do you get things like that very often?

Minseok: You’re making me blush. You mean do I get compliments like this often? No I don’t.

Luhan: It’s adorable that you’re blushing! Don’t lie! How can someone like you not get such compliments? But I mean, do you get admirers texting you often?

Minseok: No, you’re the first.

Luhan: Aww, does that mean I’m special?

And Luhan swore that he has died at least a hundred times that day when Minseok replies with a simple ‘Haha’ and he just wanted to find a hole and hide in there forever when he reread the chat messages and realises how his messages are always much longer than Minseok’s and how he is the only one using emojis. Luhan has never felt any gayer.

 

 

 

Every day, Luhan never fails to greet Minseok with a ‘Good Morning’ text and with each passing day, the cold façade Minseok has been carrying fades away. Luhan’s continuous initiative gestures and enthusiasm has won over Minseok’s trust that Luhan is genuine about his feelings and about him. Gradually, Minseok lets his guard down and became more friendly and warm towards Luhan. Sometimes, Minseok even initiates the first message of the day.

Schooldays became brighter for Luhan because he enjoys sending his crush messages and looking at Minseok’s reaction behind a wall at the same time. As for Minseok, he cannot deny schooldays have become more interesting trying to figure out who this secret admirer is, he finds thrill in this whole anonymous game.

 

 

 

Their friendship was simple, genuine and pure. They can talk about anything and everything under the sky – from their favourite colours to their directions after graduation and even the size of their feet. They never run out of any topics and their time together was never awkward. Luhan continues to tease Minseok about how perfect he is and Minseok learnt to handle the overflowing praises Luhan showers him with. Nobody ever knew about the both of them except the two themselves. Minseok kept to his promise not to reveal this incident to his friends and Luhan was too shy to tell his homies. And even though nobody could share Luhan’s joy with him, Luhan felt that he was the happiest then.

 

 

 

It was near common test period when the both of them, like fate has pulled them closer, shared a lesson every day because they had the same Language teacher. Luhan sent Minseok messages and spent most of the hour admiring Minseok from a corner. The nerd smiles a little when he noticed Minseok subtly turned his phone away from his friends to reply him and Luhan decided then and there that Minseok is a good guy that he is absolutely in love with, just because the man he loves kept to his promise.

 

 

 

From time to time, Luhan only drops more hints about himself because 1) Luhan doesn’t want Minseok to have high hopes about who is hiding behind this anonymity and ends up be disappointed that it turns out to be him but 2) Luhan has been so comfortable hiding under the covers to have the courage to reveal his identity.

 

 

 

Late night calls became a routine after several more weeks. When the both of them decided on finally making phone calls at night instead of sending long chain of messages, Luhan was a mixture of excitement and anxiety. Luhan can’t remember who initiated to start making calls (he wants to think it was Minseok) but he remembers during the first night Luhan was so anxious that he dialled the wrong number and a grumpy old man answered his call – Luhan was almost scared out of his wits that he hung up the call without even apologising.

The wrong call turned out to be a blessed mistake because the moment Minseok answers the call on Luhan’s second try; Luhan forgets his fear and blabbered about the hilarious incident that just occurred minutes ago which solves the potential problem of initial awkwardness. Giggles and soft murmurings filled the night and Luhan doesn’t remember what they have been talking about for the past two hours, Luhan just knows Minseok has given him so much happiness in these three months than he ever felt in his 16 years of living.

“I’m sorry if this gets awkward. I don’t really know how to speak and this is like my first time having a call like this.” Minseok admits and Luhan almost chuckled out loud but he managed to keep it in.

“That’s okay, this makes you even cuter.” Luhan teased. The other end of the phone was silent and Luhan guessed he was blushing and feeling embarrassed. "You're really, really cute." Luhan goes further.

"Oh god, stop." Minseok finally whines. "I'm used to your relentless praises attack but when you're saying it right into my ears, oh lord I need Jesus." He finally let out a laugh. "You're one amazing guy."

 

The tens of calls they had never left them with a time where they do not have a topic to talk about. Somehow, they managed to keep their conversation going effortlessly. Luhan blatantly shows his harmless jealousy towards his crush's best friend, Jongdae, which Minseok thought was a good weapon to use against his admirer when Luhan with compliments.

 

"You know, there's this one time when I saw Jongdae ." Minseok laughed as he heard an immediate gasp in his ear.

"What? What in the world! Why did you do that?! Oh my God, this is unbelievable! You saw him ? This doesn't make sense-" Luhan rambled on.

"Hey, calm down man. We were done swimming but all the cubicles are taken and we were rushing off so we had to share one."

"What? So he saw you as well!" Luhan doesn't know if he was laughing or crying, but he knows he is out of breath from the intake of the new information. "Sing me a song to calm me down."

And so, Minseok sings. Minseok sings beautifully and Luhan thinks he had fallen deeper to the point of no return.

 

 

 

Luhan's homeroom is in the opposite block of Minseok's so Luhan was able to see his crush from his seat. It was both a blessing and a curse. Every hour or so, Luhan excuse himself to go to the toilet and chooses the longest route to go to the next block so that he could walk pass Minseok's homeroom to catch a glimpse of the apple of his eyes. The crazy little thing he does for Minseok... I guess love really turns one into a fool?

 

 

 

"Anyway, I was so upset with Mrs. Kim today." Says Luhan and Minseok's 'hmm' indicated for him to go on. "Remember last week we had this preliminary Oral examination? The examiner praised me like I did really well but today morning Mrs. Kim came to me and said with annoyance 'Luhan, what happened to you yesterday? You are one of my better students." Luhan sighed and it took him a few seconds before he came to realisation.

"Oh !" Luhan cursed and instinctively, he ended off the call abruptly and turned off his phone. "Luhan! What have you done, oh God." He gasped. "He probably heard it. He probably heard you say your own name!" Luhan was flustered; he couldn't think straight, he wasn't in the right mind anymore so he decided to go to bed.

The next morning, Luhan contemplated for a whole 10 minutes before he finally switched on his phone, delighted to see 3 messages from Minseok and a message from the service provider telling him he had 2 missed calls from Minseok.

Minseok: Hey what happened?

Minseok: Hello? Why did you hang up?

Minseok: Is everything okay? Don’t scare me

Luhan smiles to himself, he cares, the silly boy thought. He replied Minseok after another 5 minutes and Luhan didn’t even greet him Good Morning, because he only had one thing in his head that he was worrying about.

Luhan: Did you hear me saying my name yesterday?

Minseok: You did? I didn't, the reception here was really bad last night.

Luhan sighs in relief. Perhaps, he is really not confident and ready enough to reveal himself. In any case, Luhan enjoys the comfort of his hidden identity. Even though Luhan knows Minseok isn’t a jerk, but the problem that remains is his insecurity and low self-esteem which was a huge barrier to cross over.

 

 

 

When their Chinese Oral presentation drew near, Luhan conscientiously prepared a file of smart notes with useful tips for Minseok because the latter is really bad with that language. Sometimes, Luhan finds it really baffling as to why Minseok chooses Chinese as one of his subjects when he is really bad at it but the Chinese boy doesn't ask why because Minseok doesn't really like questions. 

Luhan thought which was the best way to hand the notes over to Minseok and he finally decided maybe it was time to reveal who he is and Luhan prays Minseok isn't disappointed with the answer which the Korean has been looking for all these months. Luhan had placed the file of notes behind the Mathematics board and between the pages of paper, he hid a card with his photo on it which reveals his identity. Minseok promised to go retrieve it the first thing he reached school that morning and not to open the folder until he reaches home. Luhan observes him from the next building and felt his heart melted once more when Minseok took the file and immediately kept it in his bag. Minseok once again affirmed his position in Luhan's heart.

That night, they called again and even though it wasn't their first time but Luhan feel nervous because it's the first call after his identity was revealed. Like that first night, Luhan dialled the same wrong number but it doesn't calm him down because he was fully aware. Luhan has his doubts. He doesn't know if Minseok feels disappointed, doesn't know if Minseok wished it was someone else, and doesn’t know if Minseok judged him by his appearance. In all honesty, Luhan was just afraid revealing his identity meant a full stop to this entirety.

"Hey, guess what? I called that same old man again just now." Luhan forced a chuckle and Minseok laughs.

"Why do you sound so awkward?" Luhan almost wanted to cry at Minseok's honesty that came to him like needles.

"Did you guess it was me when you see my photo?" He finally asked and Minseok laughs again. ”Were you… Were you disappointed that it turns out to be me?”

"I guessed it was you since a long time ago." Luhan thought he could hear Minseok's smile when he said that.

"How?"

"Remember that one morning when we were all walking to the school gate? I saw you in front so I quickly messaged you anything and then sped up to walk past you. Even though I couldn't see what's on your phone, I heard you gasped." He said, for some reason Luhan thought Minseok’s voice was unusually more charismatic that night. "And also, that night. I actually heard you well."

"I knew it!" Luhan almost hollered. "Oh my God, how could I believe your lame excuse?! Why did you lie then?" Luhan laughed at this unbelievable situation.

"Because you weren’t ready to face me with no covers on."

Luhan fell in love again that night and he had lost count on the number of times Minseok made his heart flutter like this. Sure, he knew Minseok is the kind of good guy who keeps to his promise but the considerate side of him was a regret Luhan thinks he didn't discover earlier.

 

 

 

The revelation of Luhan's identity didn't take a turn on their progress; instead, it fuelled their steps. It wasn't obvious but Luhan knows Minseok has been more considerate and sweet to him through his subtle ways. When Luhan was upset, Minseok gives in and sings for him. When Minseok was frustrated with his dad who doesn't seem to care about his family, Luhan listens in quietly. Luhan doesn't know how to comfort him but Luhan listens to Minseok well and that's probably all he

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Comments

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jini_14
#1
Chapter 2: Since i fell in love with this story i decided to subscribe on your latest story
queenyjiajia #2
Chapter 1: :"))) jongin just had to-ugh hahaha nice story btw and xiuhan is the cutest ever !!!! (After kaisoo, ofc ;))
xezrei
#3
Chapter 1: what would have happened if they got together, sigh.. the possibilities.. but things went to a huge turn. sad.
still, thank you for this(my kokoro hurts
proudtobeab2uty
#4
Chapter 1: I relate to this on a spiritual level. It's so similar to my story.
blue1088 #5
Chapter 2: I don't really like angst actually, but live is not always beautiful. I like your story. I have a quite similar experience. Although the Luhan in this story still not getting Minseok, it still better than having a 'what if..' hanging in your head. Thank you for writing this^^/
XiuHan1010 #6
Chapter 1: *crying*
I hope you'r happy now .. your story somehow is so familiar with mine .. the diffrance is I still can't forget him or let him out of my mind .. you give me the hope that maybe someday I gonna move on and look for someone else ..
Ta for sharing your stoy
Hope you the best in your life ;)
326x420
#7
I'm actually hoping for a sequel. Hahaha! ily and this! /throws my intestines to you/ here have these
326x420
#8
Chapter 1: Just wow. I'm literally gaping right now. Because
1) I'm literally have a huge weakness to every XH fluff i encounter
2) I love the flow of the story, i'm not lost unlike those i've read that confuses me
3) I'm heartbroken for luhan (but i ship xk tbh)
bynosya #9
Chapter 1: TTT. TTT this is so addicting.. you are really great.. the feelssss.. thumbs up!!