Chapter 54:

Jihye’s P.O.V

Two years had passed and I still can't let go of my feelings for the person my heart longs for. I should have at least moved forward a bit but damn, my heart is clinging to a person that it is too much worth for me.

Bordeaux, France becomes the refuge of my broken heart and it gives me the peace that I wanted for. It becomes the place where I can walk and talk to people like I'm just a normal person and not hated in my everyday life. The life in the small village that I stayed for two years gives me serenity and the people in here are like close family friends of mine. They are all friendly and treat me like I am one of their own.

“Jihye!” Claire shouts energetically to me while waving her hands giddily.

“Good morning, Claire,” I greet with a warm smile. “What are you doing here so early in the morning?” I offer her coffee and a seat to sit on. “You’re not an early riser like me,” I muse with a wry smirk.

Claire pouts and tears in her eyes. “You are going home already,” she utters sadly. “I am going to miss you and everyone here, Aunt Zoe, Uncle Ben, Yana, Lani, Mario, Uncle Greg, Aunt Sallie, and many more.”

I giggle. Yes, I can be a bit cheerful now. “I thought you will name every person in this village. We will take a whole lot of time for that. But back to your gloomy topic, my flight is still tomorrow and you are going here morning by morning for days telling me the same litany,” I point out teasingly but smiling at her. “How about you accompany me in the vineyard, the guys are picking grapes today and I want to eat the freshest grapes in the morning.”

“Grapes!” Claire shrieks in joy. This girl likes grapes so much that every time I go picking grapes, she comes with me and munches as much as her stomach can. It’s a bit disbelieving to see how many ample of grapes can she eat when I go with her but I am much more used to it by now.

I shake my head at her absurdness. “Come on,” I state, “they already started picking. So, we better get there fast or you will not get even a bundle of grapes.”

“No!!! My grapes!!!” Claire says in exaggeration of her sadness. She runs leaving me alone.

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I sigh as I look at my surroundings. “Well, it’s a good thing I have arrived in midnight,” I utter while dragging my trolley. The airport is free of arriving people and there’s less hassle. I stop when I spot the person waiting for me.

“Hey!” I wave my hand and call her attention. It has been a while since I saw her.

“Jihye,” Kiko waves her hand back and smiles widely. “You, idiot,” she shrieks, “why come so late? My skin needs to be perfect tomorrow.” She puts her hand on her hips and gives me a raise of a brow.

“Yeah, it’s nice seeing you again and the flight is smooth as always and I had a good rest,” I remark sarcastically to her. “Oh, thanks for picking me up.” I smile as I walk away and Kiko follows me as she says her speech of fake reluctance. “Oh just shut up Kiko.” I rolled my eyes.

Kiko chuckles then laughs. “Geez, I even visited you in Bordeaux six months ago and now, you are treating me like this,” she says hurt.

I laugh while looking at her incredulously. “I didn’t force you to visit me and I didn’t force you to pick me up. You volunteered because the girls are busy in Korea.”

Speaking of the girls, Dahee and Top’s relationship is still strong and they are still in love like stupid fools while Eunjae and Youngbae part ways a year ago because of Eunjae’s uncertain heart and Youngbae’s busy schedule, the two are friends. Chaewon finds her true love, a fan boy of Bigbang, she met him in a concert of Bigbang. It’s what Chaewon calls love at first sight. Sumi, on the other hand, is busy in her studies since she’s already training in the hospitals and she matured a bit.

“I’ll drop you off in your hotel and I’ll see you tomorrow,” Kiko speaks and smiles warmly at me. She hugs me then sighs. “It’s nice to see you smiling more.”

I hug her back with my free hand. “Smiling is something I do not lack. I will smile as much as I want,” I jest with a wide smile. “Come on,” I drag her in my speed, “before some photographers get a picture of me and you,” I state.

“I thought you like spotlight,” Kiko teases.

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I can do this. I chime inside my head as I walk towards the venue of the show. The flashes of cameras are blinding me since it’s been ages, again, when I went out to the spotlight. I have lived a secluded life. I smile and wave my hand as I walk towards the entrance.

“Ms. Song,” the attendant shrieks in surprise.

I am taken aback but still smile. “I’m sorry for the sudden appearance but do I still have a seat?” I inquire.

“You’re supposed to be in the center but…”

I shake my hands and speak, “It’s alright to sit at the side seats. I don’t want to cause a commotion.”

“NO!”

I turn my head in surprise. “Monsieur, you shouldn’t be going out of the backstage,” I mutter.

“Prepare a seat in one of the tables. You will seat at the center just like any Chanel babies I have,” he orders with a snap of his fingers.

“Monsieur Lagerfeld, you don’t have to do this. I can see the runway just fine in the side seats,” I imply. I really don’t like attention that much tonight.

“No, no, no, you will have a seat on the poker table. I don’t want to be the talk of the town Jihye. Not one of my Chanel babies will be left out.”

I sigh with reluctance. “What can I do? Go back and I’ll find my way at the tables.” I raise my hand. “I promise. So, go.”

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“EH!” I say in astonishment. “Are you really going to let me sit there?” Of all the seats available, why do I have to be seated there? This is so absurd.

“I’m so sorry, Ms. Song but that’s the only table that we can put an extra seat on,” the attendant says apologetically.

“No, it’s fine. I am in awe to be seated there, actually. Shall we?” I tell the attendant. There’s nothing I can do but bear with it.

Every step that I take, my chest tightens and heart beats fast. I know that I will see that person but not at this close point of view. I have to endure this and then leave as soon as the show ends.

“The prodigal daughter is back,” the people in the table say.

I smile at them and take my seat. “Are you all waiting for me?” I tease and I know that his eyes are on me.

“You really are a tease like always, Jihye,” they say.

“I know,” I reply and look at my side and smile at Jiyong. “Hey, it has been a while,” I remark.

“Ah,” he stutters, “yeah, it’s been a while.”

I turn away since the show is starting. Thank God for the great timing. That is super awkward. My palms are sweating and heart rate is rising. I am worried about my make-up. If I look ludicrous after this show then I will be at the headlines for looking like a zombie in a Chanel runway show.

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I clap my hands when the show ends. That is a good show and a bit unnerving since my seatmate kept staring at me. “That is a good show, Monsieur Karl!” I shout while giving him thumbs up.

Karl Lagerfeld smile and nods his head in acknowledgement.

I look around and searches for my way out. I need to go out before Karl can shackle me to his side. I smirk when I see one opening. I tread carefully and mix in the crowd that is hurrying out to go to the next show. When chance is on your side, grab it.

I heave a breath of relief when I am inside the car and away from the prying eyes as Jihye Song comes back to grace the fashion week. It is going to be hard to go to the next one with me showing up early as sunrise.

“Where to, Jihye?”

“Back in the hotel, Uncle Jordan,” I answer the question of my driver.

“You should have brought bodyguards like your mother had suggested,” Uncle Jordan utters concerned.

I smile then shake my head. “It’s alright. No harm was done to me and I am unscathed in the whole ordeal of reporters coming after me.”

“You hate bodyguards still,” he points out.

“Yeah, I feel like suffocating whenever they cluster around me,” I respond, looking outside and seeing nothing but traffic and people walking towards the next show. Fashion week is always calling for headache, aching feet, and traffic.

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“So, you are just staying here?”

I put down the glass of wine that I am drinking as Jiyong makes his entrance. “Yeah, I do not change the hotel I stay in Paris.” I obviously have to stay in one of ours or else, mama will say that I hate our own company. “Do you want something?”

“Yes, actually,” Jiyong answers.

I offer him a seat and call for a waiter to get him an extra glass. “What is it? You even seek me for it. Is it important?” I am not absolutely calm but I can’t show him that his presence is shaking me.

“It’s important to me. I don’t know if it’s important to you.”

I look at him confused. “Me? Am I the subject of this question?”

“Why did you leave me two years ago? I just want to have a clear grasp why you left me.”

I can see that he is serious about this. “Ah, that topic,” I remark in understanding. “I think that even if I answer that question, you will still not understand why I did it.”

“Try me,” he responds. “I didn’t give up on you while you did. So, I think I can understand it well, even if it is complicated. Just like how I understand why you did what you did when your fiancé died. The Anna Song that had gone berserk is not the Jihye Song, I loved. I understood the reason why you drink, get laid and be with many boys as you can. It is because you never left a piece of love to yourself and you cope up with it by doing those things.”

It didn’t escape my ear when he said loved. “Anna and Jihye are two different entities. I thank you for understanding me to the times when I’m down. I really am grateful.” The thing that I hate for him to know is the reason why we are not together. It is such a shame that the whole tension of the subject towards me is not that much of a problem.

“I don’t want to get sidetrack. I want answers.”

I drink my wine dry and pour another one. “If I say the answer I hope it won’t complicate things between us. I want us to be friends.”

“Friends,” Jiyong utters in surprise.

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(A/N: I am sorry being in hiatus and MIA for a whole long while. But I promise not to be MIA again.)

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-authornim