Chapter 53:

Jihye’s P.O.V

“Jihye, what are you talking about?” Jiyong says to me.

“Let’s break up,” I repeat as firm as possible. I don’t want to say it but I have to. “Jiyong, with your sudden outburst in your concert, it only means one thing to me and that is I’m a bad influence to you. This relationship is not as healthy as we thought it is.” I’m on the verge of crying as I see the devastated face of Jiyong. I have to do this even though it’s hurting me like a knife. I have to let go of him.

“No, we can fix things. The fans will never bother you anymore. We will have guards wherever we go. I don’t want to be a normal couple. We can have our dates more privately and secretly. Just please, don’t leave me.” Jiyong pleads and holds my hand.

I close my eyes and breathe out. “I’m not budging on this, Jiyong. Did you see what happened to Haeri? She lost it because of me and I don’t want another one to be that kind of fan. Do you want another person to get hurt just to be together? That’s so wrong.” My voice is getting thick at the unshed tears and pain.

“Jihye, please…”

Tears fall from my eyes. I can’t really refrain myself from shedding tears, just by seeing him pleading like his life is at stake, my resolve for not crying and showing emotion is thrown out of the window.

“Don’t you love me anymore? Are you really throwing our love for each other because of Haeri? It is not your fault.”

I do love you but I can’t say it anymore or you’ll just cling to me and never let go of me, I thought. “At least, you won’t break your promise. I’m the one letting go. Goodbye, Ji.” I walk towards him and kiss him on the lips one last time. Our lips are both trembling because of our tears. I smile one last time before leaving him.

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“Are you alright, Jihye?”

I shake my head as tears flow like a river. It doesn’t stop flowing. I am grateful that I got to my room safely. “He is in pain and the reason is me,” I utter shakily. “It hurts more than the pain in my wound.”

“Jihye, you have to stop crying already or your wound will open again,” the doctor says concerned.

“I’ll get surgery again if crying can ease the pain a little. Eunjae, I hurt him. I hurt the person I love. Can you move me back home and be treated there? I need to go to a place where he can’t do anything and get a sight from the paparazzi. Can you?” I know my voice is not stable. I can’t stop crying and Eunjae is only helping me on staying standing up.

“You can. I’ll just get a doctor that will watch over you at home and a nurse.”

“Thanks, Aunt Chie,” I thank her, my doctor.

“Seeing you like this will only hurt me. You are also a precious child of mine, just like my daughter Sumi. That’s why as much as I want you to stop crying. You’re not yet healed, of course, and you’re not even allowed to walk alone or even move but I agree to this because you asked for it. So, now, that I have given your request, you have to fulfill mine, please, rest.”

I nod my head. “Thank you for agreeing to my foolish request, Aunt Chie.”

“It’s nothing. Anyway, I’ll need your mother to fill up your discharge, so, that you can go home and rest, please, rest.”

I smile sadly and nod my head.

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“I called Top and he said that Jiyong is back to the hotel, lifeless just like the time you are stabbed,” Dahee informs me.

I’m still crying but it’s only from time to time or whenever I think about how I hurt Jiyong, the tears will flow.

“Are you sure it is the right decision?” Eunjae inquires. “If you are both hurting like this, I think you made the wrong one.”

“It’s the right one,” I answer weakly. “He will easily move on and forget about me.” He has to forget about me. “Chaewon, can you put this in my vault on the bank?” I remove the rings that I’m wearing. The first ring is what Jiyong bought on the street stand and the second one is the ring I give him on his birthday. I give it to Chaewon without looking at them reminiscing how blissful our relationship was when we are carefree with no one knowing or speculating what we are.

“Jihye,” they whine at my decision, yet again.

“Please, they will just make me remember about our happy times together,” I say to them.

“Arasso,” Chaewon replies.

“Girls, leave Jihye alone for a while. She needs to take her rest now,” the nurse says to the girls politely.

It’s a good thing we stayed at the other home we have in Japan. There are no memories of Jiyong in here. I can rest without seeing an after image of him.

Kiko even called me earlier and is shrieking at annoyance because of my decision. She grumbles about her wasted resignation of Jiyong’s love. She scolds me too about being a coward for not fighting about who I love. But she even tells me that she will visit me when she comes back from Paris. Such a friend to have, I can’t understand her thinking.

“I’m just going to give you a bit of sedative to make you sleep, Jihye. You need to have a peaceful rest, okay.” The nurse smiles at me warmly while she is inserting the needle of the syringe on my dextrose. “Sleep well.”

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Jiyong’s P.O.V

“Hyung, let me meet her once more,” I plead to YG-hyung. He’s not letting me go out and see Jihye. “Just one last time,” I say.

“Jiyong, I can’t let you go and the girls told me what happened. Jihye will not change her mind about this. I tried to persuade her to change it but she’s adamant on it,” YG-hyung tells sadly.

“Maybe, I can do something about it. Please, let me go,” I beg. If I need to beg just to see Jihye and make her change her mind about us, I’ll do it even if my knees bruise from kneeling. I just need to see her. She must be shock from the incident to make this kind of decision.

“Even if I let you go, you will not see Jihye. They are not in the house you, all, know. Jihye didn’t tell me where they are staying, not even the girls,” YG-hyung says dejectedly. “I’m sorry. I’ve tried begging for them too, but it didn’t help.”

“Jiyong, let’s go. I’ll try to talk to Dahee and Youngbae will talk to Eunjae and will beg if that will help you see Jihye one last time,” Top-hyung utters concerned.

My friends are with me in this rough time of my life. They aren’t bothered that I’m crying like a woman. I am trying to still think why she decided to leave me but there’s nothing that comes up to my mind. Didn’t she really love me? Is she fed up with me? Did our fans really bother her that much to make her leave me? There’s no answer to them. I don’t know what to think.

“Let me talk to them,” I tell him.

Top-hyung bows down and shakes his head. “I’m sorry about that, Ji, but the girls don’t want to meet you or they don’t want to see you hurting, they say.”

“Hyung,” I whine and fall down on my knees. “Why are they doing this to me? Am I really that unloved by them?”

“It’s the opposite, Ji. They care for you so much that they can’t bear to see you like this.”

“If they care for me, they should have begged Jihye to think things through,” I shriek.

“Jiyong,” Top-hyung shouts at me, “do you think they didn’t beg for their friend? For your information, they did. If only you saw how my girlfriend is devastated by Jihye’s decision. She is crying like you.” He walks out on me.

I hear YG-hyung sighs. “Don’t blame the girls. They did what they could do.”

“I’m sorry,” I utter glumly.

“It’s not me you should say that too. Find him and say sorry for being a jerk.”

I nod my head and goes out of the office. What’s happening to me? I need to calm down.

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I type the same text for the hundredth time but Jihye still won’t reply to my text. I just need one reply to know that this is really happening to me. Please, just one reply and I will be satisfied.

“Hyung, I’ll go to the office. Do you want something to eat? You still didn’t have anything since earlier,” Seungri queries, worried about me.

“I’ll be fine, maknae. I just need some alone time that’s why we are postponing some of our concert in Japan for a while,” I reply gloomy. I don’t plan on giving up and yet, why my heart does feels like I am a lost cause already.

“Just keep fighting, hyung,” Seungri cheers me on.

I smile and nod my head even if I am not sure if I’m really fighting a war that won’t let me win. Jihye are you really giving up one me?

“I’ll go now,” Seungri says and closes the door.

“And still, I didn’t hear you spout the three words or eight letters.” I sigh and lie down on the couch. “If you only say those words, I can hang on to something when I am in the low. Jihye, you should have said it,” I shout as the tears starts to flow again without any warning.

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Jihye’s P.O.V

“Are you really not going to meet the boys? It’s not even Jiyong, you are meeting. These are the guys that loves you and wants to know the reason about all of this,” Eunjae shrieks angrily at me.

I look at her, straight into her eyes, trying to be as strong as I can be. I muster all of my courage and open my mouth not to defend myself but to defend something else. “If you don’t see it in my point of view, I understand but you don’t have to shout like I am condemned of a murder. The one I’m saving here is not I but Jiyong’s and the boys. I care about the guy more than I cared for Grey and I’m saving him from all the hassle that this love affair had given him. I cared about the guys too because they cared for me too much.” I try hard not to cry but the tears won’t stop.

“Haeri may not be the last person that will hurt me and pin it on the fans hatred of me. That will cause a rift to Jiyong and his fans even the boys will feel the same if it happens twice. I don’t want that happening. So, I cut the reason of the fans hatred and that’s me.” I don’t know if they understood a thing because my voice became too thick with my crying.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know,” Eunjae expresses her regret at the words she shouts at me.

“It’s alright. I don’t plan to tell anyone about it but I guess I have too. I want to meet them but I don’t want my resolve to crumble like sand and gone with the wind.”

“But, you’re still leaving to France,” Dahee and Sumi shriek loudly and thump their feet, protesting still about it.

“I have too or else, I will go crazy staying in one country with him. Japan or Korea is still the same. The only choice I have is France or Italy and I chose France because I’m much more familiar in that country. I’m sorry for leaving you but I’ll go back when I’m back in shape.”

“You could have chosen Paris but why choose Bordeaux,” Chaewon questions.

I just smile and don’t answer. Paris is like a memory lane for her and there’s a possibility that I might meet him by chance. Bordeaux will give me some air while I try to collect myself again.

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-authornim