It was hard to imagine what life was like before Luhan.

The truth is that I settled so quickly into having Luhan by my side that it felt so natural so quickly. It was routine to have his presence lingering in the back of my head, to have his scent constantly pulling me into his direction as though he was my only point of axis. It felt like falling with the knowledge that at the end of this deep abyss were a pair of arms that would certainly catch me at the end. It was definitely something I had never felt before, but somehow there seemed to be a shift in my thinking, as if the bond had broken the remaining barriers between us. Now, having Luhan was as natural as breathing. I could not imagine living without him, as horrible as that sounded. 

I now understood what the big deal was about. Because it was a big deal.

'You look like you're constantly floating on fairy dust,' Melody remarked when she came over during our small get-together that Friday evening. The wolves had ran out to get some pizza and as we picked out slices from different flavoured boxes, my lips couldn't help but quirk up the slightest at the astounding amount of food on the table. 

I shot Melody a look, 'you're one to talk.' I shot back smugly, 'you're slowly accepting him, aren't you?' 
Her face remained composed and if it wasn't for the tiny flush in her cheeks, nobody would've noticed the difference. 'I don't know.' She mumbled.

I frowned, 'is something wrong?' 
'Nothing's wrong,' she picked out a hawaiian slice before placing it on her plate, 'the more I get to know him, the more I'm scared of hurting him.' 
'That's everyone, though.' I said, shrugging, 'I know your situation is slightly more complex. But would it make you happier to live alone for the rest of your life? Wouldn't that hurt anyway? Either way has it's own problems.' 

She stayed quiet. We moved away from the kitchen, towards the living room where the group was chatting quietly amongst themselves. 

'For what it's worth, I think you're really brave.' I continued, watching her eyes flicker with uncertainty at my statement, 'for doing this despite what happened to your family.' 

Chanyeol interrupted our discussion when he ushered us to the group. I sent her an ecouraging nod as we dispersed, my body automatically rivetting back to Luhan's presence at one corner of the couch, where he'd already prepared my seat. 

As I plopped down beside him, his arm automatically wound itself around my waist before he bumped his nose against the side of my head as a greeting. 'Hey you,' he murmured into my hair.
I met his eyes, smiled, 'Hey back,' I replied before taking a bite of my pizza.
'What got you looking so deeply invested in your conversation with Melody?' 
'Girl stuff that you wouldn't care about.' 
He pouted slightly, 'I can be a girl.' 
'Please don't.' I looked at him, horrified before narrowing my eyes, 'and stop pouting like that. You look like a wimp.' 

'Let's take this upstairs and I'll show you who's a wimp.' He smirked devilishly, hand brushing my side teasingly as my cheeks flushed with warmth. I punched his arm, muttering at him to go and break a leg before I do it for him whie he just laughed louder and pulled me closer. He pressed a kiss atop my forehead and my insides tingled. The touches and intimacy only grew after our blood bond and I don't think they would be stopping any time soon. 

'Game time!' Sehun exclaimed suddenly. He and Chen were already on the floor, already forming the circle as the rest of us moved to join them. I settled myself between Luhan and Kyungsoo, not failing to notice how fidgety Melody was being with Kyungsoo so close to her. I stifled a smile. 

'I call dibs on Never Have I Ever,' Baekhyun raised his hand, causing a cacophony of protests within the group. 
'Seriously? What are you, five?' Xiumin groaned. 
'What's wrong with that game?' Baekhyun asked with a pout.
'I'm down.' Chanyeol quickly slid in next to the latter, 'who wants to start?' 
'I say we make the newbie go first.' Chen wriggled his brows as eyes made their way to Melody's figure casually standing by the doorframe. 
It took her a few beats to realise that all eyes were on her.

When she did, she only frowned, 'what?' 

'You're the newbie.' Baekhyun said cheekily, 'so you're going first.' 
She let out a sigh, running a hand through her dark locks as she bit her lip in contemplation. I pitied her, considering that she was now the center of attention. 
'Never have I ever...' she paused before flicking a hesitant glance in Kyungsoo's direction, 'had a blood bond.' 

Her statement was met with multiple groans as all mated wolves and their mates took a swig including Luhan and I. But there was no mistaking the sneaky smirk on her face. It was clear that she was enjoying this as much as we all were. 

'Chen,' she called out the next target, who instantly narrowed his eyes at her for doing this on purpose. 
'Never have I ever had a mate.' He watched in satisfaction as everyone else around him drank, not failing to send a suggestive wriggle towards Melody. 
'That's low,' Sehun muttered under his breath. Chanyeol couldn't help but hide a snicker behind a cough. 

'Kyungsoo,' Chen called next. Kyungsoo's eyes widened slightly and I couldn't help but find it adorable how he would bite his lower lip while sparing a glance towards Melody, who was only regarding him with a look that gave nothing away. Unspoken sparks of electricity were clearly flying between them, and it was hard to tell which one was going to snap first. 
'Uh- Never have I ever -- had a girlfriend.' He blurted out. I figured he realized what he said next for he clamped his teeth onto his lower lip and stared as everyone drank. Melody only gazed at him in amusement, slowly twisting her glass with her fingers. 

I felt more than heard Luhan's soft whine in the shell of my ear, before turning my attention back to the silver-eyed wolf. He was looking at me with a playful gaze, and when I raised an eyebrow in question, motioned towards the front porch. We excused ourselved quietly, not missing the poignant glances of th and the girls' giggles Luhan grabbed onto my hand and pulled me away from the crowd.

Stumbling into the darkness of the front porch, I barely took note of my shivering shoulders before they got covered with Luhan's jacket. A burst of warmth stung my chest at his affectionate action, and while I mumbled out a 'thanks' and averted my gaze, I heard his chuckle rumble through his chest. He knew exactly what kind of effect he had on me and it was definitely not only because of the blood bond. Although, I guess that helped a lot too. 

We sat beside each other, shoulders touching as he gazed silently into the darkness of the forest. It still scared me to be so close to things i couldn't see, but it was tolerable with Luhan around. I didn't have to give in to the demons swimming in my ear, didn't have to listen to all the fearful whispers of the unknown creatures when my.wolf's warmth was enough to bring me back to reality. 
'I missed you.' Luhan mumbled. He pulled me so close that I was practically teetering over his lap before his arms s around my waist and pinned me there. 

My lips curved up in a smile, 'is this the only reason why you pulled me out of the room?' 

'Maybe' he mumbled, moving around to get me more comfortable. My smile only widened into a grin and as his face came into full view, my hands took a life of their own, pushing back his strands and playing with the hair at the base of his scalp.
'Such a pretty boy,' I found myself blurting out without realising what I was saying. Luhan's eyes narrowed, obviously displeased by my lack of creative vocabulary. I couldn't blame him. It had been a while since I read something knowledgeable. 

He growled slightly, burying his face into the crook of my neck. I shivered at the contact. 
'I was thinking,' he murmured, 'we should take a trip sometime.' 
'Where?' 
'I don't know. Anywhere. I really wanted to visit Europe.' 
I brushed some hair out of his eyes, 'will Kris and Suho be okay with that?'

'Why wouldn't they be?' 

'I don't know...' I trailed off, unsure about how the whole werewolf pack thing worked. I mean, what about their connection? And shouldn't they always be together because of that bond or something? So many questions started sprouting in my mind then, questions that I really thought I should've known by now. But Luhan's small laugh brought me back to reality and as I gazed back at him with a raised brow, he just shook his head. 

'You think way too much.' he said as one of his hands caressed the curve of my neck. 

'So how then? do you guys still hear each other and stuff?'

He nods, 'It's not as powerful as me standing beside them but yeah. It's basically the same thing. And plus, it will be nice not having them probing around us and sniffing us every second of the day.' 

I flushed at that, knowing full well that although we did want some privacy, it was hard when the twelve wolves were all cramped in one single house. 

'How are things going then, with Melody and Kyungsoo?' Luhan asked as I shifted in his lap to get a better view of the stars slowly illuminating the sky. 

'Could be better. Melody's still not really comfortable. I think she's mostly fighting herself, which is understandable. I don't blame her, to be honest.' I said with a shrug, 'Would you have risked it? If you were in her place?' 

My wolf hummed in the shell of my ear, 'It's hard to say when you're not in that exact situation. If something does happen, then it'll just be bad for both of them. But if they stay away from each other that will kill one or both.' His eyes shifted back to me, silver orbs glowing with sympathy, 'Either way, it's a lose-lose situation.'

'Unless nothing happens.' 

'Unless nothing happens.' He echoed.

'I want to help her,' I blurted out without meaning to. Seeing Melody's hurt face did not sit well with me. There was an urge, something that was pushing me towards that girl and her brokenness. Maybe it was because I could see myself in her eyes, how I had been before meeting Luhan, how reluctant I was to invest myself in relationships because I knew they wouldn't matter in the end, because I knew how badly it would just hurt.

Luhan pushed a stray strand of hair back from my face, curled it behind my ear as he softly murmured, 'You have such a soft heart for someone who seems so tough.' 

'That's your call. I never said I wasn't soft.' 

'You gave me reason to believe you were just a cold-hearted .' he chuckled. He playfully ticked my sides and caused me to yelp, 'But look at you now, being all grown up and actually talking like an adult.' he cooed.

'Shut-- Shut up--and stop--tickling me! Luhan!' I gasped as I tried to evade his attacks that had me laugh and wheeze uncontrollably, my wolf's grin widening upon his face as he watched me struggle frantically.

He stopped then, allowing me to breathe in some air. I narrowed my eyes at him, 'You're going to regret that--' 

Covering my words with his lips, he kissed my remaining breath away and I parted my mouth as if on instinct, molding right into him as the warmth sprung up between our bodies that moved towards each other in a slow dance we seemed to already know by heart. He pressed closer still, hands tugging my waist forward as my head bobbed back from the sudden intensity of his mouth against mine, delicate yet desirable, yearning yet proceeding as though I was made out of glass. 

My hands went to curl around his neck, raking through his hair and hearing the satisfied groan echo through his chest. I smiled in the kiss and he felt it, for he smiled back. And soon we had such huge -eating grins that made it impossible to continue our lip lock. 

Foreheads still pressed together, I bit my lip as the thought of traveling made me wistful. It would be a nice break from everything and from this place. I believe we both needed it. And plus, I had some time off before my university classes began in the fall, so why not?

And anyway, it didn't matter where we ended up. 

In the end, I knew I'd always follow him. Because he had my heart. And I had his. 

'Uhm, where are we going?' I mumbled, not quite comfortable with the concept of Luhan's hand publicly wrapped around mine as though we were exhibiting ourselves to the public. Not that anyone knew us anyway. But I still felt as though I was being exposed and left vulnerable. As if on instinct, my fingers tightened around his and I was rewarded when he squeezed them back in comfort.

He suddenly turned up this afternoon with a grin and a surprise hanging from his lips, didn't hesitate to whisk me away and wouldn't tell me no matter how much I pestered him to. He distracted me during the whole car ride and forced the conversation somewhere else whenever I tried to veer it back to the main question lingering in the air. It wasn't until he parked the car and proceeded down the road with me at his side that I started thinking of the worse kinds of scenarios that could happen.

Was he bringing me to someone whom he knew and needed approval of? 

Was it something to do with Werewolves and their weird habits and ticks, something I didn't know about yet? 

Or is he actually a serial killer that's going to reveal to me his chest of dead victims he had hidden so well all these years? 

Oh god seulmi, snap out of it, I thought to myself, feeling like I should whack my head with a pan. Of course he wasn't a serial killer and of course I already knew everything (or so I hoped) about the weird werewolf culture in which they lived in. 

'Luhan,' I whined softly and tried tugging onto his arm in an attempt to shake up his self-control. But he just looked down at me, eyes teasingly sparkling with amusement as a playful smile tilted his lips upwards. He brought a finger to his lips in a 'shh' gesture.

'Not yet.' he tugged me closer then. I stumbled into him and blushed when he intertwined our fingers, 'You're so impatient.' 

'I don't like surprises,' I replied with a frown, 'You, out of all people, should know that.' 

'You'll like this one.' he reached over to tap my nose. I playfully his hand to show my displeasure and he groaned.

'Children,' he muttered, which only made me snigger in response. 

We finally turned into one of the alleys that deviated away from the main road, before he ducked into an entryway that looked like some sort of tavern. I followed and was momentarily wrapped in darkness as we walked in what seemed to be a narrow corridor. Subconsciously, I pressed closer to my wolf as he kept walking with a confident gait, not at all bothered by the wrecked ball of nerves I was being at his side. I was certain he could feel it and just tried ignoring it, for my heart was stuttering and beating so fast it almost felt like it had been put on staccato.

'I'm not going to kill you, if that's what you're worried about.' Luhan suddenly bent down to murmur in the shell of my ear and causing a series of dancing sparks down my spine.

'Thanks, that makes me feel so much better.' I rolled my eyes.

We suddenly came to another entryway adorned with vines that twirled around the arched stone. Luhan walked through and I followed in his stead, only to stumble across a dimly light room. Wooden tables and chairs were scattered in a seating area while a bar was the center of it all. The same vines and lilac coloured flowers covered every inch of every furniture, giving it a magical, almost foresty atmosphere. It made my breath catch, it made me feel like a princess living in the medieval times.

I was pretty sure I looked dumb and stupid with my mouth falling open. 'Where...' I trailed off in a mumble, before trying again, 'Where are we?'

'This is the Botanist.' Luhan let out a small smile at my confused expression, 'It's a bar I like to visit sometimes when I'm in town.' 

'So you're a regular?' I asked as I followd him to one of the tables in the corner, away from the central crowd, away from all attention.

'You can say that,' he replied as we settled ourselves. A waitress sashayed over, handing out drink menus before stating the special cocktails of the night before walking away with swaying hips. It was only then that I scanned the prices, eyes almost falling out of my sockets at how ridiculously expensive these drinks were. I could get five burgers at the closest burger joint for the money I'm spending on one drink!

Luhan noticed the look on my face, for he spoke up before I could say anything, 'It's on me tonight. Don't worry about the prices.' 

'How can I not worry?' I mumbled mostly to myself although his ears perked up at my response. I felt his hand, warm and big and gentle, covering my own, and flitted my gaze up to lock on his own shining silver orbs. 

'I'm allowed to treat my lady once in a while, aren't I?'

Warmth crept up my cheeks. He said it so smoothly, so sensually and yet it felt like he was just talking about how great the weather was. It made me want to squirm in my own seat and he definitely didn't fail to read my emotions as easily as he was reading a book.

'I'm not a lady.' I mumbled.

'Yeah. You're my lady.' 

I scoffed, pushed his hand away, 'Stop talking nonsense.'

 I allowed him to order for me, considering I wasn't experienced in that field. More importantly, I was trying to stop my heart from fluttering so hard albeit the fact that he could see right through me. I bit my lip in nervousness upon feeling his stare, those intense silver orbs basically drilling holes into my brain. 

'Did you get any replies back from the colleges you applied to?' Luhan placed his elbows on the table. His muscles flexed and I gulped, swallowing thickly as the memory of our entwined bodies reflected in the moonlight sparked at the back of my eyelids. 

'Not yet.' I let my chin fall into my palm, 'They said they would get back to me around the end of the month though, and their applications haven't closed yet.'

Luhan hummed, then smirked. 'That means we get to spend more time together, until college kills you off.'

'Thanks. That makes me feel so much better.' Sarcasm dripped from my tone.

'Trust me, sweetheart. Once you get into college, your life is going to end.' 

'Is that your way of cheering me on? Because it's not working.' I crossed my arms over my chest in mock anger. 

The waitress came back to place the drinks on the table, mine being of a fresh minty green colour while Luhan's was more of a passionfruit orange. He clinked our glasses together and he smirked, 'Try it.'

'I don't trust you,' I brought the glass up to my nose. The drink smelt refreshing and I couldn't pinpont exactly the type of alcohol used, let alone if there was any alcohol to begin with. Slowly, I brought the liquid to my lips and took a sip. The mixture of cucumber, mint and strawberry hit my palate in a mixture of flavours that caused my eyes to widen in surprise.

When I met Luhan's gaze over the rim of my cocktail glass, his brown orbs were glittering with amusement, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He looked like a child that had just discovered the wonders of the universe. 

"Good, isn't it?' he said. 

I nodded mutely before taking another sip. I wasn't going to lie. It was a pretty good drink. 

We spent the night talking, the drinks soon forgotten when we fell into deep conversation about life and various other topics that wouldn't be addressed without the influence of alcohol. Luhan talked about his hometown and how he missed it, the glimmer of sadness present in his eyes whenever he mentioned his parents. It made my own heartstrings tug in pain whenever I felt him trying to choke back the swelling tide of emotions that come with his past. I learnt that his father was a rice farmer, something he'd inherited from his grandfather from the very early days. His family had come all the way from ancient China and their werewolf powers had been kept secret from the rest of the world, until they bumped into Suho and Kris's fathers' clans during their immigration process. 

'Do you miss them?' I asked softly while twirling my cocktail around.

Luhan didn't have to answer. I could see it painted across his face. His pain washed through me as if it were my own. And it was in a sense, because we shared everything. Luhan's sadness was just as important as my own. I bit my lip as I tried to think of ways to cheer him up. Not that I was very good at it. But I had to at least try, right? 

'Ma would've liked you.' Luhan whispered raspily, eyes glassy. I hated seeing him like this, so torn and battered, so vulnerable and fragile. My hand ached to reach out and hug him close, to make him feel wanted and safe.

'I'm sure she was a wonderful woman,' my gaze softened slightly. It hurt me to see him like this, 'And I'm sure she's proud of you, wherever she is.' 

'Not likely,' he mumbled and looked away, the pain flashing across his features so quickly I almost missed it, 'She didn't like me thinking of sports as a career rather than just a hobby. She wanted me to be a doctor.' 

'That's probably because she didn't know what kind of avenue and income was involved with that kind of career,' I told him, 'But you're so good at what you do, Luhan. And you know it.'

My wolf bit his lip, decided to stay silent. I could feel him, all frustration and hurt and loneliness mixed together in an endless battle that seemed to be haunting him endlessly. And though I wasn't experienced in comforting people nor did I know what sympathy meant, really, I did the only thing I could.

I reached out my hand, grasped his fingers with mine, before smoothing my thumb over his knuckles. His breath was ragged. Luhan closed his eyes for a full minute, and I have him his time, all the time he needed.

When he opened them again, specks of silver were floating in the depths of his chocolate pupils. They were so beautiful they made me want to gasp.

'I hope she knows,' his words were choked, strained, filled with remorse, 'I love her. I never got to tell her that.'

'She knows, Luhan.' I scooted forward in my seat, 'And I'm sure she's so, so proud of you.' 

Luhan swallowed thickly while his hands grasped mine. He locked eyes with me and I swore I felt my heart stutter. 

'Thank you,' he murmured. Part of me wondered if he was actually drunk as he did have a lot to drink tonight. But then again, did werewolves actually get drunk? Was that a thing or did they have superbly huge digestive tracts that just burnt up all the empty calories? It was no wonder there weren't any obses werewolves around. That would've been such a great advantage, I grumbled the thought to myself as I tried to drag Luhan's heavy body home. 

I thanked the gods that he was sober enough to hold himself up without any additional help. But his flushed cheeks and his dazed, glassy brown orbs were a clear indication of his toxification. I managed to call Suho from Luhan's phone, for someone would have to come fetch the vehicle. Suho thanked me for the update and after telling me not to worry about the car, ordered me to grab a cab home.

Luhan's head lolled back and forth throughout the entire car ride that it was a surprise it hadn't banged and cracked open by the time we stumbled through the main front door. A bedheaded, very sleepy Kris greeted us while rubbing his eyes. It was clear that we had disrupted his sleep, sleep that was precious to him these past few days. Guilt ate away at my consciousness, and I promised myself to make him some pancakes whenever I had a free day, as a way to thank him.

'Had fun?' Kris asked softly when he helped me haul Luhan up the stairs. I maneuvred my wolf's arm through our room as I tried my best to answer Kris's question. 'Yeah. The bar he brought me to was pretty cute.' 

'He was stressing so much about it, you know.' Kris chuckled. We managed to get him to the bed and Luhan dropped onto it as though he was just dead weight. The leader gazed down at his packmate, face softening with affection, 'He really does try. I know you want to beat his most of the time, but he really does have a good heart, where it counts.' 

'I know,' I murmured softly, 'I keep thinking I'm the lucky one. He doesn't deserve me. Heck, I'm like an A-Class .'

'Not gonna argue with that.'

I narrowed my eyes at the leader, 'Wow, thanks Kris. Way to make me feel better.' 

'Your words, not mine,' He raised his hands in mock surrender, before reaching out to ruffle my hair and ignoring the scowl I threw at him, 'Anyway, don't be so hard on yourself. If Luhan loves you, then there clearly is something to love. You can try hiding it, but we all know how good your heart is, Seulmi.' 

'Is it something about the A.M. that make you wolves so emotional or what?' I tried to reply with sarcasm, except it didn't really work for Kris only chuckled lightly and flashed another soft smile at me.

'That and alcohol.' 

After the leader had helped me change Luhan into his pyjamas, he bid me goodnight and I crawled under the covers next to my wolf, hearing the soft even breaths that indicated that he was in deep sleep.

Slowly, very slowly, my fingers brushed against his fringe as I thought of all the layers of his past he kept buried inside his heart like an unopened pandora's box. There were so many things he'd left unsaid when we started sharing a bond, and while I did have access to certain types of thoughts and emotions that he didn't care to hide, I clearly hadn't been part of his life, had missed a big chunk of his past and what made him who he was today. It was a chunk that had me really curious and intrigued. 

'Why do you try so hard to deal with everything on your own?' I whispered, tracing his features with my eyes and trying to remember every single detail and crevice of his face. I took note of the tiny scar at the very corner of his left eye, and smiled softly. Affection made my chest feel warm and cozy. It made me feel secure, at home. 

Something I've been struggling to attain for the past eighteen years of my life.

Something that only Luhan had managed to give me. 

I was grateful. I really was, for if I were in his place there was no possible way in hell I'd put so much effort and be so patient with a girl that only threw rocks at him at each chance she got. I realized how hard it must've been for him to deal with me, make me understand, try to win me over while struggling through the reality of the bond itself. My heart swelled with guilt at the thought. 

'Seulmi...Seulmi,' I heard him mumble, and my sleepy eyes shot open in surprise. 

His eyes had opened, still drowsy and glazed from the effects of alcohol. But a huge foolish grin spread across his face the moment he caught sight of my face. 

'There you are,' he cooed, before I was suddenly dragged into his arms and lying on top of him. Burying his nose into the depths of my neck, he hummed in appreciation, You smell so good. Did I tell you that before? No? Well you do smell good. It's like freshwater and cherries and how rain feels when it falls on your skin.'

I gazed at him in amusement. Luhan drunk was something to be witnessed and I intended to use every second to my advantage. 

Scooting closer to his face and leaning in until our noses brushed, I murmured, 'Who's the one you like the most?' 

He frowned drowsily, 'Don't ask stupid questions.' he said, waving an arm in the air to prove his point, 'Of course it's my Seulmi.' His arms laced around my waist, tugged me close, 'It's always going to be my Seulmi.' 

'So how about you tell me your dating history,' I said lightly. 

'Hmm? Dating history?' Luhan pursed his drunken lips. His face was flushed and I couldn't help but marvel at how adorable he looked in that instant. I wanted to capture his expressions and keep them inside my heart forever. Love swelled through my chest at the thought and I wanted to slap myself for talking like such a pathetic lovestruck fool. 

'Let's see, hmm...' his eyes suddenly narrowed in suspicion, 'Wait. You're asking me this to trick me!'

He pointed a finger at me like a little child, 'You want to trick me! You think I'm gonna tell you everyone I went out with?!'

'Oh, everyone?' I raised a brow.

'Yes, everyone!' he replied with a pout, crossing his arms over his chest as a defense mechanism, 'I mean I was lonely and young and stupid. Young wolves are like that. They can't keep it in their pants.' 

'So it wasn't just dating.' 

'No no no no,' he burst out laughing as if it was the funniest thing on earth to be telling me this, while I only looked at him with a growing scowl on my face. I had to brace myself for this. To tell the truth, I hadn't expected him to say these words so easily even when I knew that he'd lived long enough to get frustrated, 'Of course it wasn't just dating. Any sane guy doesn't just date. That's no fun. We like to pl--' his eyes suddenly focused on my form and it seemed like something clicked inside his brain, because he jumped up with a yelp of surprise, 'Seulmi! Seulmi, I'm so glad you're here. I was looking for you.' 

'I was here all along.' 

'I'm glad...' he muttered before closing his eyes, a peaceful smile on his lips, 'I'm so glad...you're here..'

A snore erupted from his rising chest. I could only gape at the wolf in front of me with more anger and frustration I've felt since I came to this place. Other women? And what, playing?

He had a lot of things to explain, and I wasn't about to let him off the hook so easily. 

'You have a lot to explain.' 

Luhan looked up in his mate's eyes and wondered when they ever got so cold. Faint flashes of memory came back to him, and albeit he didn't recall much from the night itself, there was no denying the fact that he could've spluttered out anything. After all, a drunk Luhan was a pathetic mess that really wasn't the smartest individual. 

He opened his mouth to say something, anything to save his from the growing volcano in front of him. He was going to run head first in this and wasn't sure he'd make it out alive, if he were to be honest.

He brought a hand up to his face, 'What did I do last night?' he groaned into his palm.

'Oh nothing much,' Seulmi crossed her arms over her chest, 'But you said some things, things I'd like to clarify.' 

Oh. Oh no.

A blabbering Luhan was the last thing he needed right now.

'So, I asked you about your dating history.' Seulmi started with an expression that claimed him not to be a fool and actually think twice before answering her, 'Mind telling me about that? And not just the dating part. If you know what I mean.' 

Oh god. Oh my god he'd said something about that. He remembered briefly, the words spilling out of his mouth before he could stop them. 

A soft whine echoed through the back of his throat, but if she noticed then she didn't acknowledge it. She just stood there, foot tapping against the floor, face expectant and on the brink of launching into a full-out tantrum.

Luhan cleared his throat and tried to focus through the dull throb in the back of his brain, 'It wasn't serious. None of the girls were.' he mumbled, 'I was young and hot-blooded, didn't really care about mates at this point. I was just having the time of my life.' he lifted his head, locked eyes with her to prove his point, 'We all were.'

'How many?' 

'I don't know. I didn't keep count.' 

'Because there were too many?' 

'Seulmi,' Luhan's eyes flashed with emotion, silver specks dotting his brown pupils when he finally met her gaze, 'I've lived for a long time. I'd be lying to say I wasn't interested in other females at this point.' 

'Sure,' she jutted out her chin, 'Fine. Fair enough. But you could've told me instead of suddenly blurting it out and taking me by surprise.'

'I didn't mean to do that. I'm sorry.'

'Whatever.' she let out a sigh and it didn't go unnoticed that she was still frustrated and irritated about the whole thing. Luhan could smell it off her scent, could feel the tidal wave of negative emotions as though they were his own.

He was so wrapped up in the issue that he hadn't realized she had reached the door and was about to leave. But he wasn't about to let her leave, not like this, not like how she was feeling. 

He swiftly strode towards her before grabbing onto her arm and swiftly tugging her to him. She fell right into his chest but while her eyes swam with flared irritation and pent-up anger, Luhan only wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed her body against his own, trapping her in his embrace.

'You're not going anywhere.' he breathed, his hold an iron cage.

'Let me go,' she hissed back as she tried pulling and pushing him away, 'Let me go!'

'I might have dated the the other girls, and I might have played around a lot before I got a mate,' Luhan ignored her attempts to break free from his hold and instead tightened his grip while his other hand cupped her chin to make her look directly into his eyes. He wanted, needed her to know that he wasn't playing around when he was telling her that. It was the truth in its rawest, purest form.

'But that doesn't mean I don't care about you or don't love you. Seulmi, you're like air. You know I can't live without you, right?'

Seulmi's eyes dropped to his chest at that statement. She bit her lip, 'No. I don't know.'

'Yes,' Luhan's eyes bored into her, intense and filled with so much passion she wanted to squirm in his hold, 'Yes you do know. You know how it feels. You can feel it, don't lie. You feel it as much as I do. It's not fair that I've lived longer and got the chance to experience more, and you might resent me for that. But you should know that--' he almost choked at the amoutn of emotion crawling up his throat. It sounded as though he was breaking inside, 'You should know I've never loved anyone like I loved you, and that says a lot because I chose you, out of everyone else in this goddamn world.'

He pulled her closer still, thumb the side of her face and watching her gaze soften slightly at his words. Taking a deep breath and trying to keep his breathing and voice steady, he continued, 'So please don't fight with me on this. I'll say it again and again if I have to. I'll repeat myself a million times if that still doesn't reassure you. But I love you, okay? Not Vivian, not all the other girls I've met and dated for fun. No one. No one but you.'

A silence descended upon the two after his little monologue but the air had softened slightly, Seulmi's emotions having descended into a low tide when his words washed over her in comfort and reassurance. She looked away from him, decided to stare at the ground instead while he continued the side of her cheek and watching the soft flush blossom over her face. He would never get tired of seeing her blush because of him. It was an endearing sight, a sight he wouldn't trade for anything else.

'Are you mad?' Luhan asked after a while.

'No.' she bit her lip, and Luhan had to resist the urge from kissing her lips. He watched her instead, warmth blossoming through his chest when she looked up at him with those eyes of hers, eyes that rendered him weak at the knees. It almost made it hard for him to breathe. 

'I'm sorry,' she mumbled out as her gaze fell away, 'And...thank you. For being so considerate.' 

Luhan chuckled. He swooped in and before she could stop him, had pecked her lips. She let out a stifled gasp and Luhan leaned back far enough to watch her eyes flutter, noses brushing against each other as he took her in; her warmth, her scent, her everything.

'So cute.' he murmured, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear before pressing another chaste kiss to her forehead, to her cheek, her nose, mouth finally travelling down and brushing against hers. 

He felt Seulmi gulping, had to restrain the smile that threatened to spill onto his lips.

Tilting her chin up with his hand, he let his warm breath wash over her face and was rewarded by the slow tremble of her limbs, her own mouth falling open as she took in another shaky breath. His ears perked up at the sound of her heart beating wildly against her chest and he mentally patted himself on the back for having ignited such emotions.

'I love you.' she suddenly blurted out.

Luhan blinked at her. His heart practically stopped.

His brain turned to mush. He blinked again.

What?

What?

Seulmi swallowed before hurriedly adding a, 'I mean you knew that already but I just--'

She didn't get to finish her sentence, for Luhan cut her off with a passionate kiss. He kissed her more hungrily, the passion igniting through his blood and swelling around his heart as her own feelings washed over him like a warm cocoon he could wrap himself in and sleep in forever. He kissed her like it was the last time he would ever see her, and it felt like a dream when her lips parted and a sigh escaped her. That sigh, he wanted to devour her, to make her feel just as dizzy and as lightheaded as he was.

He wanted to make her feel loved, and he promised himself it was what he would do for the rest of his life.

UPDATTTTTEEEEEDDDD WOOHOOOOOOOO 

I'm going to finish this. I really will, trust me. 

Luhan's just a little player who loves playing around with my emotions and Seulmi is just super jealous and insecure. While I know that she shouldn't be considering they're mates, it's normal in every relationship so I decided to throw in some of it there. Hope you liked this chapter! And let me know if you'd like more Kyungsoo x Melody moments because I already wrote down a bunch and wasn't sure whether you guys were interested in their story or not haha.

Have a good day, everyone! <3 And thank you so much for all the support and for reading even though I'm not active at all :,) love y'all! 

- nutmeggu