sixty-three

I am because we are (Ubuntu) [Permanent Hiatus]
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The view outside the window remains dull as it has been since morning, with only a change of color from morning bright to dim afternoon. The sun’s bright rays had yet to peek through, but the clouds’ graceful movements towards the horizon are enough to calm Baekhyun’s still aching heart. He watches it in silence with a wish he long desires.

 

Peace is all he wants, a life without lies.

 

Left alone in the living room, Baekhyun felt encased and suffocated by the luxury that is surrounding him. Regretfully noticing every detail like the first time he had stepped foot inside the expensive penthouse. At the wide stretch of the full-length windows, Baekhyun shifts his eyes from watching the sky to his own reflection. What showed a beautiful scenic view just seconds ago, now shows what he believes is the opposite: Baekhyun’s sad pathetic image detracting the golden beauty around him.

 

 

Somewhere in the kitchen, maybe even at the dining room, Minho’s deep voice echoes passed through. Although muffled by the walls, the conversation was enough for Baekhyun to listen to, even if he does not mean to eavesdrop.

While the terrible heartache he felt not too long ago had subsided, prickling pain remains as he catches some words here and there, and reality presents itself for the nth time. For the words he catches, clearly voiced out by Minho to the person he is currently talking to on the other line, are all wealth related. The talk of business deals, family relations, and money issues stab Baekhyun like sharp knives.

 

And he can’t stop his mind from reeling with thought after thought after thought. How Minho, like he had said, does indeed have a reputation to uphold, responsibilities to carry. How Minho, as a son of a Choi, is backed up and assured by a prominent future. How Chanyeol, as a son of a Park, is not any different. And how Baekhyun, being a mere Byun – a last name that blends in with a thousand other common names – is nothing short but an average person, who is unfortunately part of the lower class society and with no definite future.

 

 

Looking down his left wrist, Baekhyun traces the bracelet Chanyeol had given him, smooth under the soft pads of his fingertips. Its diamonds, not once losing its sparkle no matter how unlit his surroundings were; its golden elegance never failing to show its prominence. And all of it perfectly representing who Park Chanyeol is in both society and as an individual.

 

He scoffs at himself, hiding the bracelet under the palm of his hand. It was amusing, funny, yet sad and painful at the same time, how a mere object can carry such heavy symbolism.

 

Prestige – Chanyeol’s financial capability. (Baekhyun may not be aware nor recognize the prestigious brand, Cartier. But he is most definitely aware that a piece of gold holds no humble pricing)

Power – The golden piece encrusted with several diamonds equating to influence, symbolizing wealth, success, and luxury. The Parks.

Impossibility – The accessory is something Chanyeol can easily afford, but will take Baekhyun a lifetime of untouched savings before he is able to. The rich and the poor. Park Chanyeol and Byun Baekhyun.

 

 

With a deep heavy sigh, Baekhyun looks back out the window, and goes back to watching the clouds move in peace towards the horizon.

 

 

 

 

♠♠♠

 

 

Too preoccupied with his musings, Baekhyun fails to notice the knocking sounds on the front door. Just in time Minho’s call ends and he answers the door. It is only when sudden squeals of his name resound throughout the penthouse that Baekhyun is disrupted.

 

“BAEKHYUN AJUSSHI!!” two boys scream as they enter and run through the hallway.

 

Startled and almost jumping from his seat, Baekhyun turns just in time to catch a lunging six year old as well as a flailing ten year old boy who followed.

 

“Sehun?!” Baekhyun squeaked in surprise as said boy clung to him immediately. “Luhan?..” he adds rather speechlessly as the ten year old boy sat beside him and greeted him with a big wide grin. “What are you guys doing here?” and in a matter of seconds, Baekhyun’s laughter fills the once quiet penthouse as he embraces close the two children in his arms.

 

“Goodness me, I haven’t been here in ages.”

 

A voice of an old lady prompts Baekhyun back to the front hall, and cries out delightedly at the sight of Minho guiding her further in. “Grandma!”

 

“Oh hello dear, I haven’t seen you for so long.” She greets him, voice rasp due to old age but nonetheless welcoming that instantly warms Baekhyun. And the pain he once felt completely swept away as his heart flutters in joy.

 

 

At the sight of Baekhyun’s bewildered expression, Minho could not help but chuckle; glad and relieved to see the pain and sadness completely gone. “Chanyeol invited them.. wanted to surprise you.” He says with an unguarded smile.

 

“Tsk tsk tsk, young love I see.” Grandma teases as she, too, could not help a smile of her own. “How are you, child?” she asks him, but later laughs at Baekhyun’s apparent delight reflecting in his eyes, even more so at her grandchildren’s obvious happiness and affection towards the young man. “Now, now boys, don’t be too rough. Your Baekhyun ajusshi is injured, you might hurt him more.” She adds in caution after Sehun tackled him the second time.

 

“Injured?!” The boys shriek in panic, both pulling away to inspect their Baekhyun ajusshi of said injuries.

 

“Where are you hurt, ajusshi?” Luhan asks worriedly.

 

“Who hurt you, ajusshi? Can we hurt them back too?” Sehun pouts as tears begin to well up his eyes.

 

Instantly panicked at the tearing up boy, Baekhyun soothes both the best he can – patting Luhan’s head while Sehun’s face. “No no, no one hurt me. It was an accident. I’m good now. Nothing hurts. See?” he gives them the largest grin he could muster.

 

 

The scene had Minho’s heart melting with warmth, watchful affectionate eyes at Baekhyun’s evident joy and the boys’ obvious care. And his laughter rings in the air not a moment later and joined in by Grandma, as they watched Baekhyun continuously convince the boys he is A-Okay.

Watches with amusement as Luhan inspects Baekhyun’s body of the injuries, checking and pressing spots on his arms and thighs to see if the older will react in pain. Watches with fondness as Sehun embraces him with his short arms, loudly stating that ‘hugs’ are the best remedy to ease any sort of pain.

 

But it is all short-lived, and Baekhyun is finally saved from the boys’ insistent ‘comforting ways’ when Minho had taken the two-cat carrier from Grandma’s hold. In an instant Baekhyun’s attention is on the cats that in turn had the two boys distracted.

 

If Minho was joyed to see not a single hint of hurt he saw not too long ago, he is even more delighted when Baekhyun squeals after he frees the two cats who scrambled out of their confines like they have never left home.

 

 

 

 

 

For a while, they were all in their own world.

 

With a little help from Minho who carried both cats to him, Baekhyun immediately showers them with affection; rubbing his face against Mimi who comically tried to escape from his grasp, and kissing Foofoo all over while the kitty his nose. Even if he was distracted, both boys were unfazed. Because Sehun went on a spree of telling stories about his Christmas experience and listing all the gifts he received one by one. While Luhan played with Mimi who remained snobbish as she lay on the carpet. And Minho joins in along, engaging some small talk with the boys as he laughed from time to time at Baekhyun’s cute antics towards the cats.

 

 

And then there is Grandma, who simply sat at the side after Minho offered her a seat, watching everyone yet also eyeing her surroundings. A relieved smile makes its way onto her lips after she sees the change she had not failed to catch. For the last time she had visited young Park Chanyeol’s penthouse, it was nothing but an empty dwelling surrounded by a somber atmosphere. Today, it is not.

 

Around the living room, she first notices the Christmas tree that stood beautifully at the corner despite unlit, with a number of boxes of gifts, from small to big, underneath it. She did not miss the golden star that lay just below the star at the tree's peak, a new addition to the old Christmas ornaments. At the center is the coffee table. What once was a clean clear glass now marked with smudged fingerprints and messily placed books. The couches that she had always seen neat in the past, now with pillows placed askew and out of order, a blanket randomly draped at one corner.

 

She then gets distracted when Minho offers to carry the other small bag Grandma had brought. With a smile to the young boy, she is guided away from the living room to the kitchen. Once again, as Grandma followed closely behind, she continued to look around her.

 

They walk through the dining room. The once empty table now decorated with placemats and a vase of flowers at its center, real and no longer fake. Its chairs not neatly aligned around it. She fleets her fingers over the once smooth surface and a wider smile blooms on her face as she feels it now marked by light scratches with not a single dust accumulating.

 

At the kitchen, she stands by the kitchen island as Minho unpacked the baked goodies she had brought. She looks around once more and pleased, sighs inaudibly.

There were two jars of cookies perched on one side of the counter; a few other snacks compiled behind it. And just beside it was a basket of fruits, a variety of them and not just one or two. Almost empty cooking ingredients neatly lined the sides of the stove; newly washed cutleries left to dry at the dish rack. The smell of food lingering in the air.. and etcetera.

 

 

These were nothing but unnoticeable trivial details, but they also perfectly showed the changes Baekhyun had brought onto Chanyeol’s life. His once empty, nothing but a lifeless penthouse, is now filled with immense warmth. It was now not just a simple expensive dwelling, but a home, Grandma would like to believe.

 

 

Another thing Grandma could not help but notice was Minho’s smile that reflected genuine joy, not once ebbing when he had greeted her at the door.

For the last years since Chanyeol had moved into the building, randomly meeting her grandchildren at the lobby together with his friends that soon developed into a friendly relationship, she had not once seen this boy behave so.. happy. His guard down with no infamous piercing stare as he moved about the kitchen with a skip in his steps. Just an uncharacteristic happiness evidently radiating out of him.

 

“You’re taking care of Baekhyun, dear?” she asked.

 

“I am.” Minho answered absentmindedly. “He’s wounded and we can’t leave him alone. But he’s okay now, nothing too serious to be worried about.”

 

“Red velvet cupcakes, Grandma?” he then says when he started to set them out on the plates.

 

“I thought I’d try out a new recipe. Why, you don’t like it?”

 

“Oh no, not that. Not that at all. It’s just something Baekhyun bakes at the café we first met him at.” Minho says with a pitch in his voice, an obvious elation to the fond memory.

 

“A wonderful boy isn’t he?” Grandma couldn’t help but voice out.

 

“He is. Junmyeon treats him like his son, even though they’re not really far from age,” Minho chuckles. “Tao adores him too; there are two kids in the group now. Jongdae and Jongin are very fond of him. And you should meet his friend, Kyungsoo. I’m sure you would love him,” and so on he continues. Rambling in a rather absentminded manner how attached they have become to this friend of theirs.

 

And all of it fluttered Grandma’s heart with glee. To find out that it is not only Chanyeol he had affected positively but also the people around him. To further know the extent of how, in no doubt, is Baekhyun a wonderful addition to this group of young boys whose lives were once enveloped in misery too apparent to miss.

 

What a lovely blessing Baekhyun is to their lives. She thought to herself.

 

 

 

 

 

When they returned back to the living room, a plate of cupcakes and a pitcher of juice in hand, what greets them both warmed their hearts.

 

It had Minho’s heart flip in another sound of joy as Baekhyun’s laughter resounded loudly around the pent. Like the events of earlier had never happened and forgotten. And he can’t help but feel the excitement course through his body as he thought of telling Junmyeon of today’s delightful events. The thought that most probably, most surely, Junmyeon would envy and regret that he agreed for Minho to go instead of him.

 

The carpeted floor was a mess of cat toys and three boys. While Luhan actively played with Foofoo, wiggling around a teaser toy as the cat scrambled to catch the feathers at its end. Baekhyun, on the other hand, was crawling while roaring as he chased Sehun who was screaming his lungs out ‘monster puppy!’. And even though unfazed by the loud noises and ruckus being made, Mimi watched atop the coffee table as the three humans go about their games. Although, she is soon not exempted when Baekhyun stops in front of her to nuzzle his nose with the cat’s; Sehun promptly shrieking how a puppy can’t eat a kitty.

 

They are soon, however, interrupted by Minho’s loud laughter and his booming voice calling their attention. “Does anyone want cupcakes?” and receives a unanimous scream of three me’s.

 

And Grandma, who stood in the background, did not miss the sparkle in Minho’s grin nor the apparent tedious care as he helped Baekhyun off the carpet and onto the couch. She could not help but shake her head yet with a smile still gracing her lips. For the love Minho had for Baekhyun was far too obvious – in his smiles and in his actions. Even though Grandma knew it was all platonic, it was also undeniably pure and genuine.

 

 

 

 

♠♠♠

 

 

As the afternoon sun began its descent, everything had settled down and peace returned to the penthouse. At least, as much peace it can get with two boys whose energies seem to never die down. But it was a kind of peace that settled Baekhyun’s heart into nothing but calm beats per second.

 

The living room was still filled with noise as it was Minho’s turn to play with the boys. An incredibly playful side Baekhyun had never thought the older had in him. Minho’s usual calm collected, authoritative figure, gone and replaced by a young child at heart in a grown man’s body. He was dumbly walking like a dinosaur and roaring to his heart’s content, chasing Sehun all around who screamed ‘SCARY DRAGON DINOSAUR!’ every minute or two. With Luhan falling over and rolling on the floor as he laughed at the idiotic man Minho was reduced to.

 

On the couch where Baekhyun sat together with Grandma, he muffles his giggles, completely entertained at the playful scene before him. And at another loud roar echoing throughout the penthouse Grandma too gets momentarily distracted.

 

“Minho have always loved those two.” She says, pausing her knitting as she smiled their way. “Chanyeol too. Those two giants had the most affinity for the two boys.” She chuckles, looking back down and continuing her knitting of an almost done colorful patterned blanket.

 

“Really?” Baekhyun asked absentmindedly, a fond smile gracing his lips as he is reminded of the first time he had met Luhan and Sehun months ago. The image of Chanyeol’s once unusual affectionate side that he saw for the

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exocholic
[Ubuntu] Hello! Just to let everyone know, a little update on the last chapter, it's already on the works! It looks like it's going to be a very long chapter though. So I may have to see if I'll update with what I currently have or just the whole last chapter in one go. But finally getting there! 😭

Comments

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MyLipsOnEXOs
#1
This fic is definitely the perfect one for winter. If anyone scrolls the comments they’ll see how often I reread this! At this point I would buy a physical copy of it.
Maya1990
#2
Chapter 95: When I saw in the title that it's in permanent huatus I went to the last ch to see where did it stopped and I swear to god I cried .... the pain I felt was REAL, the last 1000 words broke my heart 💔 now I want to read the whole thing knowing very well it will get me depressed
JuliaByun #3
Chapter 95: August 2023 and I still long for this story 🥹 I keep coming back because it demands my attention. I hope you’re doing great and well authornim ❤️❤️
walkinginmoonlight #4
Chapter 95: Ahh sometimes I get reminded of this fic and just how like, lovely it is? It's been years since I've last reread it, but I still remember it fondly, gosh the times when it had just started I still clearly remember. I was just reminded of aff being a thing today and had to try and remember my login.. I cannot remember if I commented on this chapter already but! Even if it's not the complete end, it's half of the end, so we've come pretty far since the beginning 😊 I know updates went from quick to rather slow, but seeing it's been awhile I got a bit worried so checked your twitter, and it's nice to see you're still doing well! Or, seemingly doing well. That you're still around and still enjoying our EXOs~❤️ so I hope you are doing well! And thank you for the very memorable fic 😊
MyLipsOnEXOs
#5
I've lost count of which rereading this is but this shall definitely always be my comfort fic. Whether it's the writing style or the details or the flow or the characters or maybe all of that together, there's just something that has me always coming back.

I read this for the first time in 2018, 5 years later it still holds a special place in my heart. I usually avoid starting new fics that haven't been updated recently, but just like my very first comment on this fic "It's on permanent hiatus but the foreword has me entranced so I will read it", the story is truly entrancing and gosh I'm grateful I read it!
Exofanland #6
Chapter 95: had to reread the last few chap bc its been so long and yes i am still crying my eyes out.
dreaming777
#7
Chapter 95: Hi there, I've left my aff account for so long an happy to see this update!!!! And truthfully I didn't expect I would still bawled my eyes out 😭
uwuness
#8
i keep coming back here just to check if authornim's have an update but no rush authornim, i can still wait :)))))) i'll reread this again because i'm missing this so much~

take care always~
uwuness
#9
i miss this so much 😭
hearteututu #10
Chapter 95: I’m back after many years and this made me cry so much. I really love this story and can still remember every scene vividly. Tysm for this wonderful and heartfelt chapter 💕