sixty-one

I am because we are (Ubuntu) [Permanent Hiatus]
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Seated by the couch with a fairly big space between them, both Minho and Baekhyun are focused on the movie currently being played on TV. Only, Minho is the only one paying attention while Baekhyun’s thoughts are elsewhere.

 

The movie they are watching is the ever famous classic 1950 Disney animated film, Cinderella; chosen by Minho himself after winning a game of rock-paper-scissors that both amused and surprised Baekhyun. For one, he did not think Chanyeol would have a copy of it lying in his set of movie collections. Second, he never imagined Minho, of all people, to insist on it. Choi Minho was known as an intimidating cold ice prince, after all. A liking to cheesy classic cliché fairytales was just out of his character.

 

However, unlike Minho who saw the movie as nothing but an animated film, Baekhyun, on the other hand…

 

 

 

Reduced to nothing but a scullery maid, the lowest-ranked of female servants in past history, Cinderella experiences abuse and mistreatment from her stepfamily. But after one night of a temporary dream coming true, granted by her Fairy Godmother, at a ball held at the royal palace, she falls in love with the handsome prince. However, at the of midnight, the magic ends and Cinderella is stripped off of her beautiful gown that turns back to rags. --

 

Does the story not speak for Baekhyun himself? He may not have experienced abuse nor mistreatment, but isn’t he part of the lowest-ranked social class? Is Park Chanyeol not the prince in his story? The handsome prince he falls in love with, who falls for him back.

 

Baekhyun knew the movie’s storyline. He had seen it a few times. It was a classic fairytale after all, basic knowledge of the general plotline was a given. But if before, the movie was nothing but a fantasy fairytale, right now…

His heart sinks at the slow realization that he is in a similar position as the main character. With a painful difference that while Cinderella is a character of fantasy, Baekhyun is not.

 

In the middle of the movie, Baekhyun gets lost in thoughts – no longer paying attention to what is happening. While he muses in silence, he unconsciously turns to Minho, watching the older as thoughts reeled his mind.

 

The story ends with a happily ever after as Cinderella got her happy ending. Because despite leaving abruptly at the of midnight, with the expectation of never to be seen again, the duke was sent by the king in a pursuit to find her; going to every household to have every maiden try on the glass shoe she left behind.

 

Will Baekhyun get his own happily ever after too? Or is that only wishful thinking and impossible?

 

 

Finally noticing the rather blatant stares in his peripheral vision, Minho turns to Baekhyun. And immediately notices the younger lost in thought. With a light tap on his nose, he disrupts Baekhyun’s musings.

 

“What’s wrong? Something on my face?”

 

Snapped back to his senses, Baekhyun merely blinks at him; shaking his head in silent reply. With no more said further, before Minho could wonder more, he turns back to the television.

 

However, not a moment too soon, Baekhyun is back to his musings.

 

 

But Cinderella first had to face a few obstacles before she got her happy ending. With the hindrance of her stepfamily – locking her up in her room to hide her from the duke, the breaking of the glass slipper – all almost led to no happily ever after. Yet nonetheless, a cliché story always ends with the desired ending, a happy fantasy.

 

Clenching his hands on his lap, Baekhyun feels prickling heartache as he thought of his own.

 

While Cinderella is only a mere character in a movie, her story ending as predicted – Baekhyun is living reality. His story, on the other hand, may not end as he desires – not a single clue of how the future will unfold. And while Cinderella faced a few obstacles, Baekhyun will have to face many. Because while fantasy can be controlled, reality cannot.

 

 

“If Junmyeon hyung was Cinderella, would Minho hyung still fall in love with him?” Baekhyun wonders aloud.

 

Caught off guard, Minho is distracted from the movie. “What do you mean? Like if Junmyeon was a pretty princess and I was a handsome prince?” He said in jest, chuckling at the imagery.

 

But Baekhyun doesn’t smile nor laugh with him. Instead, he replies back still serious; an uncharacteristic dim in the eyes that looked back him.

“If Junmyeon hyung is not elite, would hyung still love him?”

 

“Yeah, I guess.” Minho sighs, brushing off Baekhyun’s unusual behavior. “As long as Junmyeon is still Junmyeon, why not? Doesn’t matter if he’s elite or not, as long as he isn’t poor then I don’t see any problem.”

 

At Minho’s last phrase, Baekhyun feels his stomach sink with dread, a strong hit of heartache in his chest.

“As long as he isn’t poor? Why? Is being poor bad? Are you one of those people who judge them too? Is it really impossible if the person is poor?” he couldn’t help but voice out a string of questions. The heartache twisting to resentment for every word uttered.

 

Taken aback by the apparent hurt in his voice, Minho is left speechless for a moment. He looks at Baekhyun, whose eyes reflect evident pain as it searched his own for answers.

“At least let me explain?”

 

Realizing his uncalled outburst, Baekhyun looks away and down to his lap in shame. With fidgeting fingers, he waits for Minho to speak again and wills the hurt he felt away.

 

“There is nothing wrong with being poor.” Minho begins voice gentle as he explains. “It is not anyone’s fault and not a choice given. Neither do I hold any judgement towards them. Please don’t misunderstand.”

 

“If let’s say Junmyeon is as poor as we pretend he is, then yes – as long as he is still Junmyeon, then regardless of his status, I will still love him.”

 

“But Baekhyun..” With two fingers under his chin, Minho tilts Baekhyun’s head to look back at him. He sends the younger a warm smile despite eyes reflecting a hint of sadness. “While it is not impossible.. it is, however, going to be very hard.”

 

“If Junmyeon is poor and I remain with a status of elite, I’d rather let him go than cage him with me just because I love him.”

 

“Why?” Baekhyun almost brokenly voices out. Fleeting yet unmistakable hurt streaks in his dark irises.

 

“Because I can’t be selfish. I will be bringing Junmyeon to my world of prestige and prominence and it is inevitable for people to oppose the relationship. I am a Choi, Baekhyun. Not an ordinary citizen of society who is a son of an average couple. Surely you have heard it many times, said too, perhaps – I am elite in status – not simply rich, but the rich of the rich. My family holds power, not simply money alone.”

 

“As a son of a Choi, I have a reputation to uphold. A reputation I am expected to hold.”

 

“And bringing Junmyeon hyung into your life will ruin it…” Baekhyun trails off – stating rather than questioning – heart now beating in immense pain as reality is jabbed at him.

 

“Not only mine but his too.”

 

“Come here.” Minho says, holding out to pull Baekhyun gently beside him, taking away the space between them leaving only a little. He encases the younger’s hands between his, an effort to comfort the obvious hurt.

But Baekhyun avoids looking back into Minho’s eyes once again, the warmth of the older hurting him more than comforting him.

 

“His too?” Baekhyun asks in a whisper, almost inaudible as fear of the truth envelops him.

 

“My reputation can be ruined for all I care. As long as I love him then that’s more important. But that is me and me alone. In reality.. there is no only me. With my reputation comes the whole family. I am simply a son of a Choi. Ruining that name will ruin both my parent’s and the others in line.”

He rubs soothing circles on Baekhyun’s hand, his voice remains gentle; the gentlest Baekhyun has ever heard.

“In turn, Junmyeon will get hurt too. They will not only oppose the relationship, but they will oppose him as a person. And because he’s on the lower end, he will receive more hate than I ever will. He will face rejection, denial, disapprovals. He will be judged and seen negatively. Knowing my parents, they would do anything in their power to break the relationship. I’d protect him, but I can only do so much.. I am far too powerless to control what is around me.”

 

“Do you understand?”

 

It takes Baekhyun a long moment before he nods meekly. The pain in his chest felt more real and physical – thumping in harsh pain for every word the older utters. Some answers he knew all too well, some answers he didn’t and left him more afraid. And to hear them firsthand, to be voiced out directly to him, made things even more real – sinking in further to his mind and pained heart.

Baekhyun is poor, Chanyeol is elite – their relationship is unacceptable.

 

 

“Why the sudden question, Baekhyun?” Minho asks, running his fingers through his hair in an attempt to soothe the younger further – a habit he had caught on from Junmyeon. “Is this about Kyungsoo’s brother? Junmyeon told me all about it last night.”

 

Baekhyun does not reply, simply looking up at Minho with those pained eyes. In turn, Minho gives him a smile, a lovely eye smile that he rarely saw him make. But none of it comforts him – not the soothing touches, the pretty smile, the warmth of his hand – none. It only hurts him more, simply because he knew, that the moment they find out the truth.. all of these will disappear.

 

“Don’t worry about them. I’m sure things will turn out fine later.”

 

“How? Kyungsoo’s mother is doing exactly what you’ve said…a strong oppose to the relationship.” Baekhyun uses his friend’s situation as a cover up. The empathetic pain a mask to the actual pain he felt. “And they’re not even elites like you.”

 

Minho could not help but look fondly at the other. What he thought was pure understanding and worry for a friend had him admiring. The sympathy Baekhyun have for other people is truly a wonder.

 

“You know, to be simply questioned by a probable situation is still different than facing it in actuality.”

He states, wise words that made Baekhyun see and understand something far more than Minho being a simple friend older than him, but the father figure that stood by his friends the whole time.

“I can give you different answers right now, but the moment I am faced by it for real, I am not sure exactly how I’ll react.”

 

“I may be scared and runaway, leave Junmyeon and refuse to love him from the very beginning. Or I may love him but in the end, break his heart for I will not choose him but my reputation and name; that I will go along and follow my parents’ decision. Be a coward and stand behind them while Junmyeon is dragged away from me.

…or.. I may continue on, brushing past the reputation I need to uphold and let myself continue loving him despite all. That I’ll be strong and brave enough to fight whoever denies the relationship and prove to them that whatever ill-judgement they give is all not true. Tha

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exocholic
[Ubuntu] Hello! Just to let everyone know, a little update on the last chapter, it's already on the works! It looks like it's going to be a very long chapter though. So I may have to see if I'll update with what I currently have or just the whole last chapter in one go. But finally getting there! 😭

Comments

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MyLipsOnEXOs
#1
This fic is definitely the perfect one for winter. If anyone scrolls the comments they’ll see how often I reread this! At this point I would buy a physical copy of it.
Maya1990
#2
Chapter 95: When I saw in the title that it's in permanent huatus I went to the last ch to see where did it stopped and I swear to god I cried .... the pain I felt was REAL, the last 1000 words broke my heart 💔 now I want to read the whole thing knowing very well it will get me depressed
JuliaByun #3
Chapter 95: August 2023 and I still long for this story 🥹 I keep coming back because it demands my attention. I hope you’re doing great and well authornim ❤️❤️
walkinginmoonlight #4
Chapter 95: Ahh sometimes I get reminded of this fic and just how like, lovely it is? It's been years since I've last reread it, but I still remember it fondly, gosh the times when it had just started I still clearly remember. I was just reminded of aff being a thing today and had to try and remember my login.. I cannot remember if I commented on this chapter already but! Even if it's not the complete end, it's half of the end, so we've come pretty far since the beginning 😊 I know updates went from quick to rather slow, but seeing it's been awhile I got a bit worried so checked your twitter, and it's nice to see you're still doing well! Or, seemingly doing well. That you're still around and still enjoying our EXOs~❤️ so I hope you are doing well! And thank you for the very memorable fic 😊
MyLipsOnEXOs
#5
I've lost count of which rereading this is but this shall definitely always be my comfort fic. Whether it's the writing style or the details or the flow or the characters or maybe all of that together, there's just something that has me always coming back.

I read this for the first time in 2018, 5 years later it still holds a special place in my heart. I usually avoid starting new fics that haven't been updated recently, but just like my very first comment on this fic "It's on permanent hiatus but the foreword has me entranced so I will read it", the story is truly entrancing and gosh I'm grateful I read it!
Exofanland #6
Chapter 95: had to reread the last few chap bc its been so long and yes i am still crying my eyes out.
dreaming777
#7
Chapter 95: Hi there, I've left my aff account for so long an happy to see this update!!!! And truthfully I didn't expect I would still bawled my eyes out 😭
uwuness
#8
i keep coming back here just to check if authornim's have an update but no rush authornim, i can still wait :)))))) i'll reread this again because i'm missing this so much~

take care always~
uwuness
#9
i miss this so much 😭
hearteututu #10
Chapter 95: I’m back after many years and this made me cry so much. I really love this story and can still remember every scene vividly. Tysm for this wonderful and heartfelt chapter 💕