forty-nine

I am because we are (Ubuntu) [Permanent Hiatus]
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Word Count: 5197

 

 

The morning of Christmas Eve was similar to yesterday’s morning overcast with clouds; this time, however, it was thicker gray clouds that the usual radiant view of the sun was nowhere in sight. It seems it is going to be a cloudy and, most probably judging by how dark the sky is, rainy Christmas Eve this year. They can only hope it would not turn into more.

 

The first to wake up this morning is Baekhyun, who lay still on the bed hugging Eggyeol tightly as he watched the view outside. Despite it being dark and cloudy it was still beautiful to his eyes, simply because the view remains magnificent at the high above floor they are at. He had been awake for a while now but he had been afraid of moving—afraid of waking up Chanyeol, afraid of the arm around his waist to disappear, afraid of the warmth he felt to vanish. Not yet.

On the other hand, Chanyeol too has been awake for a while. Although not as early as Baekhyun, he knows he had been blankly watching the outside view for quite some time. The sky was dark enough to show their reflection on the clear glass windows, Baekhyun too preoccupied from watching that he does not notice Chanyeol’s reflection peek from behind him.

 

 

They lay still and silent for a long time; both had no intentions of getting up anytime soon choosing to bask on each other’s presence and minds swirling with similar but different thoughts.

 

Preoccupied from the beauty of the view, Baekhyun contemplates on how his life had changed since he met his friends.. since he met Chanyeol. When he goes back to how he spent the morning of Christmas Eve last year, all he remembers is waking up to a dirty ceiling shivering from the cold and a window with the golden star his grandmother gave hung and swaying lightly. All he ever remembers is spending the whole day with her at the cemetery. That was his Christmas Eve for the years previous. But now that he is with Chanyeol…

He suddenly felt like melting. The comfort of the bed beneath him, the softness of the duvet over him, the doll in his arms, and the warmth of the arm circled around his waist—an overwhelming feeling he felt like melting right into. Wondering if he never gave the friendship a chance then would there be any change or things would still remain the same; would he still wake up shivering from the cold all lonely. He sighs deeply, thankful that he did.

 

Chanyeol watches Baekhyun’s back, a view he hopes to wake up to everyday someday would become permanent. When he thought back of how he spent his Christmas Eve years previous, he remembers it being…pretty meaningless. It was not that he did not enjoy himself, no; in fact, he remembers waking up too late in the afternoon last year due to a random party he attended the night before that he barely even remembers how he spent. All Christmases after his family slowly drifted apart was when he stopped paying attention to the supposed meaningful celebration. All he is sure of is that he chose to spend those years spending time with whomever, doing whatever distracting him of his lonely longing heart. But now that he is with Baekhyun…

He hears the other sigh and soon decides that it is time to make himself known awake. Chanyeol moves his hand placing his palm over Baekhyun’s belly smoothing down his shirt, and moving his body closer to the other. He smiles when he feels Baekhyun unconsciously push back gently against him; their bodies merging when Chanyeol fully circles both his arms around Baekhyun’s waist.

 

“Morning.” Chanyeol first greets, his sleepy rough deep voice reverberating around the otherwise silent room, and kisses the back of Baekhyun’s head as another morning greeting.

 

Smiling himself, Baekhyun mumbles his own greeting. “G’morning.”

He then loosens his grip on the doll and leaves it be as he turns to face the other, smiling wider as they finally look at each other.

 

Nothing was said after; silence filled the air once again. But if their smiles could equal to words then the room would definitely be filled with noise—their smile at each other too wide that even their eyes twinkle; both feeling very, very happy.

 

 

“What are we doing today?” Baekhyun asked as he remembered once again it was Christmas Eve; feeling giddy over the thought alone. He’s spending it with someone.. with Chanyeol.

 

“Mmm…” Chanyeol hums as he twists his mouth to one side thinking of what they could possibly do—never having actually thought of making plans—a look that had Baekhyun giggling due to it being a first he has seen and its cuteness.  “I don’t know, aren’t we going to work on the boys’ gifts? Tomorrow is Christmas already.” He flicks Baekhyun’s nose playfully as he reminds him.

 

“Oh!! The gifts!”

 

Immediately, Baekhyun bolts out of bed.. at least he planned to, Chanyeol stops him by gripping his waist with both hands, pulling him back—Baekhyun squeaks as he falls against his chest at the abruptness.

 

“Ops- where are you going?”

 

Looking up Chanyeol from behind who locked him up with his arms circled tight around him, Baekhyun pouts his answer. “Gonna work on the gifts? I need to finish them as soon as possible?”

 

“Is this how you work on your projects? Straight out of bed without even having breakfast or a shower?” Chanyeol raises an eyebrow, amused and concerned of the new found habit.

 

When Baekhyun did not reply and his expression turns guilty, Chanyeol huffs in disbelief. “No wonder you’ve been stick thin lately and Junmyeon pestering about how you look like you’re not eating.” He shakes his head in disappointment.

 

“Sorry.” Baekhyun hides his face on Chanyeol’s neck, embarrassed of his unhealthy practice.

Time for him was literally precious with all the piled up works he needed to deal with, his health was the last of his priority. But instead of feeling bad, he felt oddly good—this is the first time someone has scolded him of his doings.

 

Chanyeol sighs and kisses his forehead and leaves an affectionate pat to his tummy before helping him up and out of bed.  “Take a shower and I’ll get breakfast ready. You’re not doing anything until you’ve eaten a hearty meal. I’m going to fatten you first.” He pushes Baekhyun gently towards the bathroom and leaves, once again leaving Baekhyun speechless without a choice.

 

 

 

 

♠♠♠

 

 

The gift Baekhyun suggested they give the boys’ was nothing extravagant or expensive. It was only two plain kiddie tumblers that Baekhyun said they would customize themselves. That was their gift.

At first, Chanyeol honestly found it unusual. He was so used to receiving and giving out grand gifts or if simple, still cost a price, all his life. So he thought odd of Baekhyun’s simple gift suggestion. But then again, he remembers the wonderful feeling he felt when he received his own personalized gift from him as well as his friends’ reactions when they received theirs. It was simple but the thought of the time and effort spent by the maker with the sole purpose of giving it to the person, hopeful to make them happy, was more meaningful than any expensive gift combined. At least he, and surely his friends, thought so.

 

So here he is now, without any opposition or complains, helping Baekhyun design the tumblers for Luhan and Sehun.

 

 

They were working at the living room seated on the plush red carpeted floor by the coffee table, to Chanyeol’s discomfort because of his long limbs, drawing images on the tumbler in each of their holds. While Baekhyun worked on his with ease and confidence, Chanyeol worked on his with a shaky hand and tongue sticking out his mouth in order to concentrate to be able to draw the most decent images he could with his very amateur art skills.

 

The task was nothing big or serious, all Chanyeol was instructed to do was draw whatever he thought fit of Sehun—the tumbler he was given the responsibility to design on. Unfortunately for him, his drawing skills were next to zero; only able to draw stick or sausage like figures—he tried his best.

 

 

Next to Chanyeol, Baekhyun was nearly done with his. Drawing cute cats in different positions around the tumbler as well as three different people—one little boy, one medium sized person and one tall lanky man. As he was drawing the cats, he suddenly felt a longing feeling. He knew they have been currently under the care of their lovely neighbor; the owner, Chanyeol, too busy being away from his penthouse and tending to Baekhyun’s needs to be able to care for his pets.

 

“When can I see Mimi and Foofoo again?” He asks absentmindedly still drawing images.

 

“Soon.” Chanyeol answers just as absently too focused on drawing. “I’d let you visit them today but I believe grandma is busy preparing for tonight’s eve.”

 

“Oh. Okay.”

 

Baekhyun was momentarily distracted when he heard the latter huff and turns to him. He quietly looks over to Chanyeol’s works and almost burst out laughing if he hadn’t muffled it with his hands just in time.

 

“What?” Chanyeol stops his work and narrows his eyes at Baekhyun. “I am very aware that my skills are equivalent to a five year old thank you very much.” and goes back to enhancing his poor attempt of drawing a cat that looks more like a fat snowman with triangle ears.

 

“Sorry.” Baekhyun bites his lips to keep himself from laughing. “It’s not bad…it’s very…very abstract.” He snickers low enough for Chanyeol to hear. “I’m sure Sehun would love it…maybe he’ll even think you’re some artist, like you know…Picasso?”

 

“Excuse me?!” Chanyeol bellows and about to protest but was too speechless to even think. Instead, seeing Baekhyun trying very hard to muffle his laugh, he drops his work and pounce him onto the floor tickling him at the same time. “Did you just insult my art?!”

 

Finally not able to hold it in especially after the sudden tickling sensation, Baekhyun bursts out in a fit of laughter, high pitched squeaking of voice every now and then.

“Stop stop! Chanyeol!” He tries but fails to keep Chanyeol’s hands off him. “I was joking!!~”

 

When Chanyeol stops, Baekhyun’s eyes were already tearing from the sensation and a flustered expression. He sniffs cutely as Chanyeol hovers above him but can’t help but snicker once again when he gets a peak of Chanyeol’s work on the table.

 

“Sorry can’t level with your great almighty skills.” Chanyeol narrows his eyes feigning annoyance.

 

Biting his bottom lip amidst the smile, Baekhyun pats Chanyeol’s face in a playful manner. “Don’t worry. You don’t have to level with mine. Regardless, I’m sure Sehun would love it.”

 

Baekhyun’s pretty eye smile had Chanyeol pecking his lips—one, two, three and four—eliciting giggles from the other. When he pulls away Baekhyun had on a lovely blush, adding to the already beautiful sight of his smile. He connects their foreheads, smiling as he did so; and for the next few minutes, stay as is, the comfortable silence they have come to love surrounding them.

 

It was nice, they both thought. This was the first time Baekhyun has seen Chanyeol be this playful, he has always been serious and for the first months blank, expressionless and cold. It was a nice change that caught him off guard for a few seconds; new, but nice. For Chanyeol, this was the first time since his break up that he was able to let loose and let his playful side resurface. To be able to laugh and play around, to be able to make another person laugh—it has been so long; so long he almost forgot how good it felt.

 

 

 

 

“You should call Junmyeon, he’s been worried.” Chanyeol picks up the box that held the new given phone inside and gave it to Baekhyun who was now seated by the couch alongside Eggyeol whom he brought out.

 

The box was still prettily wrapped up and this had Baekhyun remembering the events of that day—how he embarrassingly cried in front of his friends. But he also remembered the overwhelming happiness he felt, a feeling he would probably keep going back to in memory.

 

 

The last and by far the only phone Baekhyun owned last was no touchscreen, so to be presented the latest model of a touchscreen phone, Baekhyun was left clueless. He wasn’t a total gadget idiot per se, Kyungsoo’s latest gadgets gave him a clue, but he wasn’t knowledgeable enough either. He knew the basics, but as far as that goes…

 

Holding the phone in hand, half-delighted half-confused, Baekhyun stared at it. He knew how to turn it on, that was basic, but then after…

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exocholic
[Ubuntu] Hello! Just to let everyone know, a little update on the last chapter, it's already on the works! It looks like it's going to be a very long chapter though. So I may have to see if I'll update with what I currently have or just the whole last chapter in one go. But finally getting there! 😭

Comments

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MyLipsOnEXOs
#1
This fic is definitely the perfect one for winter. If anyone scrolls the comments they’ll see how often I reread this! At this point I would buy a physical copy of it.
Maya1990
#2
Chapter 95: When I saw in the title that it's in permanent huatus I went to the last ch to see where did it stopped and I swear to god I cried .... the pain I felt was REAL, the last 1000 words broke my heart 💔 now I want to read the whole thing knowing very well it will get me depressed
JuliaByun #3
Chapter 95: August 2023 and I still long for this story 🥹 I keep coming back because it demands my attention. I hope you’re doing great and well authornim ❤️❤️
walkinginmoonlight #4
Chapter 95: Ahh sometimes I get reminded of this fic and just how like, lovely it is? It's been years since I've last reread it, but I still remember it fondly, gosh the times when it had just started I still clearly remember. I was just reminded of aff being a thing today and had to try and remember my login.. I cannot remember if I commented on this chapter already but! Even if it's not the complete end, it's half of the end, so we've come pretty far since the beginning 😊 I know updates went from quick to rather slow, but seeing it's been awhile I got a bit worried so checked your twitter, and it's nice to see you're still doing well! Or, seemingly doing well. That you're still around and still enjoying our EXOs~❤️ so I hope you are doing well! And thank you for the very memorable fic 😊
MyLipsOnEXOs
#5
I've lost count of which rereading this is but this shall definitely always be my comfort fic. Whether it's the writing style or the details or the flow or the characters or maybe all of that together, there's just something that has me always coming back.

I read this for the first time in 2018, 5 years later it still holds a special place in my heart. I usually avoid starting new fics that haven't been updated recently, but just like my very first comment on this fic "It's on permanent hiatus but the foreword has me entranced so I will read it", the story is truly entrancing and gosh I'm grateful I read it!
Exofanland #6
Chapter 95: had to reread the last few chap bc its been so long and yes i am still crying my eyes out.
dreaming777
#7
Chapter 95: Hi there, I've left my aff account for so long an happy to see this update!!!! And truthfully I didn't expect I would still bawled my eyes out 😭
uwuness
#8
i keep coming back here just to check if authornim's have an update but no rush authornim, i can still wait :)))))) i'll reread this again because i'm missing this so much~

take care always~
uwuness
#9
i miss this so much 😭
hearteututu #10
Chapter 95: I’m back after many years and this made me cry so much. I really love this story and can still remember every scene vividly. Tysm for this wonderful and heartfelt chapter 💕