"Look around, Jongin."

Jongin looks up to see autumn leaves greeting him with their red, orange and yellow colors that seem to gleam in contrast with the blue sky. He always loves autumn the best among all the seasons, but he himself does not know the reason why. Perhaps it's because the change of colors that fascinates him or the fact that autumn is his mother's favorite season.

He sees Mother sits in front of her painting easel, drawing the scenery of the park on her canvas. Jongin stares at her and smiles. He realizes it has been so long since the last time he accompanied her to do her autumn routine. He approaches her and sits on the grass, enjoying the breeze under the shade of a tree.

"Are you happy, Jongin?"

"What do you mean?"

"What is happiness to you?"

Jongin just sits there in silent. Mother looks at him briefly, before she continues painting again.

"Like what I said, look around, Jongin."

Jongin stands up and look at his surroundings, before he turns to see his mother again. Something is off here, Jongin thinks. Why is it autumn already?

"Mother... why are you here?"

 

Jongin woke up with sweats all over his body. It was near 11 a.m. and the sun was already scorching through the window. He ran his fingers through his hair as he pondered why, after a long time, he dreamed about his Mother again. He took a bottle of mineral water on his bedside table and walked to the balcony, where he observed the trees and leaves in the garden. They are still green, Jongin thought, though he could not decide whether the fact that summer was still here made him happy or sad.

The day was Saturday and Jongin had initially planned to go for horseback riding practice in the morning, but his binge-watching of Game of Thrones last night lasted until nearly dawn. The plan was then scratched from the list. He went on to bathe while listening to Coldplay, as he pondered about what he would do for the rest of the day. It had been a long time since he went for a walk and took some photos with his camera. The last time he did that was in spring, when he went for an overnight trip to see cherry blossoms in Jinhae with Sehun and some other guys from high school.

Jongin was choosing a short-sleeved shirt to layer his tee when someone suddenly knocked his door and told him that his friend came over.

"Is it Sehun? Please just tell him to come here," Jongin said loudly as his eyes scanned his clothes rack.

"No, sir. It's Miss Jung Soojung."

Jongin rushed to open the door and met the housekeeper's eyes. "Did I hear that right? Soojung?"

"Yes, sir. Miss Jung Soojung. She is now with Mr. Kim at the sitting room," the confirmation confused Jongin even more.

Feeling surprised was an understatement; Jongin found himself completely baffled by the situation. He immediately walked back to the clothes rack and picked the first shirt he saw on the row. As he put on the Margiela shirt in front of the mirror, Jongin tried to remember whether Soojung had told him before that she would come over to his house. They had met several times during lunchtime this week, but he recalled that they had mostly discussed about classes and sports. Their conversation in the library last week did not mention anything about coming over either.

Jongin took a peek of the sitting room through the gaps of the stairs. There he saw Soojung sitting across his father, who seemed to be asking her about the news of her cousin getting married, though Jongin could not hear the conversation clearly. He took a deep breath and walked downstairs as he ran his fingers through his hair. Mr. Kim suddenly stood up and fixed his tie, telling Soojung that he had to leave for an appointment. Soojung stood up to bow and saw Jongin coming down. She smiled right away as their eyes met.

Mr. Kim turned around and smiled at the sight of his son. "Hey, you did not tell me that Soojung would visit today."

Jongin grinned blankly as he kept shifting his eyes between his father and Soojung. "Yeah, about that..."

"No worries. I had a good chat with her while waiting for you," Mr. Kim turned to look at Soojung, "Send my regards to your father, okay? Tell him I would call him soon."

Jongin escorted his father to the front door as he threw a quick glance at Soojung. She was sitting down and crossing her legs, probably waiting for him to return. After saying goodbye, Jongin asked a housekeeper for a cup of long black and took a chocolate macaroon from a pastry stand on the coffee table.

"So, to what do I owe the pleasure this morning?" Jongin asked Soojung cheekily and sat next to her, though he kept the distance between them rather wide.

"It's nearly twelve, for God's sake," Soojung rolled her eyes, but her expression quickly softened, "Sorry, I thought of giving you a call before I came over, but I just forgot about it. Did I catch you at a bad time? "

"Ah, don't sweat it. It's fine," Jongin folded his feet and put them up on the couch, "So, why did you come here?"

"I went to pick up my tennis jacket this morning and the designer lives near this area, so," Soojung d into her Chloé shoulder bag and took out a book, "I decided to drop by your house to give you this."

Jongin held out his hand and took it from hers. "The Prophet?"

"Remember when you told me that you wanted to try reading poetry?" she asked.

He recalled their conversation in the library. "Ah, yes. So, is this your favorite book?"

"One of my favorites," Soojung said, "You mentioned Kahlil Gibran last week, so I thought you might like this."

"I've only heard about him, but I never read any of his work," Jongin skimmed through the first pages of the book before he looked at her, "Thanks for this, Soojung."

"Nevermind, just make sure that you finish it," she sipped her tea.

"I will," Jongin said as he leaned his head to the couch, "You know you could just give the book to me at school, right?"

"Why? You don't like me coming here?" she asked with inquiring eyes.

"No, no, that's not what I mean," startled, Jongin shook his head while making random hand gestures, "Don't get me wrong—I like having you here, but... well, no buts, but... you know—"

"I get it," Soojung eyed Jongin playfully as she broke into a laughter, "I was just teasing you."

Jongin stared at her with his mouth agape in disbelief. "You seem to be enjoying this a little bit too much, don't you?"

"I do. It's nice seeing you losing your cool," she said, grinning from ear to ear.

Jongin chuckled at her words. He looked up when the housekeeper came with a tray and put a mug of Jongin's long black on the table. She asked whether Jongin wanted the cook to start preparing the meal since it was already lunch time.

He took the mug and sip his coffee before turning to Soojung. "Are you going somewhere after this?"

Soojung tucked a strand of her hair behind her right ear. "Well, I don't have any plan. Probably just return home."

Jongin gave it a thought for a while and looked at Soojung. "Do you want to have lunch here and go out with me later?"

"Where to?"

"Just for a walk, really. I want to take photos out there," Jongin told her.

She blinked for several times before she gave him a nod. "Okay, I can do that."

"Cool," Jongin said. He told the housekeeper to prepare the lunch and got up from his seat. "I am going to pack my things. You want to come upstairs?"

"Sure," she got up and took her bag with her.

Jongin led the way to his room and Soojung just followed behind. He told Soojung to do what she liked as he prepared his things. She sat on the couch and the TV, but she could not find what she liked. After a while, she joined Jongin in the study room and stood in front of the wall of Jongin's photo collages. Jongin stole a glance at Soojung as he packed his camera and film rolls into his Tom Ford backpack, noticing that her eyes kept coming back to the photo of the lake.

 

[][][][]

 

"Are we playing tourists?"

Jongin just smiled at Soojung remarks. He adjusted the strap of his Leica on his neck and turned to her. "Have you been here before?"

She shook her head, staring at a mural depicting wings in front of her. "Have you?"

"I have, but it's been years," Jongin signaled Soojung with his head to start walking, "I heard that some artists painted dozens of new murals here last year. I want to see them."

Soojung covered her eyes from the sun with her hands and closed her distance with Jongin. They walked uphill, passing by a series of murals on the walls and little stores along the way. There were some foreign tourists in the area that day, most of them were busy taking photos with large murals on the walls. Soojung noticed that Jongin only used his camera occasionally, mostly to capture little details that many people would have missed, such as small paintings on the crack of a wall, little sunflowers near the door of a cafe, a baby panda hidden behind the vines.

Jongin stopped at a corner after they ascended a staircase painted with flowers. He took the picture of the sky and the scenery of the village from above, before he asked Soojung to look at a mural behind her. It was a wall full of messages written in various colors. The title of the art piece is "Before I Die".

"Is this like a collection of people's thoughts over what they want to do before they die?" Soojung's eyes widened.

"I suppose so," Jongin said, stepping closer to the wall, "I think passersby can add their own thoughts here... look, someone said 'Graduate from Harvard'. Such an ambition."

Soojung scanned the wall and pointed at a sentence written in pink. "Look at this one, 'Adopt 10 dogs'. What a cutie."

Jongin pursed his lips as he looked through the messages. He turned to look at Soojung, who was crouching down next to him while reading the messages written on the lower part of the wall.

"Soojung," Jongin crouched down next to her, "What do you want to do before you die?"

"Uhm... I never thought about that," she pondered. "You? Any idea?"

"I want to live by the sea, where it is quiet," Jongin eyed Soojung knowingly, "where there are no companies to inherit."

Soojung chuckled. "You just explained the dream of half of our school's students there."

Jongin got back on his feet and held out his hand to Soojung, offering to help her stand up. She took his hand, slightly pulling it to get her feet firm on the ground. Soojung thanked him as she adjusted her Givenchy oversized jeans. They started walking again while keeping a casual conversation, this time towards the Naksan Park since she wanted to see the panoramic view of the city from the top. Jongin joked that Seoul's skyline might look better from the top of Jung's company headquarters in Gangnam, to which Soojung replied with a sneer.

They found an empty bench under a maple tree where they can look down on the streets of Daehangno. Jongin put his backpack on the bench and told Soojung he would go to buy them some drinks. She leaned her back against the wooden chair and put on her earphones, listening to city pop music while staring at the rows of buildings under the hill. It's so close, yet so far away, she said to herself. Soojung quickly noticed that her thought referred to both the scenery below her as well as her own general take on life.

For Soojung and her friends — the sons and daughters of the wealthiest 1 percent of the world's population — almost everything is within their grasp. Need a break? Just go to your summer house in the Hamptons. Need a new phone? Relax, Apple will deliver the newest one straight to your door after they launch it. Want to buy the latest Chanel bag? A personal shopper will come to your house with a catalog for you to choose. On top of that, you are guaranteed to a lifetime ownership of unlimited black credit card, shares in top corporations under your own name, and high-ranking positions in your family's company once you graduated.

But the throne, of course, came with a price.

Can you date? Yes, but it might be frowned upon if your partner's last name does not ring a bell for your parents. Can you rebel against your family? Your father might just send you to live abroad, which is the same as telling you to get your act together. Can you chase your own dream? Well, here is the thing: you may have all the money in the world and freedom to do what you want, but all of them comes second; the first is the duty to protect the family's business empire, the path that has been laid out for you since your birth.

Everything is so close, yet so far away. Soojung took a deep breath and sighed heavily.

She looked to her right and—clicked! Jongin was standing there, taking her picture with a camera on his right hand.

"Yah, why are you taking my photo?" Soojung tucked her hair behind her ear, "I thought you don't like capturing people."

"I just can't help it," Jongin shrugged and smirked.

He handed her a cup of matcha einspänner and sat next to her, eyeing Soojung's earphones while sipping his cafe latte. "What are you listening to?"

Soojung took off her left earphone and handed it to him. He put in on his ear. "Ah, Plastic Love. I like this song."

They shared silence for a couple of minutes, each immersed in their own thoughts as they stared at the horizon. The shade of the maple tree engulfed them from the sun, which started to disappear behind the clouds. The summer wind gently breezed, drying the sweats on their foreheads.

"Do you think it's possible?" she suddenly asked him. Her eyes met his inquiring look. "That dream of yours—living by the sea."

He gave it a thought for a while. "Well, it's not as impossible as wanting to see my mother again, is it?"

Soojung's face went blank. She opened slightly, but couldn't seem to find a word to reply to his blunt yet delicate remarks.

Jongin nudged her arm with a knowing look. "I startled you, didn't I?"

She just nodded, clasping her fingers on her lap. "Sorry, I just don't know how to respond to that."

"Don't be," Jongin paused, smiling faintly. He stared down at his Air Jordan before he looked up, staring at something beyond his sight. "I had a dream about my mother last night."

Soojung tilted her head as if telling him that she was listening.

"She was painting and I was sitting on the grass next to her. Suddenly she asked me, 'Are you happy?', 'What is happiness to you?'," he turned his head to her direction, "And then I woke up."

Seeing Soojung stayed silent, he continued, "I still don't know why I dreamed about that."

"Well, anything can happen in your dream," Soojung looked up, her eyes flickered, "I once had a dream that I was a ballerina. In reality, I can't even do a split."

Jongin chuckled. He suddenly imagined Soojung in a white leotard—and quickly shook his head to wipe it away from his mind.

"If I asked you those questions, what would your answer be?"

Soojung hummed, pursing her lips as she thought of her response.

"For me... I find happiness in little things. Like singing along to my favorite songs, watching Youtube videos, eating good food," she paused to raise her coffee cup, "drinking matcha—they make me happy. Just the little things, really."

Jongin leaned the back of his head against the bench, looking at the clouds. "That's a good approach to feel happy."

"I try to keep it simple. I mean, look around you now," Soojung scanned her surroundings, "What is there not to be happy about?"

Look around, Jongin. Look around.

He recalled his mother's words in his dream as he moved his eyes, observing the things around him; the green grass below his feet, the scenery of the city, the blue sky above his head, the almost-empty coffee cup on his hand, and the girl sitting next to him who was humming to Tatsuro Yamaa's song. Jongin smiled to himself, wondering that maybe what he was looking for was already near him after all — if only he would look around.

 

[][][][]

 

They walked back to Jongin's car parked in front of the Naksan Gallery after the sky suddenly turned gloomy, like it was about to rain. Jongin led the way as they walked down the stairs in silence. The two reached the parking lot when it started to drizzle and they both hurried to get inside the car. Soojung wanted to call his driver to pick her up, but Jongin insisted that he would take her home since he was the one who asked her out.

Soojung asked whether they could listen to her playlist in the car, to which Jongin replied with a nod. He put on his seatbelt and told Soojung to put hers before leaving the parking lot towards the city area. It was around 5 p.m. and the streets were already lively with people who were eager to spend their Saturday night. Jongin asked whether Soojung wanted to take a bite before going home, but she said she was not hungry yet, so he just stepped on the gas towards Hannam-dong.

Two security guards came closer when Jongin's car reached the gate of the Jung's residence. Jongin lowered the car's window, but he did not get to say anything since Soojung already leaned closer, showing her face to the guards. They rushed to open the gate and Jongin thanked them before strolling through the small road that led towards the main door of the house.

Jongin parked the car near the entrance. He took off his hands from the steering wheel and turned to Soojung. "Nice house."

"Haven't you been here before?" Soojung asked as she sorted her things inside her bag.

"Have I?" he asked back, frowning, "Sorry, sometimes I am not good at remembering places I've visited."

"Well, another reason to be grateful of your cameras, then," she tilted her head, slightly smiling, "Anyway, I really had fun today. Thanks for driving me home."

"Ah, don't mention it," he said, "I am the one who should be thanking you."

Soojung slung her bag's handles on her right shoulder and froze, pondering about something.

She cleared . "Do you want to have dinner before you go?"

Jongin blinked several times at the question, not expecting it. He shook his head lightly. "Thanks, but maybe next time."

She nodded and opened the door's handle. Her left foot already stepped on the stone tiles of her yard when Jongin suddenly mumbled that he forgot something. She turned around and found Jongin opening the zipper of his backpack.

"Here, for you," Jongin took out a blue envelop from inside the bag and handed it to her, "A thank you gift for keeping me company today."

Soojung knitted her brows in confusion, but managed to thank Jongin for the surprise. She opened the envelop and looked inside it, holding her breath when she realized what it was; the photograph of lake reflection that Jongin took in Salzburg.

"Are you serious?" Soojung's face brightened as she looked at Jongin, a hint of excitement rising in her voice, "Why?"

"I noticed that you like it so much. So I want you to have that," Jongin said with a smile.

Soojung looked back and forth between the photo and Jongin's face that somehow seemed so gentle that afternoon. She took a long look at the photo before holding it in front of her chest and grinned at him. "Really, thanks so much for this."

Jongin couldn't help grinning from ear to ear as he saw her beaming with pleasure. He never expected her to have that reaction, smiling as if she was winning a lottery against all odds.

His attention shifted when he noticed a woman dressed in housekeeper attire peeking at the car from the main entrance. Jongin eyed Soojung for a while before he told her that she should go inside.

"So I'll see you at school?" Soojung said as she stepped out of his car.

"I'll see you Monday," Jongin said. He opened the window after Soojung closed the door. "Bye, Soojung."

"Bye."

She stared at the Cadillac until it disappeared behind the gate.

Author's note:

Hi, everyone. Some of you might have noticed that I finally updated this story after more than six years. I just re-read the story again last week and I suddenly thought that I could continue working on this. After nearly a week, I must say that I've enjoyed the process of writing this chapter. I also edited the first four chapters, mostly fixing the quotes and the grammars, so I hope you would read this story through since the first chapter again.

I do hope to continue writing this story. It's been a pleasure to revisit this work and to slowly feel my sentiment towards kaistal couple returned again, like how I felt it years ago. So please do subscribe, upvote, and give comments, so that I know that many still want to read kaistal fanfiction and that the ship is still sailing, after all.

Thanks! hope everyone stay safe and healthy! xx