Knowing the TruthYou are my Everything
After school I went home because I knew that Jinam didn't want to see me or even talk to me. I don't want to bother her anymore. I don't know what I did wrong now, but whatever I guess. When I got home it was quite. I don't know why, but it was. I would think that Minnie Hyung and Tae Hyung would be home but I guess not. Oh well I'll tell them later that I'm going to the dance studio.
I'm on my way to the dance studio. It's now 6 and Jinam hasn't come home yet. I guess I'll see her there. While I was walking there I get a message from BamBam and Yugyeom that they will be in the dance studio. That means they are going to see Jinam first. Oh well that's fine I guess I mean she already met Yugyeom.
As I was walking in I walked to the dance room that we usually practice at. I looked in and the lights were off and no one was in there. I walked around the studio and heard a familiar song and walked towards the music. I looked into this dance room and saw them. As Jinam was walking out she bumped into me. She looked at me and blushed a little and just walked away. What's going on? What did they talk to her about? I have never seen her that way towards me.
"Nammie wait," I called out to her.
Yugyeom came out, "It's fine we met her and we know something"
"Yeah~," BamBam sang. He annoys me sometimes.
"Ummm I guess," I walked into the dance room just forgetting about it.
After a few hours of dancing with them I decided to leave. I was getting tired and didn't want to stay to late. I have been here for only an hour and a half and a lot has been on my mind. I can't really do anything to get my mind off of it. I said good bye to them and got my things.
"We'll text you later," BamBam smiled.
"Ok bye fags," I waved at them and left.
"Bye idiot," BamBam and Yugyeom said at the same time. I smiled and left the dance studio.
I'm walking home with earphones in listening to whatever. I just can't get that out of my head. Jinam was so mad at me earlier. I seriously did something wrong I'm going crazy. Her words just repeat in my mind over and over and over again.
"Accept what? That girls are all over you? That you get all this attention? I really hate that and you know it"
"Nothing just leave me alone"
I'm going crazy. What if she never wants to see and talk to me ever again. I don't know if I can live with that all my life. I can't deal with it at all. I don't know what to do. I need to talk to Namjoon Hyung when I get home.
When I got home everyone was walking down stairs. Did they know I was coming home? I didn't tell anyone I was on my way home. I looked at everyone and my eyes meet Jinam's. I can tell she sighed and just walked away from all of us. I really did up this time. I sighed and just looked down. I don't know what to do anymore. I just followed everyone and sat at the kitchen table.
"Ok let's eat," Hoseok Hyung smiled.
"Ah, Kook I need to talk to you after this," Namjoon Hyung said before eating.
We all ate together and everyone except Jinam talked. I looked at her, but she never looked at me. I guess this is just how it is. I mean that's what I get right. I can tell that Jinam was just listening to us as we were talking to each other happily like usual. I guess nothing will change. She's just so upset at me that even now she isn't over it. *sigh* I wonder what Monnie Hyung wants to talk about.
After Dinner and Cleaning up:
I walked to my room with all my things with me. I could hear footsteps behind me I turned around and looked at Namjoon Hyung. He smiled at me and we just kept walking. As we got into my room Namjoon took out his phone and gave it to me.
"Here listen to this. You're lucky we got this on recording," Namjoon smiled.
I looked at the phone and notice it was just a door. I was confused but I listened to it anyways.
"How are you feeling Nammie?" It sounds like Jin Hyung is talking.
"Umm good," I heard Nammie's voice. What is this?
"Tell me the truth," He's trying to get it out of her.
"Well....I guess I'm starting to have feelings for Jungkook," wait what did she just say? Is that really her? It can't be her.
"Ah~" Does Jin Hyung know my feelings? Wait he does huh?
"And today we ate inside for the first time. It was so annoying, all the girls came and they were loud and everything. I gave Jungkook a look and he made them go away, but still he knows that I don't like the attention and lately he has been getting a lot of that attention by all the girls and it's just bothering me so much. I guess you can say I'm jealous because I hate being around Jungkook when all the girls are always around him. He's suppose to be watching over me, but I feel like I'm watching over him. He treats me like how he treats all the other girls and I just want to be at least somewhat different to him. I don't want to just blend in with all the other girls. Soon he won't even notice me then what am I suppose to do? I'm doing my all to not be mad but today got me really mad because he asked me why couldn't I just accept it, but what am I accepting? That all the girls are always around him and he has the attention of all the girls? What am I suppose to do? I have no where else to go if people start knowing where Jungkook is. Then I met one of his friends at school in the dance room. As I walked out I saw Jungkook standing there. All I could think was why he was there and why he didn't say anything to me. I really don't get him I don't understand why he's acting this way. He got really defensive and asked me what was wrong with him. He couldn't even stop me and talk to me he just let me walk away. I'm just so irritated I really don't know anymore." I heard her sigh.
I gave Namjoon Hyung back his phone. I looked down and sighed.
"So Kook what do you think," He looked at me then his phone.
"This is what I did wrong. I went the rest of the day going crazy because she was mad at me and I don't know what to do. I don't give her enough of my attention. I don't want her to feel that way. She is so much more than all the other girls. She is not the same like them. I didn't mean to make her feel that way. And I know a lot of girls has been around me so much. I just don't know what to do with it. I can't really stop them, but I should try more. I need to make her happy not sad like this. I know it kills her that this always happens because whenever it does she's never around. I don't want her to feel like the other girls because she is so much more than them. I really just have to work on myself more to make her feel important. Because she is important to me more than anything else." I just sigh. I'm so stupid. I can't believe she felt that way towards me. Now I know better.
"Well when will you tell her? Or actually when will you ask her to be your girlfriend?"
"I need to do it soon," I sighed.
"You better before she begins to doubt herself and just gives up on you," Namjoon smiled and walked out of my room.
I sighed and looked towards the door. There was Jimin Hyung. what do I do? He gave me permission right? I'm pretty sure I remember he did. What does he want to talk about.
"Hey Kook. I just wanted to talk to you about Nammie," He smiled. .
"Ne," I tried to look at him.
"I just want you to know that you have to ask her soon. I also need you to protect her more. She is strong and I know it but I just need her to know that you care and that you are there for her. Nammie is finally started to understand her feelings so cherrish her as much as you can and make every moment with her count. Please Kook I'm putting her in your hands now," Jimin Hyung smiled.
I haven't see this smile in so long. It's been a while since I saw this smile of his. This smile that's giving me permission to take care of his sister with all the love I can give her. He really trust me. I can't let Hyung down. Especially since it's his sister.
"Ne Hyung," I smiled back at him.
"Thank you Kook," He smiled and walked out.
They left me in my room. I sighed. This is crazy. It's the year I said I was going to confess to her. Now I really need to do it. I'm still a little shock that she said she likes me. Things were just meant to happen. Things are going the way I asked for it to. I prayed so hard for this to come true thank you for letting fate do it's job so nicely.