"I'm sorry L. Joe. I was being stupid for accepting you. Completely stupid." I looked at him with an honest look in my eyes. I can't believe I was playing with him. I'm even worse than Kikwang.

"So we're just going to end it? Like this? We barely started dating!" He had a look of frustration in his eyes, and I knew that he was upset. Very.

I grabbed at both of his hands and held them tightly. "You don't have to forgive me, but I don't think I can't do this. I just don't feel right dating you if the feeling isn't mutual."

He clenched his fists and look down. His eyebrows were furrowed downwards in an angular motion. It was the first time I've ever seen him like this, and yes. I do feel bad that I made him this way. 

But I just had to do it.

My heart started to act up, acting as if it was pierced with a knife or a sharp item of some sort. It was like some evil force ripped the poor thing into two and stomped on it multiple times afterwards. I didn't like the feeling one bit.

"L. Joe, I'm really sor-"

"Just stop Soo Yun. Stop it." His breathing started to turn haggard. "I'll just... see you around. I guess."

He didn't give me time to speak, turning his back towards me and walking away in the opposite direction. His back was hunched, and I just couldn't help but want to follow after him. He just looked so lonely right now, and I think it was pity, but you never know.

I took a step in his direction, but that was as far as I could go. An unknown hand grabbed my wrist, disabling me from moving any further. I swiftly turned, only to find that Kikwang was the owner of the mysterious hand.

"Kikwang! Let go."

He shook his head and planted his feet firmly one the ground.

"No, I'm not letting you chase after him."

I urged him to let go, tugging at my arm every now and then. By the time he did let go of my arm, L. Joe was already far out of sight. A look of disappointment crossed over my face, realizing how I could have lost an important person in my life. My eyes started getting watery at the thought, and I regretted every minute of it.

I should have let it out in an even more gentle manner, instead of even bothering to call the kiss boring. Curse my rude tongue. I've gotten too used to making fun of Kikwang.

Which reminds me.

It's all his fault! Everything is his fault.

"Soo Yun, it was for your own good. He would still be mad at you, even if you did go after him," he tried reasoning with me, but I didn't even try to look into the light of things. 

I was fuming, you could say.

"Don't talk to me Kikwang. I want to be alone for now."

----------------------------------------------

The past two weeks have been tough, partly because I was being an annoying little zit ignoring Kikwang no matter how many times he tried to talk to me. It's not like I don't want to talk to him, it's that I'm afraid of what would happen if I did talk to him.

L. Joe's out of the question, and my heart's been acting up again ever since he made that "confession" from back then. It hasn't been like this since way back when we first started seeing each other. Before I tried "playing" him and started all this drama in the first place.

If I did talk to him now and let my heart go to him, would he even accept it as of now? I can imagine how annoyed he would be, since he's not even talking to me anymore.

The both of us have been emotionally and physically stressed out.

Our parents did it once again, pushing the wedding date to three days from now. But I can actually understand why they want to hurry it so fast. Our company's just a little low on how much money we should be making, since these days, the economy's pretty low. 

Nobody ever really has the budget to get our new gadgets anymore. Well, only when they're on sale can they buy it.

My personal driver has been taking me around from wedding shop to wedding shop, along with the wedding coordinator who's basically doing everything. And surprisingly, he's a guy. I think he's gay, just saying.

So even if I did end up having the courage to talk to Kikwang, it's not like I'd ever have the time to since we're both on our own separate journey finding the perfect "wedding attire." I don't even know why he's trying so hard to look good since a tux is just a tux. There's no major difference unless you're wearing one with a stupid color like hot pink.

The only good thing that's happened was with L. Joe. We made up, you could say. Well, he probably only forgave me because after I got home, I took the time to text him nonstop. I sent about 1,520 messages with the line "talk to me god dammit", but I had to stop because his inbox ended up becoming too full. Then I switched to calling him, making about 364 calls before he picked up the line in annoyance.

He even agreed to coming to the wedding, surprisingly.

I collapsed on the velvet couch in the living room, my arms and legs spread wide open. The next thing I know, Kikwang's walking in with a nonchalant face on him. One that would perfectly fit such a stubborn man.

"Kikwang!" I yelled out, but instead, he just ignored my call.

"KIKWANG!" I yelled even louder than last time.

"LEE KIKWANG!"

"OH MY GOD SHUT UP YOU GOD DAMN MIDGET."

He ran out and covered my mouth with his sweaty hands. Usually I'd be cringing, but this time, a smile crept upon my face. He actually talked to me. He talked to me!

Although, like always, my mouth just had to ruin everything.

"Hey Kikwang."

"What is it. Are you going to scream my name out again? Are you going to call me a bastard, , Dumbkwang, or any of your other offensive na-"

I shut him up there. Not with my own mouth, but with the touch of my lips.

And I felt something special this time around.

ONE MORE UPDATE.

JUST ONE MORE UPDATE.

I promised myself I'd finish this damn story before it becomes a year old.