We held our hands as Sato walked me back to Dylan’s house. It was not that late but I’m just thinking for his safety. He might be fired if the company or the fans found out he is dating. I can’t control the happiness inside me, to have Sato really at my side. Sadly, he has to go back to Tokyo for his work tomorrow.

“Thanks for the walk.” I said as I pulled my hand. Sato put his hands into his pockets and smiled at me.

“Not a problem but I really wish you would come back to our school and have the same days like we always have.” He said.

“You know we can’t. Don’t expect too much, Sato. If Riyuu finds out, he might move me out of this country forever.” I sighed.

“I know. I just have to persuade him more so that he would accept our relationship. Actually, he didn’t know that I’m coming here. Other members are trying not to have any encounter with Haru senpai (senior)” Said Sato.

“You are going to school tomorrow? Which school?” He asked, changing the topic.

“Takanabe, together with Dylan.” I replied. Sato nodded and I heard aunty’s voice from the living hall. I should go now before they find out Sato is in front of their house.

“I need to go now. See you later.” I said and waved at him. He waved me back and I closed the door gate behind me. Not almost a month, we already make up the relationship. This is what I want. I don’t want any misunderstandings between us and live happily.

I know it is hard to have a special tie with an idol but I can’t just hurt myself and Sato is already hurt enough. I walked into the garden and found Dylan was having his back leaning at the window. What is he up to?

“I’m back.” I started, putting off my shoes and placed them into the rack.

“Oh come in! Let us have tea together.” Dylan’s mom approached me at the door. I replied her with a smile. Dylan’s dad was there and he hasn’t change into a casual outfit from his yukata. And Dylan is still in his room.

“I’ll have some.” I said and followed her to the living room. The tea is already served. I quickly finish the tea and told them I’m about to get into bed already. They let me go and I climbed the stairs but then my eyes caught Dylan’s room ajar.

I peeked in and found he was still leaning at the window while hands crossed at his chest. His one hand is his biceps. I gave a knock and he turned to me.

“May I come in?”

“Em..”

“Wow. Your room is cozy at night.”

“I saw you went somewhere just now..” Suddenly he speaks.

“Urm..”

“With that Sato Shori.” Dylan said again. Oh snap… I’m caught. I thought he wouldn’t realise Sato. “And looks like you have said a yes to him.”

“A yes?”

“Yes to his proposal. To be his girlfriend.”

I can’t explain how he knows that I just accepted. Actually, Sato didn’t ask me out but our movements explained everything so I guess it is a yes to his words?

“I thought you hated him. And I’m hurt….. For the first time.”

Eh? What does he mean? Dylan walked to me as I tilted my head to reach his eye. I froze and I feel my leg tangled with his furry carpet. Suddenly, he slung his arms and hugged me tightly. I barely catch any breath. It was too tight. I patted his back, signaling him to release me.

“Let…Me…Go….” I huffed.

“No.” He said, losing a little for me to breathe. “You know why I was hurt so much?”

He started. I don’t expect anything much but he is acting strange. I thought this is only a friendly-cousin hug but I’m still in an awkward status. I couldn’t move in his tight embrace and though I can’t free myself out. I’m froze at my own spot.

“Because for the first time I met you, I can’t stop watching you. Something about you attracts me to know you more.” He said and his chin resting on my shoulder; nuzzling in my hair.

“We are cousins. Of course we will know each other more” He pushed me and held my shoulders with both of his hands. His brown eyes gazed into me and he meant more…

“Not as a cousin. I don’t want you to take me as an only cousin. I demand more…” His gaze intense.

“What do you mean? We are cousins and what do you want me to be for you?” I asked and suddenly he leaned in and our face is close to each other. He glanced down from my eyes, to my nose and to my lips.

No….

I turned my face away and he stopped in mid-air. I can’t do this. I don’t want to ruin our relationship as a family member and we shouldn’t get married among families. It is just.. Not correct. “You like him so much? I don’t know why you are so attached to Shori. I don’t find a good reason so that I can accept the fact I have been rejected.” He said. He released my shoulders and left his room, slamming the door behind him making me startled at his anger.

I went back to my room and threw myself on the bed, glancing at the plain ceiling. Not long ago, I hurt Sato’s feelings, I hurt mine and now I just did something to make Dylan feels upset. I don’t intend to make him fall for me because we are cousins. I covered my eyes with my arm and suddenly my cellphone vibrated in my pocket. It was from Sato..

“Hello?” I started after I pick up his call.

“Hey, I just want to check out if you are safely arrived.”

“You sent me until my house. Of course I’m fine.”

“Can we meet after school? You are attending Takanabe’s right? I found the direction to that school already and also a good place for us to hang out.” He said. He sounds excited and I’m excited too but I have a serious matter to handle now. I just crashed someone’s wall. I need to fix it back before he is broken.

“Risa?” His voice pulled me back into reality.

“Yes. Yes, I’m here.” I said.

“What is it? You sound restless.” He asked. Oh no.. I cannot tell him.

“No. I’m just tired. So, we meet again tomorrow? You will come over to my school?”

“Yes. I’ll come and fetch you up. Goodnight Risa, I missed you.” He said. I can hear he’s smiling in his voice at the other line and my lips curved a little smile.

“See you tomorrow.” I said and hung up the call. Suddenly I heard a loud scramble from the living hall. I rushed down the stairs followed by my aunt and uncle—tightening their robes as they jogged down the stairs.

I saw Dylan was walking up from underground floor and looked drunk. His nose is pink and he is fighting to have his eyes open wide as he dragged his feet on the floor and his one hand held the railing tightly for a support.

“Dylan!” Aunty screamed. I rushed to him and put his arm around my shoulders. He smells bad. He must have drink a lot. I glanced at him, he looked down and his fringe is almost covering his eyes. He is….damn heavy. I almost stumble but I quickly balance my weight with his’.

“Dylan, what is wrong with you? You have been drinking at the wine cellar?” His dad asked.

“Hee… It was nice and co-old down thar…” He spurred.

“You shouldn’t be drinking!” His mom shrieked. He didn’t respond. He tilted his head and gazed his brown eyes deep in mine. His eyes seem trying to send me some messages. He is telling me…. He’s hurt.

“Oh? Risa? Heh heh” He choke. “You are still he-re? I thought you have went out for a date with Sato Shori. How.. Cou-uld you do that to me..”

“Dylan.. What are you talking about?” His dad asked. Aunt doesn’t speak as her eyes were watching the scene impassively.

“I’m hurt, Risa. I’m so disappointed in myself.” Dylan said, placing his one free hand on his chest, pointing at himself with his eyes miserably. “Why can’t I knock into your heart? For the first time I ever fall in love with a girl. I wished you were not my cousin for the first time I saw you. You just broke into my heart and left my walls a hole without having it repair again and then you left the room with a hole in it. How could you?”

What is this? He likes me in a wrong way. No, Dylan. You can’t. We can’t. I can’t. I turned to his parents and their reactions was indescribably shocked; confused. “You are drunk, Dylan. I’ll help you get to bed.” I said and we walked up the stairs. His parents watched us away without leaving their eyes on us for a second. This is bad. What should I do?