• “You know me. I don’t follow the directions.”
• “Who I like shouldn’t matter to you.”
• “If it’s venomous, maybe you shouldn’t go right up to it.”
• “Don’t talk to the monsters in your house. They’re not friendly.”
• “My headache always gets so much worse when you’re around.”
• “I’m not a safe person to hang around.”
• “If you were in my position, you’d resort to murder too.”
• “I gave you my life and this is how you repay me? By dancing on my grave?”
• “From the start, you knew you couldn’t trust me.”
• “I wanted you to be there for me." 
• "It’s only the eighth day into this month and you’re giving me more problems.”
• “Don’t make me hold your child. Please. Wait, stop-" 
• "Lately, it’s started to seem like you couldn’t care any less.”
• “I think I could learn something from you.”
• “You looked me in the eyes and leaned in and then you burped.”
• “If you’re looking to enchant me, you’re going about it all wrong.”
• “I’m just about as normal as you are and well, that’s not very.”
• “Fun fact; I never stopped liking you.”
• “I can’t believe you would just eat something off the floor.”
• “Have you looked in the mirror? You take my breath away.”
• “I’m not sure you’re supposed to fall in love with a monster.”
• “They should stop making these chapstick flavors so realistic.”
• “When was the last time you cleaned you went on an adventure?”
• “I am your biggest fan. Your only fan.”
• “I might not understand everything you say, but that doens’t mean I don’t wanna hear you anyway.”
• “I wonder if this is flammable?”
• “The last time someone wouldn’t stop talking, I shoved my fist into their mouth.”
• “I am entirely weak for you.”
• “I can’t see how any of this is going to go wrong in any conceivable way.”
• “Only time will be able to tell us.”
• “You think I would be able to handle this by myself?”
• “When they don’t want to talk to anyone, they put their headphones over their ears. Didn’t you notice?”
• “I can’t believe you’re making me watch this.”
• “If your child flings across the room, you’re cleaning it.”
• “I can’t tell when you’re being serious with me.”
• “It’s gotten to the point where we just know what we’re thinking.”
• “You’re ice and I’m fire. Of course we wouldn’t get along.”
• “You’re the one who walked out of my life all those years ago.”
• “You don’t get to decide what I do with my life.”
• “That wouldn’t apply to a monster.”
• “I should hope you had a good time with me." 
• "If I knew your hand was this soft, I would have asked to hold it more often.”
• “I’m waiting for it to sink in that you’re here and alive with me." 
• "You met me in a dream once.”
• “One day your luck will run out.”
• “There’s not nearly enough food in here for me to deal with you right now.”
• “I don’t think you should pick up random magical creatures to bring home." 
• "I didn’t want you think I was a jerk." 
• "I have you to thank for all the terrible times I’ve ever had.”
• “You can’t even imagine all the enemies I have made.”
• “I would be more inclined to listen to you if you lied a little bit less.”
• “You had so much time to prepare for this and here you are, struggling to get socks on.”
• “You wouldn’t believe what I’ve had to put up with today.”
• “No one understands the kind of mess heroes leave behind and guess who gets to clean it?”
• “I’d lend you a hand, but mine has mysteriously wandered off.”
• “I’m thankful that you’re not out to murder me instead.”
• “I dedicated a whole two minutes to you. So ungrateful.”
• “This ring won’t fit just anyone.”
• “We value your opinion just as much as we care about you. Which is to say; not at all.”
• “As a delivery person, I can say it is just as embarrassing when we get the wrong house as it is for you to get a questionable package.”
• “There’s no point in liking me back anymore. I’m devoted to the person I’m with." 
• "Funnily enough, I don’t really care for listening about your problems all that much.”
• “I would hope you’d trust me to be honest about my feelings." 
• "Don’t ask me how I got my arm stuck in the vending machine. I just wanted a snack.”
• “I’m a roll tonight and nothing can stop me.”
• “It is entirely possible that I have just jinxed myself.”
• “It’s like living your life with the feeling of deja vu hanging over your head constantly.”
• “I didn’t think it was possible for you to ruin my favorite movie and yet here we are.”
• “Your lips on my lips. Yes, no?”
• “Of all the questionable things I’ve seen you eat, this has to be the worst.”
• “It’s official. This is the worst day of my life.”
• “If I’m going down, I’m taking you with me.”
• “You have to stop being a coward some day.”
• “I’m the least reasonable adult you’ll ever meet.”
• “I don’t know why I felt the impulse to buy all of these, but I did.”
• “You ask a lot of questions that I don’t have the answers to.”
• “Life is way too short for you to be this serious over something like this.”
• “Give it a bit of time and I’m sure it’ll pass.”
• “Can you run a little less like ‘my grandparent is coming to beat us with their cane’ and a little more like 'whatever that is behind us is going to eat us alive’?”
• “I don’t know where your sense of humor went, but I want you to find it as soon as possible.”
• “I guess it was wishful thinking that you would come back.”
• “A little late than never is better, right?”
• “Everyone calls you the fun er behind your back.”
• “I look like a hardened criminal, but I swear, I just want to make it to work on time.”
• “Your excuses are losing their edge. Step it up.”
• “I’m pretty sure you were the one screaming.”
• “I’m surprised your disguise is actually working.”
• “I think I’ve gotten up to enough trouble for the day.”
• “Consider this the one good deed of my life.”
• “I feel like I’ve practiced for nothing.”
• “Someone looks like they need a nice and long hug with a side of comfort.”
• “It’s not what I ordered, but I guess I’ll take it.”
• “The last thing I want to do is cause anyone trouble.”
• “You found me laying face down in the snow. It’s about the best kind of meeting you can get.”
• “I’d invite you over, but my roommate pretty much hates you.”
• “I can’t believe would dare say that to my face.”
• “Out of all the unnatural pets you could own, you have to have the one with three eyes.”
• “Just take it one day at a time." 
• "Is it too late to throw you off my bus?”
• “If you could stop yelling in my ear, I would be able to focus better.”

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