Before I start, I just want to esphasis that finally goes down in this one.

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Chapter 4: Is it a problem?

2 weeks later

Jimin grabbed his backpack and run out of Yoongi’s flat slamming the door behind him, loudly enough for all neighbors to hear. He had left the building and started running for a few minutes until he lost his breath and felt tears flowing down his cheeks. It was hard for him to keep calm this time. Today Yoongi said too much and he shouldn’t have done that. They had been arguing before, of course they did, but today’s quarrel was different. It’d all started with a normal talk about Jimin’s work, but then Yoongi started reproaching him a lot of things. He was mad that the younger boy was coming home so late and, like if that wasn’t enough,  Yoongi doubted Jimin was spending his time in the academy working.  He was just being jealous, for the first time actually, and he was thinking that his boyfriend had found his soul mate in Hoseok.  Yoongi’s worry’d had been totally fine if he didn’t express them in the way he did. The words he used talking with Jimin were just too unfair and hurtful for him to handle them.

So he just gave up and left. He have to think about it all now.

He thought that Yoongi will go after him and try to stop him, but … he didn’t.

Jimin didn’t realized when he had reached the academy. His eyes were swollen, face red and voice hoarse and shaky. Before he went to the practice room he made sure to care about his appearance in the bathroom. He wouldn’t had really care but he didn’t want to talk about it all with Hoseok. Not yet.

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“Jimin, take a break.”

“No.”

“What?”

“I don’t want to.”

Jimin was standing in the middle of the practice room, after 4 hours of dancing continuously. He was breathing hard, his legs were shaking and his face was bright red. The floor of the room was moist from his sweat as much as his own clothes.  Jimin could feel that he’s not able to move a single muscle, but he didn’t stop. It was his solution, his way to forget about problems and focus on something else. He was exhausted, every single step cost him a lot of energy to actually not fall down.

“I don’t give a . Take a break.”

“Shut up already.”

Hoseok was really pissing him off right now. Why won’t he just leave him alone? Jimin really didn’t feel like talking, he just wanted to occupy his minds with something else that argument with Yoongi. He sent irritated stare to Hoseok who was standing against the wall behind Jimin and he started dancing from the beginning. He won’t listen to his hyung this time. It’s not his business. Suddenly Jimin felt that his legs gave up on him, not being able to carry his weight anymore. He fell right into Hoseok’s arms, watchful and caring as always.  Younger boy was really, really tired, he had to admit it. He soon felt Hoseok’s arms wrapping around his chest as he laid Jimin down on the floor, placing younger’s head on his laps.

“Just ing lay down for a minute.” Hoseok said, not even trying to hide irritation in his voice. He also started Jimin’s hair in a comforting way, even though it was all sweaty and wet and – in Jimin’s opinion – disgusting even for him to touch it. It looked like Hoseok was really mad at him, although his smile was still on his face – his usual, sunny smile.

And he smelled so nice. As always …

“Jiminnie.”

“What?”

“You’re staring.”

Jimin blinked couple of times, turning his gaze from Hoseok’s face, trying to concentrate on the ceiling above them as their current position didn’t allow him to look anywhere else. He really had been staring. At Hoseok.  So embarrassing. But to be completely honest with himself,  Jimin had to admit that his hyung’s face was really … nice, even sawn upside down. He felt like his own face was on fire now, even though it was already bright red from all the dancing.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ Jimin started, but he was quickly cut off by Hoseok’s short laugh.

“It’s ok, Jiminnie. Don’t worry about it.” he said, moving his fingers from younger’s hair to his jawline, petting his chin and neck like Jimin was a big, grumpy cat in need of some attention. “I’m aware of my beauty, you can stare if you want to.” he added after a while, sending Jimin a mischievous smile and then bursting into laughter again.

“Oh really?” Jimin answered with the same roguish smile, wrapping his arms around Hoseok’s neck, who was quite surprised by this sudden move. The younger boy pulled his hyung a little bit closer, making him lean forward in a not very comfortable position. “I guess I should take the opportunity and take a closer look then.” he added after a while, squinting his eyes and examining Hoseok’s face with more serious expression now.

“Well… this is a little bit awkward, don’t you think?” Hoseok asked, when Jimin had been silent for more than a minute now, being busy just staring at his face. He was looking directly into younger’s eyes now and he could feel that his own heart was beating much faster than it should. Jimin’s behavior wasn’t really helpful, as he pulled Hoseok’s face even closer to his, enshrouding elder’s lips with his breath.

Jimin’s eyes are so beautiful.

“It’s not funny, Jiminnie.” Hoseok said with weak, shaky voice, still trying to act cool and steady with his confident smile. But Jimin’s proximity right now swept all his thoughts away and his daring actions made elder forget what day it was.

“Who said it’s supposed to be funny?” Jimin answered, right into Hoseok’s slightly parted lips, before pressing a soft kiss in their corner. It wasn’t a good idea and he knew that, but his thoughts were flowing too quickly for him to make a good decision in such a situation. He could feel how Hoseok stiffened up for a second, but he melted in Jimin's weak embrace right after that. Younger boy pulled away, really slowly, just as he didn’t want to look into Hoseok’s eyes. But it had to happen anyway, so …

.

“Well … wha-“

“I’m so sorry, hyung, I’m really, really sorry. I don’t know why di-“

“It’s ok.”

“What?” Jimin’s eyes probably couldn’t get any bigger as Hoseok answer had really surprised him.

“I think I know now why you were like that today, dancing your off and stuff.“ elder said, leaning back and resting his hands on the floor behind him. “Yoongi. You two have argued, didn’t you?” he asked after a while, with his usual smile, like nothing really happened. Did he even realized that his and Jimin’s lips touched for a second? Because younger boy was really confused right now and he thought that maybe Hoseok hadn’t noticed  their little moment?

Or maybe he’s trying to be all cool, huh?

Jimin looked away, trying to avoid Hoseok’s stare. He felt like a complete idiot now. Why would you kiss this dork? He didn’t love him obviously, they were friends, so … He was feeling lonely and frustrated, that’s why.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Jimin answered quietly, then got up and started stretching a little bit. He could feel every single muscle in his body, and it wasn’t a nice feeling. He looked down at Hoseok who was still sitting on the floor, sending him a slight smile. “It’ll be fine, don’t worry. I won’t try kissing you anymore.” he added after a while, bursting into fake laughter after that, rubbing his sore arms.

“Oh, really?” Hoseok sighed deeply, standing right in front of Jimin, with overly-sad looking face, just like a child who didn’t get what he wanted. “That’s a shame.” he added with another sigh, putting his thumb onto Jimin’s lips, prying them open a little bit, just to fit his fingertip between them.  His face looked like he’s really focused right now, looking directly at younger’s mouth. His stare was lusty, full of curiosity and desire. “They’re really soft. Yoongi is a lucky guy.” Jimin’s breath hitched in his throat as he felt Hoseok’s finger softly caressing his lower lip. He couldn’t take his eyes off elder’s face, feeling his warm breath on his own skin.

“Hyung…”

“I’m sorry, Jiminnie. “ Hoseok said quickly, sighing once again and making a few steps away from the younger boy. He looked like he had been woken up from a long dream, confused and a little bit disoriented, his intense stare disappeared.  “I guess I’ll be going home now. Don’t stay for too long, you look like a mess already.” he was avoiding Jimin’s questioning stare for all cost, staring at his own shoes as he moved to door.

It was all happening so quickly. The second before they were breathing into each other’s mouth, but now Hoseok was packing his backpack and putting on his jumper, while Jimin didn’t move at all, watching his hyung carefully. His mind was a one, big mess, he wasn’t even sure if it all had happened for real or it had been just another dream. Why Hoseok was acting like “that”? He always made fun out of everything, he was cool and steady but today …

“Goodnight, Jiminnie. Sleep well, we have a lot of work to do tomorrow.” Hoseok waved him goodbye, sending him a slight, shy smile and left Jimin all alone in practice room. The younger boy wanted to stop him, talk about what happened or just …

Right. What exactly happened?

Jimin looked at himself in one of the mirrors on the wall, trying to collect his thoughts.

“How am I supposed to tell Yoongi? Should I tell him? Do I want him to know?”

He didn’t. So he decided to keep this little secret for him. This … this …. “this” didn’t mean anything, he and Hoseok both have boyfriends, it was just a small mistake. They were both frustrated and probably wanted to relieve some stress, in not very good way, but…  Everyone makes mistakes, right? It won’t happen again. Well, at least Jimin didn’t want it to happen.

Did he?

His own apartment seemed to be emptier then ever that day.

And his bed bigger and colder without Yoongi.

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The very next day was incredibly awkward for both  Jimin and Hoseok. Everything seemed to be so fake. Any of them mentioned yesterday’s situation, but their talk was really weird, they both were trying to avoid their eyes and stay as far from each other as it was possible. The practice room had never been so quiet during breaks. Hoseok was trying to start a conversation, but Jimin have been immediately cutting it off.  It hadn’t been the worst until all the kids were gone and they stayed completely alone to train their own choreography.

“I think I’ll go home, I’m tired.” Jimin said, grabbing his backpack and starting to pack his stuff. He didn’t want to spend another couple of hours all alone with Hoseok. He was still embarrassed by his own behavior yesterday, he didn’t know how he should act around him now.

“Stop it, Jimin. I’m not stupid.” Hoseok replied with note of irritation in his voice. He didn’t feel alright with what had happened yesterday either, but it wasn’t professional acting like this. “Just forget about it, ok? It just happened, one and only time. You won’t ask me questions and I won’t ask you questions, ok? We have to work together, we can’t do it without talking or … or touching, you know?” he added after a second of hesitation, finally lifting his stare to look into Jimin’s eyes. Younger boy seemed to be much more lost and confused than Hoseok, nervously playing with his own fingers.  He had to admit that elder was right, they still have to spend all their days together, they can’t blush like teenage girls when they accidently brush their shoulder during dancing or stuff like that.

“Yea, I know that.” Jimin answered, making a few steps toward his friend. “I think we can try it.” he added, flashing a shy smile. Suddenly he felt a warm hand ruffling his hair, and he couldn’t help this nice sensation in his belly. Yea, they can try acting like nothing happen, but it did. And Jimin won’t probably forget about it as long as Hoseok will be … himself.

“That’s good. I was worried that we will communicate only by phones with each other.” the elder’s said, bursting into laughter right after that. It was such a relief, even though yesterday’s incident affected their friendship a lot. Hoseok was hoping that it’ll slowly get better and it’ll be all right again. “So, I guess we can start our dan-“ elder started, but he was cut off by the loud sound of the entrance door shutting open and fair-haired creature flashing across the practice room and jumping onto him, almost making him fall down.

“Hoooobi~!”

“Tae, what the hell are you doing?!” Hoseok asked trying to pretend anger, while in fact he couldn’t help blissful smile creeping onto his mouth when Taehyung wrapped his arms around his neck and started pressing a thousands of  pecks all around his face.

“You didn’t replied to any of my messages or  answered my calls so I thought something wrong had happened or …” Taehyung answered with worried voice, caressing Hoseok’s cheeks with his thumbs and carefully examining his boyfriend’s face. He wasn’t lying at all, he really didn’t get any message from Hoseok during that day, so he thought that it’ll be a good idea to check on his boyfriend by himself.  “Oh, I’m sorry Jiminnie, it’s nice to see that you’re ok, too.” he added suddenly, flashing his significant rectangular smile to the younger boy, still clinging onto Hoseok.  “Can we go home now?” he asked his boyfriend again, sending him a meaningful stare.

“We have to train our new choreo just a little bit more. You can wait here if you want to.” Hoseok answered, finally looking at Jimin, who was silently standing next to them,  fixing his hair in the mirror, or at least pretending to do so.

He suddenly was feeling angry. And sad.

Maybe he was just tired.

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A cold, summer night wind was so refreshing on Jimin’s skin. It made red blush disappear from his cheeks and combed his hair in more indescribable way. The night was chilly, but that didn’t make Jimin to wear his jacket, which was now packed in his backpack. The boy had goosebumps on his arms, but he didn’t seem to care about it. His steps were slow and unsteady like he’d fall anytime and his stare was empty.

Jimin was completely lost in his thoughts. He was thinking about what happened in the practice room earlier that day. He could feel this warm sensation in this stomach every time he thought about Hoseok and his proximity, but this was also making him really, really confused. Not only about the whole incident and their talk, but about his own behavior.  Why was he feeling so angry when Taehyung showed up? It wasn’t jealousy, right? He have already established that their kiss wasn’t anything meaningful, it was a result of his own frustration. He also loved Yoongi, he really did, he shouldn’t have had any doubts.

Jimin shook his head, sweeping away intrusive thoughts.  He decided to forget about it, move on like it didn’t happen at all. All he had to do now was talk with Yoongi, solve their problems and finally make it up. It’ll be easier for him to forget that way. He’ll probably feel like , he won’t be able to look Yoongi in the eyes, but it’ll get better.  It was just this one time when Jimin couldn’t stop himself from doing stupid things.

Although there was one advantage in his mistake – he finally appreciated Yoongi’s existence, his presence in his own life. It can only be better now. Of course if they stop arguing. Jimin had made up a little speech in his head while walking back home, what he should say Yoongi, how should he apologize him. He decided to keep it simple, just say everything what was making him nervous and angry and let it all out. He should also stop screaming so much at Yoongi, it wasn’t the best way to communicate with each other. 

He took a deep breath before opening the door. Why did he came to Yoongi's apartment anyway? He could just go to his own and come to his boyfriend next day, but he really needed his presence right now. All he wanted was to crawl under the blanket next to his sleeping boyfriend. He was almost completely sure that Yoongi’d be asleep already, it was past midnight now. It wasn’t weird then when he gasped from disbelief when the first thing he met  was a pair of arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him inside.

“I was worried something bad had happened to you.” a weak, shaky voice echoed in the dark, silent room and Jimin felt a warm breath on his skin, as Yoongi buried his face in the curve of younger’s neck. “You didn't show up yesterday and I had been calling you all night today but yo-“

“I’m sorry, Yoyo.” Jimin cut him off, intentionally calling Yoongi by this nickname he gave him a while ago. He wrapped his arms around elder’s waist, pulling him as close as he could get him. “My phone died after lunch and I haven’t planed working so long but, you know, we have this new choreography and-“

“You smell like trash.” Yoongi interrupted him, suddenly pulling away from Jimin, as much as the younger’s grip allowed him to. Of course he smelled, he hadn’t taken a shower after his practice, he hadn’t really cared about it then. 

“Do you want to take a shower with me then?” Jimin asked suddenly, with eloquent smile on his mouth. He have just realized that he’ll never get to know anybody as good as Yoongi, someone who’d welcome him like that after the big quarrel. He should care about his boyfriend more, because no one’s arms felt as warm and safe as his. Maybe Hoseok was attractive, maybe he had a nice body and amazing sense of humor but he wasn’t Yoongi.  Jimin pressed a quick peck on elder’s temple before grabbing his wrist and taking him to the bathroom.

“I think we should talk firstly, you know, about this argume-“

“We can talk in the shower, right?” Jimin cut him off, closing the door behind them and then starting ing Yongi’s shirt. His boyfriend looked confused and lost,  his hands were trembling when he tried to put Jimin’s away. “It’s ok, hyung. We will talk when I am clean again, ok?” the younger one whispered with his soft, comforting voice, throwing Yoongi’s shirt on the floor and placing his hands on the bottom of elder’s back, rubbing his pale skin with his own fingertips.

“Well, there isn’t much space here …” Yoongi said with shaky voice, trying to avoid Jimin’s intense stare, but he failed miserably when he felt younger’s hands sipping under his jeans. He was able to make just a short sigh before Jimin pressed his lips against his own.

“Is it a problem?” Jimin asked pulling away for a moment, but when he didn’t get any reply from his boyfriend he went back to kissing the daylight out of Yoongi and getting rid of the rest of his clothes.

It wasn’t a problem, at all.

But when Jimin woke up the next morning, he wasn't sure about his dream. He remembered that he was in the practice room in his academy and that he was dancing with somebody one of these chessy dances you dance on your prom. The person he was dancing with had a really bright smile and warm hands, and he laughed really loudly when Jimin fell down, so it could be rather Yoongi or ...

.

Jimin thought that making up Yoongi and solving their problems will be enough for him to get over Hoseok and the whole incident. He felt guilty after their kiss and dreaming about this idiot now was just too much for him. He started worrying that their steamy action in the practice actually meant something for him.

What should he do, then?

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