This is the story of Park Chanyeol and Byun Baekhyun. They walk home together. Cook food for the other. They cuddle and, sometimes, give platonic forehead kisses. But, no, they aren’t dating.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun's sure the blush that has settled on his cheeks was a result of the cold December air and not of the large hand that is currently resting against the small of his back, guiding him down the street. He convinces himself of this because thinking otherwise will cause another bout of delightful shivers to course through his spine and he can't walk properly as it is.

 

He surreptitiously looks up at the tall man strolling beside him, and he barely stops himself from sighing like a lovestruck idiot. Chanyeol is gorgeous—from the tops of his wind-ruffled dark hair to his pretty chocolate eyes and his strong, firm arms down to his endless (albeit a bit bowed) legs. Chanyeol isn't exactly perfect but he certainly looks delicious, especially when he’s in his pastry chef's uniform with its sleeves rolled up his forearms. Luckily, the younger guy is now covered in a large fur-trimmed parka. He looks no less adorable but there’s less exposed skin that Baekhyun may or may not want to sink his small teeth into.

 

It doesn’t cover the other male’s scent, though. That sweet, sweet smell which makes Baekhyun's mouth water. Chanyeol smells like heaven. Like strawberries and cream. Like warm cuddles and long, lingering kisses.

 

Unlike me, Baekhyun internally groans. He smells like antiseptic—on his good days. Most of the time he smells like a rotting corpse. He spends nine hours working non stop inside the emergency room, and sometimes even more. He wonders how Chanyeol seems to be okay with how he smells. He's probably just being nice, Baekhyun thinks in dismay while he pulls his coat tighter around him and hides his face further into his woolen scarf.

 

The two men turn a corner and soon reach their apartment complex. Almost all the windows facing the street are covered with cheery garlands and christmas lights to celebrate the season. Except for one. The male nurse shakes his head as he imagines the gloomy state of his apartment. He was just too busy to completely unbox his things even after six months have passed since he moved in, much less put up decorations. That’s why he liked hanging out in Chanyeol’s place when he can. It’s homey inside. There’s comfy furniture and there’s always nice pastries. And most importantly, a cuddly Park Chanyeol.

 

Chanyeol lets Baekhyun enter the elevators first with his usual thoughtfulness and the smaller guy feels his knees wobble a little. Seriously, Baekhyun grumbles, control yourself. Alas, Park Chanyeol's existence always has him on the verge of falling flat on his face. He's dangerous, especially that lopsided smile of his.

 

That's why it's totally unfair that Chanyeol's so cool and collected when he's with him. Although, Baekhyun knows that's to be expected because he's just plain and not really one to inspire love songs or sonnets. With the right clothes he can, maybe, pass off as cute. He does have pretty hands (Thank you, Mama Byun) but there's nothing else remarkable about him. Baekhyun frowns. Come to think of it he's downright boring and perhaps that's why his past relationships have failed.

 

Wow, that's just great.

 

It's a good thing the elevator stops on their floor just in time to save Baekhyun from more depressing thoughts.

 

There are four medium-sized units on the sixth level and they occupy two of them, Baekhyun's door, right across Chanyeol's. They pause in the middle of the hallway, ready to part for the night after their short walk from the bus stop. Baekhyun likes to believe that Chanyeol waits for him there so they can go home together but that was more of wishful thinking on his part. He does have a lot of wishful thoughts when it comes to the taller man.

 

"Well, see you around," Baekhyun says softly, reluctant to leave Chanyeol's company.

 

"Yeah, see you and oh," the younger male hands him a small, white pastry box with a cute red bow on top. If Baekhyun had to guess it's got to be a cupcake, similar to what Chanyeol gives him almost every night for the past few months they've been neighbors. "Here, red velvet. I went crazy earlier and accidentally baked an extra batch."

 

"You sure you're still getting paid? I mean with all the extra cupcakes you bake?" Baekhyun lightly teases the other man, well on his way to melting into a puddle of goo right there.

 

He's surprised to see Chanyeol actually blush. "Of course! I'm the patissier's top assistant. I get to do what I want."

 

"Okay, if you say so," the older male replies with a smirk.

 

"I am, okay!" Chanyeol insists. He rolls his eyes when Baekhyun continues to grin teasingly at him. "Whatever. Eat your cupcake, Nurse Joy, and go to sleep."

 

Somehow, the man has taken to calling Baekhyun after the pink-haired nurse from Pokèmon (Chanyeol's favorite cartoon) when the giant found out that he was working as one at the city hospital. Baekhyun looked nothing like the female character, and he knows it shouldn't, but it still makes him feel giddy every time Chanyeol calls him that.

 

"Fine, fine. Goodnight, Chanyeol," Baekhyun says, forcing himself to turn around and get inside. He can't help looking over his shoulder to get a last glimpse of Chanyeol, though, and he almost walks into his door when he sees the other guy hold his hand up and asks, "Uh, Baek, you free tomorrow?"

 

The smaller man's heart slams into his chest. Oh my god. Tomorrow is a Saturday. And it looks like Chanyeol's going to ask him out. Oh my god. Will he?

 

"Yes," Baekhyun squeaks before he clears his throat and lets out a calmer, "I mean, I am. Why?"

 

Chanyeol rubs the back of his neck, "Well, Jongin's got this solo performance at the open grounds downtown, in a recital or something, there're some idol groups performing, too, and, um, if you're free—maybe we can go together? I have an extra ticket and we can, um, have dinner after?"

 

"Like a date?" Baekhyun blurts out and he wants to punch himself because Chanyeol looks positively taken aback.

 

"A date? No, no, um, of course not. Just—um, not a date."

 

"In that case, yes, I'm free," the male nurse answers quietly, though inside he's rolling around in despair. "What time is it?"

 

"It's at seven... so I'll pick you up at six?" Chanyeol asks and he looks eager as a puppy, Baekhyun forgets his disappointment momentarily and nods.

 

"Six it is."

 

He gives Chanyeol a wave and then quickly escapes into his apartment, leaning his back weakly against the door. "You idiot," he whispers into the darkness of his empty house. "Of course it's not a date. What were you thinking?"

 

But if he was being honest, he wishes quite fervently that it was.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Stupid," Chanyeol scolds himself as he repeatedly bangs his head against the door once he got inside. "Stupid, stupid, stupid."

 

He almost did it. He almost asked Baekhyun out. But of course he's dumb and he went all chicken again. It was just when Baekhyun asked him if it was a date, the other man looked anxious and wary so Chanyeol was quick to deny it... even if he badly wanted for it to be one. Ever since he first saw Byun Baekhyun the night the nurse moved in—with his soft caramel-colored hair and winsome smile, wearing his light blue nurse's scrub suit—he had been instantly captivated and hasn't recovered since.

 

Baekhyun's just so cute—too cute that Chanyeol sort of wants to keep him in his pocket (or perhaps cup his cheeks and kiss him and kiss him and kiss him and...). He was surprised to know Baekhyun was half a year older than him because he looks way younger than his age of 25. He's short, too, but Chanyeol has always thought that Baekhyun's 174cm is perfect for his 185. His pretty head barely reaches the younger man's nose and it's just the right height for forehead kisses. He knows Baekhyun would fit nicely in his arms. It's all he can do not to snatch him into a tight hug every time he sees him come down from the bus. Byun Baekhyun's smile is definitely worth more than the nightly one-hour of waiting at the bus stop.

 

The problem is, Chanyeol's not certain if Baekhyun will even give him a chance once he gathers enough courage to ask him to go out on a real date, much less ask him to be his boyfriend. From what he heard from Jongin, who has been friends with Baekhyun longer than he has, the tiny nurse has dated and has had relationships with successful people—men with bright and promising careers.The most recent was even a doctor. Chanyeol's but a patissier's assistant, one currently with vague prospects. How can he even compete?

 

Chanyeol thinks he isn't much of a catch. He has an okay job baking four days a week in a four-star restaurant, yes, but apart from his talent with pastries, he's one big ball of nothing. Unlike Baekhyun who is... who is amazing. There's no other word for it. Baekhyun is amazing. The way his eyes disappear into happy crescents whenever he laughs at Chanyeol's jokes, how his brows knit in concentration when he's absorbed watching a movie. Even that tiny mole above his upper lip is breathtaking. And let's not forget his incredibly attractive hands with those long, slender fingers that appear delicate but are undeniably sturdy and efficient.

 

Chanyeol has always admired Baekhyun's work. He knows how tough and demanding the job can be. He's in awe of how, even after hours of hard work, Baekhyun can still look as beautiful as he does at the end of the day. It gets harder to stop himself from grabbing the elder's hand, getting on his knees and declaring his undying affection. Sadly, all he can do right now is give him a cupcake every day, hoping that each lovingly made pastry can help get his feelings across.

 

There are times... when Chanyeol thinks that Baekhyun kind of likes him, too. Moments when they're sitting on Baekhyun's lumpy couch and the small guy places his head on his shoulder during their weekly movie night. Or when they do groceries together and Baekhyun flicks Chanyeol's large ears if he buys too much junk food (it's a sign Baekhyun cares, okay?). But there are also instances when Baekhyun appears to treat him just like how he does everyone else. Like he was nothing special. It quite literally drives him crazy.

 

But it has only been six (glorious and miserable) months and he doesn't want to lose their friendship too soon with a careless confession. What if Baekhyun gets weirded out, rejects him, and never talks to him again?

 

"I'll dieeee," Chanyeol groans dramatically as he dives into the living room couch before taking out his phone from his pocket. He swipes at the screen and it lights up to show a picture of a pouting Baekhyun. Chanyeol remembers taking it a few weeks ago, that time he played a prank on the guy while he was helping put away Baekhyun's groceries, placing most of them on the highest shelf that the smaller man can't reach. This earned him a glare, a punch to his arm and this precious pout he was able to capture with his phone's camera.

 

"So cute," he coos at the screen before sighing and turning onto his back, long limbs flailing at his sides. "Byun Baekhyun why are you so cute?" he wails.

 

"You're hopeless."

 

Chanyeol looks up to find his housemate, Jongin, standing in the doorway of his room, shaking his head at him. After a final pitying glance, the dancer turns his back on his longtime friend and closes his bedroom door without another word.

 

Hopeless? Chanyeol stares longingly at his phone wallpaper. Yeah, he's hopelessly in love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The weather's nice that Saturday night—it made you want to laugh out loud in glee or break into a christmas jingle. The air is brisk but somewhat magical... at least that's what Baekhyun thinks. He has been feeling quite courageous, unabashedly hanging onto Chanyeol's arm from the moment they got into the subway up until now that they're walking towards the venue of the dance concert.

 

If the taller guy is surprised at his behavior, he doesn't show it. Chanyeol has been a perfect gentleman since the moment Baekhyun opened the door to the young pastry chef who looked quite handsome in a blue checked shirt and tight-fitting black denims with a black pea coat draped over his arm. He smells as wonderful as ever and many a time did Baekhyun lean in close just to discreetly get a whiff of Chanyeol's scent—tonight, a perfect combination of vanilla, freshly-laundered cotton and a cool winter night.

 

Baekhyun knows he doesn't look too shabby himself in his jeans and thick red sweater ensemble (Chanyeol did say red made his eyes stand out and he looked cute wearing his white beanie, hoorah!). He was glad to wear casual clothes for a change instead of his unflattering scrub suit. Baekhyun practically hopped around his room in delight as he spritzed himself with cologne, excited for the night ahead... even though it wasn't a date. That fact did dampen his spirits some but it quickly became irrelevant when he received a text message from Chanyeol saying he was already waiting outside his apartment.

 

It's a bit foolish to put so much importance on such a small thing but the gesture made him feel special. They could have just easily met in the elevators or even in the hallway but the taller man chose to travel the (admittedly short) distance between their doors to come and pick him up. So what if this wasn't a date? It feels close enough to one anyway that he could pretend that it was.

 

"Want to get anything before we get inside? Drinks? Candy?" Chanyeol asks when they reach the venue gates.

 

You. Can I have you? Baekhyun shakes his head at himself. "No, I'm good."

 

"You sure?" The shorter guy nods. "Awesome," Chanyeol beams down at him and playfully flicks his nose with a finger before guiding him to the entrance where a line has already formed. Baekhyun can't quite control the goofy smile on his face and was glad he was standing behind Chanyeol while the younger man takes out their tickets. Baekhyun feels his phone vibrate in his pocket, not surprised to see his best friend's name flashing on the screen.

 

"Byun Baekhyun where are you? I'm trying to save a spot for three people and it's in no way easy with this crowd!"

 

"Actor Do," he answers placatingly, "we're right outside the gates, already in line. Just a few minutes more and we'll be there."

 

"You better hurry, okay? I'm right in front of the stage. By the fence," Baekhyun chuckles as he imagines Kyungsoo's short limbs outstretched by his sides, large eyes threatening anyone who dares to come close and steal their spot.

 

"Aye, aye, captain," he answers before hanging up.

 

Baekhyun was a little surprised to know that Kyungsoo got an invitation to the performance from Kim Jongin himself. Without him realizing, his childhood friend and Chanyeol's housemate seemed to have gotten closer these past few weeks. He knows Kyungsoo had been spending some time with Jongin—the dancer even replaced him as Kyungsoo's script reading partner—but, although Baekhyun has been vocal to his friend about his crush on Chanyeol, the other guy has been mum about his friendship with Jongin. Well, Baekhyun figured there's no harm about Kyungsoo getting close to the other guy anyway so he just shrugged it off.

 

They soon begin to make their way inside, squeezing through the crush of people to reach the front. At one point, though, Baekhyun gets separated from Chanyeol as the crowd got thicker and thicker. The short male looks this way and that, trying to find his friend while cursing at his stupid lack of height.

 

"Where are you?" he mumbles anxiously, getting pushed and shoved from all directions. "Chanyeol, where are you?"

 

After a particularly strong push, Baekhyun starts to fall backwards. He lets out a frightened squeak and braces himself for the inevitable fall. But in a flash, a large hand envelopes his wrist and draws him safely against a solid chest. Baekhyun looks up to see Chanyeol, the taller man's eyes dark with worry. "You okay, Baek?"

 

All the older guy can do is stare as Chanyeol's arms tighten around him. Everything else starts to dissolve into nothingness; the noise and the chaos is replaced by the hard thumping of his heart which seemed to be in sync with Chanyeol's. He doesn't want to come off as some silly damsel in distress from a cheesy romance novel but it feels so nice that Baekhyun kind of wants to cling on to Chanyeol like this all night.

 

"Baek?" the other asks into his ear, his husky voice which doing crazy things to Baekhyun's insides.

 

"Uh, yeah," Baekhyun stutters as he forces himself to straighten and peel himself off Chanyeol's warmth. Get a grip, Byun Baekhyun. Calm down. "Let's go find Kyungsoo."

 

The male nurse starts to turn away but he stops when Chanyeol grabs his hand and squeezes it. It might be a trick of the light but the younger male's ears seem to glow bright red and he looks dead serious. "I don't ever want to lose you."

 

Just like that the swirling in his stomach starts again. Baekhyun takes an involuntary step towards him. "Chanyeol—"

 

"In the crowd. I mean you're so tiny," Chanyeol blurts out then he proceeds to pull Baekhyun towards the front of the audience.

 

Fortunately, they soon spot Kyungsoo. Despite his small stature, the people around the guy was giving him a wide berth, most probably intimidated by his eyebrows and his glare. His expression instantly clears up when he sees Baekhyun. "Guys, over here! What took you so long?"

 

"I, we, uh," Baekhyun starts, already feeling exhausted. And perhaps let down.

 

Kyungsoo, correctly sensing his best friend's mood, cuts in and changes the topic. "Nevermind. The show's about to start so get into place. Let's just talk later," he says while he moves to make space for Baekhyun and Chanyeol, the former letting out a small sigh as he drapes his arms over the fence separating the stage from the audience.

 

The show begins almost immediately, the stage lighting up with hundreds of colorful lights but Baekhyun can't quite feel the excitement anymore. You shouldn't get your hopes up, dummy, he tells himself wearily, remembering what happened just a few minutes ago. He had thought the other man meant something else. He had thought... he sighs again. You know better than to think Chanyeol will easily like you back. In this lifetime at least.

 

It's just that he can't completely stop himself from hoping. It's frustrating when the taller guy sends him so much mixed signals he comes away dizzy every time but then—

 

Baekhyun can't quite finish the thought because Chanyeol chose that moment to stand behind him, putting his arms on either side of Baekhyun’s small frame, holding onto the fence and enveloping him in a loose embrace.

 

But then you do things like this, Baekhyun thinks, glancing up at Chanyeol and watching the stage lights reflected in his eyes. Chanyeol looks down and sees Baekhyun staring at him. He grins and moves closer, his jaw brushing against the smaller man's temple, before paying attention to the ongoing performance. The way Chanyeol's eyes shone was quite a spectacle to behold and as Baekhyun returns his gaze to the stage, a helpless smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.

 

Who was he kidding anyway? With Chanyeol it gets annoying and frustrating and all sorts of confusing. But he knows there's no other place he'd rather be and there's no other guy he'd rather be with right now than him.

 

He leans back and gently catches one of Chanyeol's hands in his, breathing out a small laugh of contentment when the other guy absently entwined their fingers. He shakes his head at how easily the younger man can make him feel better with a simple action. He can't deny that he wants it, though, so Baekhyun resolves to stop thinking altogether and just enjoy this non-date with him.

 

Kim Jongin gives a wonderful performance during the latter part of the show and the friends enjoy it immensely with Baekhyun still cocooned safely in Chanyeol's arm. Sadly, it has to end at some point and an hour later finds them at the entrance to the backstage, waiting for Jongin so they can all eat out together.

 

Chanyeol’s housemate comes out wearing a big grin when he sees the three of them. He takes a step forward, his arms spread wide, and Baekhyun's not exactly sure how to respond because his best friend just launched himself towards Jongin, wrapped his arms around the man's neck and well, kissed him. Quite passionately, he might add.

 

"Close your mouth, Nurse Joy," Chanyeol whispers beside him, teasingly tipping his chin up.

 

Baekhyun, unaware that his jaw dropped, quickly the younger guy. "What? When? How?!"

 

Chanyeol shrugs. "I don't really know. It's the first time I saw this." He gestures towards the couple who are still locked in a kiss. "But um, you wanna get out of here? Looks like they'll be at it for a while."

 

Baekhyun nods in agreement. Kyungsoo has a lot of explaining to do but he doesn't think he'll be able to pry the guy away from Kim Jongin any time soon. "How about we go get that dinner?"

 

"Sure thing," Chanyeol replies, throwing his arm around Baekhyun's shoulder and  happily leading him away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol yawns loudly, mouth wide open. He's been awake since the early hours of dawn, thinking of what he can do for Baekhyun today. It's a Sunday and at 8am on Sundays they usually meet in the hallway and go down to the diner across the street to get breakfast. It wasn't something they talked about or set, it was one of the things they do together (groceries, movie night, laundry day, etc) that just happened. One day, a week after Baekhyun moved into the building, they coincidentally came out of their apartments at the same time, rode the elevator down together, crossed the street and sat at different tables inside the diner. Chanyeol remembers secretly spazzing because his cute new neighbor stood up and asked to share the table with him, looking adorable and soft in the morning light slanting through the glass windows.

 

They've since spent most Sunday mornings like that but Christmas is in a few days and the season is getting to him. He wants to try something different. He wants to watch Baekhyun's face light up when he sees what Chanyeol has prepared for him. He wants to make him happy, so happy that he gives Chanyeol unlimited hugs and kisses—the same ones Jongin gets when Kyungsoo comes over. And that's, like, everyday.

 

He isn't jealous at all that his best buddy has gotten himself a boyfriend and now spends more time with the rookie actor than with him. It does give him an excuse to go to Baekhyun's apartment and spend more time with the male nurse because the couple is too busy with each other to fulfill their best friend duties. Chanyeol and Baekhyun's cool with it, even joking and making fun of Jongin and Kyungsoo because they're awfully touchy and kissy and cheesy. It has been eight days of coming home to them making out on the couch and it's mostly exasperating but Chanyeol can't really deny that he secretly wants the same with Baekhyun.

 

Just thinking about it makes Chanyeol squeal and flap his arms around like the 12-year-old schoolgirl he is—which doesn't help his case at all. What Baekhyun needs is a mature and successful (that word again, sighs) man who can take care of him as he deserves and Chanyeol doesn't think he's at that point yet. He has a long, long way to go but that's not to say he's giving up. He's very much willing to be that guy, he just hopes Baekhyun can wait for him.

 

For the meantime, he'll try to be as charming as he can be to distract Baekhyun from finding someone else. Maybe do something he's good at, like... that's it!

 

Chanyeol promptly gets up from his bed and hastily throws his pants on, while listing the ingredients for the perfect breakfast in his head. This time he'll cook for his friend for a change. As amazing as he is, Byun Baekhyun is a self-confessed failure in the kitchen and Chanyeol thinks he'll definitely appreciate a home-cooked meal.

 

The tall man quickly brushes his teeth and washes his face, hiding his fluffy bed hair under a blue baseball cap before heading out to the grocers. He barely has an hour to shop and get back just in time for Baekhyun to come out for their weekly rendezvous. He's a bit nervous but his excitement is more than enough to drown out his misgivings.

 

Chanyeol finds himself panting and  trying to catch his breath, arms filled with groceries, by the time Baekhyun opens the door to his apartment forty minutes later. He sprinted from the elevators to reach the nurse's doorway at just the right moment, managing to give a wide grin to a surprised looking Baekhyun.

 

"Chanyeol?"

 

"Ah, yes... good... morning, Baek!" he wheezes out. He really should exercise more.

 

"Good morning... what's that?" the guy asks with a puzzled frown, pointing at the brown paper bags Chanyeol's carrying. "But don't we do groceries together on Wednesdays?"

 

Chanyeol nods. "Yes, yes we do. But I just thought we can... instead of eating out, I can make us breakfast? Nothing grand but... I really make mean cheese omelets!" Seeing Baekhyun's unchanging expression, he laughs nervously. "Or blueberry pancakes maybe? Hot chocolate?"

 

He feels relieved when Baekhyun finally smiles at him. "I'd love some pancakes."

 

"Great!"

 

"We'd have to cook at your place, though. You know all I have is a microwave oven," Baekhyun says, chuckling.

 

Chanyeol freezes for a second as he stares at the shorter guy, rendered speechless once again at how beautiful he is with his eyes crinkling at the corners while he laughs. He looks positively huggable in his plain white shirt and blue jeans. The taller man's gaze drops to Baekhyun's mouth and he's certain that if happiness had a shape, it would look exactly like those lips.

 

"Or we can remain standing here 'til lunch?" Baekhyun says.

 

Chanyeol blinks and shakes his head, embarrassed. Stop staring, you creep and get going!

 

"Yes! I mean, no, let's go." He turns and unlocks the door to his place, breathing deep to calm himself. Baekhyun said yes and that's already getting another step closer to Baekhyun’s heart. He can do this.

 

He leads the young nurse to the living room and tells him to make himself comfortable on the couch while he prepares the food. Chanyeol's walking towards the kitchen when he feels a slender hand holding onto his arm.

 

"If you don't mind I'll just go with you," Baekhyun says wryly, cheeks a pale shade of pink. "There's a couple of boxers on your couch and we've been friends long enough to know the Pororo ones are Kyungsoo's."

 

"What...?" Then Chanyeol realizes the implications of what Baekhyun said and he lets out a groan. "Ugh, those two. I told them not on the couch!"

 

Baekhyun just laughs and grabs one of the bags from him, making his way to the kitchen and placing it on top of the counter. He begins taking the items out, humming a cheerful tune while he's at it. Chanyeol imagines hundreds of mornings just like this and his chest hurts with wanting it so bad.

 

I like you.

 

"Hmmm... what did you say?" Baekhyun asks, still busy with the groceries.

 

The younger guy realizes he just said it out loud and his eyes widen with panic. "Uh, um, I—"

 

Baekhyun turns to look at him, an eyebrow raised in question but he appears to not have heard the accidental confession clearly. Thank god.

 

"Nothing, nothing. I was just saying you shouldn't be doing that. You're my guest." He walks to dump the bag he's holding on top of the dining table in the middle of the kitchen then pulls out a chair for Baekhyun. "Here. You just relax and let me do the cooking. Also, I don't want a walking fire hazard loose in my kitchen," he jokes lamely.

 

He can feel Baekhyun's gaze on him as he grabs an apron from the wall hook nearby and puts it on. Chanyeol goes to the sink while trying to fasten the ribbon around his waist with fingers made clumsy by his earlier slip, overly-conscious of the older guy watching him. He hears an amused chuckle and it’s the only warning before he feels a pair of hands covering his. Chanyeol looks over his shoulder and tenses when sees Baekhyun grinning impishly up at him.

 

“Let me,” the shorter guy says, promptly taking over the task. “I’m starving and you’re taking way too long.”

 

Chanyeol sputters in indignation which breaks down into a surprised grunt when Baekhyun laughingly pulls the ribbons too tight. The taller man spins around so that they’re facing each other, ready to retaliate with a pinch to the nose, but he miscalculates and he ends up standing even closer, his chest almost touching Baekhyun's.

 

It gets harder to breathe when, after a short pause, Baekhyun doesn't step back and instead lifts his arms and circles them around his waist, attempting to tie the ribbon once more. He's thankful that Baekhyun's not looking at his face because Chanyeol's sure at this range the other man can see how affected he is.

 

The nurse's brows are knitted in concentration. Chanyeol has to stop the urge to bend down and place a kiss against that smooth forehead just within his lips’ reach. He loses track of time, dazed as he breathes in the citrusy scent of Baekhyun’s shampoo. It could have been just a few seconds or it might have been an eternity before a wide smile graces Baekhyun’s pretty face.

 

“There,” the shorter man says proudly, having been successful in tying the apron’s ribbon.

 

"Thank—" his voice comes out embarrassingly high-pitched, so he clears his throat before he continues with a calmer, "Thank you."

 

"No problem. Oh, but one more thing," Baekhyun says tiptoeing, "You can't work with your cap like that." Then he proceeds to take it off, brushing Chanyeol's hair back with his fingers, before putting the cap on backwards.

 

The older guy finally, finally moves away, giving Chanyeol's heartbeat a chance to slow down. "Okay, um, okay."

 

He suddenly has no idea what to do next and he stands dumbly there in the middle of his kitchen watching Baekhyun fetch another apron from the hook. The nurse ties it expertly around his waist. After that he questioningly looks up at the taller male. "So what can I do? I'm not going anywhere near that stove but you can give me anything. I can handle it!"

 

"Bu-but...but," Chanyeol stammers, "You're my guest!"

 

"No. I'm Baekhyun, your starving neighbor who you promised to feed forever ago. I bite on cute, large ears like yours when I'm hungry. Now, hop to it, soldier or I will show no mercy!"

 

In truth, Chanyeol would've wanted Baekhyun to carry out his threat but he figures that would surely be the end of him and he's too young to die of bliss, so he hands the shorter man an egg beater and a bowl. "Well, okay, to satisfy your violent tendencies, here," he jokes.

 

Baekhyun scrunches his nose. "But that's too easy! Give me something tougher!" The older guy flexes his fluffy arms and Chanyeol think he's going to expire because of the cute any second now. "Come on, give it!"

 

The taller man relents, handing Baekhyun a small knife. "Something tougher, huh? Slice the butter into cubes, then."

 

"That's more like it," Baekhyun replies with a thumbs up.

 

Chanyeol rolls his eyes and pretends to busy himself with the pans. He secretly watches as his neighbor begins to work on the butter, barely controlling the urge to laugh when it appears to jump from Baekhyun's hold everytime he tries to slice through it. Oh god, so cute.

 

His heart feels like it drops all the way down to the basement, though, when Baekhyun suddenly lets out a short cry of pain. Chanyeol rushes to his side, hands flailing and hopping on alternate feet like a demented penguin. "Baek, what happened? What's wrong?"

 

Baekhyun shakes his head. "It's nothing I just cut—"

 

"Oh my god, where?" Chanyeol exclaims worriedly. He immediately grabs for Baekhyun's hand and inspects it for damage.

 

"It's just a nick, Yeol. Nothing to worry about," the other reassures him.

 

"But!" The younger guy finds the small cut at the tip of Baekhyun's index finger and he feels like crying. "Your pretty finger!"

 

Baekhyun pauses for a moment before he laughs. "Chanyeol, please, you don't have to cry. I just need to clean and put band-aid on it and I'm good to go."

 

Chanyeol looks at the other male in misery. "But Baekhyun!"

 

"Chanyeol, I treat wounds and injuries bigger and bloodier than this for a living. Me, nurse, remember?" Baekhyun pokes the taller man's cheek. "Now, go ahead with the cooking while I borrow your bathroom and take care of this cut. Okay?"

 

"Okay," Chanyeol answers. His eyes follow Baekhyun until he disappears inside the bathroom. He slumps on the chair with decidedly wobbly knees and drops his head on the table. He has yet to calm down from the fright of seeing Baekhyun hurt.

 

"You do know you look like an idiot just about now, right?"

 

Chanyeol looks up to see his housemate in his pajamas, yawning and looking like he barely had enough sleep. Which is entirely possible with Kyungsoo staying overnight. "You're awake."

 

"I didn't want to be," Jongin says, yawning once again before sitting across Chanyeol. "But you were making enough racket to wake up the dead. What exactly happened?"

 

The older male sighs. "I was going to make Baekhyun breakfast but he insisted on helping out and then he cut his finger."

 

"That's it?"

 

"He cut his finger, Jongin!" The dancer just stares at Chanyeol. "I know it's lame but... I just," he pauses and looks at his friend in the eye. "I just want to take care of him for the rest of my life."

 

"Then why do you sound so sad?" Jongin asks, confused. "Jeez, it hurts to look at you both. With the way you two are going around, you're practically dating."

 

Chanyeol frowns. "But practically dating isn't dating."

 

"Duh. Then ask him out?"

 

"That... I'm still working up enough courage to do it."

 

Jongin shakes his head. "Park Chanyeol, you know how great a guy Byun Baekhyun is." At Chanyeol's nod, he continues. "Do you honestly believe that there's no one else out there who wants to keep him?"

 

Chanyeol lets out a strangled sound. "Please don't remind me, damnit."

 

"Then do something about it, man." Jongin crosses his arms over his chest. "Do it now or someone will take him away and then where will you be?"

 

"But Jongin, look at me!" Chanyeol stands and points at himself. "Baekhyun deserves the best."

 

Jongin shakes his head again. He stands up, too, and reaches out across the small table to pats Chanyeol’s cheek. “Have a little faith, dough boy.”

 

“Oh, hi, Jongin!”

 

The two boys turn their head to see Baekhyun already out of the bathroom, walking towards them.

 

“Hiya, Nurse Byun,” the younger man greets the older guy with a salute.

 

“It’s hard to believe but I’m Chef Byun today,” Baekhyun says, chuckling. “Chanyeol and I are making pancakes. Want to have breakfast with us?”

 

Being best friends for five years has its perks. Jongin accurately reads Chanyeol’s expression and graciously refuses the invitation to the taller boy’s relief. He likes hanging out with Jongin but this was supposed to be a special breakfast for Baekhyun and him.

 

“Thanks but, I’m… you know.” Jongin points towards his room.

 

“Ah, yes. Of course,” Baekhyun answers and Chanyeol can see the beginnings of a blush taint the nurse’s ears. “Say hi to Kyungsoo for me.”

 

“Will do!” Jongin was about to go but he stops, looks at Chanyeol and raises a fist. “Go get ‘em, tiger. Fighting!”

 

“Go die,” Chanyeol deadpans.

 

His housemate bursts into loud, obnoxious laughter and promptly disappears into his room. Chanyeol feels Baekhyun’s eyes on him and he slowly shifts to see his friend looking curiously up at him.

 

“That was… don’t mind that clown,” Chanyeol says.

 

“Okay.” Baekhyun grins at him and oh damn god his eyes are doing that cute crescent thing, someone save me.

 

Chanyeol clears his throat and steps back because he’ll end up staring once more and breakfast won’t happen. “Uh, so, breakfast. Please just stay put and let me do the cooking. Because I’ll probably go bald worrying you’ll hurt yourself again.”

 

“I’m not a kid, you know, and it was just a tiny cut.” Baekhyun pouts, ultimately testing Chanyeol’s self control. Thankfully, the blonde male doesn’t protest more. “But if you must then… two servings please. All the excitement has gotten me really hungry.”

 

“Coming right up!” Chanyeol answers, already picking up a bowl to make the batter. He steals one last glance at his neighbor and remembers Jongin’s words.

 

“Do it now or someone will take him away and then where will you be?”

 

He takes a deep breath. Soon, he tells himself, I’m almost there, Baekhyun. Please wait for me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I hate you,” Chanyeol sobs, knees drawn up, wiping away his tears against the sleeves of his knit sweater, “I mean, I hate you every movie night but I hate you the most right now.”

 

The end credits to Miracle in Cell No. 7 continues to play in the background while Baekhyun laughs from where he is lying on the couch. He’s on his side facing the television, using the armrest as a pillow while Chanyeol’s sitting on the floor with his back against the couch seat. It’s Tuesday and they’re at Baekhyun’s. The older guy can’t cook and he doesn’t have much in terms of furniture but he does have a 60” LED Smart TV and an old comfortable leather couch, just perfect for lazing around and watching movies in.

 

“Pooh, you crybaby,” Baekhyun teases the taller man, glad that Chanyeol’s distracted so he can secretly wipe at his own tears.

 

“I am not a crybaby,” the taller man grumbles.

 

Baekhyun can almost hear him frown. It makes him smile. Hell, almost everything Chanyeol does makes him smile.

 

He recalls all the times they’ve spent together like this, just the two of them having fun, and he believes the only reason they were able to enjoy themselves was because of Chanyeol’s inexhaustible energy and endless jokes.

 

And it quite puts him in a quandary because Chanyeol is less than an arm’s reach away but he doesn’t dare cross that distance. He can’t.

 

The male nurse’s eyes follow the curve of his friend’s ear and the slope of his cheek and nose. Park Chanyeol is so beautiful. He’s a great guy who deserves more than Baekhyun’s microwaved popcorn and lame hospital horror stories.

 

For sure, he wants to hold his hand. He wants to lean in and touch his face. He wants to feel his soft mouth against his. Chanyeol’s so close. He wants more.

 

Baekhyun wants to try forever with Chanyeol but the other man may not ever want the same. They are good friends right now and Baekhyun tells himself that it’s okay. Because if he asks for more than this, Fate might get tired of him and take Chanyeol away too soon.

 

I don’t want to lose this.

 

Mulling over his predicament, he doesn’t notice he already shifted nearer the younger man, so much that when Chanyeol turns his head, the space between them is small enough to cause a heart attack. Baekhyun’s eyes round in panic.

 

“What is it?” Chanyeol asks, head tilting to the side.

 

Baekhyun abruptly shakes his head and forces out a laugh, pulling back slowly until there’s room to breathe. “Nothing.”

 

“You sure? You look like you’ve seen Kyungsoo and Jongin going at it on the sofa,” the patissier says with a chuckle.

 

Baekhyun hits the taller guy’s shoulder. “Ew, stop that, oh my god. You don’t have to remind me. Have you seen them all mushy and cheesy? I want to strangle them both every time.”

 

It’s true. Baekhyun wanted to scream bloody murder every time his best friend and Jongin talk and kiss as if they were the only people in the room. Though he won’t admit that it’s more because of him being jealous of the couple than anything else. Nope.

 

“Jongin lives with me, I know the feeling,” Chanyeol says with a nod. He then gets up on his knees and faces Baekhyun, resting his palms on the couch and looming over the smaller man. “Anyway, you still need to comfort me.”

 

Baekhyun forgets to breathe again. “What?”

 

“It was your idea to watch this movie,” Chanyeol answers, poking on Baekhyun’s chin with his index finger. “I wanted to watch a perfectly funny and heartwarming film three days before Christmas and not one that crushes you and leaves you to die in misery.”

 

“Tch! Miracle is a perfectly heartwarming movie!” Baekhyun exclaims, pretending to be affronted for his choice. “Much better than that chick flick you wanted.”

 

“It wasn’t a chick flick!”

 

“It is so.”

 

“Not!”

 

“Park Chanyeol,” Baekhyun retaliates with a poke to Chanyeol’s nose. “It. Is.”

 

“No, it’s not!”

 

To Baekhyun’s surprise, Chanyeol lets out this half chuckling-half roaring sound and next thing he knows, the younger guy is completely over him tickling the life out of his small body. He lets out a shout of candid laughter.

 

“S-stop!”

 

“Say uncle first!”

 

“Never!”

 

“You brat!” Chanyeol goes for his neck and it’s game over for Baekhyun. “Give up.”

 

“Fine, fine! Uncle!” Baekhyun hollers and he knows they’re being entirely too noisy at midnight but he finds he doesn’t care. He’s happy.

 

Chanyeol stops tickling him and Baekhyun becomes aware of their position, the taller male on all fours above him, grinning goofily at his victory. Baekhyun blinks and swallows because he just has to lean up a little and he can catch that grin with his own lips. He wants to be selfish just this once and take the chance. It may be his only one.

 

Except… one kiss in exchange for nights like this?

 

No, I don’t want to lose you.

 

So he takes hold of the urge. As long as Park Chanyeol stays beside him, he won’t mind if his kisses are meant for someone else. Much. Still, imagining the other guy being this close to someone else makes his chest tighten. He doesn’t notice his lips drooping at the edges into a sad frown.

 

It doesn’t escape Chanyeol’s eyes, though. Chanyeol cups the side of Baekhyun’s face and peers down at him. “You’re shaking.”

 

“Huh?” Baekhyun looks away. “Just a little bit cold.”

 

“Oh, well then.”

 

His heart does that crazy plopping thing when Chanyeol suddenly gathers him in his long arms, lying down beside him and squeezing to fit them both on Baekhyun’s short couch. Baekhyun's cheek finds a place against Chanyeol’s cotton covered chest while the taller man’s chin rests on top of his head.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Um… I was cold, too. And you were cold. Two birds, one stone.”

 

“Oh, okay.” Actually, it’s not okay for his well being but he can’t deny it feels really, really nice. Baekhyun kind of wants to cry. Going for broke, he puts his hand around Chanyeol’s waist and tries not to.

 

They stay like that for a few moments, both seemingly content with the silence until Chanyeol breaks it with a question, deep voice hoarse and sleepy. “I was wondering… what are you doing on Christmas eve?”

 

“Spending it at the hospital,” he replies. “Work. Just like always.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah. Kyungsoo always goes back to his hometown for Christmas. My parents are on a trip and they won’t be home until January,” Baekhyun explains. “I’m used to it, though. How about you?”

 

“I’m spending it with my family. Actually,” Chanyeol pauses to absently play with Baekhyun’s ear. “I wanted to ask if you wanted to… never mind.”

 

“Wanted to what?”

 

“Forget it, Nurse Joy.” The younger boy scoots closer. If that’s even possible. “You know, this feels really nice. Can I nap here for a while? I’m sleepy.”

 

“No.”

 

“Three mi~nutes.”

 

“No.”

 

“Two… one?”

 

No. No. No, don’t hug me like this. You’re so mean.

 

“Okay, you dork,” Baekhyun whispers.

 

His answer doesn’t matter anyway. Chanyeol’s already asleep, unknowingly stealing another piece of Baekhyun’s heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, this is where the story of Park Chanyeol and Byun Baekhyun gets sticky. Because, yes, they are still not dating.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The wall clock reads half an hour after eleven.

 

Chanyeol knows it’ll probably take twenty minutes by car to get from the Park family residence to the hospital Baekhyun’s working in. He was disappointed when his friend had said he has work tonight. He had hoped to invite him to his house and spend Christmas eve together but it’s not too late, right? If he leaves now, he can get to him by just in time. That is, if he can leave. His mom would most likely skin him alive if he goes out the door before midnight.

 

“Chanyeol, you have been staring at the clock since you got here,” his mom says across the table from him. “Are you that impatient to leave?”

 

“Huh? No, of course not,” he answers, eyes going to his older sister beside him, silently asking for moral support. Yoora knows about Baekhyun. How can she not when she’s a snoop?

 

He only receives a silent “fighting!” before she goes back tapping on her phone. Traitor.

 

The small lady rolls her eyes at her son. “You’ve been fidgety all night and your right foot’s already out the door.”

 

Chanyeol looks down at his own feet. “No, it’s not.”

 

“Somewhere you got to be, son? Something more important than opening your mother’s secret present?” his father asks. The older man turns to his wife with a teasing smirk. “What color is the sweater this year, honey?”

 

“Hmmp,” Mrs. Park glares at her husband. “If you must know it’s blue and gold.”

 

“Two colors, oh my,” Chanyeol’s father says with a wink. “Now, that is different.”

 

“Are you making fun of me?”

 

Mr. Park stands up from his seat and pulls Mrs. Park out her seat into a playful embrace, making Chanyeol’s mother frown in annoyance that was soon replaced by unwilling laughter when Mr. Park proceeds to dance with her.

 

Chanyeol can’t help but chuckle and think this is the reason why he’s a sap. This type of loving—the sweet and forever kind—he wants it, too.

 

“You know,” Yoora says quietly, “now is the time to go, while mom is happily distracted.”

 

“But—”

 

“By the way, the cake you made for me was divine. Thank you, little bro. So here are the keys, take my car, and shoo!” Yoora pats his head.

 

With that (sort of) blessing, Chanyeol quickly stands up. He grabs his coat and the gift bag under his chair. He kisses his mother’s cheek while she is being twirled around by his father and then strides towards the door.

 

“Park Chanyeol where are you going?”

 

“Let the boy be, honey. You know kids these days. You still got me,” Mr. Park coos at his tiny wife.

 

“Merry Christmas, sis! Mom! Dad!” Chanyeol calls out before he continues to run out.

 

He looks at his watch and there’s barely enough time. But he can do this. God, let me do this please.

 

Knowing Baekhyun is alone to celebrate the occasion doesn’t sit well with him. Even though the little guy may have friends, Chanyeol wanted to be there with him, too. Family is important but, in such a short time, Byun Baekhyun has become just as important to him.

 

The drive wasn’t that difficult. The other day, Baekhyun told him he’d been hoping for a white Christmas but the skies haven’t complied yet so the streets were clear. Chanyeol arrives with three minutes to spare. He immediately takes off and reaches the hospital lobby, panting.

 

“Um, I’m Park Chanyeol. I’d like to speak with my friend, Byun Baekhyun, he’s a nurse here…”

 

“Oh yeah, Nurse Byun. He just passed by here,” the receptionist answered kindly. “You can probably find him at the benches near the parking lot. That’s where they all go during breaks.”

 

“Oh, okay. Thank you, miss! Merry Christmas!” Then Chanyeol’s off again because it’s less than thirty seconds before midnight.

 

Twenty seconds.

 

He’s out the hospital entrance and running down the stone steps. Baekhyun just got out. He can still catch him.

 

Ten seconds.

 

There! He sees Baekhyun standing by a lamp post, looking adorable in his oversized coat. He made it!

 

“Hey, Nurse Jo—”

 

But the patissier grinds to a halt because Baekhyun’s not alone. There’s a tall guy with him. No, not just with him… The guy has his arms around his Baekhyun! Chanyeol is close enough to hear the other man say, “Merry Christmas, Baek.”

 

Baek? He called him Baek? Are they close? Who is he? And he’s taking a damned long time hugging his Baekhyun.

 

“Baekhyun?” Chanyeol says and he hates that he sounds so uncertain.

 

Baekhyun looks up and, to his relief, breaks away from the stranger’s embrace. The shorter man walks to where Chanyeol is, face filled with surprise.

 

“Chanyeol! What are you doing here?”

 

Chanyeol reaches for Baekhyun’s hand and holds it possessively before he looks over the nurse’s head at the other guy. He’ll feel like a loser later for this caveman display but he can’t help it right now.

 

“Well, I—”

 

“Hi,” the man embracing Baekhyun earlier suddenly interrupts.

 

“Oh yes, Chanyeol, this is Dr. Choi Minho, he’s—”

 

“I’m a very good friend,” the man interrupts again. “We used to date. Sadly, I had to leave Baekhyunnie, here, for a bit.”

 

At Baekhyunnie, Chanyeol feels the urge to knock someone’s front teeth. Someone who has perfectly tanned skin and has perfect hair. Someone who looks like Dr. Choi.

 

“Ah, yes,” the shorter male says. “He got transferred to another hospital.”

 

“But now that I made it to residency, I’m back.” Dr. Choi smirks. “I’m hoping, for good.”

 

The young doctor glances meaningfully at Baekhyun and his smile deepens, as if saying he wants to continue where he and Baekhyun left off.

 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun answers. “By the way, Minho, this is Park Chanyeol, my, um, my friend.”

 

At the hesitant tone, Chanyeol stares down hard at the boy beside him. A friend? Yeah, he is a friend.

 

Then why are you so angry? It’s true. You are just a friend. Nothing more.

 

He wasn’t a successful doctor. Not even a full fledged patissier. He was merely an assistant.

 

“We’re neighbors, too,” Baekhyun adds and inadvertently makes Chanyeol feel even worse. He wasn’t Baekhyun’s very good friend.

 

The taller man’s hold loosens on Baekhyun’s hand and he steps back. “Yeah, apartments right across each other’s.”

 

He’s so jealous. He’s so jealous his stomach hurts.

 

“Sorry for interrupting, Baekhyun. I got to go.” Chanyeol bows and walks away, barely minding where he is going.

 

“Chanyeol, wait up!”

 

Chanyeol can hear the older guy but his feet won’t stop moving. If he does, he thinks he’ll begin to feel the pain in his chest, too.

 

“Chanyeol!”

 

He gets to his sister’s car and leans against it, resting his elbows on the roof and catching his head in his hands. You dimwit, Park Chanyeol! Just a friend, just a neighbor, just a nobody, Park Chanyeol.

 

“Hey, are you okay?”

 

Chanyeol straightens and glances at Baekhyun. The blonde male looks worriedly at him.

 

“I’m fine,” he says, voice flat and tired.

 

“Are you sure? Because if you’re not, the hospital’s right there—”

 

“I said I’m fine. Go back to your good friend, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol doesn’t mean to sound harsh but he can’t seem to stop.

 

“Minho?”

 

“Of course, I meant Dr. Choi. How many very good friends do you have?”

 

Baekhyun appears taken aback. “I don’t think what you’re saying is nice.”

 

Damnit! he thinks as he watches Baekhyun withdraw from him.

 

“I know,” he replies, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I know. I’m sorry. I guess I’m just not feeling well.”

 

Chanyeol’s attacked by guilt as Baekhyun returns to being a concerned angel. “I knew it. Come on, let’s go back there so we can have you checked.”

 

On reflex, he shrugs Baekhyun’s hand off when he touches Chanyeol’s shoulder. The pretty hand retreats and Baekhyun cradles it against his chest, making Chanyeol feel all kinds of a jerk.

 

“Chanyeol… are we okay?”

 

I’m not okay. “I just want to be alone right now.”

 

It’s rude but he doesn’t wait for Baekhyun’s reply. He thinks he hears a quiet Merry Christmas, Dumbo before he closes the car door but when he looks at the rearview mirror, he only sees Baekhyun’s back as he walks away.

 

This was supposed to be a great night, he tells himself, frustrated. This was his first Christmas with Baekhyun. They were supposed to be happy.

 

He drives through festive streets filled with the sound of joyous carols and twinkling lights but he doesn’t feel the cheer at all. He stops in front of their apartment complex and Chanyeol sits there replaying the past hour with a sinking heart. He realizes how much of an he had been. He really doesn’t deserve Byun Baekhyun.

 

He catches sight of the gift box on the passenger seat, gold ribbon tied around it staring mockingly at him. He remembers choosing gold because seeing it reminds him of how bright Baekhyun’s smile is. Chanyeol sighs. He’s sure he’s not going to see that smile directed at him ever again.

 

He finally goes out and looks up at the dark sky. The wind is biting and freezing. He closes his eyes and imagines Baekhyun there with him. He fails because his arms are empty and no imagination can replace the warmth of Baekhyun’s small frame against his body. He opens his eyes as something cold touches his cheek.

 

It’s snowing.

 

“Merry Christmas, Baekhyun.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“No matter how depressed you’re feeling, do not, I repeat, do not jump off the building.”

 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes at his friend, although it’s wasted because they’re just talking on the phone. Kyungsoo’s with Jongin on a date and his best friend shouldn’t really be on the other line. But it does warm his heart some at how much the young actor is concerned about his welfare. Unlike that stupid, stupid, giant living across him.

 

“Kyungsoo, I’m not depressed.” I am alone, sad and maybe, super annoyed at the world right now. “I won’t jump off the building just because of Park Chanyeol.”

 

“Oh, was that why you got drunk the other night and I had to rush there from rehearsals, mind you, because you told me on the phone how you’re on your balcony and that you feel like flying?”

 

“I was drunk and I was just sitting on the window ledge. I don’t have a balcony remember?”

 

“I don’t care,” Kyungsoo answers with a huff. “Baekhyun, seriously, are you going to be okay? Because I can just cut this date short and stay with you.”

 

“Kyungsoo, really. I’m fine.”

 

“Fine my .” Kyungsoo snorts and Baekhyun can hear a yes, your is fine and a shut up, Jongin before his best friend continues. “Byun Baekhyun, you got your heart broken just four days ago.”

 

“You don’t have to remind me, I was there,” Baekhyun answers and oh, there, ouch, there’s that pinch when he recalls Chanyeol’s words and the sight of him driving away. It’s the last time they’ve spoken. Four days, can you imagine? When before not a day passes that he and Chanyeol don’t spend at least an hour together. They haven’t gone to Sunday Breakfast, no Grocery Day, either. And tonight is Movie Night but he’s alone sitting forlorn in the middle of his couch.

 

He misses him. He misses that oaf so much.

 

Baekhyun doesn’t know what happened. One minute they were okay and the next, he doesn’t even get a reply to his message. No one else knows how hard it was to summon enough courage to send that text.

 

Chanyeol, can I come over and talk?

 

He sent it on Christmas morning after a sleepless night thinking about Chanyeol’s pained expression when he rejected Baekhyun’s touch. That… that still hurts, too.

 

“Hey, Baek, still with me?” Kyungsoo asks from the other line.

 

“I’m here.”

 

He hears his best friend sigh. “I know breaking up isn’t easy.”

 

“Kyungsoo, we didn’t break up. Chanyeol and I were never together.”

 

“Please, Baekhyun. I’ve endured six months of you being disgustingly sweet boyfriends and making googly eyes at each other,” the younger man complains.

 

“That’s you and Jongin,” Baekhyun rebuts.

 

“No, that’s you and Chanyeol.” His friend sighs again. “Couldn’t you see it, Byun? Chanyeol’s always on the verge of smiling when he’s with you. And as much as you’d like to deny it, you’re the same.”

 

Baekhyun hugs his knees to his chest, voice small. “It’s not like I can help it. I know he’s, perhaps, happy when he’s with me but I don't want to just assume—”

 

“Assume? Assume?” Kyungsoo asks, voice rising. “The guy cooks you breakfast, waits an hour at the bus stop so he can walk you home, treats you like royalty and you don't even want to assume that he likes you?”

 

“It's... he hasn't even told me that he likes me,” Baekhyun answers stubbornly. “If he did, he'd have come out and confessed, right? And you know how much... I just don't want this to fail.”

 

He doesn’t want to get hurt again but Baekhyun doesn’t say it out loud.

 

“They did a number on you, didn’t they?” his friend answers. “Baekhyun, not everyone are like your dumb exes.”

 

“I was always never enough.”

 

“You know, you're hurting yourself with denying that you mean more to Chanyeol than just a friend because you’re scared to try.”

 

Baekhyun closes his eyes. He is afraid. He likes Chanyeol so much. “But... what if he does think of me just as a good friend? What if he does those things for all his friends?”

 

Kyungsoo clucks his tongue. “He can walk Jongin home and cook for him and treat him like a king but he doesn't look at Jongin the way he looks at you—as if you're the most precious thing in his world. No, like you're his world.”

 

It’s seems so easy to give up and believe his best friend. He wants Chanyeol to be his. Dare he let his feelings take over and affect his judgment?

 

"I don't know, Kyungsoo."

 

“I don’t know what to do with you.”

 

Baekhyun hears weird sounds on the other end, a what are you doing? and a let me before a deeper voice speaks to him, “Hiya, Nurse Byun.”

 

“Hi, Jongin. I apologize for Kyungsoo, he doesn’t know when to stop,” Baekhyun says jokingly.

 

“I know right. I still love him, though.”

 

“Good answer,” the nurse chuckles.

 

“At the risk of sounding impertinent, about Chanyeol…”

 

Baekhyun smiles into the receiver. He likes Kim Jongin. He’s perfect for his best friend. “Yes?”

 

“My friend’s the worst,” Jongin says seriously, “but he’s worth a try.”

 

He’s not sure why but Baekhyun feels himself wanting to tear up. It takes a few seconds before he can reply. “Thanks, Jongin.”

 

“No problem. Oh, Kyungsoo doesn’t want me to say but we’re actually at Namsan right now, doing those disgustingly sweet boyfriend stuff.” The other man laughs, returning to his joker self. “Goodluck, Baekhyun. Talk to you later!”

 

The call ends and Baekhyun feels a bit more optimistic. Yes, he wants to have something like what Kyungsoo and Jongin have. So what if Park Chanyeol is being a jerk and isn’t talking to him right now?

 

He’s worth a try.

 

He’s worth a thousand tries.

 

Baekhyun, for the first time since Christmas eve, laughs out loud. He laughs at his cute friends. He laughs louder at himself.

 

Look at me falling like a fool for you.

 

He gets up and turns on the dvd player. The tv screen lights up. It’s the movie Chanyeol had wanted to watch last week. Some romantic film about a boy who can travel back in time and uses his power to create his perfect love story.

 

“It’s so girly,” Baekhyun comments by the middle of the movie.

 

By the end credits, he’s touched and he’s wishing he can have the same ability so he can go back to the day he met Park Chanyeol.

 

He’d shake his hand. He’d introduce himself.

 

And then he’d jump him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The gold ribbon tied around Baekhyun’s gift is still staring back at Chanyeol but it’s New Year’s Eve and he’d like to believe that the thing’s at least feeling a little sorry for him by now. After all, going through a week without talking to Byun Baekhyun is already absolute hell.

 

He knows it’s his fault. When he received the other guy’s text message, he had wanted to fly across hall, cling to Baekhyun and never let go. But feelings of guilt has quite eaten him alive the past week and he didn’t know how to face the older guy. He admits he was insanely jealous but Baekhyun didn’t deserve to be treated the way Chanyeol treated him that night.

 

He doesn’t deserve to be Baekhyun’s friend let alone be his boyfriend.

 

But that doesn’t change the fact that Chanyeol’s still in love with his neighbor and it hurts to even breathe knowing he’s just a few meters away, probably hating him. He groans and plants his face on the kitchen table.

 

“Stop being useless and talk to him.”

 

Chanyeol opens an eye and sees Jongin frowning at him. “But hooooow? He hates me.”

 

“How did you know? Didn’t you tell me he sent you a message asking to talk to you?” his housemate asks, confused.

 

“Well, he didn’t hate me that time but I’m sure he hates me now after I didn’t reply and ignored him for a week.”

 

Jongin drops down on the chair beside him. “Why would you even do that? Are you an idiot or are you an idiot?”

 

“The second one,” Chanyeol sobs and hides under his arms. “What do I do?”

 

“I don’t know,” Jongin shrugs. “You tell me.”

 

“I messed up. No matter how hard I think about it, I blew my chance big time.” Chanyeol sits up and looks at his friend. “He deserves a mature boyfriend who knows what he’s doing and not someone like me who is clueless ninety percent of the time. Baekhyun deserves to be taken cared of and given everything he wants and—”

 

“Hold up, dough boy,” Jongin butts into his speech and raises his palm up. “While I do understand that he looks as precious as a doll and he’s small and all the cutesy words you call him, Byun Baekhyun is a tough guy. He’s a nurse. He lifts larger and heavier things than the sacks of flour you carry. He looks fluffy but he can probably lift you—no, don’t think of dirty stuff, I’m serious here.”

 

Chanyeol hits Jongin in the arm weakly. The younger male just laughs at him. Although, he had, at times, imagined Byun Baekhyun in nurse outfits of, ahem, the skimpy and y variety. “I’m not thinking of dirty stuff.”

 

“Yeah, whatever. What I’m pointing at is Baekhyun’s old enough to make up his own mind. You’re always overthinking stuff. Let him make his decisions. Don’t take that away from him.”

 

“But,” the older boy sighs, “why would he even choose me?”

 

“Duh, because you make him happy?” Then Jongin says something that completely makes sense, Chanyeol felt like a worm realizing his mistake. “I mean you’re insulting Baekhyun if you think he needs to have this hotshot boyfriend who has this and that to survive. Yes, he dated successful men, so what? I’m not telling you not to pursue your dreams but you’re pretty okay just the way you are right now. I’ve always hated it how you kept on selling yourself short.”

 

“God,” Chanyeol groans. “I really am an idiot.”

 

“Yeah. You’re lame but I think Baekhyun at least likes you.”

 

“He does, doesn’t he?” the taller man muses out loud. He thinks of all the times Baekhyun has asked to hang out, all the hours they've spent goofing around. The looks they share while laughing at inside jokes. The comfortable silence when they’re just sitting beside each other, doing absolutely nothing at all. “I’m the worst out there but Baekhyun looks happy when he’s with me.”

 

“That guy is actually pretty lame, too.”

 

“No, he’s special,” Chanyeol retorts, pauses, and then, “okay he does have lame hospital horror stories but he’s still mostly amazing and beautiful and I love him. And he may not be in love me right now but… Well, he won’t be if I won’t even try to make him, right?”

 

“To be honest, Chanyeol, I really think, he’s already halfway there.”

 

 

Chanyeol, feeling lighter than he has in days, faces his best friend and jokes, “All those compliments… are you sure you’re not in love with me? I mean—”

 

“Nope,” Kyungsoo cuts in from the doorway, looking amused. “He’s in love with me. And my fine .”

 

“That, I am,” Jongin answers readily, standing up to greet his boyfriend with a peck on the cheek.

 

The shorter man waves the cloth bag he’s holding. “I brought food. Are you joining us tonight, Chanyeol?”

 

“Um, it depends? Do you know where Baekhyun is?”

 

“Ooh,” Kyungsoo turns to Jongin. “Your boy all grown up now?”

 

Chanyeol’s housemate chuckles. “Yeah. How about yours?”

 

“Baekhyun? I just left his apartment,” Kyungsoo shares a look with his boyfriend. “Chanyeol, if you want to catch him better leave now. I think he’s going to a New Year’s Eve party, and he said something about a doctor? I’m not sure I wasn’t—”

 

“I’m leaving, Happy New Year!” Chanyeol doesn’t stay to hear the rest of the young actor’s words. He can’t let Baekhyun leave tonight because he screwed up Christmas, he can’t let New Year’s pass by a failure, too.

 

He runs out in his house slippers and unkempt hair and halts outside Baekhyun’s door, knocking a little too frantically, afraid he’s too late. He doesn’t stop until he hears the locks open and then he freezes.

 

The door swings open and then Baekhyun’s there—caramel-colored hair as disheveled as his, small frame covered by an extra large cotton t-shirt, toes peeking from the hem of pajama bottoms at least three sizes too big for him. His face is bare and there are shadows under his eyes but Byun Baekhyun is still as breathtaking as the first time Chanyeol laid eyes on him.

 

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun asks, bemused.

 

“You’re wearing that to the party?”

 

“What party?”

 

Looking at Baekhyun, it’s obvious there is no party.

 

“Where’s Dr. Choi?”

 

Baekhyun raises an eyebrow. “He’s not here.”

 

There’s no doctor, either. Kyungsoo, you devil.

 

“Chanyeol, did you hit your head? What are you talking about?”

 

The younger man opens his mouth and he really has lots to say but at that moment the love of his life just tilted his head to the side and Chanyeol’s a goner.

 

He just up and scoops the shorter guy in his arms, wrapping his hands around his waist and leans in, capturing Baekhyun’s surprised gasp in a kiss. Chanyeol can feel himself shaking but he tightens his hold, mouth moving over Baekhyun’s lips surely, possessive, excited, but more than a touch surprised that this is happening. And that Baekhyun was letting it happen. He can feel the smaller’s hands run through his hair and end up around his nape, drawing him even closer.

 

Does this mean...?

 

Forever and a half passes. Chanyeol pulls back an inch but his arms never falter in their hold. Baekhyun’s droopy eyes slowly blink open. He stares back at Chanyeol, mirroring the look of wonder and, perhaps, relief, his lips opening and closing though no words were coming out. It made the younger male want to kiss him again (and again). He drags much needed air into his lungs and the momentary sanity that trickles in makes Chanyeol belatedly realize that they’re practically making out in an open doorway where anyone can see.

 

Then it registers that his hands have already made their way under Baekhyun’s shirt, touching smooth skin; one hand at the beginning swell of Baekhyun’s and Chanyeol’s knees almost buckle. What’s more shocking is noticing that Baekhyun’s legs were around Chanyeol’s hips, and the older male’s clinging to him solidly.

 

It has got to be his lucky day because Chanyeol thinks he looks stupidly dumbstruck right now, but Baekhyun still leans in and gives him another kiss. It’s short and isn’t nearly enough but his next words make up for it spectacularly.

 

“Close the door, Chanyeol, or no ravishing will happen,” Baekhyun says against his lips, voice husky and seductive.

 

Damn.

 

Chanyeol immediately steps further into Baekhyun’s apartment, kicking the door close behind him the same time he buries his nose against the male nurse’s neck, breathing him in. Baekhyun smells like fluffy pillows and nice soft comforters and bed…

 

“Bed,” Chanyeol unconsciously croaks out right after Baekhyun playfully bites onto his ear. “Let’s. Bed.”

 

“Hmmm? What?” Baekhyun murmurs, moving on to peppering Chanyeol’s jaw with kisses, returning to his ear and the shell leisurely like it’s not driving Chanyeol insane.

 

“Couch, bed, anywhere… horizontal,” Chanyeol pleads. He’s shaking with want so badly he believes he’ll either drop Baekhyun or bust an artery or both.

 

Baekhyun laughs, resting his forehead against Chanyeol’s, hot breath ghosting over his lips. “See? Now you know what you do to me.”

 

The taller guy isn’t sure what exactly happened between Baekhyun’s living room and his bedroom because his mouth, his hands, his head—everything was occupied with Byun Baekhyun. How can there be room for anything else?

 

What he knows is he’s now lying on his back, completely , breathless, panting, hard—all the adjectives that applies to a man who has got the person of his dreams in bed with him, just as , kissing down his chest and stomach. It’s freezing outside but he’s hot all over, nerves jumping when Chanyeol feels Baekhyun’s lips reach his navel.

 

Chanyeol’s sure he’s about to embarrass himself. If Baekhyun continues to do that mind blowing thing with his hands and mouth, it’ll all be over too soon. With the last ounce of his self-control, Chanyeol grabs onto Baekhyun’s arms and pulls him up so they’re face to face and he can see Baekhyun’s eyes dark with need and his lips swollen from dozens of kisses they’ve shared so far.

 

Chanyeol leans up and kisses the older male again before he pushes Baekhyun on his back, so that he’s the one straddling the shorter man’s hips and hovering above him. He feels mighty proud of the red marks he has successfully planted across his lover’s neck and chest and hips and wow. He sits up and is once again struck speechless with how he’s really there with Baekhyun and not in his kitchen sitting alone and burning in self-hatred.

 

“This is real, right?” he asks in awe. Chanyeol touches the corner of Baekhyun’s mouth where the tiny mole that has caused him sleepless nights is tempting him. He traces the curve of Baekhyun’s lower lip reverently.

 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun answers, biting on the tip of his finger.

 

It’s in that second that Chanyeol’s control snaps, because that is literally so hot he’s about to come. So he breaks down into an incoherent speech on how it’s going to go down.

 

“Okay, yeah so this is how it’s going to go down,” Chanyeol gulps. “I’m—You can’t believe how I’m so happy right now and you’re so beautiful I literally cannot take it. And I want you so much. I want this so much but please understand I’ve been single for two years now and I’ve not been with anyone else. I know right? So I’m telling you now. This isn’t going to be any good because I’m going to come too soon, it’s really partially your fault but no, I’m just not going to last. You don’t know just how—” Chanyeol stops to kiss Baekhyun because he can’t not kiss him when he’s this close and when he looks perfectly wrecked. “So I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, it’ll be the worst time you’ll ever have but I promise, hear me? I promise the next time would be beyond your wildest dreams but for now, I’m going to, I will…”

 

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun says, quite bothered and breathless himself since Chanyeol’s hands haven’t been idle at all during his lengthy monologue. “Shut up and just—”

 

The older guy doesn’t really finish what he’s saying. Instead he moans out loud because Chanyeol finally moves and s inside.

 

“Damn, this is…” Chanyeol tries to describe the feeling of being one with Baekhyun but the emotions are so overwhelming all he can do is hang on tight and give all he can. “Baekhyun.”

 

Baekhyun’s arms go around his shoulders, and he’s holding tight, too, repeating Chanyeol’s name as he continues to drive in, pushing the younger towards the edge faster, goading him with his drawn out whispers of yes, yes, yes.

 

Chanyeol tries his best to take Baekhyun with him, angling his hips just right, making his toes curl against the sheets in pleasure. He times his s with sure against Baekhyun’s length because despite his warning, he does want the other guy to reach completion.

 

And then it happens. He loses it.

 

He wasn’t alone. He hears Baekhyun call out his name brokenly and it has got to be the iest sound he has ever heard this side of heaven. All he can do is rest his head against the crook of Baekhyun’s neck as he rides his , savoring being inside Baekhyun, feeling his heat enveloping him. A few heartbeats later, catching his breath, Chanyeol places a kiss on Baekhyun’s chin, on the center of his lower lip. He can see that pink mouth spread into a tired smile.

 

“Well, that was… lousy,” Baekhyun murmurs, breathless, clearly still not down from his high. “The worst. Didn’t happen for me.”

 

“I told you so,”  Chanyeol says, holding his laughter in for as long as he can. God, he’s so cute.

 

“Yeah, but don’t worry. You still have another chance,” the male nurse answers. “With a little more practice, you can be kind of good.”

 

Chanyeol can’t help it. He lets out a bark of laughter and snatches Baekhyun into his arms, shoulders shaking with hilarity. “Will you practice with me?”

 

“I’ll think about it,” Baekhyun quips but he can’t quite manage to say it with a straight face. He’s grinning and Chanyeol has never felt more content.

 

The shorter guy suddenly turns his head and looks at the clock on the bedside table, making Chanyeol glance at it, too. It’s half past twelve.

 

“I guess, we missed the fireworks,” Baekhyun comments, reaching up and brushing Chanyeol’s unruly nest of dark hair from his forehead.

 

“I don’t think so.”

 

Baekhyun abruptly covers Chanyeol's mouth with his hand. “If you’re going to follow that up with some corny one-liner or something, please stop right there.”

 

Chanyeol chuckles, and kisses Baekhyun’s palm before pulling it down. “You blow me away,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows.

 

“Oh my god, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun says in a falsely exasperated tone. “Just kiss me.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun figures his apartment is currently a mess what with his and Chanyeol’s clothes strewn all over the place and the stack of books that fell when they bumped into it last night on the way to the bedroom.

 

But he’s feeling deliciously weak from being up until dawn, his body lethargic after the, uh, vigorous exercise Chanyeol and him did that he doesn’t want to get up yet. It’s 10am and he’s usually up by seven but it won’t hurt to stay in since he doesn’t have work anyway.

 

He stretches his limbs a bit, careful not to wake the guy wrapped around him in his sleep. Chanyeol’s using his arms as a pillow, head snuggled against Baekhyun’s chest. Baekhyun can barely feel his arm right now and he’ll most likely get cramps there, still, it’s not so bad. As creepy as it sounds, he gets to watch Park Chanyeol sleep and that’s something he’d like to do every morning. The rays coming in from the bedroom windows do the taller man good as they lovingly caress his features, the light and shadows in harmony to make Baekhyun realize once more just how handsome Chanyeol really is.

 

He recalls how fast and rough their first time was and how slow and sweet it was the second time around; different yet both earth-shattering. Chanyeol had been the perfect gentleman, cleaning them both up right after and then jumping on the bed to cuddle with him like a big baby. Remembering gets Baekhyun all thrilled once more. After months pining for him, he finally has Park Chanyeol in his arms.

 

I love you.

 

It’s not even surprising that ‘like’ has turned to love at this point. He has tried to stop himself from falling too hard for him at first but he was no match against Chanyeol’s charms. The younger man’s kind, caring, and sweet. A very good and reliable friend.  Beautiful in every way possible.

 

Yes, he has his quirks. Chanyeol’s pretty clumsy anywhere outside the kitchen. He cries easily during sad movies. And there are times when Chanyeol’s face performs this uncoordinated number while he’s laughing and his eyes and nose twitches to make him look dumb and adorable in equal measure. Yet when Baekhyun’s heart hears that laugh, deep and off-key, the susceptible organ traipses around in glee and excitement that all he can do is raise his arms and surrender.

 

Baekhyun had planned to talk to Chanyeol after the New Year’s, giving him time to think things through, and, maybe, the chance to apologize for what he did on Christmas eve. He did not expect Chanyeol to knock on his door last night and, literally, sweep him off his feet. Not that he didn’t like that or everything that came after.

 

Chanyeol murmurs something in his sleep and Baekhyun looks down to see him scrunch his nose and bury it deeper against Baekhyun’s bare torso. It tickles and breathless laughter spills from his lips. It wasn’t loud but it was enough to seduce Chanyeol to consciousness. Baekhyun bends down and lightly kisses the top of the younger male’s head.

 

“Good morning,” Baekhyun greets the other guy. It’s amazing how he doesn’t feel shy being in bed and glued to Chanyeol.

 

“Good morning, Nurse Joy,” Chanyeol greets back, voice still gruff from slumber. His large eyes are still half-closed but he’s smiling widely.

 

“You look the proverbial cat who got the cream,” the older male observes, pulling on Chanyeol’s ear when his grin grew wider.

 

“Well, I did get it. Lots of it,” he answers with a suggestive wink and then promptly laughs out loud.

 

Baekhyun gasps in mock distaste, pushing the other guy’s face away, before he moves to get off the bed. But Chanyeol doesn’t let him escape. The taller man circles his waist from behind and pulls Baekhyun back against him, nuzzling his cheek and jaw. Then Chanyeol’s large hands begin to travel across the expanse of his smooth stomach, one going lower and lower until Baekhyun’s body quickly stirs to life. The younger male isn’t too far behind for he can feel Chanyeol's desire against the back of his thigh.

 

“I’m hungry,” Chanyeol breathes into his ear and Baekhyun shivers in response.

 

“There’s, uh, there’s…” The male nurse is having a hard time recalling what food there is in his kitchen. He unknowingly shifts to the side and gives Chanyeol better access to his neck. “Cereal… bread… peanut butter…?”

 

“I’d rather have you for breakfast.”

 

Okay, who was he to deny this when he wants the same thing? Baekhyun can’t hold back anymore. Like always, whenever he tells himself that he shouldn’t get in too deep, Chanyeol tears down his defenses until he can’t do anything but fall a little bit further.

 

Baekhyun turns and faces Chanyeol, cupping his face and kissing him. He pours his heart into it, lips slanting against Chanyeol’s firm and sure; endless.

 

“Baek?”

 

The couple on the bed continue to kiss and heatedly touch each other.

 

“Hey, Baek, you here?”

 

Baekhyun hears it but he was too busy to pay attention. He’s focused on Chanyeol on his lower lip to even wonder why the younger man is calling him and asking if he was there because of course he was there, who else would Chanyeol be kissing and…

 

The shorter male’s eyes abruptly opens.

 

“Seriously, are you going to sleep the new year away?” the voice asks with a chuckle.

 

Chanyeol probably heard it too because his lips pause and he pulls back, eyes round and staring at Baekhyun’s equally surprised ones. They hear a rattle of keys and footsteps on the floorboards. They come closer and closer, stopping just outside the bedroom door.

 

Baekhyun only had time to sit up and throw the sheets over them when the door opens and a man enters the room.

 

“Baekbom!” Baekhyun squeaks. He watches his brother’s eyes register shock and then embarrassment at what he walked in upon.

 

“I’m sorry. I’ll just wait for you outside.” The older Byun boy promptly closes the door and leaves the couple to scramble for their clothes.

 

“Is that your brother?” Chanyeol asks while hopping into his jeans. “Should I fear for my life?”

 

“No, but you better stay here just in case,” Baekhyun replies, hurrying to don his pajama bottoms and his shirt. He arranges his hair into some semblance of order before he goes out to face his brother.

 

He finds Baekbom sitting comfortably on the couch, legs outstretched and crossed at the ankles. Two years older, he resembles Baekhyun, but with broader shoulders and a taller stature. He looks up when Baekhyun walks over and then grins evilly at his disheveled appearance.

 

“So, finally a new boyfriend, huh?”

 

Boyfriend. That word.

 

“No,” Baekhyun says. He realizes he really can’t call Chanyeol that can he? They weren’t even dating. He’s in love with Chanyeol and they slept together but, “No, he isn’t my boyfriend.”

 

Baekbom frowns. “Then what was that?”

 

“I—I’m honestly not sure.” After last night, what were they? They haven’t talked about it at all. It’s just because we had no time. That’s it.

 

“Are you okay?” his brother asks, standing up. “You’ve gone pale.”

 

“I’m okay. What are you doing here?” Baekhyun asks.

 

“Wow, I feel so welcome?”

 

“Cut it out. You know you’re always welcome here.” Baekhyun gives his brother a quick hug. “What are you doing here really?”

 

Baekbom pats his brother’s head. “Visiting my favorite brother of course.”

 

“I’m your only brother. Seriously, did something happen? How’s mom and dad?”

 

“They’re both fine enjoying their cruise, no need to worry,” Baekbom answers reassuringly. “I was just in the neighborhood, inspecting a construction site.”

 

“At new year’s?” Baekhyun inquires, suspicious.

 

“Yes at new year’s. Stop doubting me!” Baekbom playfully punches the younger male on the shoulder. “So… if that guy’s not your boyfriend, what was that back there?”

 

Before the male nurse can reply, he sees his brother’s eyes stray to something behind him. Baekhyun’s startled when a hand rests against the small of his back. He peeks up at Chanyeol who appeared beside him, looking more properly put than he was.

 

“Hi! Sorry, it took me long to come out. I was washing up,” Chanyeol says. He glances down at Baekhyun and raises his eyebrows expectantly.

 

“Oh, yes, um,” Baekhyun begins to stumble through an introduction. “Baekbom this is Park Chanyeol, my, um, friend. He lives across the hall. Chanyeol, this is Byun Baekbom, my older brother.”

 

There’s a second of utter silence. He doesn’t know why but Chanyeol steps back and the hand on his waist disappears. Baekhyun sees Chanyeol lose his easy smile as he shake hands with his brother. Baekhyun feels his stomach lurch in dread because Chanyeol’s wearing that expression again. That shattered look he had on Christmas Eve before he left.

 

“Nice meeting you, Chanyeol. I’d like to chat more but duty awaits.” The older man picks up his coat from the couch’s armrest. “I just wanted to see how my little brother was doing.”

 

Baekbom turns to his brother. “Mom and Dad are going to be back this Monday. Be sure to visit, okay?” The younger man nods. “You take care now, sport.”

 

Baekhyun sees his brother to the door and the older guy gives him and Chanyeol a small wave before he leaves. The male nurse feels his throat close up in apprehension and he’s reluctant to face Chanyeol, afraid that his expression hasn’t changed. He’s right to be anxious for the taller boy doesn’t waste time collecting all his things and making his way to the door.

 

He’s leaving? Chanyeol’s walking out on him again without another word? The frustrations of the past week come back in full force and Baekhyun can’t stop himself from slamming the door shut before Chanyeol can reach it.

 

“Really? This again?” he asks. Chanyeol doesn’t answer and just moves to stare at the door mat, causing Baekhyun’s hackles to rise. “Are you really just going to leave again?”

 

The younger man’s raises his eyes to meet his but remains close lipped.

 

“Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?” Baekhyun asks, leaning tiredly against the door. “I can’t second guess you. I’m not a mind reader, Chanyeol.”

 

“I’m not, either!” Chanyeol finally retorts, looking as frustrated as he was. “I don’t get this.”

 

“I don’t get it, either! How am I supposed to?” Baekhyun holds his palm out. “You don’t tell me anything. You always walk out on me.”

 

“Because you’re confusing,” the younger answers, voice tight. “Tell me. What are we, really, Baekhyun?”

 

Was Chanyeol saying he was the one at fault here when he was the one who couldn’t make up his mind? “I’m confusing? Why don’t you answer what we are?”

 

“You’re still asking me that?” Chanyeol stalks closer until he’s towering over Baekhyun, “After last night?”

 

“Because last night could just be us getting carried away by the moment. It could be anything,” Baekhyun answers, a painful lump forming in his chest at the possibility. Or nothing. If you don’t tell me, I’m scared that last night could just be casual to you.

 

“I knew it,” Chanyeol says. “This won’t work.”

 

Park Chanyeol was worth a thousand tries but Byun Baekhyun was obviously not.

 

“Yeah, well, I knew it, too.”

 

The taller man turns away and reaches for the doorknob and Baekhyun wordlessly steps aside, eyes hurting from keeping his stupid, stupid tears at bay. You’re not going to cry, he tells himself.

 

He can feel Chanyeol stare at him for one moment before the other male opens door and leaves, almost slamming the door shut. The ensuing silence is deafening and Baekhyun chokes on a sob. He just set a new record. He got dumped even before there was an actual relationship. Yay.

 

He rubs his arms to get the sudden chill out. It felt so warm with Chanyeol in his apartment but now he’s trembling with the cold. Baekhyun starts trudging toward his room, intent on burying his heartache in his bed and never getting up again. But he pauses when he heard someone knocking on his door.

 

Baekhyun doesn’t want to deal with anything else right now and was about to ignore whoever it was but hearing Chanyeol calling his name from outside changes his mind fast enough. He does hesitate for a second before he turns the knob, not knowing what to think, afraid to hope yet can't really fight the need to hear what more the other man has to say.

 

Even if Chanyeol came back only because he left something. (Or to, maybe, return Baekhyun’s heart whole, please.)

 

Be thankful I’m in love with you, you idiot, Baekhyun thinks helplessly as he opens the door wide, steeling himself for the worst.

 

“I’m sorry!” Chanyeol blurts out. And just like last night, Baekhyun’s scooped into a tight hug, large hands secure around his waist. “I’m sorry. I didn't mean it. I’m sorry.”

 

Chanyeol apologizes repeatedly, each word full of remorse muffled against the crook of Baekhyun’s neck. Baekhyun can feel the brush of Chanyeol’s lips against his skin and he closes his eyes. He can barely breathe but he doesn’t escape. He figures he doesn’t even want to. He tiptoes and his arms wrap around Chanyeol’s neck, returning the hug just as tightly.

 

He’s so weak. He has never felt like this. Giving up a relationship has always been easy. But now, Baekhyun knows, even if loving Chanyeol’s maddening, he’ll still give him a thousand tries, a thousand chances. Oh god, he sounds awfully like a Korean Drama and he tells himself that’s the only reason why his eyes are damp with tears.

 

“I’m so sorry. I’m in love with you. Please.”

 

The older male stills. “What did you say?”

 

Chanyeol pulls back a bit and cups the side of Baekhyun’s face. “Wasn’t it obvious?”

 

The shorter man is still reeling from the unexpected confession. “I—no.”

 

“I’m in love with you,” Chanyeol repeats, eyes searching into his. “I’ve been in love with you since the first day you moved in and flattened my toe with your leather trolley bag.”

 

Baekhyun recalls that episode months ago. He was carrying a large box with his right hand while he drags a heavy trolley bag with the other, vision obstructed as the elevator doors open at the sixth floor. He came from his duty and he was exhausted. He wasn’t too aware of his surroundings, much less the rather tall guy who was entering the carriage as he was going out. All he heard was a pained yelp and in surprise, he dropped his box, which thankfully only contained his bed sheets. He turned and saw Chanyeol for the first time, grimacing in pain while hopping on one foot.

 

“You looked pained the first time we met.”

 

Chanyeol runs his thumb tenderly across Baekhyun’s cheek. “Well, that was me falling in love with you.”

 

“Park Chanyeol,” Baekhyun says, hand finding Chanyeol’s ear and taking his frustration out with a hard tug on it. “I have no time for playing around. I can’t—”

 

“I’m perfectly serious.” Chanyeol tips Baekhyun’s face up and steals a short kiss from his pouting lips. “I’ve never been as serious about anybody in my life.”

 

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” Baekhyun remembers the days he has spent being tied into nervous and heartsick knots because he wasn’t sure about Chanyeol’s feelings or if he even has feelings. “Why did you keep on walking away from me?”

 

“Because you’re Byun Baekhyun.”

 

“I’ve been Byun Baekhyun for 25 years,” he answers indignantly, pretending that his heart isn’t beating it’s life out with Chanyeol’s confession. “Make it clear.”

 

Chanyeol sighs and gently leads Baekhyun inside the apartment. He leans back against the closed door and gathers the smaller guy again in his arms, tucking Baekhyun’s head under his chin.

 

“Talking about this… it’s difficult for me,” Chanyeol starts. “You see, I am in love for the first time with an amazing guy and I wanted to take care of him and pamper him as he deserves to be. But this guy used to date successful people, doctors who excel in their field, while here I was with nothing yet to my name. How was I to compete?”

 

Baekhyun makes a sound of protest and would’ve answered Chanyeol because how could he be thinking like this? But the taller male shushes him.

 

“Let me finish first, Baek. You know how I am with opening up and all. I want to explain everything because if you start talking, I’ll get distracted and all I’ll end up doing is kissing you senseless to shut you up.”

 

Baekhyun murmurs against Chanyeol’s shirt. “You don’t want to? Kiss me?”

 

“Damn it, I do,” Chanyeol replies and Baekhyun can feel him place a kiss on top of his head. “But kissing would inevitably make me want to do more and we’ll not have this talk we badly need.”

 

“I guess so.”

 

“I just want to tell you why I kept on, as you say, walking away.” Chanyeol takes a deep breath before continuing. “I was jealous of Dr. Choi and everyone else who knew you before I did. I was mad because he can call you Baekhyunnie and you’ve got a history with him and I can’t do anything about it. But the one that crushes me the most was every time you called me your friend and know that it’s the truth. Baekhyun, I don’t want to be just the friend who lives across from you.”

 

Baekhyun gasps as he realizes how much he inadvertently hurts Chanyeol every time he says that.

 

“I meant to work harder so I can be deserving of you. But I couldn’t keep myself away any longer and last night happened. It was never just meaningless .” Chanyeol straightens up and looks into Baekhyun’s eyes. “It was the best night of my life. Do you get it now?”

 

Baekhyun nods. He feels his chest constrict at Chanyeol’s honest expression, his gaze full of sincerity, and he can see it now--open affection and yes, love. Because that’s the same one he sees when he’s looking into a mirror and he suddenly thinks of Chanyeol. He reaches up and captures Chanyeol’s lips with his in a slow kiss. He pours his heart into it, slanting his mouth so he can go deeper.

 

He draws back only when he’s out of breath, when he feels he’s busting at the seams. He doesn’t completely pull away, his mouth still brushes against Chanyeol temptingly. His voice, when he speaks, is hoarse with want.

 

“My turn.”

 

Chanyeol stares down expectantly at him.

 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t fall in love with you the first time we met.” Baekhyun breaks into a small smile at Chanyeol’s disappointed pout. “I need to tell you why.”

 

He steps back and holds onto Chanyeol’s hand, pulling him further inside his apartment until they get to the couch. Baekhyun gestures for the other to sit before he takes his place in front of Chanyeol, sitting on the low coffee table so he can see the younger male’s face while he speaks.

 

“I have been in four relationships and, you are right, they’ve all been with successful, career-driven people.” Baekhyun takes Chanyeol’s hands in his and places them on his lap, something he can hold on to. “But the thing was, none of them worked. Do you know why?”

 

“Why?” Chanyeol asks quietly.

 

“Because I always had to compete with ‘promotions’ and ‘career opportunities’. And I always end up as the second choice.” Baekhyun can feel Chanyeol’s hand caress his comfortingly. “I ask myself why they always leave and all I could think of was that I wasn’t enough.”

 

“That’s not true!”

 

“That was why I was so afraid to fall for someone again. Because getting left behind doesn’t feel nice at all.” Baekhyun shakes his head. “But here’s where you come in. You were so… charming, so likeable.”

 

The male nurse moves closer to his friend. “But I figured I was safe. I had my walls up securely the first few months we’ve become friends that I told myself no matter how cute you were in your uniform and… no matter how nice it feels to cuddle beside you. I wouldn’t fall in love.”

 

He sees Chanyeol beginning to grin so he pokes him on the forehead.

 

“Do not look so smug. I went through absolute hell. You were all sorts of confusing. But yes, you know what happens next.”

 

“You fell for me.”

 

“I did,” Baekhyun admits. “I refused to acknowledge the feeling until that night you appeared on my door looking worried because you found out that I was sick. You asked to go home early from work so you can take care of me and for the first time… it’s the first time I ever felt that I won.”

 

Baekhyun hates that his voice had wobbled at the end. He feels embarrassed because he sounded so weak but he forgets it when Chanyeol frees his hands from his and grabs onto his shoulders.

 

“With me, you don’t have to compete,” Chanyeol says solemnly. “You’ll always be the first and you’ll always be enough.”

 

“Even if I tell horrible jokes and force you to watch tragedies?”

 

Chanyeol nods.

 

“Even if I can’t cook? I’d want to try if you’ll let me in your kitchen.”

 

Chanyeol scoots forward until he can rest his forehead against Baekhyun’s. “I don’t care if you can’t cook. I can do it for the both us. About letting you touch my stove… I’ll think about it.”

 

The last part makes Baekhyun laugh. “Thank you.”

 

“Accept me, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol leans in and places a soft kiss on his cheek. “I can’t offer much but I would do everything I can to make you happy.”

 

“You know, you don’t need to prove anything more.” It’s Baekhyun’s turn to cup Chanyeol’s cheeks. “I love your eyes and how large they get when you’re surprised or when you know you’ve done something wrong. I love your hair and how fluffy it looks early in the morning. I love your mouth and the way you say name when you lose at Mario Kart.”

 

“I never lose, you just always cheat!” Chanyeol butts in.

 

“I love your ears and the way they redden when you’re embarrassed. I love that you always smell like pastries, my favorite food in the world.”

 

“If I told you every single thing I love about you, would you realize?” Baekhyun drops a tiny kiss on Chanyeol’s nose. “I love you just like this, Chanyeol.”

 

The younger man looks speechless for a second before he snatches Baekhyun into an embrace, and Baekhyun can’t help but cling to him. It’s going to be okay. They’ll be okay.

 

“That has been a nice speech,” Chanyeol whispers into his ear. “But I won’t be outdone.”

 

The taller guy puts Baekhyun down on the couch and stands up, assuring Baekhyun he’d be back in three seconds then running out of Baekhyun’s apartment into his. Chanyeol comes back, panting, after ten seconds, late but forgivable since he’s holding out a thin, rectangular box with a gold ribbon tied around it.

 

“I wasn’t able to give this to you last Christmas, sorry.” He hands it over to Baekhyun and urges the elder to open it.

 

Baekhyun unties the ribbon carefully, feeling inexplicably nervous and giddy at the same time. He takes the lid off and finds a copy of a local release of the Bon Appetit magazine inside. Stuck on the cover was a post it with Chanyeol’s loopy handwriting.

 

Because my world looks crazy beautiful when I’m with you.

 

The male nurse glances up at the anxious looking assistant patissiere. “Chanyeol—”

 

“I put a bookmark, um, on a page… go on and read please.”

 

Baekhyun sets the box down and opens the magazine to the part where the marker was. It’s a feature on the restaurant Chanyeol’s working for. At the corner of the second page was a short piece on the restaurant’s best offering.

 

… a cupcake with fresh strawberries on top and a unique caramel sauce. This masterpiece of a dessert is the brainchild of a bright and upcoming patissiere, Park Chanyeol. So when you visit the place, don’t forget to have a taste of Joy.

 

 

“You didn’t…” Baekhyun trails off, not knowing what to say.

 

“I named it after you, of course, Nurse Joy.”

 

Baekhyun places the magazine back inside the box, reading the note once more before facing Chanyeol. He only waits a heartbeat before he quite literally jumps on Chanyeol, wrapping his limbs around him aggressively.

 

Though his kiss, when he gives it, is tender. The feeling, when Chanyeol holds him close, is almost like being in love for the first time.

 

“Congratulations on the feature,” Baekhyun says. “You get to have all of me today.”

 

Chanyeol frowns. “Just for today?”

 

“For everyday.” Baekhyun laughs at how easy he sounds the he kisses Chanyeol’s ear before he whispers seductively into it. “Now let me show you how much more crazy beautiful your world can be.”

 

“To the couch? Bed? Anywhere horizontal?” Chanyeol jokes but it ends with a moan when Baekhyun a stripe up his jaw. “Baek, oh damn.”

 

Baekhyun chuckles again. He’s just so happy. “As long as it's you. Anywhere is good.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is where the story of Park Chanyeol and Byun Baekhyun ends. Hallelujah, they’re finally dating.

 

But, no, let’s not call it the end.

 

Again.

 

This is where the story of Park Chanyeol and Byun Baekhyun continues.

 

They still have Grocery Days, Movie Nights and Sunday Breakfast together. They still complain about Kyungsoo and Jongin’s over the top sweetness (not realizing they’re basically the same, or even worse). Baekhyun, to Chanyeol’s dismay, still tells lame hospital horror stories and Chanyeol, to Baekhyun’s distress, still thinks that About Time is a better movie than Miracle.

 

To be honest, nothing has really changed.

 

Maybe, except for the y times.

 

(Lots of it, if Chanyeol can manage.)

 

And the fact that not a day passes when Baekhyun doesn’t lean up to kiss Chanyeol’s chin to say I love you and Chanyeol doesn’t bend down to catch that kiss with his lips and say a reverent I love you more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a/n:

if you don't know nurse joy... why?

and did you know that nurse joy has a ((CHAN))sey pokemon (ily lia for the connection lol)

AHAHAAHAHAHAH BELIEVE ME IM SO SO SORRRY T^T