Winter ... Do you know why I adore you?
He walked me home. It was snowing and our hands never parted as our arms swung back and forth.
"Winter is my favorite season." He broke the silence. I turned to him with a curious look. "Why?"
"Which season do you think suits love the most?" he turned to me with attentive ears. "Spring?" I stated the obvious.
"Women think spring is the most romantic season ... Men don't have a special one." I had a puzzled look. "But I do believe winter is the one that suits love the most." I smiled; he is an open person who shares what's on his mind. One of the reasons I admire him for.
"What makes you think it is?" It wasn't a real topic, but hey! A perfect match is one that holds meaningless speeches but still enjoy it. I admit it; it was romantic what he says.
"I'll make you experience it." He tightened his grip on my hand looking straight into my eyes. "I'll wait for it." I sounded calm, but my heart was pounding as I barely saved my face from blushing, thank you weather!
We parted next to my door. I invited him in but he declined saying it was too late and I needed to rest. He approached me and I closed my eyes. I felt his lips on my forehead. I looked up to his eyes, his warm smile brightened the dark night. We bid farewell and I walked inside. I rushed to my window observing his back slowly disappearing. It was a new chapter being written.
We couldn't meet up everyday. It doesn't mean we met once a week. It means we didn't meet a day or two in a week. Phone calls decreased my longing for him.
It was a Friday, the last day of week. As a normal winter day, it was raining, the sky was grey and the streets were almost empty if not some umbrella walking here and there. I didn’t receive a call or even a text from Seung Gi, I gave my phone a glare. “Your boyfriend is ignoring you?” Eun Ji smirked seeing my blushing cheeks. “He wouldn’t dare … I mean I don’t have a boyfriend.” She shook her head with a side glare. Lee Seung Gi, you better show up somehow.
I prayed for the rain to stop but it didn’t listen. I waited some time but it started raining more. I looked at my phone, what is he doing?
The morning was chaos. The strong wind broke my umbrella and I had to run to the office. But still, I was a little soaked. ‘I’m having a bad luck today, my umbrella broke, and it’s raining a lot.’ I texted Seung Gi. I was expecting him to drive me home later, but my hope crashed.
I took a step outside, expecting to be drenched but nothing. I looked up and found an umbrella over my head, following the arm that was holding it to a shoulder to a smiling face. “What were you doing inside?” He asked me. I hugged him in a rush. “I thought you were ignoring me, and I didn’t want to get wet.” I pulled away and looked to his eyes.
He put an arm around my shoulders pulling me closer to him -it was needed with the cold weather.
"Where is your car?" We were walking for too long. "I left it home."
"Why?" I shouted frustrated. "I always wanted to do this." He shined with his smile. "Do what?" I blinked my eyes. "Walking in the rain ... With my girlfriend ... Sharing an umbrella." We stopped as he turned to my astonished face. "The first reason I love winter."
We were in front of a building. "My house is closer to your workplace. You should change your clothes and warm yourself. Otherwise you'll catch a cold." He offered leading me in. "But you can drive me home now." I reasoned. I was actually nervous at the idea of staying in his house. "Are you turning down a dinner invitation?" I looked at him innocently; he knows I can't say no to food.
"I'll cook." It was tempting. I nodded my head walking inside the building.
His house -three rooms apart- had a warm feeling to it. The furniture was a mix of different shades of grey. Some white could be seen. It was a normal man's style.
"You don't like the décor?" He gave me his little pout. I shook my head. "No it's nice, but ... It's nice." I shook my hands. It misses some feminine touch.
"The shower is there … to warm yourself. You can wear this." He handed me a pajamas -his. "The towels are inside the closet, and the hair dryer is in the last room to the left." I walked inside and he went somewhere.
It was refreshing, and the shower was needed. My stomach started claiming its rights. I rubbed it and walked outside in that super large pajama. I walked to the room he mentioned. It was his, double size king bed, modern furniture made with wood, a large mirror on the closet's door.
As I walked outside, the smell of food made my stomach growling. I walked to the kitchen, Seung Gi in a white apron and focused on cooking: my new favorite view in the world. Well second, the first goes to his topless view. Okay, okay, third, the second must be him with children.
"Hey, help me preparing the table." I did as he asked and served the table. He brought the dishes and placed them on table. We both sat and I rolled my sleeves -they were hiding my hands.
"It's so good." The hot porridge was indeed delicious. I helped myself with the side dishes. "Did you buy the kimchee?" It was perfect, and I wanted to buy the mark he uses. "No, my mother sends it to me. It's good, isn't it?" I nodded; it really had a motherly taste to it. I wondered what my mother could be doing, is she okay?
I insisted to do the dishes.
I walked to the sink with my oversized clothes, he burst in laughter. "You're so skinny, the pants is about to fall." He started tearing up from laughing. I pulled the pants up, it was really big.
"Let me help you." he put his arms around my waist –hugging me from behind, my face turned red. He pulled the pants up and kept in place with an apron. “You’re doing the dishes, you need it.” He smirked sitting on a chair staring at me.
I avoided his eyes and did the dishes. When I was done, I rubbed my two hands together and blew on them. I watched him standing up the corner of my eyes. He took my hands in his –that were so warm, and blew on them. He lifted his eyes to meet mine with a warm smile. “Cold weather allows little gestures to warm our hearts,” he said in low tone, “the second reason.”
He then dragged me to the living room and sat me on the couch. “Wait here for a moment.” Before he left, he covered me with a blanket. I watched him running to the kitchen.
“Here.” He handed me a mug filled with hot chocolate and placed a second one on the table before us. He went somewhere and came with a CD. “Are we going to watch a movie?” He nodded to my question. “What type of movie?” I fear thriller, and hate action and Sci-Fi. What is left are melo, and rom-com. What can I say? I have a typical girl’s taste –normal girls!
“Paranormal activity, did you watch it?” He watched my face changing. “Cameras in a house recording any abnormal activity? … yes!” It wasn’t an enthusiastic answer.
“I hate them too.” He confessed. “I’m afraid of ghosts and staff.” I giggled while he shivered –remembering something I guess?
“The notebook!” He said with a huge smile.
“You don’t like it?” I shook my head. “I love it, no matter how much I watch it; I won’t get bored with it.” I did, it made him happy. He sat next to me, covering himself with my blanket. “Cold, cozy nights, warm blankets and hot chocolate, the perfect definition of romance. Another reason!”
“You forgot a marathon of romance films!” I added.
The movie is about a grandfather who tells a granny the story of two love birds, in the end, it appears that he was the concerned guy and the lady is that granny that is diagnosed with Alzheimer. When he tells her that the two protagonists didn’t end up together, she regains her memory, remembering clearly that they got married and are still together, though, unfortunately it won’t last.
“I want to grow old with the woman I love.” I felt a knot in my stomach. “And I love you.” He took my hand planting a gentle kiss on it. My eyes never leaving his smile that radiated in the dark night.
“Cheers.” We gulped our hot chocolate then turned to each others. We both burst in laughers.
“Your lips are covered with chocolate.” He pointed. “Did you see yours?” I groaned. I took my hand to wipe my mouth but he grabbed it. “Let me help us.”
He let go of my hand and cupped my face squeezing my cheeks and pecked my lips then parted with an adoring gaze. He smiled as to ask permission and I granted it by smiling back.
He leaned again catching my upper lip while his one hand left my face to travel around my back. My hands that clenched to his shirt in the beginning walked to his neck tousling his hair.
He let go of me before things took another turn. “I think I should go home.” I whispered my arms still around his neck.
“You can spend the night here;” he offered and I blushed, “I’ll prepare another room for you.” I rejected his offer pretending to be too tired. “That’s why I’m asking you to spend the night here; I’ll drive you to work tomorrow.”
I watched him fixing the bed in a second room, he told me Joon Young spends some nights here when he’s going through some troubles.
“Good night.” He said, standing in front of the door. “If you need anything, I’m in the next room.” He tousled his hair.
Just as he was about to exit, we heard a knock. He walked to the door and I followed after him. “It’s Joon Young.” He whispered in panic. “What should we do?” I asked a little uneasy.
A few days ago, Joon Young asked me whether I have a boyfriend; I denied it applying to Seung Gi’s request to keep it a secret. “I think Seung Gi is dating, but he keeps lying about it.” I took advantage of his blunt remark to ask how he knew. “He’s always happy.” It’s a bit vast, “He’s a cheerful and happy person, but lately, you can see him radiating.” I chuckled all goofy and proud.
He took my wrist and dragged me to his room. “Stay here, and don’t make a noise.” He said before closing the door. A while later he came back. “He’s sleeping; I told you it’s a habit of his to stop by whenever he’s drunk.”
I think he came to realize we were locked in his bedroom alone since he looked away. “I’ll put a mattress on the floor, you can use my bed.” He insisted to sleep there, but it was too cold, and I honestly wanted to try his arm pillow.
I managed convincing him to share the bed, it was easy, hello! He got me. Sorry, ignore me.
Anyway, he offered me his arms that I gladly took. Silence took place and we stayed for a while, cuddling and staring elsewhere but each other.
“Cuddling like this in winter has a special charm, isn’t it?” He broke the silent and turned slowly to face me. I nodded pulling myself closer to his embrace. “In this cold night, the warmness that fills each other’s heart can be very useful.” I listened to his soothing and gentle voice. “Another reason?” I asked and he nodded. “You gave too many reasons today, safe some for later.” I joked; he closed his eyes tightening his grip on me.
I barely woke up that day, it was two days before Christmas, and the falling rain made it difficult for me to part with bed. It was winter break and Seung Gi invited me to a mountain stay. I knew for sure that he is a person who loves traveling. It’s a good thing since people say that people who do not travel, know nothing about life. It was exciting, I hadn’t seen him in a week and our last date was him walking me home.
It was still seven in the morning. I heard a knock on the door thus walked lazily toward it. I’m stupid for not peeking through the peel whole, or at least checking myself before opening.
I met his drop jaw and wide eyes, ! I hurried to the bathroom fixing myself as I shouted for him to enter.
“What is so funny?” We were on our way to where he wanted us to go; the ride was filled with silence and his continuous giggles. “Nothing.” He zipped his mouth but his dimple appeared proving he was still laughing. I hit his shoulder. “What was that for? It hurts.” I gave him a glare and turned the other way. The rest of the ride wasn’t silent. He the radio, the DJ had perfect music for us, calm and romantic ballads. It made me forgive him … a bit.
“Tada.” He opened the door to a medium size house. It looked cozy and since it’s situated in the mountains, we rarely met other human beings.
Seung Gi brought the luggage in as I inspected the house. A Wooden House offers a new and unique concept for luxury, offering all the comforts, proportions and appointments of a normal two-bedroom house, all within a truly tiny footprint.
On the ground floor, there is a well-appointed kitchen finished with granite worktops, a foldaway dining table that seats five, a living room with wood burner and stow away sofa, separate shower and toilet and a master bedroom with king size double bed. The first floor has three full sized single beds arranged around a landing with fold down staircase. “My grandparent’s house.” He told me.
After changing up, I walked down and found him starting the fire. I looked outside the window and saw the falling snow flacks drawing their way down to the ground, a lovely scene.
"Chae Won, aren't we eating?" He asked me, I turned to his crossing arms figure, shaking his head. "You cook!" I gave him an innocent look to make my order a little irresistible. "I'll bring some wood from the forest; everything you need is in the fridge." I blinked my eyes a few times.
"He's expecting me to cook?" I faced the fridge; it had everything from meat to veggies, eggs, milk ... Ect.
"Here you are." I found a treasure; I smirked and started 'cooking'.
"Babe," I jumped at the adoration's title he's using. "I'm back." He put the woods near the chimney, put more in the fire and stretched him arms to warm his hand. I could see his red nose, it's freezing outside.
I walked to him and cupped his face -he has unique chubby cheeks that feel so good. "Your face is cold." He gave me a puppy look. "Dinner?" I remembered my dinner. I pinched his cheeks. "You'll be completely surprised." I exclaimed.
He held a blank expression. "Instant ramen?" He looked at the pot then back to me. "It has eggs in it." I faked a smile. He surprised me by taking his chopsticks and devouring his boll. "Indeed, ramen are the best in this cold weather. They taste much better since you made them." He said with a full mouth. I felt kind of guilty but super happy ... I love you Lee Seung Gi.
"Are we sharing the bed?" He nodded, I looked away blushing. "Cuddling in the cold,” he started, "is one of the reason you love winter." He laid offering his arm pillow that I gladly took.
"I have a program for this little trip." He started. "I'll just tell you that hot drinks, romantic films and novels will be our passion these days."
It was Christmas Eve; Seung Gi woke up early and prepared breakfast. I helped him decorating a plastic Christmas tree. "The decors are cute, did you make them?" It was origami. "They say if you fold one hundred papers into origami your wish will come true."
For dinner, we both cooked. After, our program consisted of watching a new movie released a few weeks ago, 'Today's Love'. It depicts the romance between two young people, and their relationship is as unpredictable as the weather, my new favorite. "This movie is my new favorite." He said and I nodded pulling myself deeper in his embrace after sipping my second hot chocolate.
We were cuddling in bed, his arm embrace was fitting for a nice sleep, I closed my eyes enjoying the warmth. “I have a gift for you.” He said, my eyes flashed open and I sat down. “Where is it?” I was excited for his gift. I put my hands ready to receive something closing my eyes. I felt his lips over mine. “I couldn’t resist, you’re temptation in person.” He smirked. “Your gift is under the tree.”
I ran like a child to the Christmas tree. I found a little package that I ripped the packaging. “It’s beautiful.” My eyes glinted at the silver necklace that held a heart motif that looked like holding a ring. I ran to him and hugged him. “Thank you so much Seung Gi, I love it.” He put both his hands around my waist hugging me back.
I pulled away suddenly and avoided his eyes. “I didn’t … I have nothing to offer you.” I turned away to hide in embarrassment. I heard him chuckling, and then his arms encircled my waist from behind hugging me, his chin rested on the crook of my neck. “You’re my gift; just … don’t give up on me.” I turned and I saw the faint of the smile that occupied his face.
“Let’s go to sleep.” I let him dragging me to the bedroom and settled myself in his arms. I wish time stopped then, I could spend my entire life in his embrace and not getting enough of it.
The week before New Year was magical. “Winter is all about holidays.” He said and I couldn’t agree more. Our days passed, we once made a snowman couple then married the two the next day and made them babies. “One is enough!” I exclaimed and he gave me puppy eyes. “At least two, if we had only a daughter, who will protect her?” He argued. I knew from the look he had while making more than two kids and starting the fourth, he was meaning his real life.
“Men think it’s easy to carry children. If you were a woman, you won’t have even one!” I shouted in his face. “I might, but for a super nice guy like my own self, I can make four sacrifices.” There we go, from here, he started being narcissistic, though he’s right and cuter than usual.
New Year’s Eve finally arrived. I insisted to bake and he offered help. We ended fighting with flour and chocolate. “I gained weight this holiday!” I scanned my body holding a fork and staring at our chocolate cake, ‘Seung Gi & Chae Won forever’ was engraved on it. “You look much better this way.” He bit his bottom lip looking right from the cake to my figure, I felt him eating me with his eyes.
I crossed my arms to hide my body, he looked up to me with innocent eyes then his eyes focused back on the cake. He started stuffing his mouth not caring about me anymore. I furrowed my eyebrows and took the plate from his hands and pulled it closer to me. A fight started, using our forks first as swords then threw chocolate on each other's faces.
We laughed heartedly watching each other’s faces. We were literally panting; we looked at each other and smiled. With his finger, he wiped my cheek and it. I did the same and it continued untill we were kissing each other. The kiss took a serious and passionate turn as he pinned me to the wall, his lips still over mine, and his hand traveling down my back. We moved from a wall to another till we reached the bedroom.
"It's almost midnight." He whispered, we were hugging on the bed, only a blanket covering our bodies. "Let's do the count down together." I suggested. "Don't forget to make a wish!" I nodded waiting the last 10 seconds of 2014.
"10 ... 9 ... 8 ... 7 ... 6 ... 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Happy New Year." We shouted smiling, having the most beautiful time of our live. "I love you." He said in a firm tone pulling me closer. "I love you too."
First day of 2015! "I hope we'll spend the end and beginning of all the upcoming years together." We were eating breakfast, I smiled wishing the same.
"So, what are we doing today?" it was the last day of our holidays, we'll head to Seoul the evening. "A snow fight?" He wasn't sure about it, but it sounded cool. "I'll kick your ." I threatened grinning like a bully kid.
He bore my continuous attacks, once a snow ball landed exactly on his face and he fell back. I felt sorry thus were gentle the next ten hits but then I recovered, bombarding him non-stop.
"It's not fair; you're going easy on me. Don't do that! I'm strong." I scolded him. "Are you sure?" I nodded, I shouldn't have. His first attempt almost broke my back, his second landed on my forehead knocking me down. "Are you okay? Aish, I shouldn't have listened to you!" He put a handkerchief on my nose exerting some pressure on it. He took it off and helped me up. "Bl-blood?" I almost collapsed, I hate seeing blood. He held my waist to support me and walked me home.
“Babe, I’m sorry.” He was apologizing for the hundredth time. Since we went home, I kept on hearing his apologies; he made lunch and made sure I rested. “It’s nothing serious, we were just having fun.” Is there a way to convince him?
Since winter vacation, we haven’t met much. But he never forgot to send me texts that just say “I love you.” “I miss you.” “You mean the world to me.”
It became a habit of mine to burst in laughers during a serious meeting. He told me that one little boy was caught by his girlfriend cheating on her. She started a cat fight with that girl, and they actually pulled each other's hair.
'That's a warning! I'll do much worse if you dare cheating on me.' I imagined the face he made reading it.
'Don't you trust me?' I giggled like a child. 'I don't know … you should do something about it!' I suppressed my giggles. I didn't receive a response, my giggles turned to a glare. Lee Seung Gi, did you dare ignoring my text?
I walked kind of pissed from office. Eun Ji noticed my bad mood. Her instincts told her I'm dating someone, but I denied it. Our relationship was kept a secret, even his close friends didn't know. Thinking about it, I kept having doubts.
I jumped back at the flowers that flushed at my face. Taking them in my hands and lowering them from my face revealed Seung Gi's. "What are you doing here?" I couldn't help it. I answered his bright smile with another.
"Making you trusting me." I scoffed. "I don't think you'll succeed." "Follow me."
He dragged me to his car. We drove for not too long. He pulled next to the hospital. "Are we here to visit Hyeri?" He nodded opening the door for me. He opened the back sit door and took another flower bucket in his hand with chocolate box.
“Oppa … Oh! Unnie!” Hyeri sat straight up. It had been a while I hadn’t seen her; she lost more weight that her bones showed through her skin. I felt bad for not paying her a visit. Seung Gi lean to her level and hugged her, she turned her eyes to me smiling. I walked to her hugging her too.
“Hyeri-ya.” Seung Gi caught her attention. “You remember when oppa told you you’ll be the first to meet my girlfriend, right?” She nodded while he turned to me, stretching his arm to take my hand in his. I shook my hand giving him a glare. ‘Hyeri is looking!’ I wanted to shout. He smiled like it’s not a big deal.
He led me to stand next to him; Hyeri fixed her innocent eyes on us. I swear I never felt guiltier in my life. ‘Don’t steal my oppa unnie.’ I remembered clearly. Seung Gi probably never knew.
“Do you have a girlfriend oppa?” My heart broke at her shaking voice; she was in a state that didn’t allow anykind of heartbreak.
"Hyeri, I want to keep my promise. That's why I'm introducing you to my girl-" Thank you god, while Hyeri was at the verge of crying, someone opened the door shouting and jumping in excitement cutting Seung Gi's words. It was Lizzy, she also knows Hyeri?
"Hyeri, unnie has good news!" she hugged Hyeri than finally noticed us. "Oh, oppa, you came to visit. She's been down lately because you're not visiting." Hyeri's face turned red.
"Really?" He said pinching her cheeks. "Oh, Chae Won unnie, you're also here!" She was slow and spunky. I like her.
"Hi." I waved my hand. "Did you meet oppa? Then he wanted to bring you to meet my little sister?" Hyeri turned to us with her puppy eyes. "We bumped at each other outside, so we came in togheter.
Hyeri visited my Tv station a while ago, and Seung Gi is her teacher ... The world is small." Yes so small, Hyeri is Lizzy’s little sister. He did tell me she's his bestfriend's little sister. He gave me a questioning look, I smiled then looked away.
We stayed until visit time was over. I excused myself and stood to leave. "I'll give you a ride, Ms. Moon." He walked to Hyeri and kissed her cheek. She forgot about earlier, good it might be fatal in her case.
"Why did you lie?" He broke the silence that reigned for a while.
"What do you think you were doing?" I retorted back. "Keeping my promise to her ... gaining your trust?" He made it sound like a question. "She loves you." I shouted, his jaw dropped. "No, I'm just an oppa to he..."
"You might think it's stupid." I cut him. "But she does love you. Don't you know that depression can make her disease worse?" He pulled the car aside in the road. He opened his door and walked outside. I watched him as he walked in circles. I assumed he calmed down when he came back.
The ride back home was silent. “It’s okay, you didn’t know.” I tried lifting his mood. He didn’t reply, but just kept gazing away.
“What can I do to gain your trust?” I wasn’t expecting the question, I undid my seat belt and was about to step outside.
I hesitated at first, but he asked and I wanted one thing. “Making our relationship public, telling our families and friends.” He nodded seemingly understanding. “We should tell Joon Young, he’s our friend.” He frowned and took some time to digest the suggestion. “Okay.”
We had an appointment, same place as last time, with Lizzy and Joon Young.
“I’m sorry I’m late.” I told them, before I joined them; they were laughing teasing Seung Gi. Joon Young stood up and Seung Gi closed his eyes.
“Chae Won, we … I mean what are you doing here?” He asked me, his eyes wide open.
“I invited her.” Seung Gi stood. “She is my …” He couldn’t finish it; he received a punch from Joon Young. “Seung Gi, are you okay?” I crouched down and took his face in my palms.
“So, she is the girl who healed your broken heart with Ga In? The one you wanted to hide!” His words played on my mind. Seung Gi stood up and looked down. “I’m sorry.” He just said, what is going on?
“Jerk.” He said and left, Lizzy ran after him giving us both a up down look.
He walked me home in silence. His eyes told me not to ask a thing, though my mind was filled with Ga In. it wasn’t long after they broke up that we bounded, he could have been down and I was there, like, I filled the empty space.
He kept quiet for a whole week; I was worried he would dump me. I spent all my days trying to figure out what to do.
“He’s ignoring you?” Eun Ji asked, I snapped from my thoughts and tried keeping calm. “Who?”
“Come on, you think I don’t know? Your boyfriend, I saw you twice with him.” My mouth opened to defend myself but didn’t find the right words. “He asked me to keep our relationship a secret.” I confessed. “That means he either has a good reason, or he doesn’t take your relationship serious.”
I was torn in dilemma. Heading home, I jumped seeing Joon Young. He asked for us to talk and I followed him to a café.
“I’m sorry I lied to you.” I said looking down. “Don’t be, I guess Seung Gi isn’t contacting you.” I looked up. “He’s a good man; he gives his all while loving but also falls in love easily.”
“What do you mean?” He smiled. “You better look back at your relationship; he was head over heels for Ga In but still get over her in less than a month.” Less than a week, I corrected in my mind. “She dumped him but he still ran to her helping her for her wedding.” She’s evil? I wanted to highlight.
“I think you should give him some time to make up his mind.” My heart broke, but … but why did you hit him? I didn’t ask that question, but I should have.
I found Seung Gi waiting in front of my building. He looked hopefully to me and ran, but I gave him a side glare and walked past him. I heard him shouting my name, he stopped me asking me what’s wrong.
“Everything is wrong, you and I are wrong, we can’t be!” I said calmly, the coldness in my voice changed his face. “But I love you, and you do love me.” His tone hid despair. “Let’s break up!” I shook my arm from his grip, ignoring his sad expression.
I looked outside behind the curtain, the sunny sky turned grey as rain drops watered the dry ground. As I followed the rain drop, my eyes fell on Seung Gi’s figure already drenched by the rain. It was early February, still winter!
After two hours watching him shiver in cold, I walked down stair with an umbrella. He looked up when he didn’t sense raindrops on his figure.
“What are you doing here?”
“We need to talk.” He stood up, his nose red while the rest of his face pale, tears traces were seen on his cheeks.
“Why are you here?” I tried sounding as cold as ever.
“You still care for me, don’t you? I know staying under the rain will worry you and give me a chance to talk to you.” He smiled, true I was worried, so worried I almost punched his face.
“You have a great experiment with girls!” I said sarcastically. “Use it to date another girl, we are done.” I turned and took some steps away. “If you keep staying here, I’ll call the police.”
I watched him from behind the curtains, hiding his face in his palms. it was the last time I saw him that winter.
I’m sorry I did what I did. As I never forgotten you, and kept on missing you, hoping you show up again, I realized I was so in love with you I couldn’t let you go.
I realized back then that I can’t be like a tree letting go of its leaves, I’m more like the tree that cannot let go of its root, and you are my root … my heart.