Chapter 32.
 

For most of the students and staff at Malhana, the last weeks of the school year seemed to fly by in a flurry of day-to-day motions and occurrences. For the students, the passing of the weeks had been spent in a languid, post-exam bliss. Much of the staff also spent their time in an unworried, relaxed state - it was easy to sit back and unwind when your students had completed their exams without any major mishaps, after all. For most, everything had worked out well.

Kyungsoo, however, felt as though his plate was still just as full as it had been before exams - not only had he had been assigned as an organiser of the yearly end-of-year award night, but he had also found himself getting a rather surprising amount of attention from his colleagues. He hadn't anticipated such a response from his friends when he first broke the news that he was planning on leaving - in his mind, Kyungsoo had always thought that it would be accepted simply and without any sort of  major reaction by anyone - however, Minseok, Yifan and Jongdae had been far more involved than Kyungsoo had ever anticipated. Minseok, who had been an avid traveller before settling into his full-time job, had helped immensely with suggestions and information on places to go and methods of travelling. Yifan, much to Kyungsoo's surprise, was surprisingly savvy and had managed to link him to some rather good flight deals, and Jongdae had bought him some nice, in-depth travel guides that the pair had already spent several hours going through together. Chanyeol, like usual, had been Kyungsoo's anchor to sanity. The dark haired English teacher had been spending most of his evenings at his best friends place, under the guise of giving the taller male cooking lessons before leaving. In reality, they spent most of their time gossiping like old women, drinking cheap wine and watching NCIS far too late into the night. Ever the surprise to Kyungsoo was the fact that Joonmyeon had also become a consistent presence in his life, acting as an unofficial pillar of support. They were in similar emotional situations and Kyungsoo felt close enough to Joonmyeon now that he no longer felt any sort of discomfort around the beautiful acting headmaster - he found it easy to talk to Joonmyeon and in turn, hoped to be able to lessen some of the burdens that Joonmyeon obviously felt. 

It had actually been sort of jarring to Kyungsoo when he realised just how much he was going to miss everyone, a sentiment he mentioned to Joonmyeon one afternoon as they worked together to finalise the organisation of the award night.

"'You don't miss what you have until it's gone', is the proverb that might fit this situation?" Joonmyeon had responded simply as he flicked through a stack of year ten awards with deft fingers. 

Kyungsoo, who had been going through the attendance list with a red pen in hand, let out a huff. "No, no. That implies I'm losing friendships - far too depressing for the situation, Joonmyeon."

The acting headmaster laughed. "Sorry." he leant back in his seat for a moment then, expression turning thoughtful. "Maybe it's surprising because ever since we were young, we've been conditioned to feel as though missing someone and needing someone is inherently a childish thing?" Joonmyeon frowned for a moment. "No, to say it's a childish thing isn't the right way to put it... more like a sign of weakness?"

Kyungsoo's brows furrowed as he considered what Joonmyeon had just said. "I think I get you?"

"I mean, think about how much people who are clingy or needy are perceived - it's always negative, isn't it? But to want to be close to someone isn't a bad thing, especially if they make you happy. Isn't the fact that you're feeling weird about how much you'll actually miss everyone a result of years and years worth of being instilled with the idea that as an adult, you wouldn't, or I suppose, shouldn't, feel such things?"

"That makes sense." Kyungsoo said, his lips pursed. 

Joonmyeon shrugged. "I'm still not sure about these things myself, but I do think that missing someone means that they matter to you, don't you think?" he smiled then. "I think the fact that you realised that you'll miss everyone probably means that you have good, healthy relations with them. That's not a bad thing." He laughed suddenly. "The right proverb for this situation is actually that 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder'?"

"I think we'll have to wait and see if that's actually the case," Kyungsoo said teasingly. "maybe I'll leave and realise that I'm actually better off without you, Joonmyeon."

Joonmyeon rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "How cynical of you."

Kyungsoo laughed before tossing the list of attendees down. "All done. I just hope things run smoothly tonight."

Joonmyeon nodded in agreement. "The awards all seem to be in order too, I'm sure it'll be fine." He looked down at his wristwatch. "We finished up faster than I thought. Shall we go check up on the setup progress in the hall? I need to take these awards down, anyway."

"Sure." Kyungsoo agreed quickly, standing up and reaching over to grab a stack of the finalised awards. 

The two teachers made their way from the staffroom and down a flight of stairs towards the hall in comfortable silence, that was, until Joonmyeon's phone let off a rather loud message alert.

The acting headmaster paused, shooting Kyungsoo an apologetic glance as he shifted the awards he held to one hand and retrieved his phone from his back pocket. Kyungsoo stood a meter or so away, waiting.

Joonmyeon's expression seemed to darken as he read the message and he let out a sigh after a moment. 

"Bad news?" Kyungsoo inquired. 

Joonmyeon sighed again, having already started typing out a reply at a rapid rate with a single thumb. Texting with one hand was always an annoyance. "It's Jongin. He doesn't want to come tonight, but I already put him down as attending."

Kyungsoo felt his brows furrow involuntarily. He hadn't spoken to the teen since he had handed in his resignation letter almost two weeks earlier. They no longer met for tutoring due to the fact that exams were over and Jongin had been unusually quiet in class when he did show up. Kyungsoo tried not to wince upon consideration of his own behaviour towards the teen for the first week or so too - he always acted poorly when he was angered and Kyungsoo felt regretful for his childish actions now that he had cooled off. Hindsight was always a . 

"Is something the matter?" Kyungsoo found himself asking. 

"He say's he doesn't feel well. He's been rather withdrawn for the past week or so, it's strange." Joonmyeon frowned as he tucked his phone away. "I've been going around to my father's place a little more regularly these days to try and spend time with Jongin seeing as he's always alone there. At first, I thought maybe he was feeling overwhelmed by me or something. I don't think that's it, though." Joonmyeon sighed. 

For the past week or so. Certainly the duration of the time Kyungsoo had spent treating him cooly. Kyungsoo tried to school his expression into something less half-tortured. He hated how he was feeling unsettled by the information Joonmyeon had just imparted him with. 

"Ahh," Kyungsoo replied weakly. "I hope it'll work out."

Joonmyeon smiled over his shoulder at him. "I'm sure things will be fine."

Still, the guilt did not seem to dissipate and Kyungsoo was left with a bitter taste in his mouth.

Kyungsoo tucked his freshly pressed white shi