Chapter 29.
EnamouredChapter 29.
Kyungsoo didn’t like to consider himself as someone who fretted, but his current worries were truly proving to be too much for him to deal with internally.
A whole week.
The whole duration of the exam week.
A whole week of skirting edges, rushed conversations, looking around corners, and well timed cancellations. In a situation such as his, Do Kyungsoo had but one setting: extreme.
Avoiding Kim Jongin had been easier than he had expected. Exams made everyone busy – the students, panicked and rushed in their efforts to study last minute, the teachers, with their eleventh hour question altercations and then of course the grading of the papers. When Jongin was free, Kyungsoo was not. When Kyungsoo was free, Jongin was not.
Still – Kyungsoo had truly gone out of his way to avoid the teen. In the times they had encountered one another, Kyungsoo had done his utmost to make their meetings brief. Rather than respond to Jongin’s snarky comments like he would usually, Kyungsoo had supressed his desire to engage in conversation. Any time the teen sought him out, Kyungsoo made sure to make himself unavailable. He cut things off quickly and made swift excuses to get away.
It was exhausting avoiding someone, Kyungsoo quickly came to decide – it was more like a cruel game of hide and seek. Kyungsoo avoiding, Jongin seeking despite being rebuffed. Kyungsoo didn’t know how he felt, either. Confused, jittery, and a little bit angry. He had no idea what to do. For him it was frightening – to be liked by a student so openly. Even thinking about all the consequences such a relationship, even if only one-sided, could have on his career – and on his life – made his blood run cold.
Worrying about what he should do in terms of Kim Jongin’s unexpected confession had, without him even meaning for it, become one of his main concerns – his head had been filled with Jongin since the moment it had happened. Kyungsoo had never been one for confrontation though, and the thought of having to face Jongin in order to reject him made him feel all sorts of awful.
It was precisely the moral dilemma he faced in regards to his student that had led Kyungsoo outside to one of the picnic tables that were scattered around the school grounds for students to use, arms folded across the table, facedown with his eyes closed. Across the table were an assortment of grading materials he had quickly abandoned – pens, several marking criteria sheets and a stack of student’s essays that had been spread out in front of him. His intentions had been well meaning – to clear his head outside and get some work done in his free time, however, they had been short lived – as soon as he sat down, his creeping worries and confusion had begun wreaking havoc once more in his brain.
With his eyes clamped shut tightly, Kyungsoo heaved a sigh into the crook of his arm.
“Kyungsoo!”
Kyungsoo’s eyes flew open and he quickly sat upright, blinking in the afternoon light. He glanced around himself in confusion before finally spotting Joonmyeon, who was heading up the small slope Kyungsoo had walked up only an hour or so earlier.
“Oh, hello Joonmyeon.” Kyungsoo said, “What brings you here?”
Joonmyeon, who had just reached the picnic table Kyungsoo was seated at, lowered himself down gracefully on the bench opposite the dark haired English teacher with a huff. Motioning with a single hand in the direction of the school building, Joonmyeon explained simply: “I was walking downstairs to go back to my office after visiting the staffroom when I spotted you out here through the window. You looked dead and I was concerned.”
Kyungsoo chuckled sheepishly. “I came out here to mark some work but I haven’t managed to achieve much.”
“I deduced that.” Joonmyeon said with a snort, his beautiful features quickly transitioning to that of concern, however. “Is something bothering you?”
For a second, Kyungsoo considered telling Joonmyeon about his current situation – in the end, his rational side convinced him that telling the elder half-brother of the student who had confessed to him would not end well, especially when said elder half-brother was the acting headmaster. That, and the fact that the two brothers were probably still not on the best of terms, despite Joonmyeon’s recent decision to change that as best as he could.
As a result, Kyungsoo instead opted on a half-truth: “I was thinking about my career and life… that kind of heavy, unnecessary stuff.” He smiled half-heartedly. It was sort of true, after all – he had been worrying about how Jongin’s recent actions towards him had the capability to put him into a very difficult situation.
To Kyungsoo’s surprise, Joonmyeon took his statement seriously. “I don’t think it’s unnecessary, Kyunsgoo.” Joonmyeon leant forward, expression thoughtful. “You shouldn’t sell yourself short by having low expectations of your own abilities.”
Kyungsoo blinked owlishly, absorbing what he had just been told. “You think so?”
For a moment, it looked as if Joonmyeon were debating on whether or not he should continue – in the end, he apparently decided to speak his mind. “In all honesty, I really regret where I am now in my life.” Joonmyeon grimaced lightly. “I’m almost thirty and I feel like I’ve fixed myself in place. My father was thirty seven when I was born – he was always too invested in his own career for a family, really, hence his age at my birth. I grew up watching him do nothing but work in his damned company. I didn’t want to become like that which was why I rebelled against him when I finished high school.”
“You rebelled against him?” Kyungsoo quizzed, head tilted in curiosity.
Joonmyeon laughed. “Yes, why do you think I’m a teacher right now?” the acting headmaster straightened up from his previously slumped, dejected position, running a hand through his styled hair. “My father wanted me to enter the company as soon as I graduated, but I didn’t want that… I didn’t want to be like him – always at work, caring about nothing other than earnings, spending more time in an office than with family and friends... I never told him that though, I simply applied for a teaching degree in secret and started attending as soon as I was accepted. He was absolutely livid – he told me that being a teacher was no way to make a life for myself and that I’d eventually see that and more or less come crawling back to him in order to take over the company.”
“Wow. I would have never pegged you as the type to do something like that.” Kyungsoo murmured before smiling across at Joonmyeon, who grinned. Kyungsoo, like all the times it had happened before, was momentari
Comments