The rose is blooming near the window. I leave it open quite often to feel the breeze. It plays with the white curtains as it easies itself into our home. The room is now almost empty of everything, but it’s okay. You know my habit of lying around on the floor with my pajamas still on. Don’t scold me but I’m still not wearing any socks. You know I don’t like them, Eunhye.
Our home is as empty as the first day we moved in. There’s only me and Sehun in front of those white curtains that you used to love so much. He’s helping a lot, you know? If not for him, I’d probably be lying in a corner, reminiscing about the past while the wind blows through the curtains. Maybe at one point I’d get up from my corner, only to lie on the floor… again. My back in touch with the cold tiles. Sehun helps a lot but at times I feel the need to let myself drown in my misery. As much as you’d hate to see me like that, Eunhye.
Your favorite daisies are blooming in our little garden, even though it’s winter. They remind me of you: so strong, yet innocent and pure. Just like you, my graceful Eunhye. But I can’t stand to watch them for too long. So if you’re in the flowers watching me, please don’t hate me for walking away, okay?
Sehun sometimes brings a smile to my face. He’s a great friend. And yet here I am, lying on the cold floor still thinking about you, mia Grazia. I remember how much you loved it when I called you that. And the memory gives my heart a little piece of heavenly peace, Eunhye.
I’ve left your white chair near the window, untouched. I never sit on it. I still like sitting on the ledge, much to your discontent. But hey! You don’t have to scold me anymore. At least, I’m wearing socks. I won’t catch a cold this time, Eunhye.
The house looks different. I take a look to the left and then to the right. Sehun is still there.
I’m wearing that pullover you made for me. The one you were so proud of knitting, even though I first thought it was ugly. Only now do I seem to see its true beauty. Sehun is still there, while spring comes again. In your beloved daisies, I now see butterflies resting and I smile. Spring reminds me of you. So fresh and beautiful, Eunhye.
Your favorite book brings me even closer to you and look… All the flowers are now gracefully blooming! I am too, all thanks to the help of Sehun. But today… today I’m wearing my old pajamas and I lie on the floor again. The coldness of the tiles makes me crawl into a fetal position but I don’t care. I need to feel like this again.
Flowers continue to bloom, life goes on. But I’m stuck in today.
I’m wearing my suit right now. The one that was left unfinished. I look outside the window, hoping to get a glance of you but it’s just wishful thinking. You won’t come to me, will you?
Then I’ll come to you. Wait for me. I’ll come smiling to you, Eunhye…