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Twelve stars. My stars. Falling one by one. 

A gigantic tree standing tall in the middle of floating symbols. 

A world in beautiful peace one moment and in complete and utter destruction the next. 

My tiny hands, being able to do incredible things as long as I was connected to one of them. Did it mean that without them, I had nothing? 

My thoughts drifted in and out of my mind like a babbling brook. Focusing on vague memories and dreams, and then switching to recent events. I tried tying the knots together to make sense of it all, but I got nothing. More questions, that's all, and more feelings of unease. I rubbed my hands together, waiting for D.O. at the park as he asked me to. I still didn't know why I agreed to this after I had decided that I shouldn't involve any of them. 

I looked down at the dark water beneath the bridge I was standing on. I saw my reflection waving in the water, distorting my image. I flashed my eyes a moment, seeing a glimpse of my golden wolf eyes before they turned back to a regular brown. I was starting to get a hang of this, changing consciously from one form to another, that is. But it still took a lot of effort on my part. I had to teach myself to gain control over these abilities. I shouldn't depend on the others, especially since I didn't want them involved in this. 

"Oh man, why am I here?" I asked, feeling conflicted.

"Probably because you're in a pathetic need for someone to talk to," the wavy reflection replied. "And because, in your heart, you know that you are not able to do this alone. Let's face it, you are not exactly the poster child of elegant heroism." 

I sighed and frowned at the me in the water. "So what if I wasn't? I may not understand what the heck is going on around here, but I know that it's not worth dragging those twelve guys down with me! They don't deserve that. No one deserves that." 

"So you're going to cut yourself off from them, pretend like you don't exist?" I didn't like that the me in the water sounded so judgmental- despite the fact that, you know, I was actually arguing with myself... 

"Well, if that's what it takes to keep the people I care about safe, so be it," I then decided, planting my hands on my hips, looking to see what water-Jae would say.

"Worst plan ever, if you ask me." 

I jumped at seeing a water-D.O. appear next to me and I jumped again when I saw the real deal in front of me. D.O. gave a little smirk at my reaction and I flushed a bright red. 

"Where did you come from? I thought Kai was the one with teleportation skills," I said, which made him chuckle. 

"Will you stop comparing me to them? I'm honestly starting to think you're purposely trying to insult me," D.O. replied in his deadpan way, though his eyes were gleaming playfully. His heart-shaped lips then turned into a genuine smile. "Hey," he greeted. 

"Hi," I replied, still feeling embarrassed. "So, uh, how long have you been here?" I asked, fidgeting with my leather jacket. 

"Since "you are not exactly the poster child of elegant heroism"," he answered honestly, smiling again when he noticed my embarrassment. "You seemed to be having an intense conversation, so I thought I'd wait a moment before cutting in," he added, blinking his big eyes innocently at me. 

I relaxed a little bit. "I tend to talk to myself when I'm a little stressed. It helps with trying to rationalize things," I glanced away from him, shuffling my feet and rubbing the back of my head. I scratched my cheek and looked up to face him again, after I remembered what I wanted to tell him first. I had a hunch that D.O. asked me to meet me here to try to convince me to change my mind about going about this by myself, but I was feeling guilty enough as is and making them go along with me in finding the answers was not going to make me feel better. 

"On that note," I started. "I know what you're going to say, but I've made up my mind. I know that we should try to figure this out together, as a pack, but when Lay got shot, I just- it's too much," I said firmly, to show him that I meant every word and to hopefully convince him that I couldn't be persuaded. "You were right, all along. Suho was right to worry about me, to distrust me. I've been thinking about it and all of it doesn't add up. Everything changed since I came here. E.T. Corp suddenly started putting security systems in your forests, all of you have been getting bad vibes, I'm suddenly a wolf, E.T. Corp is suddenly interested in catching wolves, Lay got shot while protecting Kai who was protecting me from that woman, and don't even get me started on all those memories or dreams...I just know that I don't believe in coincidences," I trailed off. "Everything that has happened since I stepped foot on this island is on me, I'm sure of that, and now I've dragged you and your brothers into my mess, and I can't have that. You were all doing perfectly fine before meeting me. I'm unlucky, D.O., as in, I bring bad luck to others," I stated with a nod and a determined frown. "You were perfectly balanced, the twelve of you. Even number, boys-only-club, having fun in the woods with super powers, and I disrupted that. So, whatever it was you wanted to say to persuade me or whatever, you don't have to. I'm sure about this," I breathed out, looking at him. 

D.O. didn't answer immediately, which made my confidence shrink by each silent second. He seemed to be processing my words, though at the same time it appeared like he was waiting for something. He continued looking at me expectantly before he nodded. 

"Are you done?" he asked and I blinked. Okay...that was unexpected. I thought for sure that he'd try to start an argument wherein I needed to prepare myself to fight him off, but I guess that was a mental preparation gone to waste. 

"Um, yes, I think?" I replied, a little confused. 

D.O. nodded again. "Good. Follow me," he instructed, turning around and easily walking away. I was having déja vu seeing D.O. walk briskly in front of me, as if he was impatient to get to where he was going. 

"Hey, wait up, Mr. Guide, not so fast," I said, quickening my pace to match his speed. D.O. smirked when I caught up, managing to walk beside him. He slowed down just a bit while we made our way into the woods. I didn't know this part of the forest though. I don't think I've ever been here before. 

"So, where are we going?" I watched D.O. as his eyes moved around to make sure we were on the right path. 

"You'll see," he said mysteriously.

"You're not going to argue with me then?" I checked. 

"If you want to argue, you should try Suho. He's better with words. Me, not so much," he said, adjusting his green scarf. It was rather cold outside tonight, which was strange, given the mild climate we'd been having. Then again, things seemed a bit out of wonk since that freak storm the other day. I tightened the leather jacket around me. 

"Then, if you're not planning to argue with me on this, where are you taking me?" I was curious since D.O. was usually the kind of person that just told things the way they were. To see him act so mysteriously had me intrigued, to say the least. 

"A part of the island that no one ever goes to," he answered, looking back casually. "Watch your step, the path kind of ends here." 

"You're taking me to a place where no one ever goes to. Ah. I see. Nothing to worry about then, huh?" 

D.O. grinned at my sarcasm and he flashed his red eyes at me. "What's wrong, Jae? Don't you trust me?" he taunted, though I actually did contemplate my next step. I paused while I watched him walk, moving swiftly between tree branches and avoiding stumbling over stray rocks and bending tree roots. 

"Come on," D.O. suddenly laughed. "You stand around with your mouth hanging open like that it's going to attract bugs. It's not far."

I blinked and snapped my jaws shut. "That wasn't funny," I called after him, watching my step as I squeezed myself through a narrow gap between two old trees. "And what do you mean 'attract bugs'?! My breath doesn't stink!" I chuckled at hearing D.O.'s laughter ahead of me.

"If you say so," he deadpanned. "Be careful with your last step, you're going to need to jump down a little," he explained. I could see D.O. through the trees, standing in the light of the night sky. I think the forest ended where he stood, so I navigated there as elegantly as possible. Ah, yes, Jae and elegance... The mismatched OTP from hell. Oi...

Just when I thought I made it through the woods safely, I failed to notice the last twisting root from a nearby tree that hooked my toe and threw me off balance. Seriously. The trees on this island all hate me.

"Whoa!" I flipped forward, crashing through the bushes, catching D.O. off guard.

"Jae! Watch out!" he exclaimed, and what happened next, I wasn't entirely sure. The world seemed to shake and rumble around me. What I was sure of, however, was the fact that I was rolling down towards the edge of a cliff and I screamed.

"Jae! I got you, I got you!" D.O. yelled. All at once the earth below me started waving, bursting up towards the sky, sending me flying.

"This really isn't helping!!!" I squealed, crushing my eyes shut as my stomach spun at the sensation of plummeting down.

"Don't worry, I got you," D.O. repeated again. "I got you, I got- umph!" 

I gasped when I thought that this was it for me. That God had granted me mercy by not feeling a pinch of pain before dying. He had sent an angel in the shape of D.O. to carry me in his arms and take me to heaven- wait...

"See? I told you I got you," D.O. said, holding me tightly before setting me down, a flush on his cheeks. I still had my arm over his shoulders and one of his hands still rested on my waist to support to me. "Don't scare me like that again, okay? Honestly, Jae, what would you do without me?" he sighed, but a smile played on his lips and something told me that he was referring to my little 'I'm going solo'-speech from earlier on. I pulled away from him, hoping that he wasn't able to see the red blushes on my cheeks. 

"Are you alright?" he asked, while my eyes scanned the loose earth, chunks of clay spread out here and there. There was a small crater of dirt near the edge of the cliff where D.O. made the earth burst up to save me from certain death.

"I think so," I breathed, patting the dirt from my clothes. "Thank you, D.O.," my hand rested on his shoulder before I just let it slide down over his arm absently, still looking around, trying to get over my shock.

"You sure? You're shaking like an earthquake," he jested.

"Yeah, no, I mean- I'm good," I stammered. "Just wondering how many times I'm going to escape death, you know, the usual conflicts a teenage girl has, no biggie," I blabbed as D.O. gave me a sympathetic smile.

"I should've waited for you instead of going ahead, I'm sorry. I'll be more considerate next time," he apologized, looking down at his hand- or rather, our hands. His fingers were lightly entwined with mine and he shyly pulled back. The warmth disappeared almost immediately and I didn't want it to. When D.O. retracted his hand, mine reached out towards him again automatically. His eyes widened further, but he didn't shy away from the touch. 

"Do you mind?" I asked, my voice trembling a little. "S-sorry, but I'd rather not fall off anything again tonight, so if it's alright with you, I'd rather hold on to something."

"A-ah, yes, uh, of course! N-no problem," D.O. shrugged his shoulders, tentatively wrapping his fingers with mine, avoiding eye contact. He cleared his throat. "So, yeah. Um... it's this way," he pointed with his free hand and we walked side by side. After calming down some more, I started to take in the new environment, my legs still shaking a little when I saw how the island just cut off into the ocean, like a ravine. I could hear the waves crashing against the rocks below, though I frowned at seeing the other side, where the land continued again. It was almost as though something had split the land and created the ravine.

I carefully glanced at D.O., but he showed no emotion on his face. I lightly squeezed his hand, swallowing when the gap of the ravine visibly narrowed, changing into a deep crack in the ground. We continued to follow the gash in the earth, and I didn't dare to break the silence by asking a question now. D.O.'s hand was strong and comforting to hold, but I could feel his palm become a little sweaty. I didn't mind much, though.

A gasp of horror nearly escaped my lips when D.O. led me to a wrecked and destroyed forest. It looked like a bomb had gone off here and no one bothered to come to clean up the mess. Mighty trees had been uprooted and laid haplessly on their sides, or were even turned upside down, their dead roots showing. Broken branches lay fallen on a bed of crisp, dried leaves amidst spiky rock formations that had mysteriously sprouted up from the earth. The whole earth in this forest of destruction seemed uneven and dangerous to walk upon. Some parts of the ground even looked dried and cracked, scorched, even, as though whatever caused this disaster had summoned the earth's magma to join the party. 

"What is this place? What happened here?" I looked at D.O. as his eyes scanned the area as well, before gesturing for us to take a seat on a fallen tree trunk. 

"This is a memorial of some sorts," D.O. answered, taking a deep breath.

"A memorial? Memorial of what? We- we're not sitting on a grave or anything, right?" I shuffled a little uneasily on the trunk, but D.O. smiled gently, shaking his head. 

"Not that kind of memorial- fortunately," he said, running his free hand through his thick hair. He hadn't let go off my hand, even now that we're sitting down and I appreciated it. This place was rather creepy. 

"I used to run away, all the time," he suddenly started. "When I was younger, that is. It was just that life at an early age for me and I didn't know how else to cope but to run. Take the hit and flee. It had nothing to do with me being scared, or anything, it was just the only thing I knew to do when guys who were twice my size would come after me to beat me up just for the heck of it," he smirked but I saw the pain in his eyes. "I was angry a lot, too. Never really understood why they were always after me, never understood why they'd hurt other people if others were kind to me. But I thought I could deal with it, because it was just me. I was alone and I was fine with that. Didn't need anyone, I could depend on myself and it suited me fine," D.O. looked up the sky a moment, his green scarf nearly covering the lower half of his face. I didn't say anything. I let him talk, listened to his pleasant voice as he spoke. 

"You know, I wanted to run off the island that time when I found out what I could do," he chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. "I mean, here I was, already considered a freak and now it turned out the bullies were right all along? Do Kyungsoo was an actual freak of nature and man, was I pissed." He moved his hand over the ground, the earth obediently following his gestures. The earth rippled like water, rocking the tree trunk we were sitting on. 

He sighed deeply. "I thought, if I'd been alone all this time, why should I assume that things were going to be different? I had managed so far and was determined to do so again. You see, I'm used to figuring things out by myself. It's just something that I learned to do because I knew that I didn't and couldn't depend on others to be there for me. So, I always made sure that I could survive on my own. And, that worked," he explained, looking at me before giving a tiny smile and plucking a twig from my hair. "For a little while, at least," he mused softly. 

"D.O., what is this place?" I asked again, gently. He turned to look at the devastation surrounding him and I noticed how his grip on my hand tightened ever so subtly. 

"This place is what happens when I decide to do things on my own," he revealed, a smirk on his lips, but regret in his eyes. "This place wouldn't have just been a memorial, it may have been a burial site for me as well. I was transforming for the first time and thought I could handle it. This was the result," he gestured around him. "I would've died if Kai hadn't found me. I was wounded and bleeding and still thought I could handle it on my own. I didn't want any of them near me. I remembered punching Lay when he tried to heal me and smacked Tao to the ground with a wall of earth," he paused. "I think I sent Chen flying with an earth-geiser just for the heck of it," he laughed. "I tried pushing them away but they kept coming back. I realized I wasn't alone. There were more freaks out there like me, and, for whatever reason, they cared. I could have destroyed the whole town and gotten myself killed if it weren't for them," he finished, looking at his shoes before glancing at me. 

I gave a gentle smile. I appreciated what D.O. told me, but he wasn't necessarily subtle in what he was really trying to achieve by taking me here. "Are you telling me that going about this alone is a bad idea? Even after I told you that I had already made up my mind?" I asked him. 

D.O. chuckled and shook his head, leaning back a little. "No, whatever made you think that? If you want to go solo, that's fine. It's really your decision," he said, surprising me again. "All I'm saying is that, try as you may, there's no escaping the idiots, and I guess that includes me as well," he frowned a little, but the tone of playful sarcasm was evident in his voice. "I tried everything to make them leave me alone, but they kept bouncing back like yoyos. So, really, I guess I just wanted to warn you, Jae. I'm so very sorry, but I'm afraid you're stuck with us. Basically, that means that no matter what, we're in this thing together," he lifted his shoulders. "Oh well," he feigned innocently and I couldn't suppress my grin. 

D.O. gave me a sideways glance and broke out a smile when he saw me chuckling. He lifted his hand that was holding mine and gently let go. "We all have our reasons for caring about you," he muttered quietly, "and the fact that you're willing to plunge into something potentially life-threatening by yourself to prevent us from danger is saying something too, I think," he added. "But don't think for one second that any of us will allow you to do so." His voice was strong and determined this time. His eyes purposely searching contact with mine. I didn't know what to say. D.O. caught me completely off guard. All I know was that I was filled with an inexplicable warmth that spread itself from my chest all the way to the tip of my head and my toes. 

"So, don't disappear on us like that again," he continued, while I had started trembling out of nervousness and strange happiness. "Don't feel guilty or think that you're responsible for everything bad that has happened," he drilled, taking off his green scarf and suddenly wrapping it around me instead. "The world doesn't revolve all around you, Jae, so don't flatter yourself that much, huh?" he ended, purposely wrapping the scarf not just around my neck but over my head as well to tease me. 

I laughed through the tears I felt welling up, but I knew that they were good tears. How is it that D.O. knew exactly what to say to make me feel better? How did he know that this was something that I needed to hear, when even I didn't know that this was something I needed to hear? 

Strong, reliable and steadfast D.O., giving me strength and courage to pick myself up from the ground, dust myself off and get back on the horse again.

"Do you still think you can do this alone?" he asked, adjusting the scarf a little.

"Aren't you scared, knowing that there might be something genuinely dangerous going on?" I asked him in return, since I didn't understand how he could be so cool and calm about this.

"Terrified," he replied easily. "But, I feel a bit better knowing that there's thirteen of us," he smiled cutely and I returned the favor, feeling very happy that I went to meet him anyway.

"Hey, D.O.?" I called and waited till he looked straight at me.

"Yeah, Jae?"

I bit my lip a moment before I leaned towards him, giving him a quick, chaste kiss of gratitude on his cheek. "Thank you," I said, pure and simple. D.O. didn't have to go through all this trouble just to lift my spirits, just to convince me to stay in the pack and figure this out together. I knew how shy he was, so having to tell me something personal about his past must've been difficult for him as well. But he did all of these things anyway, taking care of me, while he was my dongsaeng, making sure that I was okay, even though things hadn't been easy on him either. I'm not a touchy-feely person. I don't give out hugs and kisses so easily, but D.O. deserved at least that. It probably helped that he wasn't naturally a person who spoke much either, and preferred letting actions speak for themselves. I hope he realizes how much I appreciate him. 

His lack of response was a little worrying though, until I saw the stunned expression on his face. His eyes were even wider than usual, the tips of his ears were violently red and his heart-shaped lips were parted in shock. Oh gosh, is he still breathing?

"What is it?" I asked, suddenly remembering what he said to me before. I breathed on my hand and quickly smelled my breath. "My breath doesn't actually stink that much, does it?" I asked worriedly, blinking when D.O. finally snapped awake.

"Wha- n-no, no, no, no! I mean, it's fine- good, good. Better, it's- uh, yeah, n-nice, I mean, ha..." his 'ha' died off in a soft whimper that reminded me of a puppy and D.O. gave a high pitch laugh out of embarrassment, glancing away while bending his head. "You're welcome," he mumbled from that position.

Smiling, I unwrapped about half of D.O.'s green scarf and covered him with it as well, sharing it with him. He carefully glanced up and relaxed while we sat on the trunk. It was true that we were surrounded by destruction and devastation, but there was also the most serene peace here. It was quiet and almost tranquil in this part of the woods. Even the stars in the velvet black sky seemed to shine brighter here. Perhaps all those things were there to show that even in the worst situation, the light will seep through, there is good to be found in the bad. And when I looked over to D.O. for a moment, my smile widened. You just had to look for it. And if you're lucky, that light will be sitting right next to you.