XXXI

Courage
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XXXI

"Hyukjae, there's a phone call for you."

Eunhyuk turned his head to look at Sungmin. The other stood in the dark somewhere in the back of the room and the raven head couldn’t help but to feel annoyed as he saw the device in his hand.

"So what? I really can't answer it right now." And that was no lie. Eunhyuk was in the middle of just another photo shooting and normally Sungmin wouldn’t interrupt him. Except for really important things.

"It's Heechul-hyung", he said, the phone pressed against his thigh so that the caller couldn’t hear what was going on. "And he's mad."

Eunhyuk rolled his eyes. "I don’t care. Can't you see that-"

"Really mad."

He scowled and locked gazes with the photographer. "Can we have a short break?"

The man shrugged his shoulders, gaze travelling over to the buffet nearby. "Yup, sure."

'No excuses left anymore', Eunhyuk thought to himself and slowly walked over to Sungmin, his feet slightly shuffling. Heaving a sigh, he accepted the phone and thought that Sungmin looked like he really pitied him as he patted his shoulder. Eunhyuk sighed again and pressed the device against his ear. He really didn’t want to have this conversation.

"Hyung-"

["Get your monkey- back to the dorms in an instant or I swear, Lee Hyukjae, I'll rip your ing balls off!"]

Eunhyuk had to hold the phone a bit away from his ear to not become deaf and let out another sigh. "Listen, if it's because of Donghae then I won't come back, alright? You told me to stay away from him and-"

["Stop talking ! Yes, it's because of Donghae and yes, I know that I didn’t want you to see him. But things changed and you better come here before I come to get you!"]

"Why? There has to be a good reason after he-"

["Do you think Donghae collapsing is reason for you enough?!"]

Eunhyuk stopped, his stomach dropping. "W-What? How-"

["I found him unconscious in the kitchen some time ago and now he's lying here with high fever and panting like he's been running a marathon! You know how difficult it is to make him take any medicine when he's sick and you also know that you're the only one he listens to. Apart from that he asked for you so move your ing !"]

He didn’t have the time to open his mouth before Heechul had already ended the call.           
The other was right; Donghae had never been a friend of taking medicine and Eunhyuk had brought himself into the position of making him take it years ago. For something like this he usually wouldn’t come home, but now that he knew that Donghae had collapsed and also with the bitter tears the brunet had cried the day before still in his mind, there really was no other choice. It was overwhelming guilt that crept up inside of him because he knew that he had to be the reason for Donghae's behavior.

Eunhyuk let the phone in his hand slowly sink down, gaze flitting around before abruptly turning his head to look at Sungmin. "I have to go", was everything he managed to say and didn’t allow Sungmin to ask him any questions before he already fled from the set.

***

The raven head was madly out of breath as he burst through the door and slammed it shut behind him. He toed off his shoes as quickly as he could and rushed through the dorm, didn’t care to knock before he already pushed the door to Heechul's room open. His wide eyes immediately found Donghae's small figure in one of the two beds and he strode over to him without sending Heechul even one glance. Donghae was sleeping as it seemed, but as Eunhyuk sat down at the edge of the bed, he saw the frown on his sweaty forehead and how his chest rose and fell with his heavy panting. As Eunhyuk reached out his hand, his careful fingers came in touch with burning hot skin and even the red hue on Donghae's cheeks couldn’t hide how pale he was.

"Did you call a doctor?" he asked without tearing his gaze away from Donghae.

"Yes, I did. He gave him an IV drip and left some pills Donghae has to take. We have to watch his fever, though. I don’t want him to end up in the hospital."

Eunhyuk cursed under his breath and stripped himself from the suit coat he was still wearing because of the photo shooting. He carelessly threw it over a chair nearby and thought that Donghae looked so broken and tiny that he wanted to pull him into his arms and hug him tight to make him feel better. At the same time he didn’t dare to move him however because the last thing he wanted to do was making things worse.

"Did he take any medicine yet?" He reached his hands out again, placed the back of one of them on Donghae's forehead just to flinch as he felt how hot it was.

"Nope", Heechul said and crossed his arms. "He didn’t take anything."

The other was a lot calmer than he had been on the phone, but Eunhyuk knew that the reason for that wasn’t that he wasn’t mad at him anymore. Heechul only tried to stay silent because Donghae was sleeping and he didn’t want to wake him up.              
With a hum Eunhyuk gently pushed some brown locks out of the younger's face. He felt so sorry that he hadn't paid enough attention to Donghae. After seeing him acting so weird he shouldn’t have let him go like this. "He surely got infected in Japan", he mumbled as he searched for reasons why Donghae was feeling so bad.

"Possible. But running around in a t-shirt in pouring rain surely wasn’t good for his health either."

Now Eunhyuk finally turned his head. His shock was clearly visible on his face. "He did what?!"

Heechul scoffed and the scowl returned to his face. "He ran around in the rain at night and even though it was ing cold, he didn’t wear a jacket. Donghae was drenched with rain when I found him and it looked like he had been doing this for hours when I remember how badly he was shaking."

Eunhyuk blinked his eyes, was more than confused. Did that mean that Donghae hadn't gone to bed when he had left the dorm after their fight? "But he… I mean… How did you find him? I didn’t even know that he was out last night."

"How I found him?" Heechul scoffed again. "He ran over the street all of a sudden. If I hadn't hit the breaks in time he could be dead now, Hyukjae. Do you even know what that means?"

The raven head's jaw dropped. "W-What? But I… I didn’t know! I thought he was going to bed-"

"Did you have a fight?"

"Yes, but-"

"About what?"

"I don’t know! Hyung, he was already a mess when I got home. I asked him what was wrong but he didn’t answer me. All he did was crying and then he had to throw up, I… I- He was so mad all of a sudden-"

"So you don’t know?"

"No, I don’t know anything! Everything was fine before that, that's why I don’t understand what's going on!"

Heechul bit his lip. He knew the answer now, but he didn’t have the right to tell Eunhyuk about it. What he didn’t want to do was to interfere in this whole thing. "He has to take his medicine, Hyukjae."

Eunhyuk nodded his head and tried in vain to keep his heart from racing. "Can you bring me a glass, spoon… water and some juice from the kitchen?" he asked silently and as he heard the other's silent hum, his attention was completely with Donghae again. He looked around and saw the basin filled with water standing on the nightstand and the cloth right beside it. With swift movements he loosened his tie and pulled it over his head to throw it to where his coat jacket already was. He damped the cloth and, with careful movements, started dabbing the younger's skin. He hushed Donghae as his silent whimpers reached his ears and still felt so, so sorry.

Heechul came back with the required items not much later. Eunhyuk silently thanked him and under the other's watchful eyes, he filled the glass with a bit of water and dropped one of the pills into it. Then he kept stirring to make the pill dissolve faster, was careful to not make too much noise. It took some time but then he filled the glass with a bit of juice to not let it stay obvious what its content was.

"Donghae", he called out softly and shook him very slightly. The younger moaned silently and eventually opened his eyes. He blinked them a few times – and then there was this soft smile playing with his lips; Eunhyuk couldn’t fight against it as it was already creeping up his own lips as well.

"Hyukkie…" Donghae breathed and the other quickly nodded his head.

"Yes", he whispered.

He saw him raising his hand a bit before he started coughing and turned slightly away from him. It wasn't just normal coughing, though. Donghae was coughing so violently that he had to sit up a bit in bed to be able to breathe and they both could literally hear how much it had to hurt. The brunet was panting for air as he slumped back to the mattress and Eunhyuk was quick to tuck him back in, his eyes filled with worry.

"Donghae, please drink something."

The glass was back in his hand and he brought it close to the younger's lips. Donghae glanced at it through tired eyes before he shook his head. "N-No…"

Eunhyuk wasn’t in this kind of situation for the first time; he always was the one who had to make Donghae swallow pills when he was sick because the others had given up years ago. When it was about this, the brunet liked to act like a stubborn little child and it really wasn’t helpful at all that he was obviously feeling very bad in that moment.

"Please, Donghae." The younger let out a negative hum and made Eunhyuk groan. He scooted a bit closer to him and leaned in so that only Donghae would be able to hear him. "Can you do it for me?"

He saw him blinking his eyes and for him it looked like Donghae had to think about his answer once again. There was a moment of hesitation, then he eventually nodded his head and let Eunhyuk softly push the glass against his lips. Donghae drank its full content and made Heechul scoff as the raven head put the empty glass back onto the nightstand.

"With you it always looks so easy…" he muttered and eventually left the room because he knew that Eunhyuk would be able to take good care of Donghae. The raven head caressed Donghae's cheek for some time and before he had the courage to say something, the brunet had drifted back to sleep.

Eunhyuk didn’t dare to wake him up again, was even more careful as he dabbed the younger's forehead later on. The longer he sat there, the more it felt like this short moment of consciousness had been a daydream and the worry inside of him more and more was replaced by fear. He was afraid that Donghae would send him away when he woke up because he would come back to his senses, rather chose to just sit beside him without knowing for how long.

The raven head still had no idea what had happened and why Donghae had reacted like this, but somehow he felt the need to apologize, to make things up. And so he stayed, because this was the only thing he thought could make things better.

Hours passed.

Eunhyuk kept sitting next to Donghae, made sure that he wouldn’t feel too hot and didn’t even leave his side as the other members came home. Ryeowook brought him something to eat, but he didn’t touch it, did everything to avoid leaving him alone. It wasn’t like Donghae was simply sleeping and with this gave him the opportunity to take care of himself for a moment. In fact, there were barely a few minutes that he spent with sleeping peacefully; he tossed and turned in his bed and sometimes coughed so hard that Eunhyuk was afraid he would choke.

"Donghae", he called out softly after just another coughing attack and cupped the younger's hot cheeks. He saw his eyes crack open, but Donghae didn’t look at him, stared into the far. "Just a spoonful of linctus, alright?"

The brunet blinked, panted heavily and made Eunhyuk understand that he didn’t hear much of what he said. His worry was writ large in his face and Eunhyuk had to fight with himself before he could tear his gaze away from him. All he wanted to do was to make Donghae stop coughing but because the younger was almost unconscious in his arms, it was harder than he had imagined it to be. The spoon softly hit Donghae's lips a few times and he slightly turned his head to the side to avoid it; as he eventually swallowed the medicine down, Donghae made a face, frowned and turned as much away from him as he could.

A whimper reached his ears and it almost sounded like Donghae was crying. Maybe he was, Eunhyuk wouldn’t doubt this because he also didn’t doubt that Donghae was in pain. He wanted to free him from all of it, wanted to change roles with him because he still felt so guilty. The younger had only left and was suffering so much now because of their fight. And as long as he didn’t know what really had happened, he would be at fault for everything. The younger had been a ball of sunshine when he had left – he wanted him to become one again, as quickly as possible.

"Donghae…"

Eunhyuk felt helpless and saw the brunet's hand the bed sheets tightly. He put his own hand on top and originally had just wanted to loose his hold. But Donghae held on to his fingers instead, mumbled something as his head lolled to the other side to face him again. Eunhyuk over his cheek and thought that he had to cool him down again as Donghae opened his eyes a bit. He looked at him for some time, his hand now and then squeezing the raven head's.

"What… did I…" A groan left his lips and it looked like he was fighting hard to stay conscious. "… do wrong?"

"What do you mean?" Eunhyuk's eyes were open wide, flitted over his face. "Donghae, why should you have done something wrong?"

A soft moan escaped Donghae's lips and his gaze slowly travelled to the ceiling. Eunhyuk felt his fingernails sink into his skin and how the younger was

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hyukflavor
#1
Wow, it's trilogy! Gonna suscribe it firstttt
haeinmyheart
#2
ive been talking anout this fic on my twitter and it brings back memories huhu so might as well reread it hehehehe
wayforrokkugo
#3
Chapter 37: what
wayforrokkugo
#4
Chapter 34: aww heechul :(((
wayforrokkugo
#5
Chapter 33: omg since hyukja couldn't hit her can i do it instead like a slap on the face or smth 😭 but i love hyukjae just ruthlessly defending donghae, himself, and his choces 💙💙
wayforrokkugo
#6
Chapter 30: god i kinda wanna burn this woman alive but okay
wayforrokkugo
#7
Chapter 29: i hate her i really do
wayforrokkugo
#8
Chapter 24: oh thank god she's somehow gone,,,, i hope she doesnt come back
wayforrokkugo
#9
Chapter 23: lord i hate this soojin girl so bad
Kethryveris
#10
Chapter 37: J'ai adoré cette histoire, malheureusement j'avais commencé par Euphoria que j'ai trouvé vraiment dure et que je n'ai pas réussi à lire en entier (j'ai dû lire beaucoup de passage en diagonale, je pleurais trop). Par contre celle-ci m'a vraiment touché tout le travail de Hyukjae sur lui même, tout l'amour que Donghae lui offre et qui l'aide et le soutient. Bref c'est une fic magnifique... Sauf l'épilogue qui m'a de nouveau projeté dans Euphoria mais je comprends que ce sois nécessaire.... Je vais de ce pas lire Joy. Merci Authornim