Day 17-21: Deeper Talk

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Taeyeon: It's not against the rules to sleep by the door. It's not against the rules to talk to him. You didn't mention those rules, nor are they written in the rule book. You can't take your words back!


Calm down Taeyeon! Don't disrespect your elders. That's when I felt the need to stand up, kneel down, and give my multiple apologetic bows to the invisible council.


Taeyeon: I'm sorry for speaking in a high tone. I mean no disrespect to my elders. I really only want to do something for a friend.


Jung Hyungdon: Omo, did our Taeyeon just one-up the Council? She's right though, we did not set those rules. We have no means of punishing Taeyeon for setting camp by the glass door, providing company to the punished G-dragon. All. Night. Long.






User 1: Look at our cute Taenggoo making a little bed by the door. Her huge Spongebob doll is so adorable.


User 2: My Jiyong oppa's looking so pale! I wish they feed him. At this rate he can get a fever!


User 3: Amidst the fiasco with Kim Yuna, I don't think he deserves to be out in the cold Winter night like this. And with hunger too.


User 4: Taeyeon, please warm his heart with your voice.


User 5: What are you doing MBC? THIS IS HUMAN CRUELTY! You have to feed G-dragon!


User 6: AlwaysGD and GDsupporters are having a donation drive for GD's shelter and food. Please click this link to help out.


User 7: If MBC won't feed him, then we will! If he can't consume from inside the house, then he shall consume from outside.


User 8: The scene with the glass door separating Taeyeon and GD is like a romantic scene in a drama. Jjang! Team GD-Taeng scores.






I carefully closed the door, afraid of waking up the other housemates. I didn't exactly wish for them to find out what I was about to do. From the sliding glass door overlooking the garden, I saw that Jiyong was just lying on the pool chair, cold and lonely. His back was turned.


Knock. Knock. Knock.


"Oppa, how are you doing?" I called for his attention. He immediately stood up and turned around to see the camp I have already setup.


"Yah, what are you doing? You can't give me any stuff from the inside!"


"I know. These are for me, because I'm sleeping here," I declared with a careful smile.




"I can't give you food or a blanket, but I can at least provide you company."


He began to panic, approaching the glass door from his side. He flattened his hand directly to where I flattened mine from my side. What a perfect scene for a romantic movie. Wait, what?!


"The elders might punish you! I told you, don't let my sacrifice go in vain. You have to be comfortable and safe in your bedroom. Just go sleep inside!"


"I am comfortable and safe, as long as I have this," I then pointed to the life-size yellow atuffed toy that I have settled on the ground.


And as long as you're around...


"Of course. Mr. Square Pants can always do the trick," he smirked, staring at my huge pillow too.


I suddenly remembered I used to call him Mr. Squarepants. Yeah, Mr. Squarepants always made me comfortable. He gestured for the two of us to sit. We sat on the ground, Indian-style, facing each other with the glass door between us.






"Thank you very much for saving me." For always saving me.


It was him who made me hold on when I felt like giving up to my ulcer four years ago. It was him who made me give value to life once more when I almost gave up to my depression after our breakup.


"Remember what I told you six years ago?"


We were staring at each other so deeply that any discomfort or awkwardness I felt beforein his presence now became nonexistent.


"How can I ever forget? It seems like only yesterday when you told me that."


It also seemed like I was only 19, head over heels with that one senior singer I met backstage in M! Countdown, on the very first stage of SNSD. I really already forgot that I was already 26, SNSD's leader, representing the group to salvage our ruined image. Now my stay inside the House of 20's became all about Jiyong. Maybe I did not forget about the original goal of joining this show. Maybe I just chose not to think about it.


"I told you that..."


Don't say it. Please don't say it. Not here. Most especially, not now.


"...maybe God created me to save you."


Those were the very same words that sealed the deal when I turned 20. March 19, 2008. The day Kwon Jiyong told me those same words was the day I agreed to his request -- for him to have the exclusive right to save me.


"Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe, we just have to accept the fact that saving me just isn't what you were born for."


My deep words shut him up for a good ten seconds. Then, mimicking my earlier response, he replied, "Maybe. Maybe not."


We both laughed.


"I'm sorry for not doing a very good job in the last four years," he told me sincerely, now facing away from me, his back leaning against the glass that separated us. I did the same, until we were completely faced away from each other.


"If saving you was really my purpose in life, then I am doing a miserable job. I'm not even doing the job at all. I don't even know where or how to begin apologizing for that. This is why I became so desperate to save you right here, right now. It's not because I'm putting up a face to others, or self-serving, or trying to win the game. It's because I am sorry to you, to your family, to our friends, and to some extent, to myself."


He sounded so sincere, so honest, so real. The sound of truth reached out to me, and I suddenly heard... Sniff. Shoot. I can't cry. Not here. Not now. Sniff. Sniff. I only cried harder, as silently as I could. I hugged on my stuffed toy and buried my face in Spongebob's chest. I couldn't stop crying, until he finally heard me. I couldn't make myself look up to check if he faced me again.


"Don't cry. It's bad enough that this glass door is separating us. It's real torture that I can't lend a hand and wipe your tears, or lend a shoulder so you can comfortably cry."


"It's okay. Mr. Squarepants would suffice," I murmured.


"Hey Spongebob, keep her eyes dry and her head comfortable, arasseo?"


"We're setting ourselves up for big trouble by talking like this," still I murmured, the stuffed toy making me comfortable.


"You wanna know something?" he asked, and now I felt comfortable to actually look up. He was facing me once more. When our eyes met, he continued, "I feel like I really don't care."


Me neither. But I couldn't voice that out. I felt so relieved to hear him confirm that it wasn't only me who wanted to let all my emotions out.


"So are we talking about this?" I asked him, very carefully.


"Only if you want to," he answered.


"What if I don't?" I contradicted.


"Then we may never have a chance to talk again. Once we leave the walls of this house, I'm afraid you would never look back even if I call."


True. The truthfulness of what he spoke of caught me off guard, and I couldn't find the righr words to respond.


"The variables in the real world always prevent us from talking."


True, again.


"I also know you really didn't want to talk to me, at least not yet, even if the years have already passed."


True, once more.


"It was last year when I got scared you would never ever be ready to talk me again."


True, for one more time.


"I wanted to reach out so bad, but Fany and Sungkyu adviced me against it. They said it wouldn't be healthy for you."


My best friends were right.


Had you reached out to me, I wouldn't have moved on, wouldn't have forgiven myself, wouldn't have let you go. Had you reached out, I wouldn't have opened myself to Baekhyun.


So was it wrong to feel a little sad that he didn't reach out?







1. This journalist is so pathetic. What kind of article is this? Did SM and YG pay you to make Princess Yuna look pitiful?

2. Of course Team Yuna's not floating, because it does NOT exist! Yuna would never have to compete for such a dirty man like G-dragon!




1. Even MTV, Billboard, and so many other international media outlet are highlighting this. That's what happens when the leaders of Kpop mega groups SNSD and BIGBANG hook up romantically.

2. Romantic. Scandalous. Controversial. Heol.

3. I bet you many variety shows and comedians would parody this heartwrenching glass door scene. It's so metaphorically romantic.






Park Myungsoo: While the much talked-about glass door scene was taking place between Jiyong and Taeyeon, another female housemate came forward to do something for the banished Jiyong. Now known to the world as the kind-hearted crybaby, Olympic gold medalist Kim Yuna made a bold proposal to the council.


Elder Yoo: What can I do for you Yuna?


Yuna: (Confident and without the tears she has become known for) I read the rule book from page 1 to 57. I am not a lawyer, and I don't want to pretend like I'm smart. However, there is nothing in the book that says Jiyong oppa can't be warmed and fed by resources from outside the house.


Elder Yoo: What are you trying to say?


Yuna: I heard the fans shouting from outside the walls of the backyard. I am almost positive that Big Bang fans are camped outside the House of 20's with donations for oppa's food and needs.


Elder Yoo: And so what if you are correct?


Yuna: (Smiling and now more energized) Then that means Jiyong oppa can be fed and be given comfortable clothing and bed if the resources did not come from inside the house, or from the housemates. I would like to seek your permission to obtain the donations from behind the house walls, with the help of my other housemates.


Elder Yoo: But the house rules clearly state you are not to have any contact with the outside world.


Yuna: Then let the fans inside the premises, at least to give Jiyong oppa the goods!


Just like Taeyeon who raised her voice earlier, Yuna also apologized and bowed before the council for unintentionally shouting.


Yuna: The fans sacrificed for their idol, because they don't want him to be cold and hungry. Please, pir respected elders, please don't let their sacrifices be in vain. These fans are only students, maybe even in the elementary level, who sacrificed their allowances, missed school, because they want to protect their idol. Don't let the sacrifice of the Korean Youth come to waste! Please Elder Yoo.


Elder Yoo: Why are you crying again? It seems you always cry whenever you are in this confession booth. I would hate for the public to think I am making the nation's pride cry.


Yuna: (Shaking her head and wiping her tears) There is a reason why I always sign for the fans, or take photo ops, even when I am tired. It's because I am aware of what they sacrifice to get a glimpse of the people they look up to. I would sacrifice just as much if that meant the people who matter to

me are in good condition. That's what we do for the people we care about. We sacrifice for them. (Sobbing with difficulty breathing) That's what Jiyong oppa did for Taeyeon unnie. That's what VIPs are doing right now outside this house for G-dragon. Wouldn't you do the same for your wife and children Jaesuk oppa?


Elder Yoo: And is this what you are doing for Jiyong?


Yuna: (Startled, hiccupping, and stopping her tears) E-eh? An-aniyo! N-no! D-don't take it l-like that.


Jung Hyungdon: Aigoo, what did our Jiyong do to have Kim Yuna and Kim Taeyeon talk to the elders for him like this? Turns out Yuna's assumption is correct. As she spoke in the council room, while Jiyong and Taeyeon were having a heart-to-heart in the garden (the glass door separating them), hundreds of fans dropped by and left food and so many other goods for the banished housemate. Wait... did I say hundreds? I meant thousands! Did I say dropped by? I meant camped!






"I've successfully convinced myself over the years that I would never ever be ready to see you again. Now we're here," she answered.


I felt comforted that she finally talked. For the last ten minutes, it had only been me who said any word. I didn't want this conversation to be a one-way street. We already gave out too much emotions, too much words, not to go all-out now. I wanted to know her mind, her heart. I wanted to understand.


"I think just the fact that we were brought here together is a sign," I replied, my intent to egg her to talk more.


"Yeah, a sign that perhaps, we should talk already. Right here, right now. Would you agree?" she asked me.


"We've dragged this on too much. If we did not meet each other here in the house, would you honestly have talked to me again?"




"Then yes, I agree. It's time to talk Taeyeon. Right here, right now."


She thought hard for a moment without saying a word. But even if another five minutes passed without us talking, this time I felt pretty confident she would talk more.


"After the last day we taIked, I promised myself I would forget everything about you and pretend you do not exist."


Though I've always assumed what she said, hearing her confirm it still hurt.


"Did you hate me that much Tae?"


"Yes. I hated you so much, more than words could express, more than tears could cry, and more than life could offer."


It hurt again, even much more painfully than her last statement. To see her with a straight face when she said that, without a shred of tear, I felt like I was the worst person in the world. To have a beautiful and kind person like Kim Taeyeon hate you that much...


"Then I must have been such a bad man." Evil. The worst.


"It's just because I also loved you that much."






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User 1: BULL!


User 2: Just when we got to the juicy part! We paid for uncut streams MBC! Bring it back!


User 3: Did Taeyeon admit to loving GD?




User 5: This is the first time MBC cut the 24/7 livestream. Why would they do that for paying consumers? They better refund me for this.


User 6: Looks like SM and YG are finally taking serious measures to minimize the damage.


User 7: Question of the day: Would MBC air this love confession from Taeyeon the Sly Fox?


User 8: Another question of the day, would YG and SM finally pull out their careless and shameless talents from the House of 20's?




After 10-hours of streaming blackout...


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I think many of you are still confused. Yes, I am also writingasahobby. I did NOT take over the story. I owned it from the very beginning. :-)







"YG wants me out of the house."


"Yeah... I know... SM wants me out too."


"Do you want out?" I asked her.


"Do you?" she asked back.


"I asked you first."


She shook her head and said, "No. Not really."


I smirked, silently glad she felt the same way. I replied, "Me neither."


"So what should we do Jiyong?"


"Let's talk to them. Together. Let's both tell our companies we want to stay in the house!"


Please agree with me... please... We need this Taeyeon. I know it. I FEEL it.


"Why should we stay here?" she asked, a little sad.


"I just feel like this is the only place where we can resolve our open-ended past. D-don't you agree?"


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Guys I accidentally delete chapter 5! Now I have to reformat it all. Please be patient. I can't do it today anymore so wait 12 hrs pls. Sorry! Come back again.

Comments (1263)

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pieceofwings #1
Ah im still waiting for this. Its really goood...
mitaaa19 #2
Chapter 11: i already read again your story . please update soon
38 streak #3
it had been already 2 years and i'm still waiting for an update i miss this story
YourSmile-I #4
Chapter 11: Please update soon thanks
Hayat786 #5
Chapter 14: Plz ubdate
good job!!
ImHot1130 #7
comeback to read gtae again :) miss them so much!!! hope you come back soon author :)
Lttlemssme #10