Day 26-27: Game Change

House of 20's
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It is true that SNSD's Taeyeon and Big Bang's G-dragon were very close in the past. It was their first time to meet after three years of no contact. The two just shared a personal moment inside the House of 20's, sharing about the events that happened in their lives during the lost years. This triggered Taeyeon's emotional breakdown. They reminisced about the difficulties in their careers, as well as Jiyong's thoughts about his past scandals. Please do not misunderstand anything. The two just talked as friends who were catching up. Neither of them have the desire to form a romantic relationship with each other.

1. So how "close" were they?
2. Ex-lovers or not? Still no confirmation of the obvious. This is bull.
3. Show us the livestream of their conversation and let us be the judge.
4. Very close = lovers.








Watching Kim umma crying still made me very sad. She was a very kind woman, one who has always treated me like her own son. To see her in this sad state pained me so much. I wanted to console her, but then I remembered she was no longer Kim umma. Just Mrs. Kim, an old friend's mother.

Then I saw Kim appa, or Mr. Kim, give me a sharp glance. Even Taeyeon's siblings, Jiwoong and Hayeon, gave me the cold shoulder. Suddenly, the Kim family who once loved and adored me now hated me. I couldn't explain how much it hurt to find out that their hatred for me hasn't diminished, even if four years already passed. I couldn't blame them.

Clearly, even up to this day, everyone who rooted for Taeyeon and I were still convinced that I slept with Mizuhara Kiko on the night of Taeyeon's 23rd birthday.

"Taeyeon has done a very good job in managing her thoughts and behavior during the past three years," Dr. Gong Hyojin explained. The Kim family and I were all in her office, waiting for an update on Taeyeon's condition.

I was surprised when she also invited me, amidst the strong opposition of the Kim family. Mr. Kim and Jiwoong loathed the idea of me being in the loop with Taeyeon's mental health. But everyone in this room knew very well that I was no stranger to her illness. Even Dr. Gong, Taeyeon's long-time therapist and psychiatrist, acknowledged that I played a huge role in all these.

The doctor continued, "She's supposed to be on Xanax, Ativan and Prozac, but her current labs didn't show this. I talked to her and she confessed to stopping all her medications three months ago. I did not recommend nor approve for her to do so. Stopping these meds caused the vulnerability of her mental and emotional states."

"She s-stopped medications?" Mrs. Kim clarified, as shocked as me and the rest. "But why would she do that? She knows how important her medications are!"

I noticed that only Hayeon did not find surprise at such revelation. She was wearing a calm face, looking down. When the Kim parents and Jiwoong each gave their emotional two-cents at what they found, Hayeon finally talked.

"She didn't want the cameras capturing her and broadcasting her taking antidepressants and anti-anxiety medicines. She went cold-turkey before entering the house."

Again, another round of collective surprise filled the room. We all looked at Hayeon in disbelief.

"And why didn't you say anything Kim Hayeon?!" Mrs. Kim asked dramatically, hand on her chest.

"Unnie didn't want me to, and she seemed certain that she was all better now. I g-guess I also wanted to believe that she's really healthier and stronger now," Hayeon explained, and she started tearing up. Amidst her shaky voice, she continued, "So when I found out Jiyong oppa was also in the show, I prayed everyday she would be okay. And she was okay! I was so happy to watch in the livestream that she was dealing just fine! I just put too much faith in her. I'm sorry mom and dad, but I just really wanted for Taeyeon unnie so much to finally be okay!"

Hayeon now broke down in tears, and so did Mrs. Kim. I couldn't believe what I heard, precisely because I knew how stopping antidepressants could affect people.

"I called it! Participating in that show would be bad for her, SM just wouldn't listen! Don't they realize how vulnerable my sister is?" Kim Jiwoong exclaimed, shaking his head and walking around. "This is your goddamn fault Kwon Jiyong! If I knew you were gonna be inside too, I would have tried harder to stop her from joining this ing stupid show!"

No one stopped him from badmouthing me, and I found no fault at what he did. I deserved all that he said. I was really at fault. I was the idiot who caused Taeyeon's illness the first time, and once again I was the idiot who caused this relapse. I felt so ashamed of the Kim family, and more so, I felt so sorry to Taeyeon. I knew very well she didn't deserve to go through this again.

"She needs to get out of that house! We gotta pull her out! I don't care what SM says!" Jiwoong continued shouting rather dramatically.

"But this is the ultimate test for Taeyeon. You can't protect her from this biggest challenge," Dr. Gong muttered, causing everyone to stop and look up.

"What do you mean doctor?" Mr. Kim asked.

"I know you are all afraid for her to relapse, but she is stronger than any of us thinks," the doctor explained. "She's been with Jiyong in that house for three weeks, and she only faltered now. That showed a lot of healing, and without medication too."

"Are you suggesting that she stays with him in that house?"

"Yes, Jiwoong. Your parents and I already discussed this. I've been on Taeyeon's case for nearly five years now, and I strongly advice for her to go back inside the house. Much of her emotional vulnerabilities come from avoidance, isolation and denial. What she needs to do are opposite actions. Taeyeon has to deal with all her fears -- the public, the media, and you, Mr. Kwon Jiyong."

"M-me?" I asked, shocked at being singled out.

Dr. Gong Hyojin nodded at me and said, "She has to let you go. Once she lets you go, that's when her true healing comes."


1. If a mentally unstable, cheating woman becomes the Ultimate Icon, shame on Korean society!

1. Be careful icons, CrazyTaeng might have an "emotional breakdown" because of so much happiness. Lol.

1. Close friends my !! Clearly, they are milking this love-line at the expense of their reputation and the feelings of Baekhyun/Kiko. While the other housemates abide to the strict rules, this whacko and druggo are given special treatments!

1. House of 20's was clearly setup as the GD-TAE show. Yuck. How can the likes of Kim Yuna and Kim Soohyun live in the shadows of a psychotic and a druggie?



"It has been a unanimous decision by MBC, SM, YG, Kim and Kwon family, that Kwon Jiyong and Kim Taeyeon shall remain inside the House of 20's."

SM's Vice President for Media Relations announced. She, along with the other high-level executives and staff from YG and SM, met up with their talents, G-dragon and Kim Taeyeon, in the confines of the House of 20's. The announcement was finalized after the much awaited meeting between SM, YG and MBC. After a careful deliberation and planning from all camps, a master plan has been created to ensure minimum damage and maximum profits from the GD-Taeyeon saga.

"You will bury the controversy yourselves. We can make this a win-win situation," now it was YG's Jinu's turn to speak about the master plan.

He continued, "You will talk inside, honestly and truthfully. Then, you shall end your stint in the house as good friends. So the world now knows you were ex-lovers, there's nothing we can do about it now. SM and YG are contractually obligated for you to see through the end of this show. Our hands are tied. But there are rules that shall govern your next acts inside."

Then, one by one, the executives from YG and SM laid out all the rules to Taeyeon and Jiyong, giving explanations as to how the rules shall be enacted. The two talents weren't surprised anymore. After all, the controversy involved not just any idol or any group. It was Big Bang and G-dragon, SNSD and Kim Taeyeon.

"Inside the house, you shall always hang out together, platonically."

"You shall ask each other advices about your careers, friends, families, and most especially, your romantic relationships."

"You shall both be briefed and debriefed by your managers twice a week to dictate your past and future actions."

"You shall talk about your past inside, fully, honestly, but make it sound like you are both past it."

"We understand Taeyeon's continuous need of treatment, and we of course want to address her health. Therefore, she shall be given one and a half hour off camera, daily, to talk to a therapist or any of her family or friends, and to take her medications. MBC signed a nondisclosure agreement regarding the specifics of your mental health."

Taeyeon felt better upon learning that her needs would be addressed. She didn't want the relapse to happen again, especially since the world was probably wondering about her mental health already. However, a huge part of her actually wanted to be an advocate for mental illness. The Korean society, after all, still considered such issue as a non issue, a taboo. Maybe the country and its people needed awareness and education, because people dealing with depression, anxiety and many other mental health issues weren't always crazy.


"Now there is only one goal: to seek the public's empathy and understanding. They are now going crazy about the fact that you were past lovers. Now they just have to digest the truth - that everything was in the past. In the present, you are just friends, nothing else."

"Do everything you can to prove that there is nothing between you two anymore. If that means Taeyeon broadcasting her love for Baekhyun, so be it. However, YG disapproves of Jiyong confirming anything about Mizuhara Kiko. You can talk about her, but do not directly admit that she is your girlfriend."

On the other hand, Jiyong hated the idea of Kiko getting dragged in the mess, but could that really be avoided? He was past the point of denying what was going to transpire. Ever since he knew that Kim Taeyeon was also a housemate, he already deduced that bad things would happen. But what could be worse than seeing Taeyeon weaken and struggle for breath?


Nothing. There isn't anything more painful than seeing her suffer.

Also, was it selfish of Jiyong to assume that Mizuhara Kiko wouldn't misunderstand anything happening in the show? Kiko knew his past with Taeyeon, from Chapter 1 up to the sad ending. She had always been accepting and misunderstanding -- to the point of masochistic selflesness.


"Lastly, in the hopes of resolving the past and convincing the public you are now just platonic friends..."

"...your group members and families will be invited for various future episodes."

"What?!" both Jiyong and Taeyeon exclaimed, surprised at the revelation.

"The members of SNSD, Big Bang, the Kim and the Kwon families already agreed. Their appearances have been scheduled, and now the MBC production staff is already writing the special episodes."

The executives further explained how the appearance of their families and friends would further prove they were over the illustrious history. They made very convincing points, but it still did not appease the two's worried minds. Clearly, MBC was milking the controversy, and SM and YG had no choice but be slaved with all these master plans.

But really... both Jiyong and Taeyeon only worried that their friends' personal relationships with each other would be subject to the controversy. After All, Tiffany and Seunghyun were past lovers too. Yuri, Sooyoung, Hyoyeon and Seungri stopped hanging out after the breakup. Daesung, Yoona and Sunny stopped talking. Youngbae had no choice but to stop pursuing Seohyun. To reunite SNSD and Big Bang would be just as volatile as reuniting Taeyeon and Jiyong. The two also mostly worried about their families. Since their breakup, hurtful things have been said between the families. The moms stopped talking, resenting one another. The dads stopped playing golf, afraid that their wives would be angry. The siblings also cut all their ties. Having them meet again, and in front of the whole world too, what could the worst scenario be?

"Before anything else..." Taeyeon finally spoke her mind. "C-can I please talk to Jiyong alone? And also... off camera... please..."

Jiyong also wanted, more than ever, to talk to Taeyeon. He didn't want to be thrown in the lion's den unprepared. They weren't aware of each other's existence upon entering the house the first time. Now that they knew of each other, they could prepare before entering the house a second time.

After a short deliberation, the executives finally left them alone.



1. With SNSD, Big Bang, and miss A visiting, this has turned into an idol fest... eeeeew.
2. Petition to have Baekhyun and Kiko visit the house!

1. The teaser seemed like a reunion! So BB and SNSD were friends?! This sounds fun!!!
2. It's like a dating game. When did this show become and idol variety show? Yuck!




Amidst Taeyeon's request, the production staff did not turn off any of the camera camera.

"I'm sorry," Jiyong and Taeyeon said together at the same time as soon as their company executives left them.

"Why are you apologizing to me?" Jiyong asked, guilty of hearing such words from Taeyeon's mouth.

Taeyeon breathed in and out first, multiple times. She calmed herself down and thought well before talking. To lessen her anxieties, she stood up from the chair, pacing around the room while breathing deeply.

"Don't misunderstand me, please. I never want to mess up your life," she began explaining, closing her eyes and still practicing mindfulness exercises.

"What happened to me... happened because I went cold-turkey. It had nothing to do with... how I still feel about you," when she noticed what she said, she opened her eyes and gestured strongly, denying her last words. "Not that I still feel anything! I mean, I feel something, but it's just... I'm not in love or anything..."

She heard herself babbling, and she just went on and on and... "Well, there is love... but not like that.. It's all just convoluted and confusing and... Oh God... I need to shut up!"

She was struggling for air once more, and she felt her face flush. She held on her stomach, calming her nerves. Jiyong saw her difficulty, so he immediately stood up and came closer to her.

"Calm down Taeyeon," he muttered, holding her two arms and forcing her to face him. "You can't let your anxious mind get the best of you. Remember? Mindfulness is key. Don't let your mind drift to the past, or over think about the future. The present is what matters. Here, now, you, me."

Jiyong's knowledge of mindfulness didn't take Taeyeon by surprise anymore. She knew that he, like the Kim family, attended support groups of people whose loved ones struggled with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

"Always remember that at present, I would never hurt you," Jiyong continued to say very calmly, almost in a whisper. "Regardless of the past or the future, just be in the now. Because now, I am here, and I promise you I would never do anything to hurt you."

His gentle voice caused Taeyeon to close her eyes, allowing for her panic to pass. Her air circulation normalized once more, and she was able to relax and breathe deeply, with Jiyong's gentle voice providing a meditative environment.

"I don't love you anymore, and I know you don't love me anymore," Taeyeon muttered calmly, eyes still closed as she entered a meditative mind. It was as if she was reciting an affirmation, a coping statement, that she needed herself to believe.

"I understand," Jiyong answered, very much calming and relaxing.

"I'm in love with Baekhyun, and you're in love with Kiko."


"I want a future with Baekhyun, and I sincerely wish you and Kiko a happy life together."

"Thank you."

Then, Taeyeon finally opened her eyes so that she met Jiyong's gazes. They stared at each other for a long time.

"And I... I've forgiven you..." she said.


Nodding, she also answered, "Yes."


"You caught me off guard inside the house, so it took me a day or two, and many anxiety attacks, to step back and be mindful. I forgot to use the skills I learned through therapy," Taeyeon opened up to him, very calm and relaxed. She had no inhibitions anymore, something that meditation and mindfulness taught her.

"For years, I was able to get through the pressure of the media and the public, the pressure of SM and SNSD. I expertly used my skills and successfully managed my anxiety and depression for the last three years..."

"And then there was you..."

" doctor was right. You're the true test of my healing. You are my ultimate challenge. It takes me a great deal of swallowing my pride to openly admit this to you. That must be some form of healing too, r-right?" she asked him, chuckling a little.


"So I forgive you. I want to learn how to live with you. I want to learn how to be friends with you. Let's go back inside the house so I can take that last step to healing. Please Jiyong... as your... former friend... please help me get better. Help me finally let you go."

Again, another silence. But still, the two of them were still up close, holding each other, looking at each other's eyes.

"I will, Taeyeon. There's nothing I want more than for you to get better. I will do anything to help heal you."

Even if that means letting me go. Said Jiyong to himself.


Can I really let you go? Said Taeyeon too, to herself.


Do you really want to let me go Tae?


Jiyong... have you let me go...?

...cause Tae... I think I haven't let you go.

...because Ji... I don't think I want to let you go.


1. Guess who just made a fool out of all of us? CRAZY TAEYEON and GD!

2. Wait... are the two aware they were being filmed? It didn't seem so... This is a violation of their privacy.

1. So they gave us half-truth yesterday and the other half of the truth today. What a master media play!
2. I think the companies planned this all along, without the knowledge of the two idols... Hmmmm...

1. It was really sweet... but then I remembered she's a mental fox. I don't want Baek dating a whackjob.
2. Baekhyun oppa, do you really want to spend your life visiting someone in a mental hospital?

2. You and your right-wing GF really match well. Both of you are disgusting and ugly!




"Hi noona... how are you? I hope you are feeling better. I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. I want to be beside you, taking care of you, consoling you... but business is business. What can we do?"

"Just know that I miss you, and I love you, and I am always thinking about and praying for you. I'll be waiting for you Taeyeon noona..."

"Baekhyun seems like a sweet kid."

"He's... the best."

"How did you two... meet?"

"Kwon Jiyong, do you really want to hear about how Byun Baekhyun fell in love with me?"

"Yeah... I g-guess I do..."



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Guys I accidentally delete chapter 5! Now I have to reformat it all. Please be patient. I can't do it today anymore so wait 12 hrs pls. Sorry! Come back again.

Comments (1263)

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pieceofwings #1
Ah im still waiting for this. Its really goood...
mitaaa19 #2
Chapter 11: i already read again your story . please update soon
38 streak #3
it had been already 2 years and i'm still waiting for an update i miss this story
YourSmile-I #4
Chapter 11: Please update soon thanks
Hayat786 #5
Chapter 14: Plz ubdate
good job!!
ImHot1130 #7
comeback to read gtae again :) miss them so much!!! hope you come back soon author :)
Lttlemssme #10