Eun Ah woke up the next morning to the world's most painful hangover. She rolled over on her face and laid there for a second before peeling her eyes open.

She needed to stop doing this to herself. It hurt too much.

She was in her room, but the light shining through her curtains told her that it was morning. She propped herself up against the headboard and tried to re-orientate herself.

She hung her head low and rubbed her face before glancing down at what she was wearing.

Why am I dressed in jeans?

She closed her eyes and slowly let her mind piece last night back together.

Himchan got rid of her liquor.

She went out.

Exotic.

Bar.

Jail.

Fear.

Minseok.

Passing out.

Sandalwood.

Yongguk.

YONGGUK!

Eun Ah jolted upright, her eyes wide open. She remembered now. Right before she passed out, someone had lifted her up in their arms.

Someone tall and strong.

Someone who smelled like sandalwood. The same cologne that Yongguk always wore.

Someone who had  pale hair?

She wasn't sure about the last fact, but the rest were true. She knew it. Her memory might have still felt jagged, but she knew that for a fact.

She stumbled out of bed, kicking her blankets aside and raced down the stairs. Her head spun a little, but she managed to make it to the living room where Himchan was sitting with a mug of steaming coffee set in front of him

"Where is he?!"

Himchan slowly looked up, as if he was waiting for her to come hurtling down. "You're unbelievable, you know that? You drove yourself to a bar you've never been to without telling anyone? Were you that desperate for a drink? What's next? You gonna rob a liquor store?"

Eun Ah ignored his furious tone and scanned the house. There were no new shoes by the door or a stranger's jacket on the hook.

"Where is he?" She repeated as she frantically started moving around the house. Himchan grabbed her arm and yanked her back.

"Are you listening to me? What was your plan last night? Were you going to drive back, drunk?"

She frowned and shook his grip off, "Let go. Where is he? Where'd he go?"

"WHO!" Himchan boomed, frustrated, "WHO THE ARE YOU LOOKING FOR!"

"YONGGUK!" Eun Ah screeched as she stared back at him.

Himchan's hand fell limp by his side as the anger rushed out of his body. He stared at her, a lost look in his eye when he saw the hysterical look in hers.

"Yongguk?"

"He-he was there last night. When I was passed out. He's the one who lifted me up and brought me home."

Himchan's face relaxed from confused and was replaced with something else. "Did you see him? Did you talk to him? Did he say that it was him?"

Eun Ah gulped, her strumming heart slowing down. "N-no, not exactly. BUT I know it was him!"

Himchan narrowed his eyes at her, "How are you so sure? You were smashed out of your mind. You could've imagined seeing Girl's Generation in front of you for all I know."

Eun Ah felt herself growing frustrated as she stomped her foot, "I know it was him! I smelled him. I know!"   

Himchan scoffed and shook his head, "You thought you saw you dead fiancée, alive, just because you smelled his cologne? Do you hear how pathetic you sound?"

Eun Ah glared at him, "Why are you being such an ? Stop antagonizing me. I know what I saw, I know it was him. WHY DON'T YOU BELIEVE ME!?"

"BECAUSE IT WAS ME!" Himchan yelled, his voice echoing, followed by Eun Ah's silence.

"W-what?"

"I'm the one who picked you up from Exotic."

She shook her head, her heart sinking in disappointment. "H-how? That's not possible."

"Maybe next time, try not to sneak out in a car that has a GPS tracking system." He said harshly.

Eun Ah felt her body shake. "N-no, but the bartender, the person who picked me up knew him."

"Kim Minseok? Yeah, he's a member of EXO-M, a close ally to B.A.P. He knows who you are. They all do, so when you passed out, he called me to pick you up."

"You're lying." She spat back

"Why? Why would I lie about this? What would I get out of pretending to be your DEAD FIANCEE?!" 

Eun Ah looked at her feet, her mind slowly accepting the reality. "It was you?"

He sighed, "Yeah. It was me."

Eun Ah blinked at him before staring at his hair. In a hoodie, it could've been him. She slowly walked over closer and squeezed his arm.

It didn't feel the same though. It didn't feel like the arms that lifted her yesterday. But she was drunk.

She was really drunk.

Maybe she was making things up.

When Himchan saw the downtrodden look on her face, he softened.

"Eun Ah."

She looked up and saw the warmth in his eyes. "What?" She mumbled quietly.

He handed her the cup of coffee and leaned against the back of the couch. "I think you should go to therapy."

Eun Ah didn't react as violently as he thought she would. She paused before slowly taking a sip from the mug. "Therapy?"

"I think that you need to talk to someone about what you've been going through instead of just bottling it up."

"I don't want to go to therapy." He felt guilt and pain fill his heart when he saw how vulnerable and weak she looked. Her voice was coated in desperation, like a kid not wanting to let go of their mom for school.

"It's not that bad. It's once a week for an hour. You don't even need to talk if you don't want to. Just go and listen to her or just sit in silence. I just think that it's about time that you go out without being drunk."

Eun Ah looked away, "I've been to therapy before, it didn't help."

"This woman has no idea about your past. All she knows about is Yongguk, a lot of people in our world have talked to her. So she knows about gangs and what we're into. Maybe it won't help at all, but Eun Ah, you can't keep trying to find your solution in alcohol. You can't keep being scared."

"You…I think yours is fear. I think you're scared of your life."

Eun Ah swallowed and stared at her ring. She had been missing work for weeks, but Halmoni said she understood. She was making Himchan lie to her, telling her that she was fine.

Himchan.

He had put his entire life on hold to look after Eun Ah and she repaid him by being difficult. Maybe it was time for her to swallow her prideful feelings for the sake of everyone else.

Maybe it was time to finally act her age.

"Fine."

Himchan's eyes widened at her compliance. "Really?"

She nodded and handed him the mug back. "When's the first session?"

"At noon. You should shower and get changed."

She gave him a look before turning away. She reached the top of the stairs before looking over her shoulder.

"Thanks, Himchan."

------

The therapist jogged out of her room, catching Eun Ah by the arm. "I'm sorry, Eun Ah. I'm sorry if I pressured you. That was my fault. Would you mind coming back? Maybe we can try this all over again."

Eun Ah kept her back turned towards the woman as she took a few deep breaths. It was barely 30 minutes into their session and it had already gone to .

"I'm not sure this is working." She mumbled.

"Then you don't need to answer my questions. You can sit in silence and run out the clock. Just, come back."

Eun Ah swallowed the lump in before walking back into the room. They sat back in silence with her gaze pinned on her ring.

God, she missed him so much.

She missed every look her gave her and every damn word that left his mouth.

"He never let me down." She mumbled under her breath.

The therapist sat up straighter when she heard Eun Ah speak. "Never?"

Eun Ah shook his head, "In my eyes, not once. Even when I thought he did, I'd find out that I was wrong."

"He sounds wonderful."

Eun Ah smiled when the woman spoke in present tense.

"Yeah…yeah he is."

Eun Ah stretched her arms over her back as she walked down the stairs. It was way past midnight and she had just woken up to get a glass of water. The house was empty since Yongguk had a 'job; to take care of. He had just kissed her and reassured her that everything would be fine.

Like he would before every 'outing.'

She knew that it was his job and he was doing it years before she knew him, but it still left her unsettled. She could barely sleep without knowing that he was okay.

She walked past the door and paused. She glanced at the matte glass pane in the middle of the door where 7 shadows crowded around. She stayed rooted to the ground and watched the figures huddle by the door.

She figured they were back, but she didn't get why they hadn't opened the door yet. She squinted her eyes and leaned towards the door to get a better listen on the murmurs on the other side.

"You open the door."

"Why do I have to?"

"Because, she'll be less mad at the maknae."

"Why doesn't Yongguk hyung do it? She can't stay mad at him."

"Guys, calm down, it'll be fine."

"She's going to burn us alive."

"Pssh, why are you so scared of her? What is she going to do?"

Eun Ah frowned and walked to the door, surprising them by swinging it open. Her eyes widened and a loud gasp left her l