"Where are you going?" Himchan asked when he saw Eun Ah holding Watson's leash while putting her shoes on by the door.

"Out." Eun Ah said vaguely. Something in the pit of her stomach  made her feel guilt. So much so that she didn't even want to tell Himchan. She felt like if she said that she was going to  another man's house, she's be seen as a traitor.

Leaving one gang house to go hang out at another.

But she really didn't know why she was even going in the first place. She met them all once and it was a very rushed and strange meeting. She couldn't explain why she agreed to go again. The only excuse she could come up with was that she needed a change of scenery.

Something that didn't remind her of Yongguk at every turn.

If anything, this should been see as a huge step for her.

Her therapist wanted her to start going out more, getting fresh air, interacting with new people, going on small walks, this was all that and more. She shouldn't have to feel guilty over that.

Himchan blinked at her blunt answer and frowned when it reminded him of the way Kris spoke. It just felt odd to him. After spending months, avoiding people and staying locked up in her room, she suddenly did a 180 in the span of a few days. It wasn't right and it worried him.

"Do you know when you'll be back?" He asked gently, trying not to sound too nosy.

She shrugged and opened the door before peeking over her shoulder, "I'm not sure, but if I'm gone too long, just check the GPS."

Himchan stared at her in confusion until he saw the teasing look in her eyes.

Yeah. He didn't like it at all.  

-----

Eun Ah waited on the porch while holding onto Watson's leash after hitting the doorbell a few times. The puppy was sniffing the potted plants until she could hear steady footsteps padding on the other side of the door.

The door swung open and Kris stared down at Eun Ah with a penetrating gaze and a smile-less face.

"Come in."

Eun Ah still wasn't used to Kris's way of speaking. Other than their run in at the therapist's office, Kris only spoke in shot blunt sentences. He spoke efficiently, never too many words, just enough to get his points across. It was almost as if words cost money and Kris was on a limited budget.

She stepped in and took Watson off his leash before kicking her shoes off. The little pup raced through the house, to explore the new territory, leaving Eun Ah to battle her own awkwardness.

Once she stood in the middle foyer she realized that she had no clue what she was supposed to do there. He never specified anything other than a time for her to come over.

"Would you like to come to the living room?" His question sounded more like a statement as he lead her to the room. She looked around the lavishly decorated room. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the empty space on the mantle.

It was so glaringly obvious, rows and rows of pictures except for the small space that dusted had collected over.

"I have to say, I was surprised with your invitation." She said as she took a seat on the couch.

He sat beside her and raised his brows. "Why?"

"The last time I came over, you seemed pretty mad. I didn't think you wanted me here." She said quietly, hoping not to sound too offended.

Kris made no attempt to comfort her or apologize but he watched her intensely before his eyes instinctively flickered to her ring.

"I didn't expect the other guys to be there, badgering you."

Eun Ah nodded, "They weren't badgering me. In fact, they were really sweet. Where are they now?"

Kris glanced towards the door before leaning back on the couch, "Around."

They sat in another silence and Eun Ah felt herself getting fidgety. She hated that they weren't doing anything, it felt awkward but the look on Kris's face seemed like he was totally comfortable with their empty silences and polite conversations. She wanted to turn on the TV or blast the radio, anything to fill in the gaps of silence.

A part of her wished that she didn't agree to come over just to avoid this weird conversation. She thought that the other guys would be there or they'd be some distraction or outside stimulant that would make everything feel more natural.

So much for an ice breaker.

The two of them didn't talk much and they didn't know anything about each other except for the basics. It was all out of nowhere that they were hanging out.

It wasn't organic.

It was like he was trying to force a friendship out of her.

Did he really feel that bad for her?

"So…what's up?" She asked amicably, hoping that he'd take the hint and explain the reason for his invite.

Kris blinked at her before his eyes were drawn to her finger again, "You're still wearing it."

Eun Ah was taken aback when she realized he was referring to her ring. She covered her finger defensively, her body shifting into a more hostile position.

"Of course." She shot back without missing a beat.

"Why?" He asked, his body shifting closer to her.

Eun Ah didn't notice that his arm was draped along the back of the couch where she was leaned against. The arm that was covered in Alice in Wonderland tattoos was so close to the back of her head that he could feel the strands of her hair tickling him.

Eun Ah's chest started feeling heavy and she couldn't breathe. She hated. Hated the mocking tone in his voice.

"Because I love him."

Kris's face immediately softened at her answer and his palm acted on its own, the back of her head.

Her heart jolted at the sensation and her eyes immediately snapped to Kris who was silently staring at her, his eyes seeming a lot more welcoming than usual.

The action was so intimate and calming, but it made her feel uncomfortable that it was coming from someone who she barely knew.

The most she's ever touched Kris in the past was a formal handshake.

She had no idea where this was coming from and why it was happening but that didn't change the fact that it made her feel strange.

And strange was better than nothing.

"I know." He said softly, his fingers slipping through her hair, "I know you do."

Her eyes were shaking as his fingers slid a little out of her hair and his thumb her cheek. Eun Ah felt her body trembling in confusion.

What is he doing?

"He is my whole life. My whole world." She whispered out, tears filling her eyes.

Kris didn't miss the tense that she spoke in, but he wasn't compelled to stop. "You were his whole world too."

Eun Ah didn't miss the tense that he spoke in, either.

"How do you do it?" He asked cautiously, his fingers still entangled in her locks.

"Do what?" She mumbled, her heart moving unevenly.

"How do you live after something that?"

She looked down, her breaths coming out in unstable huffs and her heart unravelling at the thought of Yongguk's smell, touch and voice.

"You don't."

Kris looked stricken at her answer and glanced over at the mantel.

She squeezed her fingers, trying to feel the ring press into her fist. Her mind drifted to the way she felt when Yongguk first kissed her.

When he kissed her in front of Kris.

She could feel it now, the heart pumping adrenaline, the head spinning ecstasy and the mind numbing euphoria.

The urge to grab onto him and let his taste linger in the farthest corners of . He was her drug.

Her heart was craving for him.

She was screwed.