63. Post-Trauma
The Blood Brother CodeWarning: Reference to suicidal intent
At three in the morning, Sehun was still bewildered by the number of people in his front room.
“I’m… not happy about this,” he said for about the fifth time. “I don’t understand why….”
“It’s the safest place for them both at the moment,” Lay replied wearily. “I know it’s not ideal, but the fact is that we currently need Xiumin in witness protection alongside Semi and they need to be somewhere Baekhyun and Suho don’t know about until Baekhyun at the very least is caught.”
“But….” Sehun glanced helpless at Xiumin, who was sitting on the ground with his back against the sofa and his legs drawn up into his chest, expression listless.
“He won’t give you any trouble. He’s practically catatonic.”
Sehun pursed his lips into a thin line. “Just as long as it’s not permanent.”
“It won’t be.” Lay stifled a yawn. “Hopefully.”
Grabbing his peaked cap from a nearby chair, he departed, leaving the room in a heavily charged silence. Sehun glanced at Xiumin several times – the man didn’t move – and then shuffled into the kitchen to make himself a snack.
Not that much later, Chanyeol joined him, completely white in the face, to grab some hard liquor from one of the cupboards.
“Sehun,” he said in a low voice, “please don’t keep your sleeping pills out in obvious places. I managed to talk your sister out of overdosing on them, but it’s best if the temptation isn’t there to start with.”
He poured himself a shot and downed it, and before Sehun could reply, there was movement by the kitchen door. Xiumin was standing nervously in the doorframe, his gaze flickering rapidly between the two men.
“Is she all right?” he asked, his voice rasping with urgency.
Chanyeol’s response was blunt. “No.”
Sehun hated the concern in Xiumin’s eyes and the way his knuckles whitened as he gripped onto the doorpost, but what he hated more was that he couldn’t tell whether or not it was sincere. Chanyeol looked equally dubious.
“She’s sleeping,” the psychiatrist grunted.
“She’s going to get nightmares.” Xiumin looked from Chanyeol to Sehun. “Someone needs to stay with her. Sehun, you need to—”
Sehun crammed the last of his food into his mouth. “Don’t tell me what to do!” His shoulder knocked against Xiumin’s as he stormed out of the room.
For a long moment, there was silence as Chanyeol poured himself and downed another shot and Xiumin watched him. Chanyeol was the one to finally give into the tension and break it. He poured a third shot and held it out to Xiumin, who glanced over his shoulder in the direction Sehun had gone, and then warily eyed the shot glass before inching over to the table to take it.
“What happened?” Chanyeol asked him. “She wouldn’t say a thing.”
Xiumin knocked the alcohol back, eyes burning as it stung his throat, and then dropped heavily into a chair.
“I’m not entirely sure. I think Byun Baekhyun tried to carve her arm open again. He cornered her in the living room with a bunch of candles and she had blood on her when I found her.”
“Too much has happened to that girl,” Chanyeol muttered. “Too much.”
“If Jongin and I hadn’t got there when we did….” Xiumin swallowed, and then rubbed his face vigorously, almost as if he was trying to scrub dirt off it. “She could… if her bodyguard hadn’t been there, we’d both be dead. If either of us had arrived a little later, I… I don’t know what….” His voice choked up and he swallowed again, shaking his head. “He was toying with her. The only reason she was still alive when we reached the apartment is because he was so furious he must have been planning to do something awful to her and….” He choked again, reaching for the bottle of alcohol, and took several quick gulps. “Nobody deserves that. Nobody.”
Before Xiumin could take another swig, Chanyeol relieved him of the bottle and put it on the floor beside his own chair. Xiumin slumped against the back of his seat.
“I think that was the most terrifying night of my life,” he whispered. “There was blood everywhere, I didn’t know Jongin could handle Baekhyun, Semi was on the brink of a panic attack… all I could think of was getting her out of the way as fast as possible, so I pushed her into the closet, but that only made it worse because I’m claustrophobic and there was too much blood and not moving meant Semi panicked more – I kissed her to calm her down. It probably made things worse.”
“You what?”
“I kissed her.” Xiumin closed his eyes. “Oh, God, why did I kiss her? I needed it and she needed it and it was the best way to keep us both calm and quiet and I….” He gulped audibly, tears filling his eyes. “If things were different— I mean, she’s a really nice girl and….”
“She likes you,” Chanyeol said accusingly.
“I know.” Xiumin’s voice was almost inaudibly. “That only makes it worse.”
“Do you feel bad about taking advantage of the situation?” Chanyeol asked, almost cautious.
“I pretty much harassed her. Of course I feel rotten.”
“Is that because of things that have happened to you or things that have happened to her?”
Xiumin didn’t answer the question. “I promised I wouldn’t touch her,” he murmured, half to himself. “Why is it the only promise I can’t keep?”
Frowning, Chanyeol leant forward and rested his arms on the table. “Are you attracted to her?”
In a split second, confused, distressed Xiumin was gone, and a scowling, much more alert man sat in his place.
“Am I attra—” He scoffed. “What do you think this is, a fairy tale?”
Chanyeol was left trying to sort out what was the real Xiumin and what wasn’t.
Semi felt exhausted when she woke up. She was covered in sweat as though she’d just had an appalling nightmare, and she couldn’t even prop herself up without her arms shivering so badly they had almost no strength in them.
Sehun was already almost dressed for work, doing up his tie in the mirror, but he noticed that she was awake.
“Chanyeol’s staying home to look after you,” he said, striding over and kissing her on the forehead. She couldn’t help a flinch at the contact. “I’ll be back at five.”
Nodding, Semi drew her legs up to her chest and hugged them tightly.
“Talk to him if you can, yeah?”
She shook her head. Sehun let out a tiny sigh and placed a gentle hand on her head. She tried not to flinch again. Sehun was safe. Her brother wasn’t going to harm her.
“Love you,” he said before disappearing.
The second he was out of the door, Semi broke down in tears. She didn’t even know why she was crying, but the relief of being able to let out the tears was almost shattering.
She was still curled up in a ball, salty tears drying on her face, when Minseok knocked on the door and let himself in with a tray of food. For a moment, it looked like he was going to greet her, but then he made eye contact and his words visibly
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