043: Wrestling And Admitting   

You don't tell anyone but Eunsul that you've broken up with Chanyeol; that you and Chanyeol are just best friends and your feelings were scattered all over the place, resulting in the error of thinking that it was love when in reality it was just you two trying to keep each other close.

  It was Chanyeol being protective and you being naive.          "Hana," Eunsul says, and she grabs your hand as you two sit on the edge of your bed, only for it to turn into a hug. "I'm here if you need anything."   You frown, "I'm not hurt, Eunsul."    She sighs and pats your back. "It's okay. You don't have to admit anything yet."           "But I'm not hurt."    Eunsul keeps patting you. "It's okay. I know you're hurt."   You chuckle. "I'm not hurt. I'm happy and relieved and a bit overwhelmed."    Eunsul pulls away. "What?"             "We're best friends. That's all we were. We were just confused. I'm not hurt."   Eunsul's lips start curling up on the corner but it's not in a mean way but rather in sympathy and relieve.             "Are you sure you're okay."   You nod again, "beyond positive."             "You don't regret anything, do you?"    That's a question you ask yourself a lot, and now you can say with confidence that-            "No, I don't regret anything. I want to be with Kris."   The words are smooth like cream on your tongue when you say them out loud. You feel like you've jumped over a huge barrier.    Eunsul full on smiles. And then she looks happier than you.             "Alright!" She claps, standing up. "You should go tell him that you're single now and that you love him! Easy peasy!"   You yank her arm to sit her back down on your bed when she turns towards the door. "Where are you going?"            "To tell Kris about how you two can be together now." She looks so naive and clueless and you don't have the heart to and so you casually decide to explain yourself.            "Eunsul," you roll your eyes. "I'm not gonna be with him just like that."            "Wait, what?" The girl frowns. She looks conflicted. "Let me guess, you're gonna play that stupid game you two always play where you pretend you don't like eachother and at the end it results in no relationship improvement."    You roll your eyes again.   Eunsul paces back and forth in front of you, frustrated. "So you're just not gonna tell him that you like him! And you're not gonna pursue your relationship together? Are you just going to pretend that your feelings never existed? ARE YOU JUST GOING TO GIVE UP IN MY- I MEAN, BOTH YOUR EFFORTS TO BE TOGETHER!"    You tell her to calm down because your parents, Luhan and Nana are down stairs and so is Kris and the last thing you need is for him to hear that confession all of a sudden.            "Eunsul," you begin as you force the girl to sit down on the edge of your bed again and listen to you. "I am going to tell him how I feel. However, I will not just accept him. He has been a total and hurt my feelings and made me cry that day at the ice cream shop-"          "What ice cream shop-"   You shush her and continue. "I don't want to just accept him when I was the only one that put in the effort. Besides, if he really does like me- which we are yet to be 100 percent sure about- then he will have to try. I don't want to chase after him anymore if all I'm doing is just wasting my time on someone who will never return my feelings."   Eunsul releases a heavy breath and then she smiles. "So you want him to say sorry and instead of you pursuing him, you want him to pursue you?"    You smile and lie back on your bed and Eunsul takes that as a yes.            "I also want him to admit it," you say from where you're facing the ceiling.             "Huh?"    You glance at Eunsul then back at your white ceiling. "I want him to admit, in my face, that he likes me. I want him to be sure and sincere; no doubt and indecisiveness."    You glance at Eunsul, but the girl is lost in her thoughts.           "What are you thinking about?"    She looks at you. "Nothing important. I just thought about Yixing and if he's ever going to ask me out or if he will ever accept me when I ask him out. Do you think it's gonna take long?" She doesn't look sad but just rather curious. She lies next to you in a relax position, her hand supporting her head.    You face her, "Why? Are you getting bored or tired?"    She chuckles, "Nah. I can wait for him."    You kind of admire that. "So you have no plans to stop pursuing him?"    She nods. "Well, that is unless two options are brought up."           "Which are?"             "The only two options that will make me stop chasing him are one, he tells me to stop pursuing him. Two, I find someone I like more than him or I just lose interest in dating. If those options happen then I will stop pursuing him. However, I don't think I'm really gonna stop because I really like Yixing."             "What if he never makes up his mind?"    Eunsul smiles, "If that happens, I'll keep asking him and if he doesn't make up his mind, then I will just have to move on. It happens. Not all relationships are meant to be."             "What if he starts dating someone else?"             "He has a right to date anyone he wants," Eunsul says, though there's a hint of discomfort in her eyes.             "So you would be okay with it?"    She bites her bottom lip, "I mean... I wouldn't be happy about it but I wouldn't be able to do anything about it so I'll just have to it up. Besides, Yixing doesn't seem interested in anyone else but me at the moment so stop making up all these dumb scenarios in your head, will you?"    You raise a brow. "If you like him so much, I guess it's only fair that I tell you some advice. Watch out for some of the girls at school. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but Yixing has some fangirls."    Eunsul snorts, "Trust me, I've noticed. It's so annoying. Especially this one girl in his class with blonde hair. When I visited him, she was there just glaring at me. Good thing I had that blanket to cover us. I wonder how jealous she looked."    You raise a brow in question because you don't know who's she talking about. However, after just three seconds, the name and face pop into your head. She talking about Jiyeon. Jiyeon is this girl that dyed her hair blonde last year and most guys call her lollipop, though you're not sure why they call her that. She's also had a major crush on Yixing since freshman year but Yixing has never been interested in her. Besides, after he rejected her last year, she hasn't tried anything with him. She mostly just watches him from afar.               "Oh," you say, "I know who you're talking about. Her name is Jiyeon. She asked Yixing out last year but he was dating that senior back then so he rejected her."              "What senior?" Eunsul frowns.    You remember that Chanyeol told you her name back when you two went to Sehun's party. "Her name was Seun. She was the cutesy, shy type. At least that's what Chanyeol told me."          "He dated a senior? Why did they break up?"    You shrug, "Chanyeol told me that they had to part ways because she was a year older and so she graduated first."            "So? They could have still dated even if they were going to different schools."              "Maybe she didn't want to date a high schooler since she was going to college."    Eunsul snorts, "What idiotic girl would leave Yixing? He's so shy and cute."            "Maybe she wanted a balance."            "What do you mean?" Eunsul sits up.    You sit up after her, crossing your legs. "You know how Yixing is cute and shy sometimes?" Eunsul nods. You continue, "Well, she was also shy and cute, too. Maybe she wanted a really manly guy to balance her out."    Eunsul rolls her eyes, "Yixing is manly and he's also tough."            "Says who?" You snort in laughter.    Eunsul looks likes she's about to kick you in the face with her glare. You stops laughing for your own safety.              "The day at the party he looked after me. And he even took me home walking. That's a huge deal if you consider where I live. No boyfriend of mine has done that before. They're too scared. Besides, I like Yixing the way he is. It's his ex's lost for breaking up with him."    You think that's the sweetest thing in the world.             "Besides, her game must have been weak."    Nevermind, you think.               "Why are we friends again?" You laugh and she hits you with one of your pillows.          ******************       It's still snowing and you wonder if Kris is looking out the window the way you are. He did say he liked snow...    Your phone rings. You groan because you really don't wanna talk to anybody at the moment. You look at your phone on your bed from where you're standing by your window and you see that it's an unknown number. It stops ringing eventually; however, after just a couple of seconds, the unknown number starts calling again. You decide to pick it up.             "Hello?" You answer.    What you get as a response is someone screaming. You frown. You're about to hang up but then another voice hushes the screaming voice until there's silence. "Hello?" The same voice says and your frown deepens because you recognize that voice as Sehun's.              "Hello? Hana?"    You sit on your bed, "How the hell did you get my number?"    You hear tao's voice scream, "We had to find your mom!"    You frown even more, "What the ? She didn't tell me about this. Did you guys assault my mother to get my number?"            "No, we followed her to the grocery store and told her we were friends with you and Chanyeol. We showed her pictures of us and Chanyeol together and she believed us. We also had to pay for her groceries, and then she gave us your number."    You almost laugh. "You do realize my mom took advantage of you guys, right?"    Sehun scoffs, "Oh, we know. However, we needed your number urgently. Besides, this was the only nice way to get your number. The other two options was to steal Chanyeol's phone or make Tao fight your mom until she gave us your number."   You hear screams in the background again. "Okay, but first can you tell me who the hell is screaming and why it sounds like a fight just broke out?"    Sehun laughs, "Oh, it's nothing. Just Tao and me babysitting my younger cousins."    That makes sense.              "Alright, why did you call?"    Sehun takes a deep breath, "Why did you break up with Chanyeol?"    There's complete silence in the background now and you know that that Tao is listening and probably hushed the kids. However, you pay no attention to that but rather to the fact that they know that you broke up with Chanyeol.              "Who told you I broke up with Chanyeol?"    There's a gasp. However, it's not coming from the phone but rather around you. You turn your head towards the door and almost let out a scream when you see Luhan gaping at you. The boy jumps when you automatically throw one of your pillows at him.            "What are you doing here?" You yell. Luhan kicks your pillow with his foot and leans against the door frame.              "Who are you with?" Sehun asks on the phone. You figure this is not a great time to have a conversation.             "No one. I'll call you later," and then you hang up on the boy and glare at Luhan. "Do you know how to knock?"    Luhan is squinting his eyes at you, crossing his arms. "You're single now?"    You feel like you've been caught in an act of betrayal. "What?"    Luhan stands straight. "You're single now?" He repeats.              "That," you click your tongue, "Is none of your business."    That is the only answer Luhan needed. You notice the exact moment he decides to run. His eyes wonder to his feet and t