love is a beautiful pain

How wrong can a 'scream' be? Especially in kids where it has to be one of their second nature. Even in adults—my parents, for example—I've seen them do 'it' anywhere, at any time, including the hallway of our classroom. Every time they made it looked like they were about to scream at each other, darkness struck. My heart silenced as it torn between right and wrong. Bit by bit, a truism line was drawn: If I am in their place, at any cost, I will not scream—Why? because it's embrassing. Because it is something that a parent should not have done in front of their kids.

Some screams to redeem their innocence, for which until now, I still couldn't wrap my mind around it. Then, at the other extremes, there are also kids who did it for the 'attention'. I had never felt like I belonged nowhere near to the two extremes and yet it registered in my mind for as long as I remember.

The opiniated me was eleven year old at that time. Coincidently, I had also gained another nickname in the same year. Whether it was 'ghost heart' or 'god's heart', either way, both ended up being associated with me for the whole year, until december—the month where she started to write histories in my life.