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"Annyeong Journal,

Ever since I met Lee Jinki, I knew I wanted to spend my life with him. And after about 6 months of knowing him, he said that he... Loved me. Hearing him say those words, even though we hadn't known each other for very long, I felt ecstatic. We began dating that day, and we were so happy. So, so happy and... In love. And that's when it went wrong.

He became an idol. He became Onew, the Leader of SHINee, the person with so many fangirls. Someone who I couldn't be with. I watched his shows, his interviews, and everything I could find about him. I saw his personality be taken away from him, the things I loved about him slowly disintegrating. The percentage of how much he was being himself slowly decreasing. It all made me sick. But he always came back to me, always; and when he did he became Lee Jinki again. And I loved him. And I stayed with him, even if we couldn't go on proper dates or even meet each other in public. I didn't care about that, all that mattered was that I loved him. 

After a year of dating I decided to follow in his footsteps, and I became a trainee. For two whole years we hardly came into contact with each other, we were both so busy, but when we did it made up for it. 

One day when we went out, for the first time in months, everything went wrong AGAIN. We were wearing complete disguises, but since we hadn't met each other in person for so long we got a little excited, so we went to a cafè. In order to eat properly we had to move some of our disguise. And half-way through eating Jinki reached over and removed my sunglasses, only to remove his own and stare into my eyes. Sadly we didn't notice the flash of a camera. 

There was a scandal about us both. People were convinced we were dating, and we were but that's not the point. Lee Sooman asked us what this was all about, and just as I was about to lie Jinki blurted out the truth. What the eldest in the room did next shocked me. He... Smiled. He said that the majority of fans supported us, and that they wanted us to be together. Haha now that I think about it I was being a bit of a drama queen by saying that this experience was oh-so horrible. To be honest though, I was nervous in the office. And I thought that was bad. I was absolutely TERRIFIED during the press conference. I fidgited and a light blush covered my cheeks. I couldn't speak. Luckily Jinki could though, and we admitted we had been dating for three years. 

It's been just over two years since then, and life was perfect with Jinki, ignoring the few sasaengs and anti-fans anyway. And the fact that 3 weeks ago, I found something out about myself, something that's not so good. But I can't tell Jinki yet. It's just that I..." 

Everything else, everything after that, seemed to have been rubbed out and rewritten thousands of times over. It was all indecipherable. Well, all excluding a small signature at the end reading "~Amethyst". Tears hit the page, the drops of water cascading down the reader's face, creating spots on the page.

"Why?" The reader asked softly, their tears now smudging the dainty writing. "Why didn't you tell me?" The reader was Jinki...

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