Jackson was really quiet. He sat next to me leaning his head to his hand and read. He was so focused, exactly like at the movietheatre a while ago when I had to sit next to him. That was when he hated me.
   ”Did you really hate me?” I asked quietly, not bothering to look away from the beautiful ceiling. The waterdrops looked like they were going to fall down, but instead they hit the window and disappeared. Jackson moved his arm and let it rest freely on the table. We were still at the library. Our lesson had probably already started.
   ”I don't know”, he replied staring the bookshelf in front of him. ”I still don't know what I feel...”
   ”Did you regret punching me?”
   This time Jackson turned his head just a little to see my face. I bit my lip and stared at the ceiling. ”I do regret punching you. I already apologized for that...”
   ”Yeah I know”, I chuckled. The rain wasn't stopping. It was getting worse. 
   ”Why don't you hate me? I mean... you have all the reasons in the world to hate me. I threatened you, I punched you, I was a complete dickhead.”
   ”I don't know”, I replied and smiled. ”I'm messed up.”
   ”Welcome to the club”, Jackson said. It was actually the first time we were having a proper conversation without either of us crying or trying to hurt the other.
   ”How's your mom?” I asked Jackson and turned to look at him. He sighed and looked at me. Those brown, almost black eyes, they caged me. Suddenly the world disappeared and all I could hear was the sound of rain drumming against the window glass.
   ”She's better.”
   ”Really?”
   ”Yeah”, he said, still looking me in the eyes. ”She eats much better and goes out more often. They're gonna divorce. My parents I mean.”
   Divorce... Suddenly I thought about my parents. What if they divorced too? What if my mom and Jackson's dad hooked up... ”I-I'm sorry to hear that.”
   ”It's fine, really”, Jackson mumbled. ”It's better like that. Things would've ended up like this eventually anyway...”
   ”What do you mean?” I asked and knitted my brows. Jackson just smiled slightly, turning his glare away from me.
   ”Jackson? Why would things end up like this?”
   ”I already told you”, he said quietly, staring at the letters on the paper. ”I'm sick.”
   I swallowed and shook my head absently. ”W-what? You're sick?” I stuttered and tried to understand what he was talking about. He hadn't told me about being sick, had he? When had he said something like that? ”I-I don't recall anything like that...”
   ”Yeah I figured so...” Jackson said. His voice was strangely calm. Like he had accepted it, whatever it even was. ”But don't worry about it, it's nothing special. I'll be fine.”
   Now I could see it clearly. Jackson was sick. His eyes, the purple circles around them. His walk, his shaking hands... He was sick. ”What is it?” I asked. I felt a frog in my throat and the words didn't come out clearly.
   ”Trust me Miranda. It doesn't. Matter.” Jackson's voice was deep and clear. ”I'll be fine.”
   ”I trust you”, I said. ”But for exchange you have to trust me too. What is it”, I insisted and tried to have an eye contact with him. ”What's wrong with you?”
   Jackson sighed and let out a dark laughter. It didn't match the situation at all. ”I'll be fine.”

It was impossible to get something out of Jackson Wang. He had decided to keep the information about his sickness to himself, and that was how it was going to be. After a good while of me trying to ask him about the sickness, he still just kept saying he'll be fine, he didn't say anything else. Nothing. So I decided to trust him. If he said he's going to be fine, so be it. I knew nothing, and he didn't want to tell me anything. End of discussion.
   Jackson ate his lunch and left. Without saying a word. I thought it was weird. Of course it was weird. He just had said that he needs me and that he was sick. And then he just... left. He left me alone in the library. Just like I had left him in the bed the other night.
   ”Uhm”, I heard a low voice behind me. I almost jumped up from my seat. My heart begin to race against my chest. I swore I had never heard that voice before. ”Miranda, right?”
   I turned around to see a redhaired guy, leaning against a wall across the common area of the library. I looked around me, to see if there was someone else who he might've talked to. There was no one.
   ”Yeah I'm Miranda”, I stuttered to the guy. I had seen him before. He was Mark, Jackson's best friend. And he had heard us. I was sure about it.
   ”Yeah...” I'd never really had a proper chance to talk to him. He always seemed so arrogant and didn't even bother to look at me when I walked by. I felt like he knew he was above me. But when he started to talk, the image of him changed in my eyes. For a second or two. ”I'm Mark.”
   ”Yeah I remember you”, I said. I felt a bit weird just suddenly talking to him. He had never even glanced at me. Mark walked across the room and stopped in front of me. He glanced at the chair where Jackson had been sitting just a moment ago. ”May I?”
   ”Of course”, I mumbled. I knew he had something to say to me. Why would he otherwise bother to talk to me. It was obvious that he wasn't very fond of me. Mark's mouth was a straight line. He nodded and sat down slowly, like a cat, with a perfect control of his movements. He leaned his back against the chair and bit his lower lip. That was something that Jiho usually did.
   ”Okay, I'm gonna go straight to the topic. You probably have noticed that I'm not a big fan of you. I'm not sure why, but I just... there's something about you that makes me want to stay away from you.”
   I swallowed and turned to look at the book Jackson had been reading. What in earth was he about? What had I ever done to him?
   ”I'm sorry for being rude, I'm just trying to make this quick”, he continued, looking at me with his judging eyes. ”I know what's going on. I've seen you with that dude, Woo Jiho. And I know you guys are more than friends.”
   ”How could you possibly know that?” I said back at him.
   ”I just know – It's not the point. Do you have any idea what you're doing? Jackson is my best friend and I happen to know what he's going through.”
   ”It's none of your busine-”
   ”It is my ing business he's like a brother to me!” Mark suddenly raised his voice. ”And you're ing ruining him! I can't just watch you breaking him for good! I can