He had wanted to go to the cafe with Sehun but his boyfriend flatly refused and said that Luhan needed to spend his free time by studying. Stubborn as ever, Luhan had cried his discontentment in front of the lockers, not caring that he was giving an amusing show to some students passing by. Sehun had sighed and promised that he would come after he’d be done with his shift.
Frowning, Luhan had turned around and stomped his way to the library without kissing Sehun goodbye.
Irritation and sorrow were having a battle on Luhan’s brain. Sehun had been acting like this all week and it was starting to get on his nerves. Luhan knew Sehun was doing this for him, but there were times when he needed rest, times when he needed Sehun.
It had been an hectic week that consisted of intense study. He didn’t spend a lot of time with his boyfriend. In fact, he did, but Luhan didn’t want to count these days with numerous books in front of them. Every time Luhan had tried to divert Sehun by kissing him or initiating skinship, he had been ignored or glared at. Luhan pouted at the thought because Sehun always ended up having the last word.
Also, it didn’t help that his boyfriend was working which meant he was too tired at night, thus, refute Luhan’s advances. Luhan was pretty annoyed by it but at least, Sehun had said sorry countless times, promising every night that he would make up for it.
Luhan was maybe acting impatient, but he was still waiting.
"Hey Luhan."
The familiar voice brought Luhan out of his reverie. He looked up and blinked, opening his mouth to say something, anything but nothing came out. Either his brain was acting slowly, either he stayed agape too long for the person in front of him to take a seat in front of him and say,
"You don’t need to say anything."
Luhan closed his mouth. He stared at Junmin and waited for his friend to speak up.
"I’m sorry." Junmin started as he looked at the open book in front of Luhan. He couldn’t look at Luhan’s eyes. Not after what he did. "I know that no matter how many sorry’s I say it’ll never be enough so I’ll say it only once."
Luhan was not sure if he forgave him yet, but he accepted the excuse with a little nod.
"I will return to Beijing."
"What?" Luhan sounded calm but he was actually surprised. "Why?"
"Because the reason I came back here is fine without me." Junmin looked up at Luhan’s face for the first time. "I'll be honest. I didn’t come back here for studies, I came here for you."
Luhan was at loss of words.
Junmin smiled thinly. “My parents were against it anyway, especially my father who want me to take over his company. He didn’t understand why I left a month after I turned 18.”
"I–" Luhan didn't know what to say after hearing that. Yet, he couldn't help but feel bad for Junmin who helped him like a big brother and even a father when he was younger. Evidently, Luhan was thankful but, despite wanting to repay his friend for so long, Luhan realized that he will never be able to; he couldn't give Junmin what he wanted. "I’m, Junmin I'm sor–"
"Don’t. Really, you don’t have to be. I’m glad for you Luhan. I’m glad you found friends looking up to you and someone you can love." Junmin noticed that Luhan wanted to say something but he pursued, "I’m fine. I had time to think and I should have never try to force my feelings on you."
"Here you are."
Without knowing, Luhan held his breath as he darted his eyes between Sehun coming towards the table and Junmin. He didn't notice letting it out a second after when the two boys in front of him exchanges smiles. Luhan couldn't believe his own eyes so he asked, "You two are okay?"
Sehun laughed at the incredible expression on his boyfriend's face. "No, this is not a joke, we talked and now we're fine."
"B-but when? How?"
"Yesterday," Junmin replied as he stood up. "Let's say we had a compromise?" With a wave at a dumbstruck Luhan and a smiling Sehun, Junmin threw over his shoulder a "See you" and waved before walking out.
Luhan stared blankly at Junmin's retreating back. "Where and when did you two talk? What compromise?"
Closing the book and putting it along with some discarded papers on Luhan's bag. "You're too curious," he said as he threw the bag over his shoulder and headed towards the exit. He smiled when he heard hurried footsteps behind him.
"Hey! Why don't you just rep–"
Turning around and bringing Luhan in his arms, Sehun gave his shocked boyfriend a kiss that hopefully would erase everything in his mind. By the color and expression on Luhan's face, Sehun could tell that he succeeded. "This is for leaving earlier without saying goodbye." He took the hand of his frozen boyfriend and trailed him out of the library.
The first sense Luhan found back was his sight as he asked, "Where are we going?" When he noticed that they were walking on the oposite direction of their homes.
Sehun chuckled at Luhan's distant tone.
"We're on our way to spend some time together."
***
Luhan was boucing around the attraction park, doing every roller coaster, eating everything he posed his eyes on. Sehun was trying to keep up but Luhan was running everywhere. He was acting worse than a child – he looked like one anyway.
Not that Sehun was bothered by it. He liked it better when Luhan was happy and smiling as he finished a cotton candy. The smile on his face was enough for Sehun to forget about his sore legs.
"Isn't that my favorite couple?!"
Sehun turned his head at the familiar voice, searching around the crowd where Baekhyun could be. Luhan found him first, pointing at someone waving his arms widely. They would have not find him so easily if Baekhyun was not on his boyfriend's shoulder.
"Hey Baekhyun, Chanyeol," Luhan greeted with a wide smile.
Baekhyun jumped off, hitting Chanyeol's head on the process and ran to give his baby a warm hug before stepping back and taking Chanyeol's hand. He didn't notice that his tall boyfriend was wincing and rubbing his shoulder. Baekhyun may be small, he was quite heavy. Not that Chanyeol would ever say it directly to him if he feared for his life.
"Look at you two," Baekhyun started as he looked at Luhan and Sehun from head to toe. "The cutest couple." He took his phone out of his coat's pocket at the speed of light and snapped a picture of his two surprised friend. "Okay now, Sehun, take Luhan in your arms and kiss him as if there was –"
"You will never leave them alone or will you?"
Baekhyun spunned around and scowled at the person, once again, talking to him when Baekhyun told him more than once that he hated his voice – and his whole being. "Kai..." He greeted, voice sickeningly sweet. He faked a smile only because Kyungsoo was next to him.
"Don't worry, I'm not pleased to see you either." Kai could see Chanyeol pleading him to stop talking, and maybe he should, but Baekhyun's fuming face was too entertaining. "Hey, Baekhyun, be careful, your face's really not pretty like that."
Chanyeol quickly reached to grasp his boyfriend's hand, stopping him from murdering Kai. "Baek, Baek! He's joking, please, Ba–"
A loud gasp cut Chanyeol's failed attempts of holding back his boyfriend.
"Sehun! You know I love you very much right?"
The latter eyed his boyfriend's suspiciously. There was no way Luhan would declare his love for him for no reason. He followed Luhan's gaze and rolled his eyes. "Seriously? Aren't you full– hey!" Sehun didn't finish that he was being tugged towards the ice cream shop that had Luhan's mouth watering for a good minute. A second after they started running, another gasp was heard.
"I want one too! Pay me one Yeol!"
"What?! Why–" Chanyeol sighed when he noticed that Baekhyun was not next to him anymore. "Okay.." he muttered to no one. It was useless to try to understand why he was going to pay when his boyfriend was Byun Baekhyun. Pout or glare, Baekhyun always had what he wanted in the end.
As he watched Chanyeol heading at the shop with slumped shoulders, Kai shook his head. Chanyeol and Sehun were so whipped. Their boyfriends had them wrapped around their little fingers. Kai was not like them. Kai was strong. Kai was not someone to agree directly or spend his money for someone else because his own boyfriend would say;
"I want an ice cream too."
"What flavor? How many?" Kai asked as he took the hand of a scared looking Kyungsoo. "I can buy you the whole shop– no, wait! I can buy you every shops, just ask me!"
Kyungsoo blinked. "I– what..? No, I just want–"
"The whole attraction park? Okay!"
***
Luhan was gleefully eating his ice cream and Sehun settled on watching him. The way he was staring at Luhan would make anyone think he was a creep if you asked Kai.
Still, it was cute how he would always assist Luhan by wiping the cream around his mouth when the latter’s tongue didn’t do the job. Luhan gave him a bright smile the first time he did that, took a spoonful of his ice cream and poked at Sehun’s lips, urging him to open his mouth. Sehun had refused with a shook of his head and Kai had an idea why – if Sehun’s eyes devoring Luhan meant anything.
It was unusual to witness such a scene without a certain someone crying a So cute! out of nowhere and taking a hundred photos per second. That certain someone was too busy feeding his boyfriend, motioning him to part his mouth with a Aah sound as for a child. But Chanyeol didn’t seem to mind as he accepted every spoon with a goofy smile and let his weird boyfriend pat his head everytime like a proud mother.
Kai sighed. Him and Kyungsoo were clearly the only sane couple here.
"Oh, Luhan, did you receive a reply?"
Luhan’s mouth was full of ice cream so he took that as a pretext to let out a little hum as he blinked at Baekhyun.
"What reply?" Sehun asked as he diverted his gaze from his boyfriend who looked like he was caught stealing.
Baekhyun gave Chanyeol another spoon of pink cream and peck his lips as a congratulation for finishing the cup. He heard sounds of someone throwing up but decided to pay Kai no attention. “An university Luhan applied for and I think he said he’d received a reply today, right?”
Luhan finally gulped down his ice cream and replied Baekhyun with a thin smile and a nod, hoping that it would stop the questions concerning his future. He really didn’t want to talk about it, not in front of Sehun. But Luhan knew that his boyfriend wouldn’t give up the subject that easily as he asked,
"What university? Why didn’t you tell me about it?"
"I.. uhm.." Luhan played with his spoon and twirled the reamaining of his vanilla cream, wishing a decent answer could appear on it. "You.. It’s– you were busy."
Sehun frowned slightly. “And? You could have tell me.”
Luhan found himself frowning too at Sehun’s reproachful tone. “Yes? And when exactly? All you did was erasing me from your sight and force me to study.”
As he stared at Sehun, he saw his features softening into a beautiful blank. His eyes were torned between saying sorry and another thing Luhan couldn’t put his finger on.
Luhan was the first to break the gaze, sadness was taking over anger way too quickly lately. He could feel Sehun’s eyes boring holes into the side of his face as he finished his dessert, the cold taste cooling down his want to hug Sehun and cry on his arms until his boyfriend would understand that Luhan just wished to stay with him.
The atmosphere was tense for a few seconds after Luhan’s words. Baekhyun was quick to light up the mood by changing the subject to Kai’s stupidity. The latter gave an incredulous look at his boyfriend for joining Baekhyun and agreeing with everything he said. Even adding some things himself. It earned a lot of laughter, even from Luhan who tried to stop them by saying that Kai was actually smart.
"Once in a blue moon," Sehun added.
And just like that, the mood was back to normal…
***
The three couples parted their ways an hour after, each heading home to study, rest before the first exams which was in two days, or explain some unsaid things.
But Luhan didn’t want to explain anything. He knew Sehun would bring up that university thing again and Luhan could already feel anger rising on his chest just by thinking about it.
It didn’t help that they were near the park. The park that Luhan didn’t want to look at anymore. The beautiful memories that were created thanks to it were veiled by that painful one. A painful one that Luhan had difficulty to forget; the images of the pink flowers tainted by foot printed, their radiance dusted by dirt, and Luhan was certain his boyfriend was upset because of it. That he found studying as an excuse to distance them.
Luhan learned from their argument how Sehun dealt with his feelings; reflecting alone. Luhan wished Sehun could open up a bit more. Just like the great news and happiness, Luhan wanted Sehun to let him be part of his problems, of his worries.
Luhan wanted to help him.
He wanted Sehun to trust him.
Luhan felt a squeeze at his hand and blinked up at Sehun. He looked around and furrowed his eyebrows. Why were they in the park? He was about to ask his question out loud but then, he wondered what Sehun was staring at as he followed his gaze and Luhan's frown disappeared behind a few blinks.
The sun was starting to go down and it was cold outside. The grass and leafs were whispering to each other as they fought against the strong wind. But Luhan didn’t pay it attention. He wasn’t cold, the only thing he could feel was Sehun’s warm hand, the only thing he could see was the red rose at his feet.
“You know," Sehun began as he stared at the red flower, "the flowers were just symbols, it’s not because this rose disappear that my love for you will do the same.”
Feeling numb, Luhan had trouble to say something, to even gather words. In between the mixture of emotions his mind was dealing with, Luhan thought Sehun was right. He should cherish what the symbol represent, not the symbol itself.
"For my mother’s flowers, I always thought it was something that kept her alive. She was really proud of it, she said one day that it was her Garden of love. I think I didn’t accept the fact that she left me, and the pink roses reminded me of her. I gave the symbols too much importance, forgetting the most important thing." Sehun pointed at his heart with his free hand. "As long as she’s here she’ll never leave."
Sehun's words and smile were what tugged the corner of Luhan's lips upwards. The rose is going to die one day but, Luhan didn't want it to be the case for their love.
"Do you know what it means?"
Luhan took his gaze off of the rose and rolled his eyes when he spotted Sehun's smirk. But it was soon replaced by a bright grin. "I think i did once… mind reminding me?"
"With pleasure."
And Luhan was glad Sehun didn’t chose the words but showed him directly, physically...
***
Luhan may had looked and acted like a five years old child when there were attractions and stands around him but, he certainly was a few years older that night when he straddled Sehun’s lap and started kissing him.
It was surely for thanking him plus, the lack of affection this last week, but Sehun couldn’t return it. He was disturbed with something else and he needed to speak it out loud to put his mind at ease.
Reluctantly, even While knowing that his action would anger Luhan, he pulled away. “Luhan, we need to..” Talking wasn’t easy for Sehun when he felt feather-like kisses drawing the side of his neck. His arms were betraying him by holding Luhan tighter, he frowned. “Luhan,” he called, his voice firmer, “About the university.”
Sehun sighed at the loss of lips on his skin. He could feel Luhan’s frown and he could already hear him huffing. But Luhan did none of those. When Sehun opened his eyes, his boyfriend was staring at him blankly before a smile slowly spread on his face.
"It’s nothing," he said while shaking his head and leaning in to claim Sehun’s lips but the latter stopped him with his hands. That was when Luhan frowned.
"Why didn’t you tell me?" Sehun asked softly, searching what Luhan’s brown eyes were hiding.
Growing nervous under Sehun’s unblinking stare, Luhan looked down. “It’s not important,” he answered too quietly while absentmindly tightening his arms around Sehun’s neck. He put on a thin smile before looking up at Sehun who didn’t seem to believe him.
"Why didn’t you tell me?" Sehun asked again. "Why didn’t you when you received a reply?" He saw Luhan’s smile wavering to finally let place for a defeated face. Sehun sighed. "I saw the letter this morning. Is it positive?"
Luhan wanted to be angry at himself for leaving the letter on the night stand before going to shower but he wasn’t. It was as if he was glad Sehun found it. “..It’s not important.”
"Luhan," Sehun started and Luhan didn’t like the tone he was using. He shut his eyes close wishing that Sehun would stop posing him questions but he didn’t. "Is the reply positive?"
After a good minute of struggle, Luhan nodded shortly then shook his head. “But I’m not going.”
"Why?"
Luhan bit his lower lip. It was hard enough to talk about the school he had been wanting to be part of for two months with Baekhyun, he didn’t think it would be this worse with Sehun. “Because…” A palm on his cheek lift his head up and Luhan was met with the reason behind Sehun’s question. “…Because it’s too far. I don’t want to be away from all of– hey!” With a pout, he rubbed his nose that Sehun just pinched.
“And why is it a problem? It’s not like we can’t see each other.”
"It’s not the same…" Luhan said childishly, pout still prominent as he rested his chin on Sehun's shoulder. "And you’ll be busy."
"You do know that we have the whole vacations to think about it?" Sehun said, rubbing Luhan’s back up and down and he could feel the latter relax under his touches. "And you need to pass the exams first anyway."
Luhan scowled. “It’ll be hard to fail when you forced me to study all week–” Luhan blinked, suddenly realizing something. He straightened up before blinking twice at Sehun’s wide grin then he gasped. “Y-you– you knew about– you did it on purpose?!”
Nuzzling Luhan’s jaw, Sehun hummed.
Luhan gaped. The whole week, Sehun was just helping him. Luhan thought it was because he was upset about the flowers or Junmin and oh my– Luhan gasped once again. “Sehun!” he cried as he pushed his proudly laughing boyfriend.
"What? I know you have a tendency to be distracted. Anyway, aren’t you happy to be ready?"
"I– yes, but–"
"I don't want to force you to go if you don't want to, I just want to be sure that you know there are time when we need to make a choice. Even if this choice is a hard decision to take, you pick it because it has the best outcome."
"I-I know but–"
"Also, you should stop being sad over something that’s going to happen in the future which is never sure. You need to enjoy what’s you're given on the present."
Luhan opened his mouth to retort but nothing came out since Sehun was actually right.
Absolutely right.
"Enjoying the present, huh?" Luhan smiled, liking Sehun’s choice of words. "I definitely will."
Sehun didn’t have time to blink that Luhan crashed his lips on his. The pression added to the surprise made him fall on the bed with Luhan on top of him who pressed kisses after kisses on his lips to show him how much he would treasure the present, how much he loved his present. He wanted Sehun to feel that he was the best gift Luhan ever received.
And if Luhan wanted to “enjoy the present” like this, Sehun was surely not going to complain…
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