Photograph

Photograph

I met her in our school. The time when we both bumped with each other on the stairs.

When I saw her, I knew she was the one. I wanted to talk to her. But I wasn't brave enough to approach her.

All I could do was to look at her from afar, and took photos of her. I may sound like a creeper, but that's what I did.

I took photos of her. Appreciating her beauty.

And finally, I gathered the courage to talk to her. And that's how "us" started.

 

 

"Loving can hurt, Loving can hurt sometimes."

So I stood there, seeing her crying. I disappointed her once again. I was a jerk.

 

"Donghae, please. When will you stop seeing her?", you said as tears streamed down your face. He tried to reach out for your hand as he said, "Ha Na, please. I'm sorry. I should have known. I'm sorry."

"Don't. I've been trying my best to be patient with you, but this is too much.", you said. And so you left Donghae standing at the living room.

 

"But it's the only thing that I know."

"You just don't learn from your mistakes don't you?", you told him. Donghae looked down at his feet. He didn't know how to respond.

You waited for him to respond but he didn't. You loved him. But this time, it was too much.

You gave him a second chance, a third chance, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, but you couln't handle the pain anymore.

And you couldn't take it anymore. So you said, "Let's finish this. I'm breaking up with you."

 

I should have told her I was sorry. I should have hugged her when she cried.

Regrets. Too much regret.

"And when it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes."

 

But I never wanted to hurt her. So I did what I have to do.

So you tried to pack your things. But you heard footsteps from behind.

You were about to turn around but you felt two arms wrapped around your body.

You heard him say, "I'm sorry Ha Na."

You tried your best to hold back your tears. You loved him so much, but that doesn't mean that you would give in easily.

You touched his hand to let go from his hug, but he hugged you even tighter.

 

"It is the only thing that makes us feel alive."

"Donghae please.", your tears escaped from your eyes. Donghae buried his face at the crook of your neck. And you felt tears escaped from his eyes.

You cried harder, you love him still. But you said, "Donghae, you know you're making it harder for both us."

He loosened his hold on you. You turned to face him.

"I'm sorry.", he said. And a tear escaped from his eyes, you felt your heart softened.

And with that, you tried your best to forgive him. You gave him his last chance.

 

My LAST chance. I knew what I had to do. I must show her how much I love her.

Make her feel the most special person in the world.

It was time for me to fix everything.

 

"We keep this love in a photograph,

We make these memories for ourselves."

You woke up. You smiled as you saw a boquet of roses at the side of your bed.

You heard footsteps. You turned to your right and you saw Donghae bringing you breakfast.

 

I wanted to prove to her that I love her so MUCH.

And so, I did my best.

And with Donghae's camera, both of you took photos to remember that perfect moment.

You realized that all the pictures taken was just your face. You took the camera from his hands and you took one photo of Donghae.

It was a momentous bliss.

"Where our eyes are never closing, Hearts are never broken."

 

 

"Ha Na.",Donghae said. You hummed as a reply. Then he spoke, "About what I did, I'm sorry."

You felt your heart softened once again. You touched his face and you told him, "Look Donghae, all you need is someone who understands you."

 

I'm the luckiest man on earth to have a girlfriend like her.

You felt Donghae touch your hand. He cupped your face with his other hand. And he captivated your lips with his.

And at that moment, you wanted the time to stop. It's just you and Donghae.

"And time's forever frozen still."

 

But sometimes, happiness has an end.

You were waiting for Donghae to arrive. Both of you were going out on a date.

You felt hungry so you decided to buy some corndog from the other side of the road.

 

And I saw her. She was crossing the road. I tried to call her but she didn't see me.

I smiled as I approached her. But the stop light went green, and a random car was about to hit her. And time stopped.

 

You felt someone push you from the side. Everything went black for a second.

When you opened your eyes, you saw blood.

You felt your heart shattered into pieces. It was Donghae.

 

I saved her. I wanted to prove to her that I love her so much.

That I am willing to die for her. I love her.

You went inside your apartment. You hugged your pillow as tears streamed down your face.

You woke up with swollen eyes. You looked through your drawer, and you saw Donghae's photo album.

You covered your mouth as you cried. The album was full of your photos.

But you cried harder when you saw one photo of Donghae. You took it.

"So you can keep me, inside the pocket of your ripped jeans.

Holdin' me closer, Till our eyes meet.

You won't ever be alone.

I wanted to hug her. I saw her crying as she holds the photo tightly.

I wanted to tell her that she will never be alone.

 

"Loving can heal, Loving can mend your soul."

And is the only thing I know, That I know"

I saw her. Still in pain. I saved her because I wanted to prove to her that I love her.

I didn't want to hurt her, but I guess I did the wrong thing again. I made her cry harder this time.

And this time, I can feel her pain.

You looked outside the window remembering what you and Donghae had.

"I swear it will get easier, Remember that,

With every piece of you."

You didn't know what to do anymore. You looked at Donghae's photo.

And you said, "They said that it'll get better but it's getting harder everyday."

You hugged the photo onto your chest as you cried.

I wanted to tell her that everything will be alright.

I wanted to tell her that I'm just right here for her. I wanted to kiss her, to hold her.

 

"Inside these pages you just hold me, And I won't ever let you go."

You looked at the photo album again. But this time, you weren't crying that hard anymore.

You were close in moving on.

I can tell that she's slowly getting over me. And it was hard for me to admit it.

It was true that I wanted her to be happy, I wanted her to move on.

But I still loved her, and seeing her forgetting me makes me want to break down and cry.

"You can fit me, inside the necklace you got when you were 16,

Next to your heartbeat where I should be. KEEP IT DEEP WITHIN YOUR SOUL."

But I know I have to be fair. I've hurt her so many times.

And it was time to get my heart broken by her.

"And if you hurt me, Well that's okay baby, only words bleed."

You went outside to have a date with Eunhyuk. You finally moved on.

You took your locket and wore it around your neck. You opened it and looked at Donghae's photo.

"You aren't forgotten Donghae. You'll forever be in my heart. And I'm still the one who understands you the most. I love you."

 

I love you more Ha Na.

"When I'm away, I will remember how you kissed me.

Under the lampost, back on 6th street."

"Hearing you whisper through the phone."

And that's all I could do: Remember how she kissed me, and how she loved someone like me.

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