Title: Oh Sehun's Diary
Rating: PG-13 (with some NC-17 scenes)
Genre: angst, fluff, mpreg
Pairing: hunhan, slight xiuhan
 

My name is Oh Luhan. I used to have a boyfriend, the sweetest and the cutest one could ask for. Time passed by, things changed and I got a stepbrother. The sweetest and the cutest brother one could have.


I thought things wouldn't get that messed up and everything would be okay to us because we still had each other. I thought we were still happy; our smiles and laughters were still there. That was until I made a stupid decision that I've always regretted even until now. I left him without even realizing that I was literally leaving him. That was the greatest mistake in my life.


It was five years ago. After so long, a voice in my head led me back to his room. I found many things that reminded me of our happy life in the past, things that forced me to cry again for like the thousandth time. But upon all those nostalgic stuff, there was one precious thing that I found that day, one thing that always crushes me yet gives me strength too. I've always kept in my drawer since then, up until this day.


It was a book with black leather cover. On the first page he wrote, "Oh Sehun's Diary. A manly diary. Top secret, do not open!" But of course I opened it, which I will never regret, because it has changed my life since then.


That was the day I truly realized my whole mistake; that was the day when my eyes finally opened wide. That was the day when I decided to stop wallowing in the mud of guilt and rise up, and that was the day when I vowed to myself that I would do anything to fix all the damages I had caused to his heart. It wasn't about punishing myself anymore, it was about acting my love out.


All along people who saw my attempts might think I was nuts for struggling so much for one man like him, but they just didn't understand.


I love him, I've always loved him; I wish he knew.

 

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Dear Diary,


Today is Dad's wedding day. I don't know if I'm sad or happy right now. The second he kissed Lulu hyung's mom, that was when I broke up with hyung. I almost cried, but Lulu hyung smiled and clapped for our parents. I knew he was sad too, this morning we cried together, but he kept on telling me that we'd be fine. He has a really strong heart, I envy him a lot for that! I know, I know, he's four years older than me and he always tries his best not to cry in front of me because he's manly, but this time it's different and for goodness' sake we're losing our two year relationship! I think it's okay if he wants to cry a little bit more, before he turns twenty two in the next four days. Speaking of his birthday, I didn’t know what I should get for him, but then I got a brilliant idea! We exchanged our gifts today and he cried when he saw his present. For my present, he got me an expensive member card from this one bubble tea shop we always go to every weekends, and now I'm able to get free bubble tea as much as I want for a year! Woohoo! Isn't he a lovely hyung? Yes, I love him so much it hurts.


I swear he’ll still like the present from me better than the one he’ll get from Minseok hyung! Hmph, I'm still pissed off because Minnie hyung hugged Lulu today. I hope he won't take Lulu away from me. Since I'm now only Lulu hyung's brother, I can't stop him from dating anyone else. I don't know if I'll be able to accept it though, I might just die seeing him with someone else. I even got jealous seeing him interact with his family member! Why am I so possessive though? I hope Luhan hyung won’t hate me for this, since I’m now only his brother. I just can’t help it.


Anyways, I think I should sleep now! Lulu hyung is sleeping on my bed now and I guess he's having a nightmare. I know he only needs me next to him and he will be fine again kekeke~ I'm so happy I can hug him every night from now on.


I'll write again tomorrow, as always, g'night~!

 

"Say my name, Sehun-ah. Say my name, say it one more time."

"S-Se... Seh...hun."