Chapter 2: Merely 3 years old instead of the real 19

[Byungmi’s POV]

The sun shone through the curtains and I woke up to the face of my still sleeping boyfriend. I smiled as I lightly traced my finger down his nose.

I then gave him a small peck on the lips and stared once more at his gorgeous face.

It was at moment like this, where I really appreciated him from deep down. It wasn’t that I don’t appreciate him usually, but it’s just that moments like this that I found myself loving him even more if it’s possible.

“Babe, what are you thinking about?”

Jaehyo Oppa’s voice snapped me out of the trance I was in and I smiled, meeting his eyes.

“Morning yeobo~” I greeted and he gave me a peck on the lips.

“Morning baby~ So, wanna tell me what you’re thinking about?” He questioned once more, not willing to let the topic pass by.

I took a deep breath and told him the truth.

“I feel like I’m only 3 years old, not the 19 I should be.” I confessed and whined a little at the frustrating thought.

Yes, I lost all my memories after the accident three years ago. I had waked up in the hospital only remembering my name and birthdate.

Nothing else.

Zero.

I have totally no ideas on what had go on in the past 16 years of my life, and right now, all the memories I have only contains those from waking up from the accident till the present.

“Baby, Baby? Look at me, I know it’s hard but aren’t you happy here with me and the other guys? Is the past really that important?” Jaehyo Oppa said in a soft tone and raised my chin up to meet his eyes.

I know what he meant. Yes, I was happy here with Block B and him but, I really want to know what had happened during the last 16 years of my life.

It’s like waking up in a different world, knowing nothing about yourself.

The hell, I don’t even remember anything about my parents!

“Oppa, you know what I mean…” I said, looking away once more from his eyes.

We have had this conversation over umpteenth times but I just couldn’t let go of my insecurities. I wanted and needed to know about my past.

Is the person I see every day in the mirror the real me?

Is the person whom Block B adores the real me?

Is the person whom Jaehyo Oppa loves the real me?

All these questions, these insecurities, everything.

I had no answers to.

My past is like a piece of paper, written and scribbled on before, but erased once and for all after that. And, now I can only fill in the paper with my present, I couldn’t rewrite my history.

“Oppa, you were the first person I saw when I woke up. Block B is now my life. But, what about my past? Who exactly am I? What are my parents like? Are they rich? Poor? Are they looking frantically for me? Do I have any siblings? What was like in the past? Am I the same as the person I am now? Oppa, I have so many questions, but there aren’t any answers to them. I’m happy here, but I want to know about my past.”

I saw Jaehyo Opppa sighed and looked at me once more in the eyes. Whenever we have this conversation, there was always something in his eyes, something I couldn’t figure out.

Was it sadness, guilt, apologies or something more?

“Byungmi, I know how you feel, but think about it. What if your past is a horrible experience, something you would want to forget? Wouldn’t you feel horrible if you really recall about it?” He posed the question and had me stumped for an answer.

I just stared blankly at him, at loss.

“Come here.” Jaehyo Oppa came over to me and held me in his arms.

I could only lie in his arms as silent tears fall on my cheeks. I hate crying and being a weakling, but not knowing anything at all is really so frustrating and hurting.

“I’m so sorry Byungmi. Forgive me.” Jaehyo Oppa whispered as he patted my head and kissed my forehead gently.

A/N: Okay, though I'm on a sort-of hiatus, I decided to update. 

Reason being, I don't want people to be mad at me. I hope this explains why Byungmi is with Jaehyo instead of CNU. 

Please don't give up on my fic and continue reading please (: 

The next update shouldn't be anytime soon though >.< Do keep supporting the fic still! :D

COMMENTS&SUBSCRIPTIONSARELOVED!~ <3