Chapter Sixteen: Depression, Comfort, and School

            (If Picture is shown, the y sixteen year old boy is Hee Chul from ZE:A. I know he isn't sixteen OR y, but i needed someone and when i looked ZE:A up, he came up.)

               The next morning, Julie scoured through her pantry, looking for anything one of them would like. She already had six cans of soup boiling while there was baby food being microwaved. The only child she had trouble with was Tao.

              He refused to eat soup or baby food and she had no idea what to give him. When she saw the ramyun, she just put it back, assuming he wouldn't eat it.

              "Omoniiii~!" He cried.  Julie jumped, shocked.

               "Ne, Taozi?" she asked, putting her hand over her heart in a dramatic way. Tao frowned from his seat, kicking the air as he through his "small" temper tantrum.

                "Food!" he cried, pointing at the pantry, or, more specifically, the ramyun. She held it up to him.  He smiled a bright, infectious smile. "Ne, ne!"

                 Julie sighed in relief, fixing it up for him as she waited for the other's food to cool down so they could eat. She then put them into bowls and set it on the babies' trays with spoons. She then ran back to the kitchen, waiting for the noodles to be finished, secretly taking some since she was hungry as well.

                  Julie could hear their laughter growing, feeling another headache come on.

                  She loved them; I am sure about that.

                  Yet, she couldn't help the anger that boiled in her when they did the smallest things that she would usually be okay with. She figured her mood swings were from stress, grief that she, technically, had no one left besides the boys, and that she was SUPER close to her period. It had to be those. Then, Tomo's face popped in her mind. Her roommate of six months hasn't even called her once.

                  It's been at least a week! Maybe less, maybe more, the days seemed to be all combined with the babies there.

                   Soon, Julie began to feel depressed as she got Tao's bowl of ramyun ready. Her mind led her to thoughts she didn't want to think about.

            No one cares about you, Julie.

               Your grandma didn't even care about you.

               You're worthless.

When the loud crash of Tao's food fell and spilled on the floor, that was when she broke down, crying.

            The only friends you had were Lee and Jillian. They only hang out with you because they felt bad that you didn’t have anyone.

            You don’t even have Lee now.

            Your face is all screwed up.

            Your eyes are too big and your mouth is crooked.

            No wonder you’re not liked in school.

            You’re ugly.

            Julie shook her head, trying to get rid of the crude words plaguing her mind. The tears ran down her face.  She wiped them furiously before just covering her face with her hands.

            No, no. I’m not worthless and I may not be the prettiest, but I am not ugly…

            “Omoni?” A small voice said as a hand was put on Julie’s hand. Julie sniffled and put down her hands down. In front of her was one of her babies, but his face was blurry. She just opened her arms and he carefully wrapped his arms around her neck. She wrapped her arms back around him and buried her face in his small shoulder. He patted her back as if he already knew how to comfort people.

            When Julie calmed down, they both unwrapped their arms so Julie could wipe her face.

            “Thank you, Ho-nnie,” she said to him, her voice hoarse. Suho just smiled, turned around, and stepped over the broken pieces of the bowl and the now-lukewarm ramyun noodles.

            Julie quickly cleaned it up before making another batch. She then brought it out to see all of the boys finished, their faces and hands dirty. Tao was the only one, but it seemed that even though he must be starving, he was quiet. All he did was stare at Julie and the bowl she had in her hands. She quickly fed him and then wiped all of the boys’ hands and faces. She then rushed them all up the stairs and to the bathroom to wash them. They sat in the bathtub, being really quiet. Julie didn’t mind, though.

            When Julie took them out, she left them to get dressed in her room so she could take a quick shower. When she was done, she opened the curtains to see the boys just sitting there: watching her grab the towel, wrapping it around herself before getting out of the tub and into her room. She changed quickly in the closet, her hair wrapped up in the towel. She put on a jacket, picked up Sehun, Tao, and Jongin, and ushered the other seven down the stairs and to the car (Chanyeol and Beakhyun were sitting on her feet). Putting them in the car seats was easy, but there was a little arguing in baby talk because Chanyeol, Kai, Sehun, and Tao wanted to sit on Julie’s lap on the way. She finally allowed Kai to sit on her lap, only to make the arguing worse as the others chimed in. The only way they stopped was when she promised them they could sit on her lap when it was their turn during the week. Shaking her hair out, she threw the towel on a cabinet in the garage before getting in the car with Kai on her lap.

            The drive to school was loud, slightly lightening Julie’s mood. When they entered the school, though, the stares were worse than the last couple of days since Julie arrived later than she usually did which meant more students were there to stare at her. She got used to it though, so it didn’t really bother her anymore. Only the whispers of what they said somewhat bothered her.

            “Omoni?” Xiumin snapped her out of her thoughts.

            The boys were walking in front of her as she carried the three maknaes with the other two still sitting on her feet. They had stopped walking, though, as they had come at a crossroads.

            “Oh. Keep going straight,” Julie answered. The school’s “Parent’s and Kid’s Day” thing seemed to be a really big hit. Many of the students who had kids – whether from babies to eighteen year olds – had brought them. Truthfully, it was kind of adorable seeing all the little ones running around and hilarious seeing all the older sixteen to eighteen year olds hitting on the college students when their parent wasn’t watching. But, it was also sad to see so many kids didn’t have a mom or dad.

            When Julie and her kids entered her classroom, half of the class was already there, cooing over the teacher’s nine-year-old daughter with pigtails and Kraig’s nine-year-old son with a baby face. His other two kids just stood next to their father, looking really bored. The sixteen year old, though, seemed to be somewhat enjoying himself as he stared down some of the girls’ shirts since he was super tall.

            What a ert, Julie thought to herself as she rolled her eyes at the adolescent. She then directed her boys to go up the stairs to the back where Julie usually sat. She pulled the two chairs next to her closer to her chair, setting her books on the chairs so her kids would be able to see over the desk. Sadly, only three could each fit on the chairs, so she grabbed extra books to set on two more chairs so the others could sit at the table as well. To keep them quiet, she gave them some crayons and coloring books she managed to stuff into her backpack.

            Though, before the bell rang for class to begin rang, she decided to tell them what to do.

            “Angels,” she began. They looked up at her from their coloring books. “Can you do something for Omoni?”

            “Ne~,” they chorused, smiles growing on their faces.

            “When class begins, you need to stay really quiet, okay? Teacher Noona up front will get angry with Omoni if you talk or laugh,” she told them. Their faces drooped. “Yah, yah; don’t be upset. It’s like a game. The ones who stay quiet during every class Omoni has wins. And, the best part is, is that in between each class, you can make as much noise as you want. And when the next class Omoni has begins, everyone is back in the game, even if they got out in the first round. It will be fun, okay?” That still didn’t seem to brighten all of them up, so Julie decided the reward tactic. “If you do this for Omoni, Omoni will get you all a big surprise that you all will absolutely love. So, are you in? Will you do this for Omoni?”

            They looked at each other before chorusing another “ne” and going back to their coloring books. Julie sighed in relief.

            However, that relief was short-lived.

**************

Apologies, my babies, on my long breaks in between most updates.

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Anyways…

                        Sarangheyo, my babies!