“No matter how pathetic or pitiful, every human is fated to have one moment in their lives in which they can change their own destiny… -Takayuki Yamaguchi”

Song inserted in this chap: You and I by Lena Park (credit to owner)

Dear Diary,

Why can love be so painful? I thought love should be happy and sweet when you found someone you really love and someone right for you. But it wasn’t true. My heart was so pain. It felt like it’s breaking off part by part, piece by piece. Why love can be so complicated when it should be simple? Why must it be separated or divided according to status and background? I hate myself being Lee Ho Jin’s son. Just because he was a famous doctor, just because he was rich and have a high level status, I have to love the person he set and planned for me. I felt so breathless whenever I come back to this house. It was a big and beautiful mansion but compared to the small tiny house that they are staying now, this house is nothing to me.

The painful truth was unbearable. Why must the truth be like this? Why the person who helped them have to be my mother? It just made me felt like… she stabbed me straight into my heart with a sharp knife and then try to cure my wound back. Should I hate my mother? She said my mother is a good person. She loved me and protects me whole heartedly. But if she really loves me that much, why didn’t she try to understand what I really want? If you really love a person that much, why do you lie to him? I don’t understand.

All the things she has done for her and So Won, was it really with her true heart, out of pity, or out of guilt? True heart, because she really loves her grandchild So Won? Pity, because Shin Hye was so helpless and pregnant at that age, she felt pity for her? Guilty, because of what happened on that night? I don’t know. I choose to avoid and hide myself from her. I dare not to find out the truth because I know my heart couldn’t take it anymore. The one question that was kept playing in my mind scares me. I’m worried that what I’m guessing was right. The night when she was drugged. Who send her the message? It was from my phone. And my phone was with my mother. Was she the one who send the message? Was she the one who send those junks to attack her? I don’t want to know. To be frank, I dare not to know.   

Love,

Min Ho

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Park Shin Hye quickly rushed home once she finished all her work in the office. Her hopeful gaze turned into disappointment when she couldn’t see his car outside her house. He didn’t come again today. It has been a week already since that night she told Min Ho about what happened to her and his mother 9 years ago. He didn’t show up anymore and he only gave a call to So Won every day, telling her he was not free. He just asked Joong Ki over to help Shin Hye with the injection. She can understand the pain he was suffering now. He felt bad and betrayed because he was kept in the dark for a long time. All the truths were like sharp knives stabbed into his heart. She let out a deep sigh before she made her way to the door.

“Eomma, you are back early again.” So Won greeted her with a sweet smile when Shin Hye came into the house.

Shin Hye smiled as she pulled So Won together with her and sits on the couch. She gently caressed her daughter’s cheek and asked carefully. “Appa didn’t come today?”

So Won shook her head with pouty lips. “He did call this afternoon. He said he is still very busy with his work in the hospital. It has been so long already since he last came here. I miss him so much.”

Shin Hye sighed as she looked at her daughter. “Appa have his own life too. We shouldn’t disturb him just because you are his daughter. He has his family, his work and his girl…” She bit her lip as she looked away. She felt a sharp pain on her chest just by thinking about it.

After a while, a knocking sound on the door shook Shin Hye off from her deep thought. She pulled away from So Won and walked towards the door.

“Hi, you are back already.” Song Joong Ki was standing outside the door with a wide smile.

Shin Hye smiled back as she moved to the side to let him come in. “You don’t have to come every day. I already know how to give So Won injection. You said it yourself that I’m doing great. I don’t want to disturb you.”

Joong Ki looked straight into her eyes. “You know I don’t mind. I love coming here every day.”

Shin Hye sighed. “Joong Ki-ah. I told you…”

“It’s a good improvement that you start calling my name now. My name became extra nice to hear when it came out from your mouth.” Joong Ki said cheekily, cutting her off. He then turned to So Won. “Hi sweetie pie. How are you today?”

“Doctor Song, I’m good.” So Won answered with a smile.

“Okay. All done.” Joong Ki said as he put the syringe on the tray after giving the injection to So Won.

Shin Hye helped So Won to adjust her sleeves. “Lie down and rest for a while.”

So Won nodded before she leaned her back against the couch. She then turned to Joong Ki. “Doctor Song, did you see appa at the hospital today? Why is he so busy lately? He didn’t come to see me for a week already.”

Joong Ki’s expression changed slightly as he took a look at Shin Hye before letting out a soft smile. “He has few big surgeries to do these few days. He has a lot of preparations to do. I guess he will come once he is free.” He said.

“Is he… okay?” Shin Hye asked, looking at Joong Ki.

He narrowed his eyes at her. “What do you mean of that? Anything happened between both of you?” He asked her back.

Shin Hye shook her head. “No. Nothing. I’m just curious why he didn’t come to see So Won.”

Joong Ki sighed. “I don’t know. He came home very late every night and went off very early the next morning. I don’t even have the chance to see him. His mother is very worried about him too.”

Shin Hye bit her lip and looked worried.  

“Don’t worry. I’m sure Chae Won will take good care of him. Today is their engagement anniversary. Both of them left the hospital early to celebrate.” Joong Ki said. He saw the disappointment expression on Shin Hye’s face that makes him felt very uneasy. “You know sooner or later, they will get married and nothing could change that. Don’t get yourself hurt again because of this.” He continued as he looked deeply into her eyes.

Shin Hye gave him a weak smile. “I know. And I’m not planning to change anything.”

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“Wah! I didn’t know that the night view in Seoul is this beautiful. You should bring me here earlier.” Moon Chae Won said with a smile as she leaned her head on Min Ho’s shoulder. Today was their second engagement anniversary. Chae Won was surprised when Min Ho came to her and wanted to have a celebration dinner with her at the top hill restaurant in Namsam Tower.

After the dinner, they were now standing at the large observation deck with fences of wire trees where couples go to put locks to declare their love for each other. There were thousands of locks along the decks railings of all different colours and shapes, attached with love messages.

Chae Won pulled away from Min Ho and turned to him with a sweet smile. She took out two loves shaped locks from her bag and showed it to him. “I know this might look childish but I heard people said putting the locks here is a way to declare our love for each other.” She said as she put one lock in Min Ho’s hand. She then looked up at him. “I’ve written our names on the locks.” She pulled Min Ho over to the railings but was stopped by Min Ho when she was about to put the lock there. She looked at him in confusion.

Min Ho looked down at the lock he was holding and took a deep breath. “We have known each other since we were kids. For me, you are a very beautiful, elegant and smart woman.” He slowly looked up at her as he held her hand into his. “Everyone told us that we are some kind of match made in heaven and was destined to be together, we are meant to be together. Our outlook, our background, our status or even our job now, we match perfectly in any and every way.”

Chae Won smiled as she took a step closer to him. “I know. No matter what happened in the past, no matter who try to come in between us, nothing can separate us because you are right. We are destined to be together. Our love is fated.”

Min Ho looked deep into her eyes and took another deep breath. His hand slowly moved up and caressed her cheek. He leaned closer to her as Chae Won closed her eyes, waiting for his lips to touch hers. But then, he stopped moving when their lips were just an inch apart. He put the lock slowly back to her hand. Chae Won opened her eyes and looked at him curiously.

“But there is one thing we weren’t matching perfectly.” Min Ho whispered as he pulled away. “Our heart.”

Chae Won’s smile slowly faded and she was looking at Min Ho with full of questions written on her face. Her heartbeat raced and felt uneasy with what Min Ho was about to say. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“We are not destined to be together. We were planned to be together. Our love is not fated. Our love was being controlled.” Min Ho said as he looked down.  “I tried. I really did. I keep telling myself I was wrong 9 years ago and I shouldn’t hurt you the way I did. You were there for me when my life was totally in a mess when we were studying in UK. I felt thankful for that. I thought…”

“It was Park Shin Hye isn’t it?” Chae Won cut him off as she pulled her hand away from his and took a step backward. “Your loves for me waver again because of her.”

Min Ho looked at her again. “I thought I can forget about her.” He continued. “I thought I will forget everything that happened between us because she chose to leave me. She left me here with broken heart and you were the one who stay by my side and mend my heart. But then… I was wrong.”

“I know I should be responsible to you but at the same time I should be responsible to her, to them too.” He continued.

“Them?” Chae Won asked as she narrowed her eyes at him.

Min Ho inhaled deeply. “The little girl u saw with Shin Hye in the hospital, she is my daughter.”

Chae Won’t eyes widened in shock as she took another step backward. “Y-Your daughter?” She asked in disbelief. “But how? She ran away and…”

“She ran away because she was pregnant with my baby.” Min Ho cut her off.

Her breathing became heavy as her eyes were red with anger. She couldn’t believe with what she just heard. She bit her lower lip very hard as she glared at Min Ho. “So what now? She came back to claim you? To tell you she has your daughter and forced you to be responsible? And you are going to leave me again because of her?”

“No. She never ever think of want to be with me at all. She came back because she has to. And everything I’m talking to you now has nothing to do with her. It’s about us. Me and you.” Min Ho walked towards her and grasped her arms. “Do you think you can accept that? Accept that I have a child with her? I don’t think so. I don’t want to lie to you. But the feeling I have for you is not the way you want it to be. I love you but I’m not in love with you. I love you as a friend, as a family. Do you think it will be fair to you if we just get married like this?”

Chae Won wiped the tears that were rolling down her cheeks. She inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself down. “Are you trying to convince me that we should cancel the engagement?”

“I’m not convincing you anything. I just want you to know how I feel and let you know the truth. I know how much pain it is for the truth to be revealed like this. I’m still trying to get used to that feeling. I’m not asking anyone of us to cancel the engagement now. I just need some time to be apart. I need time to think what I want and how I’m going to walk the road in front of me. I hope you understand.” Min Ho said with a deep sigh.

“Give you time to look for her and have more time to be with your lovely daughter?” Chae Won asked and chuckled sarcastically. She then looked into Min Ho eyes. “Okay. If you say you need time, I give you. But you better listen carefully. Lee Min Ho. I’m not going to cancel our engagement no matter what happen. Even if you don’t love me, even if I can’t have your heart, I won’t give it to her either. There will only be one Mrs Lee, and it will always be me.” Chae Won said sternly as she threw the locks on the floor before turning around and walked away.

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“Eomma, are you okay?” So Won asked as she wrapped her tiny arms around her mother’s shoulder from behind. “You miss appa?” She asked again looking at the name tag Shin Hye was holding.

Shin Hye smiled softly as she caressed So Won’s hand. “You haven’t sleep yet?”

“Eomma is avoiding my question. You miss appa, right? If not you won’t take the name tag out and looked at it for a long time. You always do that when you are not happy. Did anything happen to you and appa after I slept that night?” So Won asked.

Sh