December 10

6:12pm

 

The short girl enters her room and threw her bag on the floor. She dropped her whole body heavily on the bed and sighed heavilly. She closed her eyes and grit her teeth; clenching her right hand hard; enough to make visible red marks on her palm. Sigh. She puts her right arm on the top of her forehead. Sigh. She sighs for the fourth time again. It’s like an unending sighs of obvious sign for people having problems. She gets her phone inside her pocket and dialled his number.

♪ Sir, I'm a bit nervous 'bout being here today still not real sure what I'm going to sa─ ♪

 

The guy in v-necked shirt stood up on his bed and reached his phone on the table; answering the call. “Hello?”
“Hey... I..” The girl paused, inhaling for air as she massaged the bridge of her nose. The guy sensed that there is something troubling the girl’s mind.“Taengoo what’s wrong?” Taeyeon exhales deeply.

 

 

 

 

“Jongin, I…" She gulped."I lost it..."

 

 

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

 

Entry 1 | June 27

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

I started writing you because I think I have to express my feelings more and share all my happiness to you.

 

Duhhh~ Kidding! Not really. Just got bored.

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

 

 

Entry 2 | July 18

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

I got irritated so decided to write you. Let me just curse a little. Don't worry this is minimal. ing god damn piece of bull die moron motherer!!

 

K. I'm done

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 3 | July 29

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

You ing ty loser son of Satan Jong-Jong!! Why in the hell you exist! Lunatic ! I was so embarrassed like hell! Did that person notice?

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 4 | July 30

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

Good. I'm relieved. I thought that person knew. Thank ing goodness! Kim Jongin, you I swear I'll rip you apart! Do that again and I will kill you piece of !

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 5 | July 31

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

Ha! So he didn't like being called Jong-Jong. He thinks that name . Well 'cos it really is! Anyway I have to say thanks for backing my up. What are best friends for, right? Jongin? :)

-Taeng

 

• • •

Entry 6 | August 1

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

It's that person's birthday. I sent a small pink cake and a letter. Sorry if you don't have to know my name. It's confidential 'cos I'm a shy person. Hey! I'm writing this like almost everyday! It won’t hurt if I continue writing, right?

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 7 | August 2

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Jong-Jong said that person was flabbergasted by my gift, my little cutie wootie tootie gift! I hope my codename does not creepy to her. I mean, is ‘UGH! MOFA CAN'T BREATHE’ creepy?

 

PS. pink cake FTW!

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 8 | August 3

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

Guess what!

I heard the girls gossiping at the hallway this afternoon. They were talking about that UGH! MOFA CAN'T BREATHE's gift. LOL people. Why are you speculating so much? Stop acting like Sherlock Holmes! There's no meaning behind the codename and MOFA just stands for MOther FAker(er)→ just not to make it obvious. And I didn’t mean it in a bad way, ok?

-Taeng

 

 

• • •

 

 

 

Entry 9 | August 5

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

Sometimes I envy Jong-Jong. He has many friends in that class and he just barge in anytime and talks to them. Ho-ho-ho you Kim Jongin!

 

PS. Next time I'll barge in w/ Jongin too!

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 10 | August 7

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

Tired from school. Tired tired tired. ing tired. I might grow taller so I better sleep more!

PEACE OUT!

 

PS. I don’t usually write when I’m tired.

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 11 | August 8

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

Today I'm absent because I'm sick and I even coughed blood this morning! I just went to the hospital with mom for a check-up and the doctor said I have brain tumor. I think I'm not gonna live long. I'm dying...Soon...

 

 

Haha kidding~ I’m just too tired to go to school. I’ll sleep some more.

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

 

 

Entry 12 | August 12

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

It's weird. Really, really weird. When did I start liking that person? Last year? Should I elaborate more? Nahhh~ Maybe tomorrow. I'm sleepy. My right hand is too tired to write. It's almost 'The Devil's Hour' (3am). Night!

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 13 | August 17

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

Last year was a fluttering year. The year that made me started acting weird and feeling weird. I'm weird. Yeah~~~~ Weird. Weird, for starting to develop these feelings? First time in my entire life to feel this.. This... 'ohhh I'm attracted. I like that person. Ugh chills. What’s this ing feeling!?'

Do you even get me, Dumb Damn Darn Diary? Aish~ this is weird.

 

As I remember it was our gym class collaboration with other classes. I watched that person playing volleyball. Damn! I was like having a wow--cool-ing-amazing-I'm-starting-to-have-a-crush-on-you FEELING. That cool serve, that cool spike and... ugh everything?! I just saw perfection, like, wow fantastic baby!

 

So after gym class was over I went to the shower room and I really hate seeing girls half . It makes me insecure to those tall and great body girls; on the other hand makes me feel I’m their counterpart. (Except for I'm not that fat. I just got a squishy tummy but my body figure is ok)

Then, I saw her changing clothes. The first time I got stunned by beauty and it made me gasp for more air. That time I started questioning my uality.

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 14 | August 19

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

Those ty moron girls gave me stupid glares. Like their ing glares telling me to stop sticking with Jongin? WTFH?! Girls~ are you out of your minds?! LOL! Jong-Jong is my pet, my slave, and my DFBF and I like someone else! So, you. Go to wonder ty land and dream on 'cos Jong-Jong is a freaking-wanking- who happens to like boys! Ha! Eat that! He likes boys!

 

PS. DBBF(dumb ing best friend)

-Taeng

• • •

 

Entry 15 | August 21

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

I accidentally bump her in the library. I didn't know she was there searching for Literature book that I also wanted to borrow. I said sorry but I stuttered like a freak and she smiled at me! BTW I got the book first but I let her have it instead. She squeezed my hand and thanked me! God knows I want to stab myself out of happiness. Lord! Jesus Christ! Let me feel this bliss for a couple of minutes, hours, days or for eternity! I'm so ing happy right now!!

E U P H O R I A ! ! ! Weeeeeee!

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 16 | August 22

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

Can't forget what happened yesterday. ♥

 

Lalalala~♪

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 17 | August 24

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

ing gross! Eww I wanna puke ! Last night I went to Jongin’s house. I saw Jong-Jong and Kyungsoo -ing. God~ I swear I didn't mean to see that. His mom told me just to go up stairs. So I did! She didn't mention he had a visitor, his boyfriend visitor--Do Kyungsoo, a college student from I don’t know what university.

 

Geez, they didn't even close the door! What if Mrs. Kim was the one who saw that!?

Hey! KIM JONGIN! What if your mom opened that door!? You’re screwed!

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 18 | September 2

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

K ! Someone's starting to court her.

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 19 | September 7

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

4 hours ago I saw her ordering Strawberry-Vanilla ice cream and we had an eye-to-eye contact for 2 seconds but I broke it. I don't want to be that obvious. I didn’t expect she would go to iSCREAM, my favourite ice cream store. She even dropped her hankie so I picked it up. I’ll return it when I see her at school.

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 20 | September 8

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

I was about to return her hankie but I saw her with her ing suitor. So I decided to keep this for a while and find the right timing. It's not like I'm a total freak who'll keep sniffing her hankie! Ew I'm not that desperate and obsess! you Diary!

 

PS. It smells sweet ♥

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 21 | September 9

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

Mission: Princess’ Hankie

Objective: to give back the hankie

 

[MISSION FAILED]

 

There’s still next time! Cheer up!

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 22 | September 13

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

It really is Friday the 13th. happens. First, Jong-Jong cried in front of me because they had a misunderstanding with his bf. Second, I lost my ing wallet. And third, I was supposed to give back her hankie but I tripped in front of her! I failed to return her hankie and run away like 'The Flash'. God knows how embarrassed I am! I want to stab myself right now! Ugh I’m so ing clumsy! these uncoordinated feet of mine! ! ! !!

 

PS. ! I got boo-boos from tripping.

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 23 | September 16

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

Someone put a cute blue band aide inside my locker. Oooh~ I love blue! It’s so cute I don’t wanna use it. It’s a waste if I just put it on my boo-boos. Hmm I’ll just insert it in this entry. Teehee~

-Taeng

 

 

• • •

 

Entry 24 | September 20

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

K. So she has a boyfriend now. He's from another school near ours...

 

IT !

Move on KIM ING TAEYEON!! She doesn't swing that way!

-Taeng

 

• • •

Entry 25 | September 23

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

I so wanna punch walls right now. Night!

 

PS. 3

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 26 | September 24

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

Heart/mind, if you’re still there, can you not?! Don't be an like any other teenagers. Don't be too mainstream! But to be honest, teenagers go through this phase........Right?

 

UGH!! I don’t like what I’m feeling right now. I hate it so much!

 

PISSED of what I'm feeling right now! Night!

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 27| September 25

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

Why did I become like this? Ugh~ It's just a crush right? Crush is like praising others and crushing on girls is normal, right? So am I still gay just like Jongin? : /

 

PS. Taeng stop.

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 28 | September 27

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

Yesterday I baked cookies and I don't know why. you hands!

 

I secretly and stealthily put it in her locker just like a ninja. I changed my codename – THE PERSON WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED.

 

PS. HT♥

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 29 | September 29

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

I just realized. Why did I do that again? Dear self, can you stop? You're gaying again. I wish you stop being stupid. She doesn’t even know your name TBH.

 

 

PS. I hope she liked my cookies.

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 30 | September 30

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

This is funny.

I went to Jongin's house and talked many things. He was sharing his life like WTF I just LOLed. I had to punch him after sharing those things. He told me it felt so good especially to the person you love. Hahaha I remember we giggled and smacked each other’s head as we watched together but it never crossed in our mind to try each other. Ew! NEVER! That’s like or bromance! HAHAHAHA!!

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 31 | October 3

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

I passed by the hallway and overheard them talking. It’s not like I intentionally tried to be sneaky to hear them talk. I mean, their voices are so loud and clear I can even hear them 10 meters away!

I heard they fought because of the cookie? Sigh I think it was my fault. I feel bad seeing her sad face but well~ you moron! Do you even know that girls like cookies and cute stuff?! Loser!

Wait. I'm so mean for saying that sorry.

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 32 | October 4

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

Ahhh ok. That was fast. They just broke up. I feel...Relieved..?

Hmm... Weird~

I know.. I'm weird. Why am I relieved when she is sad? I shouldn’t be happy if she and her boy friend broke up. I wanted her to be happy.

 

 

Is she even happy with her boyfriend?

-Taeng

 

 

• • •

 

Entry 33 | October 8

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

I don't know.... I just miss Dumb Jong-Jong. He’s always busy ing with his bf.

you Jongin you'll get HIV for -ing with Kyungsoo everyday! Minimize it! Make it only 3x a week! Hahaha

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 34 | October 10

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

I watched her play volleyball with students from other schools. Words can’t express how I felt when I watched her. I don’t even know if our school won I was too focused on her!

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 35 | October 11

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

I decided to bring my dumb diary with me. I got bored lately. Remember when I'm bored I write you so don't assume I like writing my feelings 'cos it's not! IT'S NOT! OK?

 

Jong-Jong's sleeping can't talk to him. He's tired from last night's activity? You know what I mean.

 

BORING BORING BORING

 

It's really boring here in the classroom especially English subject. Our hot teacher Ms. Son Yejin is so boring. Good thing she's pretty and hot and I have to look every detail of her slender body, sometimes. Sometimes! Just sometimes! Ok? I'm not that byuntae or something. Sometimes girls admire girls!

 

Why is the time so slow right now? I need food! ! I'm hungry!

 

PS. I'm not ing on Ms. Son OK!?

-Taeng

 

 

Entry 36 | October 11

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

OMG OMG OMG OMFG!! Jongin and I shared table with Tiffany! I didn't expect that to happen. It is just that there were no other seats so she asked us if she could sit with us and without finishing her words, I ing said YES! She chuckled.

She chuckled! She ING CHUCKLED! Ugh! Her chuckle echoed through my ear drums, those eye smiles she gave, sparkled! I got embarrassed for a bit but it's worth it! I can't get enough of her. I won’t forget this day! Thank you Almighty God the Father, for making this day, a wonderful day.

 

I think I'm going to die right now. Kyaaa~

 

Bye ♥ we’ll be having group activities. HT♥

-Taeng

 

Entry 37 | October 11

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

History subject, one of the most boring subjects ever! I could die out of boredom. I could have died now but thanks to what happened at the cafeteria I can tolerate its boringness. Cant forg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

• • •

 

 

Entry 38 | October 16

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

! !! ! !! ! !! ! !! ! !! ! !! ! !! ! !! ! !! ! !! ! !! ! !! ! !! ! ! !! ! !! ! !! ! !! ! !! !! ! !! ! !! ! !! ! !! ! !! ! !! ! !! ! !! ING EST MOTHER ING EVER HAPPENED!! 666!

 

Dumb Diary got confiscated by my teacher for a week! I was hoping she didn’t read all my entry. I gave her a questioning look if she did read my diary. She understood my eyes were telling her and said she did not read my entries and respect my privacy. She also told me that I won't do it in her class again and learn from my mistakes.

! Sorry I promise I won't do it again! I almost died of nervous breakdown or worse, heart attack!

 

PS. Bringing diary to school is a mothering risk. Never again!

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 39 | October 17

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

1 day left and we'll be having our 2 weeks break from school. Finally. I can over sleep and slack off for weeks! But I would really miss school especially her. I will definitely miss you. I'm kind a sad I won't be seeing you for 2 weeks.

 

Hey! HT♥ Do you know that I really, really, really like you so much?! Probably if you know about it you’ll be asking why. I won't be able to answer that. Even I, myself, am wondering all through this time. I don't really know I got fond of you all of a sudden. I think I have to read philosophy books from now on to understand that! Teehee~

 

HT♥

 

PS. I’ll minimize cursing from now on.

-Taeng

• • •

 

Entry 40 | October 18

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

I went to the park alone this afternoon. I did oversleep and just woke up at 4pm! Don't be shocked by that I really sleep a lot and thought I can grow by 1centimeter per oversleep. Obviously it's not effective so I think I have to stop this 'practice dying' habit of mine 'cos it's unhealthy.

 

BTW, Jongin is so crazy! He lied to his mom that he'll be out for 3 days for dance camp training. Pfft~ isn’t it obvious that he'll be staying at his bf's crib. Cuddling, kissing, nibbling, , and -ing! We're just 16 years old and his doing adult stuff. Wow~ that's something. They said ing makes you attach to a person. I'm praying I don't end up like that when I become semi-adult/adult.

I know, sooner or later that I'll be doing that stuff. I know some of my classmates are doing it. I don't mind. It's their life. They like it, they love it and they are enjoying it! Woohoo~ hoo!

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 41 | October 20

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

I joined a game competition yesterday. Sad to say we didn't win. It was random pick and from all heroes I got Orphelia! WTF! So we lose. Sorry guys~

 

This evening mom, dad, Jiwoong oppa, Haeyeon and I went to the restaurant to have dinner. And it was a coincidence she was there with her dad and brother(?) We glanced at each other and she smiled. I rebound her smile. OMFG I want to curl my fingers, she smiled!

Wait. She smiled FIRST.

SHE ING SMILED FIRST!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

!!!!!

Taengoo! Breathe! Breathe! Breathe! ♥

Seriously, that was unexpected! She really smiled at me! She did! So does that means she already know me by face, right!? Well obviously! HAHAHAHAHA Kyaaaa! ! HAHAHAHAHA! I'm just so happy thinking back what happened this sweet evening. It flashes back like a broken disk. ♥

 

You know I have to control these feels. They might notice my change of emotions, especially mom.

Mom is so keen. NO. Mothers are KEEN. MOTHERS KNOW BEST! It's good I laid back a bit and controlled myself. Thank God my parents were by my side. Who knows I could have banged my head on the table, on the wall, on the floor or even on the ceiling! !

 

Ooops! I cursed again. Sorry.

 

I'll dream of you tonight HT♥

 

Taengoodnight!

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 42 | October 21

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

Jong-Jong is back from ‘dance camp training’. He said he miss hanging out with me so he invited me to watch a movie and went at iSCREAM for dinner. Hey! Ice cream for dinner! Hahaha If my mom finds out about it she'll definitely kill me in no time!

 

We talk random stuff. Then he asked me about my progress and I just said there’s no progress and I’m contented with this, I think? I asked Jongin if Kyungsoo's parents were aware of their relationship. He said that Kyungsoo's parents died from an airplane crash. At first I didn't believe when he said 'airplane crash' I really thought he was joking and I even laugh. Sorry~

 

 

HT♥ when will I see you again?

-Taeng

 

 

• • •

 

Entry 43 | October 22

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

It's a sentimental day. It's raining calmly and it makes me feel like vegetables. I'm stuck here in my room, bedridden, thinking for goodness sake what might happen to future Taeng---well obviously still writing this .

 

It’s cold~

 

PS. The weather makes me want to hug you! ♥

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 44 | October 23

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

Day by day I'm getting bedridden. Seriously. It has been 2 days and the heaven won't stop peeing. I'm listening to ballad music right now. zzz

 

I'm sleepy~

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 45 | October 25

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

Last 3 days’ weather wasn’t so good 'cos it really drained my energy! But today I have to spend my day shopping with mom and Haeyeon. Yey~ Mom will buy me ice cream! Bye!

-Taeng

 

 

• • •

 

 

Entry 46 | October 27

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

1 week left and classes will resume. I get to see her again. Can't wait!

 

Taengoodnight! HT♥

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 47 | October 30

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

Today I rule the house! They'll be out for 3 days. My dad is on business trip. My mom and Haeyeon is visiting auntie Hana. Jiwoong oppa is with dad. I wonder what I should do here. How about a house party? HAHA! KIDDING! Don't like partying but I heard our classmate is throwing a house party tonight (9pm) and he even lives 3 blocks away from here. I think I could go there. I mean mom and dad won't know, right? I lack social life. I need it!

Let me think...

 

 

K.

 

So it has been decided. I'm going there and tag Jongin with me. I promise I won't drink. I PROMISE!

-Taeng

 

 

 

• • •

 

Entry 48 | November 2

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

There's too much to share! I don't even know where to start 'cos I got screwed! My life is screwed as hell! Let me curse for Lucifer's sake damn it! 666! Hell, hell, hell! Triangle! ing hell ! Bull! Satan’s ! er ing ! HUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHU!!

 

Huhuhu I screwed a lot! A LOT! It's so embarrassing. Ah no. More than embarrassing! My dignity as a human person perished. I became an animal that night! I don't know why it happened. It was so fast! I didn't mean to do that. I was drunk! I know.. I promised I won't drink but, what do you expect from a party, KIM ING TAEYEON! Of course there'll be liquors and hot girls, handsome guys and kissing and s-stuff!

 

Sometimes I feel ignorant. I feel like a kid from the countryside. How stupid!

 

 

Entry 49 | November 2

Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,

I can't sleep. Keep thinking of what I did. I mean she saw me kissing with her classmate! Her GIRL classmate! Her, BESTFRIEND, whom I don't even know her ing name but I recall a bit she has also have an American name just like T♥. I don't know what really happened. As what I recall from my fragments of memories, after couple of shots I'm already tipsy. I know I can't tolerate liquor that much...

 

TIMELINE OF FRAGMENTS OF MEMORIES:

•went to Han Ji Seuk's house party

•Jong-Jong and I got drinks

•I talked to some schoolmates

•saw T♥ with her bestfriend

•I think I got more shots

•they offered me mic to sing a rock song and I sang

•got more drinks

•got tipsy

•went to Jongin

•Jongin was busy gaying with the other guy

•got more shots

•was on my limit

•alien ing faces

•was really drunk

•barely can’t recall stuff

•asked someone who could guide me the CR

•don't know what happened next

•opened my eyes I was in a bedroom

•I was on the bed kissing someone, a girl, her bestfriend! Hell I don't know why!

 

I don't know how and why on planet Mars we kissed. She was on the top of me. My eyes were really in its bad condition! I can’t really connect what happened. I just saw a blurry image of a girl standing on the side not far away from the bed. I'm sure it's Tiffany, she was wearing pink that time, right? Ugh can’t really see clearly. So I shove her bestfriend away from me and then, I force myself to stand to go near her, and then, I out. That's the only thing I could remember!

 

I'm totally screwed! Really, really screwed! Thank you so much KIM ING TAEYEON! You're such a screwed ing kissing your crush's best friend in front of her! ING NICE!

 

Just. WOW! I feel like stabbing myself with a katana right now. I feel sorry for what happened and I feel guilty from what I did! I didn't really know what happened if I'm the one who wants to do the kissing or her best friend. I don't really know!

 

Crying won't bring back time. I'm such a ing pathetic scumbag ! Fany~ah I swear I didn't mean to do that. Liquor makes you do stuff that you didn't mean to. I know you don’t even care of what happened and you just cared that I kiss your bestfriend; and I think you feel you really have to stop us. I'm just saying that I wouldn’t do that. I won't, but I did, unintentionally. I'm sorry if I kissed your bestfriend. I don't know if I still have the guts to show my face in front of you. I care less about what your bestfriend might think of me. Well, were the one kissing and in behalf she also at fault. I think she likes it. I don’t know I like it. Maybe when I was drunk! But if I was conscious at that time, I would never take that opportunity. I only want you Tiffany. I swear I only want you and nothing more.

 

I'm sorry.

 

I promised about not drinking. I broke that promise. I feel sorry and guilty. Sorry.

-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 48 | November 2
Dear Dumb ing Diary,
I didn’t go to school today. I’m scared. I can’t face her. I CAN’T.
-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 49 | November 7
Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,
I don’t have the guts. I’m crying in misery. ME! ! I’m such a ing . I want to die right now.
-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 50 | November 11
Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,
I’m already absent for 1 week. I got sick. Not kidding nor lying. I’m telling the truth right now. I wished for sickness and it came true. I didn’t regret wishing for that it’s better if I lay low from her. It’s awkward seeing her at school. I’m still repenting for what I did.

Jongin visited me and he gave me a pudding heart. I thought it was from him! I would really be shocked if he turns sweet on me. I would really punch him if he did that. He said it was left on the top of my desk and there was a note saying, “get well soon ty♥”. Wow. At least someone still care about me. Whoever you are thank you for the pudding. How did you know I like pudding?
-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 51 | November 12
Dear Dumb Damn Diary,
Hey~ It’s the ‘Devil’s Hour’ I’m baking muffins right now. I’ll secretly give this to her later and write a sorry note. I hope she likes this. FINGERS CROSSED!
-Taeng

 

 

• • •

Entry 52| November 15
Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,
There’s this girl from other class who happens to be her classmate..Umm.. She confessed to me. She said she likes me and wants to ask me out on a date. I don’t know how to respond to her. It’s not the first time it happened. I mean there are some guys asked me out and.......girls too. I mean. Mostly girls confessed they like me because I’m cute? WTF I never did like anyone of them. Boys or girls, who confessed to me, I never did. Well, until she showed up!

Fany-ah, what did you do to me? Why am I like this to you? Did you make some incantations? Am I under your spells? I don’t understand myself. What have you done…?
-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 53 | November 20
Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,
Jongin is absent for 3days now. His mother said Jongin got high fever. Hmm… I hope he gets well soon!
-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 54 | November 21
Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,
The girl from last time texted me last night. I didn’t know how she got my number. And she even gave me food for lunch! I don’t know if I like what she’s doing but I hope she stops being clingy at school. It’s uncomfortable especially in front of Tiffany!
-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 55 | November 22
Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,
Today I successfully returned her hankie. It took me decades to return it and it already smells like corpse! HAHAHA Kidding! I washed it well! She thanked me and smiled to me and it felt like my soul was lifted in heaven! HAHAHA! We made a small conversation and it was enough for me to make me feel in bliss. Hwang Tiffany, I like you so much!
-Taeng

 

• • •

Entry 56 | November 25
Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,
It was our lunch break and I happened to pass by Tiffany and her gang. She waved at me and by the time she talks to me the girl from last time; Ms. Moment Breaker just showed up from nowhere and grabbed my arm! that girl! I missed my chance with Tiffany! We could have eaten our lunch together! Huhuhuhuhu!!

you Ms. Moment Breaker! You annoy me! Stop it!
-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 57 | November 26
Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,
God! She is at it, AGAIN! Wolverine knows I want to rip that girl’s guts! I was pretty sure Tiff was about to approach me but stopped by the time Ms. Moment Breaker jumped behind my back and grabbed my arm, AGAIN! UGH! I really want to smack her head but I can’t! I am not THAT violent towards girls. But seriously, if there was no other people at that time. I could have wrestled her like Raw versus Smackdown! I'm giving her last chance! Can’t she see that I'm not interested in her and she annoys me?! WTF!

Hey girl, are you blind?!
-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 58 | November 27
Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,
She did it AGAIN and I lost control; I was on my boiling point! I told her to stop being an because I don’t like her stuff; she cried and run off. I’m sorry if I said bitter words. But I have to!
-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 59 | November 28
Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,
Jongin is absent for 2 weeks already it made me worried so yesterday I visited him. He still got fever. He’s not recovering; his mom confined him in the hospital. They are still getting the results. I’m feeling bad things. He’s not going to die, is he?
-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 60 | December 1
Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,
Jongin is HIV positive.
-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 61 | December 4
Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,
ing classmates! Why do they have to distant themselves from Jongin!? It’s not like they will have ual or use Jongin’s spoon or something! It’s not even airborne, you morons!! you! I promise I will beat the crap out to those who ever messes my bestfriend!
-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 62 | December 10
Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,
I can’t stop crying. Thinking Jongin will die soon. Oh this world HIV doesn’t have a cure yet! And if by the time they already find the cure; Jongin is probably dead! I even blamed his bf, Kyungsoo. Knowing it wasn’t him, I feel guilty for putting the blame on him. It was the other guy whom we don’t even know. But I have a good guess it was that time; when we were in that goddamn party. God, I can’t even think properly right now.
-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 63 | December 11
Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,
I told him to minimize and use if he s others! But he didn’t and now his ing dying!
-Taeng

 

 

• • •

 

Entry 64 | December 12
Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,
We had a heart to heart talk. We’re ok now. But I can’t promise that I’ll stop crying! You’re the only bestfriend I’ve got! You’re a family to me, you ! Be strong, and then I’ll be strong too! If there’s someone who will talk mean things to you. I swear I will kick their asses and make them beg for mercy! So, you better ing smile or I’ll beat you instead!
-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 65 | December 19
Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,
Tomorrow is our last exam and then we’ll be having our Christmas break! I already bought her a gift since I can’t see her on the Christmas Eve, I’ll give it to her in advance!
-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 66 | December 20
Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,
LOL it was supposed to be our last day of exam and my mom got called by the prefect of discipline. My mom can’t believe I beat the guy’s and let him beg for mercy. I would have not done that if he didn’t act cocky towards Jongin! I already said I would defend Jongin at all cost! And the funny part when I was sparring with the guy, we were surrounded by our schoolmates telling us ‘FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!’. So I got pumped up by the cheers and beat the baboon! LOL! Never ever under estimate small people 'cos small people make you eat your own ! HAHA!

BTW, I gave Tiffany the gift…secretly! I may sound so y but it was the only chance I had! I put it in her locker when she was taking a shower in the shower room! Nobody caught me there. They were too busy doing their girl business.

 

Merry Xmas and Happy New Year! See you Next year! T♥
-Taeng

 

 

 

• • •

 

Entry 67 | December 24
Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,
I’m staying zombie mode tonight and wait for 12am. Merry Xmas!
-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 68 | January 6
Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,
I can’t believe it! Kyungsoo proposed to Jongin! He said he wants to marry Jongin before he dies! WTF!? Am I hearing it right!? And BTW, Mrs. Kim knows Jongin’s lover is a guy. I was the one who was shocked that she wasn’t shocked at all! She said she already knew they have a thing for each other.

 

What did I tell you?! MOTHERS KNOW BEST! WTF The world is crazy! I’m scared now!
-Taeng

 

• • •

 

Entry 69 | January 9
Dear Dumb Damn Darn Diary,
AHHHHHHHH! GOD! It was so close!! Good thing I went home early today and when I opened my room, my mom was cleaning my stuff and she was about to read my diary!! She wasn’t supposed to open it; I know my mom won’t touch my personal stuff. But I think it’s half my fault anyway. My diary does not look like a diary at all. It just looked like a plain notebook; maybe I’ll put marks and designs on it. For now I’ll just carry my diary with me for safety!


BTW, I’m baking a cake for T♥ I’ll sneak this in your classroom again~ Sorry if I’m being sneaky. It’s the only thing I can do for now. I don’t want you to freak out. And knowing I’m a girl..having a big crush on you! That would be shocking, right? So maybe for now let’s make it a secret that only me, Jongin and DUMB DAMN DARN DIARY knows about this!

Hwang Tiffany! I LIKE YOU SO MUCH! I hope you see my little efforts. You don’t have any idea how much I like you! I’m going crazy for you HT♥
-Taeng

 

 

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •


 

AT SCHOOL …

January 10

1:00pm

 

 

The bell had rang. lunch break was finally over. The students were rushing inside their respected classrooms; making mixed noises around the corridors. Room filled with laughter, shouting and quarreling; girls were giggling while entering the classrooms. On the other hand, boys were some banging sound on every table they see; pretending those were drum sets. These are the things what typical high school students would be doing.

 

Girls were squealing around the table; making a fuzz of something. The girl who is known to be the Pink Monster arrived a little late but just in the right time for the crazy locomotion her classmates were fussing about. “You lucky ! You got another gift from...” her classmate handed a note to the pretty girl whom should be the one reading it but didn’t read it loudly; she read it with her eyes.

 

“Hello! I hope you’re not freaked out of what I’m doing but I put my effort and feelings to this cake and hoping that you’ll like it! This is all I can do for now. I hope I will be friends with you. PINK CAKE FTW! – Expecto Patronum”

 

The latter can’t hide her happiness as she read the note. It made her heart fluff and happy. She had a little clue who it was but she wasn’t that hundred percent sure. But she was hoping she’ll catch her mysterious sender and prove it that it was that person. She sat on her chair as she watched the pink cake with cute chibi emoticons. She can’t really stop smiling. Her friends were already teasing her but she didn’t mind. She was too overwhelmed to mind them anyway.

 

 

The second bell rung ─ it was time for their first subject in the afternoon. Everyone went back to their respected seats. A minute later their teacher entered the classroom; they stood up and made a bow. She sits back and she felt something under her feet. She looked underneath her table and found a baby blue colored notebook with many cute scribbles on it. She picked it up and shove the dust away. She giggled softly forming crescent moons on her eyes, reading the title of the notebook ─

 

 

 

 

 

 

“My Dumb Damn Darn Diary”