05

Always

 

 

 

The sunlight started creeping through the windows, slowly lighting the dark room, reaching the guy who was sleeping peacefully. Slowly, the light was settling uncomfortably on his face, but it didn’t bother him. He sleeps like Snorlax. The alarm clock beeped annoyingly, he reached it with eyes closed; only relying on his sense of touch. He touched every space he could reach and finally he felt the clock, he immediately turns off the alarm. He lazily opened his eyes and yawned. It has been a week since his last attendance in class. He thought he had already missed many lessons in one week. Jongin stared at the ceiling, he zoned out. He was thinking whether he has to go to school or not.


 

He has made up his mind. He rose from his bed and went down stairs to eat his breakfast.


 

• • •


 

He opened the door and his classmates were staring at him, he felt awkward, he just continued walking to his seat. One guy approached him and slaps his back. “Jongin! Long time no see buddy! I heard you got sick.”


 

Yeah, high fever─” He lied. In fact he spent his whole week dealing his sorrow into clubbing, liquors and girls─ Girls? So does this mean he realizes his not gay after all? He’s not quite sure. His thoughts got mixed up. He can’t even understand himself. He doesn’t know what he wanted most. He has to free himself from everything, exploring all the things to be explored. He wants to find his true happiness. He wants to find his SELF─finding what’s missing in his life.


 

Well good to see you back buddy.”He tapped Jongin’s back.


 

The bell has rung; it’s time for their first period of class, all of them went back to their proper seats. Jongin looked at Taeyeon who was sitting in the first column seat on the left side near the window. He wants to talk to her; he thinks Taeyeon seems fun to talk to. He wanted to be close with her and share stuff; he’ll definitely talk to her later.


 

After their class Jongin approached Taeyeon, who was looking at the glass window. She seemed drowned by her deep thoughts that sometimes she gets lost inside her mind. Some people tells her that she looks sad and tired, she just smiled at them. But she knew she's really sad and tired. She's tired of HER. She wants to move on. She wants to stop loving HER─


 

but she CAN'T.


 

She hunches back from her seat and sighed.

Hey─“ Jongin waved at Taeyeon.

Mmm“ Taeyeon snapped out, she looks at Jongin and looks back at the window.

How are you Taeyeon, did you miss me?” Jongin asked confidently.

Nope─” Taeyeon replied nonchalantly, still looking at the glass window.

You’re such a snob Taeyeon.” He scoffed.

Don’t care. Go back to your seat.” She shooed him.

So how’s the stuff going with your bestfriend?” His question made Taeyeon looked at him directly in the eyes with both brows meeting on the middle.

Hush. Shut up. Go back to your seat or I’ll kick your ─”

Are you on your period? ─” He kept prying.

Be gone or explode in front of our classmates, you choose.” Taeyeon started clenching her hands, leaving red marks on her palm.

Did the two of you fight?” Jongin kept asking, without noticing Taeyeon is starting to get pissed. “Or you two make ou─“


 

Taeyeon got pissed; she glared at Jongin before he finishes his words she grabbed his collar to make him lean down. She whispered on his ear, ”Damn it Jongin you’re so dumb, your brain is so Pentium 1! Let’s talk things like that at the rooftop and not here! Our classmates might be gossip mongers so you better shut your mouth, !” She lets go of his collar, and it got rumpled. “Ahhhh~ I see, sorry.” Jongin grinned, as he scratches his nape and went back to his proper seat. He is so naive, he didn’t think of that way.


 

• • •


 

Tiffany watched them from the back. She was surprised of Taeyeon being unexpectedly friends with Jongin. Well in fact Taeyeon haven’t mention being friends with him. It’s not that she doesn’t want Taeyeon to socialize with others. She’s just not used of seeing her with others besides her, or maybe a few?


 

I don’t wanna be selfish, what the hell am I thinking?


 

She thought. She should be happy that Taeyeon is talking with other people, making new friends. It’s not that Taeyeon is a loner; she has few friends─but she makes sure those few friends are true to her. That’s how Taeyeon builds wall around her. No one can ever climb to it, except for Tiffany. Tiffany broke that wall hundreds of time already. She is Taeyeon’s weakness after all. Tiffany cleared her thoughts and ignored whatever she felt right now. She thought she got curious, that’s all.


 

• • •


 

Five more minutes to wait and the teacher will arrive soon. Taeyeon and Jongin decided to skip the rest of the afternoon class. They thought Literature and History is so boring, they’d die sticking their asses on their seats, listening to their pesky teachers. They bought foods and drinks in the vending machines, they’ll bring it to their usual temporary pain relieving site─the rooftop.


 

They stepped outside and sat on the bleacher. Jongin started unwrapping the Onigiri, and make his first bite. He looked at the sky.


 

Tae, nice weather don’t you think?”

Yeah, cloudy─“ Opening the chocolate cereal bar that she bought. “I know you were not sick.” Taeyeon, making her first bite. She chew her bar.

What made you say that?” Jongin gave her a questioning look.

You got hickey on you collar bone─“ Taeyeon laughs.


 

H-how did you know?” Jongin looked below, checking his collar bone but the hickey can’t be seen; the collar of his uniform is hiding it well. “Tae, how did─?” He was confused how Taeyeon found out of his hickey. Taeyeon finishes chewing her food before answering─swallowed. “Actually, I saw it when I grabbed your collars.” She took another bite.


 

Ooo─“ Jongin muttered. “Wow Tae, you’re keen.” Taeyeon flinched from hearing her name for the third time; Jongin has called her ‘Tae’. She’s not against it but she’s really not used to it except for Tiffany who keeps making nicknames for her. She thinks calling her Tae, Taengoo, Taeng, and TaeTae is only for the people who are close to her.


 

What did you call me?” She looked at him.

T-Tae?” His voice croaked.

Excuse me are we close?” She asked pryly.

Ouch?”

Really─“

Tae, Kim Taeyeon or whatever, I wanted to be friends with you. I wanted to get close to you.”

Are you serious?” Taeyeon laughs

Dead serious.” He gave her a serious look. Taeyeon clears , opening the can.


 

I was just kidding─sure why not. I’m comfortable being with you anyway.“ She drank her soft drink. “Seriously, I’m comfortable with you. If not I wouldn’t be here, would I?” Taeyeon smiled at him. “I’ll call you Jong-gay, how’s that?” She laughs.


 

Ok. H-heyy!” He whined when he heard his name with gay. “Ok then I’ll call you Gay-yeon, that’s cute!” He retorted.

What the !” Taeyeon groaned.

You started it!”

Shut up! So be it we’re both gays, but still you’re a slug.”

Huh─?”

See?! You’re so SLOW. Pentium 1!” She snorted.

Ouch, so this is what I get to be friends with you.” Jongin holds his chest, playfully acting in pain.

I’m a true friend; I only say the truth─” She pointed herself, grinning.


 

For the moment they were pulled by their sadness and sorrow. They happily goofed around, laughing like there's no more tomorrow. It's a good sign of getting along with each other well. A new friendship between Kim Taeyeon and Kim Jongin was born. At least the both of them know where to lean on when they need someone.


 

Someone who could talk to.


 

• • •


 

There was not a single spec of light seen, for darkness conquers over the cold room. The girl curled up her knees, shivering, as the thick sheet drape over her body. She couldn’t handle the coldness. She slowly stood up on her feet; half awake, she went over to the air conditioner to turn it off. With closed eyes, she switched it off and went back to her bed. Before she could hover herself with her blanket, her phone beeped. It was dawn; she wondered who could have texted her at this hour. She groaned, ignoring the text message. Two minutes later her phone beeped again. She decided to check it, touching the screen, her eyes twitched as the brightness of the light of the phone shone her face. She blink many times adjusting to the brightness of the light, her eyes were tearing. She blinked for the last time and read the messages.


 

[My Only Taetae] Goodmornight=__=)/ kukuk~ (2:02am)

[My Only Taetae] umm you awake(•___•)? (2:04am)


 

She wondered why Taeyeon was still awake at this time. She set aside her drowsiness and tapped her screen as she replies her bestfriend.


 

[Stupid Fany] ur text woke me up zZZ~ (2:07am)

[My Only Taetae] ooooh~ sorry forgive me.. go back to sleep m(- _ -)m (2:07am)

[Stupid Fany] stupid taetae itz ok~ btw y ur still awake? : / (2:10am)

[My Only Taetae] too cold need someone to warm me, the comforters aren’t enough~ (2:10am)

[Stupid Fany] u want me to HUG you? :p (2:11am)

[My Only Taetae] No. I don’t want you. (2:12am)

[Stupid Fany] Ehh? Why not??? TT^TT (2:12am)

[My Only Taetae] I want Jongin hahah (2:13am)


 

Tiffany’s eyes widened when she read the message. There were many things running on her mind between Jongin and her bestfriend, her curiosity grew. She purse and lips before replying.


 

[Stupid Fany] Do u like Jongin? (2:17am)

[My Only Taetae] ahh what if I do like him? (2:19am)

[Stupid Fany] really!? O__O)!!? (2:20am)

[My Only Taetae] Yeah~~ (2:20am)

[Stupid WiFany] Taetae are you really serious? (2:22am)

[Stupid Fany] Tae?? (2:29am)


 

Tiffany can’t believe what she has read. She set aside her phone putting it under her pillow.


 

Does Taeyeon really like Jongin? Does Taeyeon want to take it far?; I mean if she wants to be in a relationship, this will be her first time. I don’t want Taeyeon with that guy. I mean he’s not good to be Taeyeon’s…Ugh! What am I thinking? I don’t wanna be selfish and I’m not totally selfish! Wait, am I jealous?... No no no it can’t be. I’m just protecting my bestfriend, I love her so much. Ugh! What the hell Tiff you’re thinking too much go back to sleep and just ask her tomorrow.


 

Her thoughts were amazingly rowdy, piled up with questions stuck in her head. She wants to know about her bestfriend liking Jongin, her curiosity grew. She thought maybe she’ll just ask her bestfriend directly, she has to know. She decided to rest her thoughts and wait for morning.


 

• • •


 

Shingeki no Kyojin is getting really interesting don’t you think so?”

You’re watching that anime? Yeah I like Mikasa, she’s like Levi the second” Taeyeon was surprised that Jongin is watching that kind of anime.

Hell~ why wouldn’t I be watching it? It’s cool! Mikasa is so ing cool for a girl

Oh I though you just watch gay ” Taeyeon smirked as she gave Jongin a devilish look.

What?!” Jongin’s eyes widened.

Ah right, one does not simply watch but rather apply it on a daily basis.” Taeyeon said it in a low voice and laughs evilly, as she punches Jongin’s chest lightly.

Taeyeon you’re such a bully─“ Jongin was cut off when the girl behind them poked him. The conversation of the two stopped as the girl clears and excuses herself for interrupting their talk.


 

Excuse me for interrupting happy moments here, but could I borrow my beloved bestfriend for a minute?” She raised her eyebrow, folding her arms, staring at them.


 

Jongin I’ll just talk to you later” Taeyeon pat Jongin’s back, as Tiffany keenly watches her bestfriend’s action towards Jongin. She walks to the empty lobby, with heavy steps, while Taeyeon was tailing her. She stopped. She turned behind her, facing Taeyeon, as she folds her arms, and glares at her.


 

Uhh─ what am I in trouble for?─“ Taeyeon looks at Tiffany in confusion. Surely she hasn’t done anything wrong but as she looks at Tiffany’s eyes it looks like she has done such criminal act. Tiffany didn’t answer Taeyeon, she just looks at her directly in the eyes. This made Taeyeon ask again, “Tiff did I do something wrong?”


 

Nope─“

And why give me that look?”


 

Tiffany inhaled before answering. “I thought we were bestfriends, I thought we’ll share things and open up to each other?” She sighed in disbelief.


 

Huh? ─“ Taeyeon was really confused by Tiffany’s action. “What do you mean?─”

Oh Taeyeon as if I’m not blind, you’re so friendly widly doodly with Kim Jongin all of a sudden. And last night you said you like him. I asked you but you didn’t reply.” Tiffany sighed. “Do you really like, like, like him in a ‘I want him to be my lover’ context?”


 

Taeyeon laughs out loud making Tiffany get more confused. “Taetae stop fooling around, I’m serious─“ She slaps Taeyeon’s shoulder.


 

Tiff seriously? I mean seriously you think I like that guy?” She laughs again.


 

Taeyeon..” She calls her softly. “Then why didn’t you reply to my text? You sounded like you’re evading my question that time.”


 

Sorry my phone got battery empty, I forgot to charge it. And Tiff about Jongin we’re just friends─“


 

But you said you like him─“

Yeah I do like him─“

Romantically?“

HAHAHAHA! Ew no! Just a friend! Tiff stop being so funny!”

Then stop making fun of me. I’m serious and furious! You make me sound like a fool right now. Sorry if I got curious. I almost didn’t sleep when you texted me that ugh! I hate you!”


 

She looked at her actions it seems Tiffany is acting like she’s really jealous. “Tiff, are you jealous?”


 

Huh?! No I’m not!” She scoffed, raising her voice in an empty lobby.


 

Then why are you raising your voice?” Taeyeon raised her eyebrow.


 

I’m not jealous, ok?” Tiffany snorted, as Taeyeon inched herself closer to Tiffany. She cupped her face looking directly at her orbs. “Are you jealous?” She asked again but this time in a more softly manner to her bestfriend, who was cutely pouting. “Maybe a little.” Tiffany hugs her bestfriend tightly, pressing her nose to the collar of Taeyeon’s school uniform, her cheek against Taeyeon’s shoulder.


 

I didn’t know you seldom get jealous─” Taeyeon laughs gingerly.


 

Oh shut up Taetae just hug me.” Taeyeon hugged her tightly. She closed her eyed as she feels the blissful moment. She buried her nose in Tiffany’s hair, smelling the sweet scent of her hair. She knew what shampoo she used this morning. Taeyeon knew well.


 

You know Tiff, class will start soon─“


 

Five more minutes.” Tiffany’s arms came around Taeyeon’s waist, as she tightens her grip. Surely Tayeon didn’t mind staying in that blissful position. She doesn’t mind if Tiffany will extend their hugging session in ten more minutes, half hour or even forever. She just wants her in her arms forever, that’s her simple wish. But she thinks it’s too far from reality that it would happen─she knew it won’t happen.


 

It just won’t.


 


 


 


 

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Comments

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maemae08 #1
Chapter 12: I want moreee! I stayed late to finish this 😭😭
UndefinedCharacter
16 streak #2
Chapter 12: Great story! It's very touching too...
Teenagers' having that "phase", scared to talk to others about it because some may judge them.
I like Jongin and Taeyeon's friendship, they're cool, always bickering, but really care for each other.
I also like how Jongin said to just not worry about the future and enjoy the present.
They maybe having young love, but it's what they felt at that moment, they are happy. savour the moment! :)
UndefinedCharacter
16 streak #3
Chapter 11: Oh, that scene on the restroom...
She's hurting so much...
I love the angst there...🥲
UndefinedCharacter
16 streak #4
Chapter 7: I admire Taeyeon's character here for enduring all those pain being at her best friend's side just being a best friend when she's more than that.
It also takes courage to finally decide to give up.
UndefinedCharacter
16 streak #5
Chapter 6: I agree on how broken people seem to be good on advising or talking to other broken people, but can't fix their own problems. Maybe because they can understand well and knows what to do, but can't do it to their own problems because of the consequences or lack of courage ...
UndefinedCharacter
16 streak #6
Chapter 5: Taeyeon and Jongin as besties is cute! It's very nice that they can talk to each other comfortably about everything especially their heartaches.
I think during this age, emotions are strong because people mostly experience love, be it platonic or not.
UndefinedCharacter
16 streak #7
Chapter 4: Awww. She has been in love woth her that young and her feelings didn't change even after years passed...
Young love... I want to hug you TaeTae... 🫂🥺
LockLoyalist
#8
Chapter 12: Wow. Happy ending for them~ So many things happened but they always found each other.
soshi_gee #9
Dayum..what an awesome story..a sequel would be great,I've upvoted,hope that can motivate u..keep up the good work bruh
MyouiHiraiDorkytae
#10
Chapter 12: What a great story! I really like your story. Good job author-nim :)