“Are you ready, Suyeonnie?” Mirae whispers, an excited expression on her face. It is 9 o’ clock in the morning, and the two are standing outside Caffe Benne laden with mechanical pencils, spiral-ringed notebooks, and sleek iPads.

“Of course.” Suyeon smiles. “We are going to win.”

The two burst into Caffe Benne. Suyeon notes with satisfaction that nearly all the tables are filled with students working, either poring over textbooks or typing out essays. This will be easy, she thinks. “I’ll take this table, and you take that table, Mirae.” Suyeon says, turning. However, she notes with shock that her best friend is no longer standing behind her. “Mirae?!”

“Cake...,” Mirae utters, running her hand over the glass panel of the cake display as if in a trance. “Tiramisu. Coconut chocolate. Cream vanilla. Strawberry shortcake-,”

“Mirae, what the hell?” Suyeon grabs her friend by the scruff of her neck and drags her away from the counter. “Have you already forgotten how serious this is? We need to tutor approximately 25 customers each today to gain a foreseeable lead against the Sunset Tutoring-,”

“Alright, alright,” Mirae sighs, batting her hand. “I was just... looking. Okay. Let’s start now!”

The rest of Suyeon’s afternoon is a blur. She works with a 9th grader on English vocabulary, a group of 7th graders on cell biology, a 1st grader on reading comprehension (his mother thanked Suyeon profusely and offered her a discount on dry cleaning services at her store. Suyeon politely declined, but suggested an extra tip instead).

By 11 AM, her muscles are weary. By 2 PM, her head is pounding. The two forgo lunch in lieu of teaching more customers. Somewhere around 3:30 PM, Suyeon sneaks a glance at Mirae, who is explaining the proper format of an expository essay to a gang of wide-eyed middle schoolers, and sees that she looks equally worn out.

“Nice job,” Mirae pants, patting Suyeon on the back. The clock reads 4 PM. Mirae’s limbs feel like they are filled with slippery strawberry Jello. “How many customers is that?”

“34,” Suyeon responds. feels scratchier than sandpaper. She needs some warm water and honey. “We’re more than halfway to our goal of 50 customers. Let’s just... keep pushing through..,”

Suddenly, the door to Caffe Benne opens with a charming twinkle. Every single pair of eyes in the establishment rivets to the two figures standing at the door. Mirae and Suyeon’s faces contort in hatred.

“What are they doing here?” Suyeon snaps.

“Hey!” Mirae sticks out her lower lip. “This is our property!”

Jongin and Sehun do not even spare the two a glance. Instead, Jongin takes a dramatic step forward. In the blink of an eye he has struck a dashing pose.

“Words,” Jongin sighs in a bold voice, running the back of his hand down his cheek. “They dance across the page, like beautiful little ballerinas, twirling and looping to form breathtaking stories.”

Every single person in the cafe is captivated by this handsome boy’s striking entrance. Girls’ eyes widen to the size of quarters. The sound of a coffee mug clattering to the table rings through the cafe.

“What the ,” Suyeon breathes.

Jongin theatrically flicks a tear from his eyelashes. “I am in love with these words, whether they spell tales of science or prose or the very history of our nation. They lure me to them like the sun pulls the moon from its dark depths every night, eager to embrace.”

“Does he even know what he’s saying?” Mirae questions in disbelief.

Sehun steps out from behind Jongin. “I am Sehun, and this is Jongin. We are here to bring you into the wonderful world of learning, through our tutoring services,” he says in a cool voice. “Join us. But be careful,” he adds, his eyes flashing dangerously. “You might get burned.”

“Sign me up!” a girl shrieks from the corner of the cafe, and soon Sehun and Jongin are being swarmed by captivated customers, eager to hire the two. Mirae and Suyeon stand paralyzed in the midst of the mob, their mouths hanging wider than an 18-wheeler truck.

“Hey, can we cancel our tutoring session?” a boy asks Mirae sheepishly. “I kind of wanna hire them. They seem more fun.”

“Wha- hey, I’m super fun too!” Mirae protests. “I totally have Starcraft marathons, like, every weekend!”

“I see,” Suyeon murmurs, her eyes analyzing Jongin and Sehun. “Sehun’s playing the stereotypical cool bad boy, while Jongin’s acting like a romantic prince.”

For some reason, her stomach feels like it is sinking all the way down to her toes. Why didn’t she and Mirae thinks of implementing a strategy like that with their tutoring group? They could’ve maximized their profit.

As she continues watching the boys collecting heaps and heaps of money from the crowd, grinning with pleasure, Suyeon feels even worse. Was all of her and Mirae’s work today a waste? Sehun and Jongin have been here for 5 minutes, yet they have already collected as much as she and Mirae have.

It’s not fair, a soft voice at the back of her mind whimpers.

Mirae catches Jongin’s eye over the swarm of people. He drops his vomit-inducing facade and throws her an even more repulsive sneer. Mirae clenches her fists, completely flabbergasted. Can’t all these people see through their disgustingly trashy acting?

“Look, you stupid oafs,” she shouts at the Sunset Tutoring Group. “Can you not see that we’re here already? You can go anywhere else! Why’d you pick the place that we were at?”

“That’s the point,” Sehun mouths to Mirae, and the girl nearly goes red with anger.

“You two are so cheap! You saw us here, didn’t you?” Mirae turns to her best friend. “Suyeon, tell them.”

Instead, Suyeon shoves through the crowd, pushing aside screaming students. Mirae gives the boys a smug look, crossing her arms. Suyeon’s going to give it to them good.

Sehun sees Suyeon approaching him and Jongin, and smirks. Is she going to try to attack us? Oh, this should be good.

Jongin is about to throw a vituperative comment at Suyeon, but to his surprise, she bumps straight past him. Mirae’s eyes widen. “Suyeon?” she calls anxiously. “Wait up? Where are you going?” She hurries after her friend.

“Aw yeah,” Jongin chuckles, crossing his arms. “We told them.”

Sehun narrows his eyes in the slightest. Judging by the painful encounters he has had with Suyeon, she is the type of person to bicker when displeased (in the most aggravating way possible). Why did she suddenly flee the scene?

“Yo, Sehunnie,” Jongin simpers. “Are we going to start tutoring or what?”

Sehun clears his throat. “Yeah.”

A/N: So now you know another tactic Jongin and Sehun use to attract more customers... O T L 

I AM DONE WITH SMART READERS OH MY GOD