SIXTY EIGHT

Euna bolted from her seat the moment she heard the door and, in no time, she was in the entryway beaming widely at her daddy. “Appa!!! You’re here!!!” Her arms were open wide as she hopped excitedly on her bare feet.

“What are you wearing?!” Yonghwa laughed seeing his little girl in one of her mommy’s baby tees that she looked like she was wearing a dress. Euna just giggled as he dropped a kiss on her forehead then handed her a paperbag filled with flower hairclips she asked on the phone the night before. After three long days of rehearsals for the showcase, he wasn’t able to go home so his little girl was ecstatic to see him suddenly there.  Euna ripped the paper apart that all the little clips went flying in the air and got scattered on the floor but he just grinned at the kid squealing to herself as she picked them up, “Where’s Umma?”

“In the chicken!” Euna responded as she tried to catch every one of her new hair clips.

“Kitchen, Euna…” Yonghwa chuckled ruffling her hair then he disappeared by the hallway.

Just then, the door opened again and another squeak escaped when Euna saw who followed her daddy, “Samchoi!!!!!!”

While her Appa’s friends were taking off their shoes, Euna was making little hops again as she watched the. The three started fighting for her attention right away.

“My chingu, Euna!”

“Hey, princess!”

“Come here, my lovely…”

Their little lady didn’t need more time to decide as she threw herself to Jonghyun who carried her in one sweep. Minhyuk and Jungshin grumbled good-humoredly and made Euna giggle when they pretended to be crying.

But when they reached the kitchen, Yonghwa spun around holding a carrot in one hand and waved it in the air, “Ya, Jonghyun, put my daughter down!”

“What?!” Jonghyun looked at the other two but they looked as surprised as he was with their hyung’s reaction, although Seohyun was obviously hiding her chuckle as she paced in the kitchen. “What did I do?”

“Just put her down…” Yonghwa said in a much smaller voice when Seohyun passed him by and tapped his back gently.

Jonghyun shrugged but did what her father ordered and, the moment Euna's feet landed on the floor, she automatically scampered around the house unaware of the situation. It was obvious that the young man looked heartbroken especially when the two younger boys retreated in the living room ignoring him. However, he found an ally on Seohyun who gave him a small sympathetic smile so he asked softly, “What’s the matter? Did I do something wrong?”

That was when she laughed out loud, “Nothing’s the matter. Don’t mind him.” She then turned to Yonghwa with a gentle yet warning tone, “Let it go, Oppa…”

Just when the atmosphere was starting to get gloomier, Euna’s voice broke the silence when she started belting the chorus of Let It Go. The tension was surely replaced by laughter and Yonghwa finally gave his brother a bigger grin and they did let it all go.

The showcase was happening the next day and Yonghwa dragged the boys to their house for lunch since Seohyun had been asking for them lately. The whole short break was full of laughter despite the tension they were all carrying. Since the foods were not yet ready when they arrived, the boys pitched in to help Seohyun. Jungshin, however, got the royal treatment when Euna decided that her chingu samchon would, by her standards, look good as much as the next princess if she dolled him up with pretty make up and cute hairstyle that consisted of the flower hairclips her daddy just got her.

When lunch was over, Yonghwa offered to load the dishwasher as the boys remained in the dining table finishing up their ice creams with Euna. Seohyun took her seat beside her daughter and studied the boys quietly for a moment until she caught Minhyuk’s eyes. She sighed and decided to let them know how she was feeling. “Thank you for what you did,” she smiled when they gave her a questioning look, “Oppa told me everything.”

“No problem,” Jungshin nodded with a warm smile, “We are a family here…”

“I feel bad though I know music is your passion,” she knew someone was going to say that and, in her heart, Seohyun believed that they feel that way but she couldn’t help but be apologetic.

Junghyun replied matter-of-factly, “It still is, nothing has changed… only priorities.”

“Don’t worry about us,” Minhyuk added with a gentle grin, “We’re big boys.”

“Yeah…” the other two nodded in agreement.

“And I’mma big girl!” Euna raised her spoon with a big smile, her chocolate ice cream moustache decorated her face. Everybody laughed and she wondered why with a shrug then turned her attention back on her big bowl of ice cream.

~~~

Seohyun blinked awake and squinted for a moment until she finally noticed those eyes watching her. “Hmmm…” she moaned softly as she reached out for her phone on the side table to check the time. She slept for only half an hour.

“Go back to sleep,” he kissed her tenderly.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” Pulling his hand, she let it rest on her waist, “You should be. Big day tomorrow…”

“I know…” Yonghwa sighed and it made her sit up so he grumbled, “Hyun…”

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know… I thought I had things all figured out.” He winced as he sat beside her and ran his hands through his hair.

She smiled sadly knowing what he meant. Words also left her that all she could do was to rub her hand on his back. Kissing his shoulder, she urged him to face her and brushed her lips against his. “We will be okay,” Seohyun whispered on his lips and he drew in a small smile and nodded, “You will be okay.”

“As long as I have you…” he caught her chin and kissed her hard then pushed her back on the bed and repeated, “As long as I have you.”

His hand skimmed through the outline of her body until he reached the hem of her sleeping dress. Pushing it up, Seohyun pulled away only to take it completely off her body and a smile glimmered on her face. Moments ago, Yonghwa just sat there on the bed watching her sleep wondering how this beautiful person changed his life in a heartbeat. All the dreams he had and the future he had foreseen just miraculously changed when she walked in that room with her unassuming outfit despite being a supermodel and that tigress temperament.

But then again, he was finally leaving the world he had loved all those years. The hard years were slowly crawling in his memory especially the thought of his brothers. They both agreed to leave Korea for awhile to let things simmer down then they would come back and settle in one of his parents’ houses in Busan. Yonghwa had even discussed his plan to Seohyun and his bandmates of opening an independent recording studio and probably a small music academy in Busan.

His thoughts went spiraling back to reality when he heard her moan out his name. Feeling guilty for zoning out for a moment, Yonghwa kissed his way down her chest and gasped when she clawed on his back so hard he thought she might wound him. The pain and the need finally stole him away from his worries and realized that he wanted this and nothing more.

The pain and the need—as long as they were with her he would endure.

~~~

There was a mixed reaction from the abrupt decision of FNC to allow CodenameBlue to disband. Many of the fans were mad, blaming each other and throwing insults after insults but most of these enraged fans put the blame on Seohyun. It was something they have already foreseen but Yonghwa always reminded her not to look at any news items about them. Surprisingly, most of the fans didn’t want the disbandment and even held a petition for it to be cancelled.

The company’s decision was based on stock shares and other losses that they are still trying to recover from after the revelation. Most of the board members believed that the younger boys’ careers could be saved by doing individual activities now that Yonghwa decided to hand in his mic. The three didn’t really have any short term plans at the moment and they were still waiting for the decision of their agency on their status in the industry. Yonghwa invited them to join his family for their short trip to Europe but the three of them decided to stay with their own families for awhile.

The short moments inside their dressing room were bittersweet. The normal busy buzz was there but the atmosphere was still bleak—all knowing well that it might be their last chance together to be on stage in front of their fans. When one of the producers came in and reminded them of the remaining time, they formed a circle to make a silent prayer and embraced each other afterwards. Seohyun was standing with Taeyeon and Euna on the side until Yonghwa walked to them and embraced their daughter who, that day, decided to leave the house in her panda pajamas and Hello Kitty slippers.  

Seohyun gave him a sad smile when he straightened and wrapped her in his arms, “We will be here…” she whispered and he nodded as she pulled away. The pain was reflected in his eyes and she was hurting for him. For her, Yonghwa was giving up something so important to him because of them and it pained her as well. She felt her Unnie’s hand on her back leading her out of the room to watch the concert on the sidelines away from the angry eyes of their fans.

They were hesitant to be there but she thought it would be best for him so she insisted that she would keep herself and Euna away from the public’s eye the whole time. They didn’t even accept the company’s offer to give them an inconspicuous area to watch. Taeyeon, with their bodyguards, were on one side of the stage watching quietly. The first half of the showcase happened like it was another ordinary concert. The boys tried to be as lively and relaxed as possible but it was obvious that they were just holding back.

It was hard to watch them and even the fans were somewhat teary eyed singing their lively songs. Euna, too, was quiet. The little girl seemed to catch the atmosphere that she barely talked and just take little sips from her pink water bottle. She would clap and sing along and look at her mommy with a smile once in awhile but that was all she did.

The last set had begun. After a very emotional rendition of their latest song, the boys gathered in front of the stage leaving their instruments on the sides. Each started addressing the crowd and tears started to flow freely now. Seohyun sniffed listening to the brothers he gained all these years whom she has known too and learned to love like her own. When it was Yonghwa’s turn to speak, Taeyeon handed her a box of tissue and she took a few sheets to wipe her tears.

“Thank you. As