FIFTY TWO

That morning she was already feeling sluggish and the very first thing she did was to cancel her appointment with her co-contributor in the fashion magazine and just decided to give her the drafts she had been working on for the past weeks. Seohyun had another emotional episode the night before when Yonghwa called her three days after he left. Melancholy rushed over her when they were talking and she just broke down crying. He laughed for awhile but when she cried louder he regretfully consoled her with soft and sweet words.

And she missed him some more so she cried some more.

It was then that her baby started sliding around her belly that made her laugh softly and put the phone on speaker. When she told him about it, he cooed and spoke to their little one. Seohyun fell asleep while holding her phone to her belly and listening to his soothing voice.

Seohyun sighed as she sauntered the living room listlessly when the doorbell rang. She had forgotten to check who it was and just unlocked the door. The moment she opened, the rest of her sleepiness and grogginess just slipped out of her system seeing that familiar haughty face.

She felt her stomach coiled.

“Hello, may I come in?”

Yonghwa’s mother said graciously with a tiny smile that was not at all genuine. She nodded absentmindedly while moving to the side and muttering, “O-of course…”

She watched the older woman’s back as she walked through the hallway with the same air of arrogance the first time she went there. Seohyun knew then that she was there for blood.  When they stepped into the living room, Mrs. Jung turned to her. And if her mere presence was not enough to provide Seohyun with an overwhelming sense of discomfort, she started looking at her with scrutiny as her eyes roamed around her body. Seohyun prayed she won’t notice her bulging stomach beneath Yonghwa’s dress shirt.

Mrs. Jung scoffed; Seohyun restlessly stretched her arm ahead trying to keep herself calm. “Please have a seat,” but her offer was deliberately ignored, instead she was given that cold empty stare.

“I don’t intend to keep this meeting long.” The woman walked towards the window and stood there for only a short while then turned to her, “I guess I didn’t make myself clear the last time so I came to talk to you…”

She didn’t need to deal with this but she knew it was a chance to show her that she can no longer push her around. Seohyun took a deep breath and retorted calmly, “If you want to know if I got back together with your son, then yes…”

The shock on her face was evident. Seohyun watched her as her jaws clenched and spat back, “Hasn’t it occurred to you that I will never approve of it?”

“Yes, you made that clear actually…” Seohyun replied simply. She was done with all the theatrics so she fired rather softly, “But I’m no longer asking for your approval.”

“How dare you!” She took a step forward only to stop when Seohyun took two, “How dare you talk to me like that?!”

Her hands fisted on her sides. Seohyun swallowed the lump in . Her adoptive mother never raised her to be disrespectful but she did raise her to be her own hero. She took another step and Yonghwa’s mother remained still but her eyes snapped sharply at her, “If you don’t like me, then leave me alone! If you can’t leave me alone then live with the fact that I exist in your son’s life because I’m staying and there’s no way I’m leaving him again!”

The woman sneered. The ugly sound rang around her. The walls seemed to close in on her as the tiny unexplainable pain was starting to prick around her pelvis. Her head started to spin. Seohyun held on to the wall on her side as if to stop it from moving towards her. Then her stomach felt so hard and heavy it was making it hard for her to breathe. The woman laughed again but she barely registered it.

Baby… my baby…

Seohyun repeated to herself, her tears salty on her lips. She was doing this for her baby. Standing up for her little child. She swallowed the lump in and clutched her stomach protectively. Yonghwa’s mother turned to her while she was anchoring herself on the wall.

For a moment, she watched her with concern and rushed to her side, “Omo! What happened?” It was then the woman noticed the arm that she held to shield her baby with. Anger flashed in her eyes again, “Are you…? Oh my god, you little—”

“Little what?” Seohyun heaved but she cried back, “? ? Like my mother? I am never like that woman! I will never be like her.”

The pain gripped her harder. She bit the need to cry out loud and winced instead. She couldn’t let this happen. She should stop this confrontation before it affects her baby. She opened her eyes and let her tears flow as she pleaded, “I-I’m sorry… leave, please just leave me alone… I will not get in your way, just—just leave now…”

The older woman’s eyes were focused on her lower region. Seohyun’s heart thumped louder.

My baby… my baby…

“Y- You’re bleeding…”

“Oh my god…” the words slipped out of as her hand travelled down. Why did she just notice the tingling feeling between her legs? The soft flow of liquid made her flinch. Only then her fingers touched them that she almost stopped breathing.

Bleeding.

She was bleeding. 

My baby… my baby…

Her arm lifted slowly and she gasped when she confirmed it.

Blood. There was blood on the tips of her fingers. Seohyun trembled in horror.

“Ph-phone… please…” Seohyun no longer cared how this woman felt about her. All she could think of was her little one. Another soft whisper escaped , “B-baby… my baby…”

The thought of it, the mere thought of it.

She winced in pain— both physical and emotional. Her surroundings turned hazy. That split second she couldn’t understand what was happening.

Blood.

Blood was flowing out of her.

She tried to breathe. Her vision doubled. Her body turned into feather in the wind.

And everything went pitch black.

~~~

Seohyun had this haunting memory when she was a little girl. She had this baby doll that one of her mother’s boyfriends gave her. She loved it so much that she would even carry it around inside her school bag. It was like her secret and silent friend that she would embrace when she was really very sad and talk to when no one was around.

It survived longer than her other toys but the years and her apparent attachment to it had left it battered and grubby. Time came that her mother noticed how filthy it looked and decided that it was time to go. It was the first realest pain she experienced in her young life. She cried—oh how she cried when her mother snatched it away and warned her that if she didn’t stop crying she’d boil the poor doll and let her eat it f