THIRTY EIGHT

A frown settled on her face after reading his note wishing her a happy birthday and informing that he could not make it to celebrate with her. Weeks have passed after he brought her back to her apartment after their trip to Busan. Seohyun could still remember the moment they stepped inside her apartment and she could almost feel his warmth all over her like it was engraved in her body. That whole day they just spent locked inside her bedroom taking only short breaks to eat and do other mundane things until the next day dawned that they felt the exhaustion of what would have been an ordinary nocturnal activity for them.

And these days work was her only reprieve from feeling melancholic that it was his turn to be out of the country for their concert tours. Yonghwa celebrated his birthday days ago and she really wanted to do something special for him. It would have been a special chance for her to surprise him the way he had been surprising her but her crazy schedule wouldn’t permit her to fly to where he was.

Despite the huge bouquet of roses and that unopened box that came from him along with the note, she still could not hide the sweet yearning to be with him. It would have been their first birthdays to celebrate together. Seohyun sighed pulling the box closer and untying the blue ribbons. What she found inside made her smile; after all, it was quite a big box for a single DVD.

It took a moment to finally decide to play it for she knew the floodgates would automatically open once she did. And she couldn’t be wrong. She smiled as she watched herself on the flat screen TV mounted on the wall. The video was the behind-the-scene of their L’Ore photoshoots and the song on the background she recognized as Safe Place, the one he wrote for her. She shook her head figuring out how he managed to get those clips and pictures that were not even released. And then he was there by the corner while she was having her pictorial. Seohyun couldn’t help but smile at the intensity of his stare. If she guessed it right, the clips were taken from their second shoot.

She laughed when it was his individual shot and Photographer Han was barking orders at him but he was looking at one side of the room. By closer inspection, Yonghwa was stealing glances of her while she was getting her hair fixed. Seohyun sighed, all those times he could never seem to take his eyes off her—probably until now? The next clips were taken somewhere when they were starting to see each other secretly. She noticed her smile, the glow on her face—she looked different from the initial shoots. And Seohyun knew what changed her—who changed her.

And he was there with his arms wrapped around her waist whispering silly nonsense by her ears as she laughed and the shutters clicked. She cringed watching them being so happy and unaware of the world. Even a fool could tell what was going on between them. She knew that some of the staff were hyperaware of what was going on between them. But Seohyun knew too that their little secret is safe with them.

Besides, that was how everything works in the industry.

How could she outdo this? She laughed thinking that she really has to imagine the biggest surprise for him after this. It was all that came in her mind when suddenly the song ended but the video just shifted to a clip by what she could only guess a handheld camera or a phone capturing a live performance. Seohyun giggled when she recognized the other blue boys singing Happy Birthday to Yonghwa who was in the center of a stage of what appeared to be a private room in a restaurant. He was grinning so wide hugging his guitar as the song ended and he blew the candles from the pink cake Minhyuk and Jungshin were holding. The audio was not very clear so she couldn’t really understand what they were saying especially his short speech. The small crowd hollered and hooted afterwards and she heard the one capturing the moment shushing everyone.

Suddenly, Yonghwa was left alone in the little stage and started tinkering on his guitar. He said something about a song he wanted to sing so much to someone on that day but it was a shame she couldn’t make it. Another cheering matched with booing came and he put his finger on his lips and when his small audience was quiet enough, he started his song.

Seohyun began to quiver, the beating in her chest got louder and the dew that were threatening to fall finally gave way and she cried listening to him. He was singing an acoustic version of Carpenters’ A Song For You and every word seemed to crawl inside her heart to prick her a little bit more reminding her that there was no way she could make him feel how much she loves him that very moment.

And she laughed as the song ended since she was sobbing and sniffing and calling herself crazy for being melodramatic.

And the fault was his.

~~~

Uneventful days went on and Seohyun got into the routine of her every day activity. Most of the time, it was as if she was back in her old self pre-Yonghwa except for scheduled video calls, late night check-ins and random exchanges of messages. It worked out well for both of them although it would have been better if was back in Korea especially on days that she got time for herself.

However, it would have been another one of those days if not for a surprising visitor sitting across her on her dining table.

Seohyun stared at the older woman still obviously puzzled for the sudden call. Yonghwa's mother may have looked younger and gracious the last time she met her but this time she looked nothing but disdainful. She gulped back the ominous feeling looming suddenly in the air.

After a few minutes of silent observation around her private space, the older woman’s lips that were pressed in a tight thin smile finally moved as she pushed away the cup of tea Seohyun presented before her, “Actually, I came here to talk to you about Yonghwa.”