The ride home is unusually tense and quiet on the CEO’s side, and no matter how hard the idol tries to start up a conversation, he would either be ignored or receive short phrases. Jongin’s eyebrows furrows in confusion, and his heart slightly aches at the obvious fact that Kyungsoo doesn’t want to talk to him at the moment. Sighing softly against his parted lips, the idol focuses his vision on the road ahead and makes a right turn, going completely off course from their way home.

Something’s off, Jongin thinks to himself when he realizes that the attentive CEO doesn’t even bat a single eyelid at the unexpected turn. He then reminisces back to when they were in front of Kyungsoo’s office, vividly drawing out the male’s vulnerable gaze and crystal teardrops with a dull ache in his heart. Unknowingly, his grip on the steering wheel begins to tighten, the tip of his nails digging into the leather material.

What made Kyungsoo cry? 

Was he the one to be blamed for?

Jongin can’t help but to subconsciously put the blame on himself, despite not even knowing what the cause for the CEO’s tears were. His bites his inner cheek gently, eyes shifting from left-to-right as he exits the highway safely. When he reaches a red light, Jongin stops the car and uses up all of the seconds he gets to gaze at Kyungsoo’s side profile that’s accompanied by the street lights from outside. He observes how the colors reflect on the CEO’s pale skin, as if they were alive and dancing to some unheard song. The idol doesn’t even realize that the red light has turned green until the car behind honks in annoyance.

Putting up a hand as a form of apology to the driver behind him, the idol immediately drives down the lane with his mind set on a destination other than their home.

Waking from his daze, Kyungsoo flutters his eyelids and finally acknowledges the outside world around him. He squint his eyes and looks into the far distant through the windshield before raising a baffled eyebrow at the driver’s direction. “Jongin, this isn’t the way home.” His voice is still soft, perhaps barely audible if said male hadn’t been so focused on him from the start.

“I know,” Jongin answers confidently, his eyes still on the road.

“What are you up to now?”

“You’ll see,” the idol turns his head and flashes a reassuring grin.

Kyungsoo’s heart defies against his will and does a little flip, its heartbeat fast and energetic despite its owner hardly having the energy to think properly. “Stupid, take me home immediately.”

Unlike the Jongin from before who was frightened by CEO Do’s vain aura, this Jongin who has fallen so deeply for Do Kyungsoo is beginning to spread his once hidden wings and become even more confidence with his overall actions. “No,” the idol grins.

Kyungsoo’s frown deepens, “Jongin…”

“Don’t you trust me?”

Somewhere deep within his memories, something triggers.

“Junmyeon, where are you taking me?” a young Kyungsoo questions, eyes still red from holding back his tears. The owner’s hand that wraps warmly around his only smiles as he continues to lead the way to somewhere unknown. This makes Kyungsoo confused and curious, “Junmyeon?”

“It’s a surprise. Don’t you trust me?”

The CEO’s hands start to tremble at the unwanted memory, and he instantly forms his hands into two tight fists to control his own conflicted emotions. Not wanting the idol to notice his sudden change of actions, CEO Do turns his gaze to the window and quietly inhales deep breaths of air.

In his head, the scene is still so, so vivid and scarily detailed.

He can feel the moisture in the air, hear the distant sound of seagulls, and see the slight fog that hangs low against the damp, green grass. The way Junmyeon’s hand holds onto his, Kyungsoo remembers it clearly. He feels the ghostly touches of teenager Junmyeon’s hand, hears the mysterious tone of his voice, but if only Kyungsoo had known better then, he would’ve never followed Junmyeon that day.

It was his fault, his ing fault that Junmyeon is like this now…

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo loudly says the idol’s name, maybe a bit too loud.

“Is something wrong?”

“I – I…” the CEO turns his attention to the male, but his words are caught in his throat and thoughts ceasing to continue. With slightly parted lips, Kyungsoo’s gaze falls into uncertainty and he slowly shakes his head. “I – never mind.” He then sinks back into his seat and closes his eyes with a stressful sigh.

Why did he call for Jongin?

What frightens him the most is that just upon calling the familiar name, his painful past becomes a mere image in his mind before fading away.

Kim Jongin, he realizes, Kim Jongin brings him comfort and certainty.

This man – no, this stupid man that has such a childish personality, miraculously paints soothing colors back into his dull life, makes him feel as if he has the whole world in the palms of his hands, and brings so much feeling of warmth to his frozen heart that its shield is already thawing and cracking. Sooner or later, maybe Kyungsoo will be the one cracking from his long built walls of protection; he’ll become so vulnerable, and the only person who can piece him back together is…Kim Jongin.

But Kyungsoo’s scared – afraid that before he breaks, he will be the one to break Jongin first.

This single thought haunts him badly.

He’s in love with the person that’s by his side.

He loves the person who he never wanted to lay eyes on.

Do Kyungsoo loves Kim Jongin.

And although it’s hard to admit, Kyungsoo loves Jongin very deeply.

This love seems almost impossible, but even in the darkest time a flower will bloom beautifully if it’s able to find the resources that it needs. Kyungsoo, in all of these years that of shutting others out, has found himself a Kim Jongin who’s willing to give his all just for him. And because of this, this unlikely love has already bloomed.

“We’re here!” Jongin’s enthusiastic tone brings him out of his deep thoughts.

Kyungsoo furrows his eyebrows and gazes out the window, “A park?”

“Not just any park; it’s close to an ice-cream stand.” The idol says joyfully as he turns the engines off and gets out of the car, sighing in content as he’s finally able to breathe some fresh air. However, when he notices that the CEO is still inside, he frowns and looks through the glass window. “Come out!”

“What are you, a child?”

Jongin laughs and nods his head, “Perhaps.”

Rolling his eyes, Kyungsoo also gets out from the car and crosses his arms as he expects an explanation from the idol. “I don’t have all night for this, Kim Jongin. Explain this right now and let’s go back. Unlike you, I have work to finish before midnight.”

“Forget about that.”

“Excuse me?”

“I don’t know what’s bothering you, but I’m willing to solve it and make you happy.”

If Jongin had said this back then, Kyungsoo would’ve scoffed and walked away.

But now and then are different times.

Now, Kyungsoo feels his heart splitting in half, he feels it bleeding and crying for help. Jongin makes him feel so many emotions at once – love, helplessness, lost, afraid. There are no set boundaries for anything that the idol does now. Like a child that’s lost in this confusing world, Kyungsoo cannot search for a definite answer. However, all he knows is that Jongin is always there for him but he’s almost never there for Jongin.

Stupid, it’s you.

Kyungsoo wants to tell him.

It’s you tha