PART 2

His bed was half empty, not half full.

And this fact bothered him the most. It had been almost a month since Sehun had been gone and upon arriving his destination, he had called Baekhyun – at four in the morning – excitedly describing the wonderful place that is London. Of course Baekhyun had been equally excited, wide awake and working on his new fragrance, listening intently to every word Sehun was saying until he remembered that he wasn’t there beside the boy he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He knows that it was childish to feel that way, because Sehun will only be gone for three years to study and then he’ll be back, but Baekhyun couldn’t help feeling that he’d lost Sehun forever. He’d spent every night staring up at his ceiling for when he couldn’t continue his project.

Sehun’s new semester began a week ago and again he’d called, like he does every day, to tell Baekhyun that his days will be busy but he promised to make time so they could talk over Skype. As if being far wasn’t enough, now they could only speak with each other for less than two hours per day. Baekhyun understands that his night is Sehun’s day and Sehun being Sehun wouldn’t call when Baekhyun is supposed to be fast asleep. So when he does call, it would most probably be three in the morning in London and afternoon in Seoul.

His lonely days were spent baking the same old thing, unable to think up any new recipes for his sister’s bakery shop. At times he opted to helping her out at the shop for when he couldn’t find anything else to do at home. He came almost too often that when he decided he was just wasting his time and almost completely never turn up again, his sister offered him a place in her shop, where he’ll actually get paid. It was, after all, always a better choice than staying at home missing the boy thousands of miles away. The pay wasn’t much, but he could survive on his own.

It was into the second month of nights spent alone and watching movies in an empty house when something struck Baekhyun like a lightning flash. Sitting up too quickly after having spent the last hour slouched on the sofa, Baekhyun ignores the pain that throbbed in his head as he got onto his feet and almost rushed into the room where his work table is. He managed to overlook the empty bed, but the disappointment of not finding Sehun on it still sunk on him. Baekhyun was quick at getting over it as he grabbed a pencil and a piece of paper that was always ready on the table, scribbling down the ingredients that came to his mind.

Vanilla, sandalwood, olive oil and just a drop of eucalyptus, he decided, described Sehun the most. Adding on more ingredients necessary to make it possible, Baekhyun soon finished jotting down everything that he needed, quickly starting on what he already has.

One hour soon became three and in the morning he found himself still seated at his work table, eyes swollen and head aching. He didn’t realize what time exactly he had fallen asleep last night in the midst of his new invention; the sudden flow of his tears must have taken away his memory of laying his head down on the table and falling asleep there. In his dream, he met Sehun and in his dream he wasn’t the lonely soul that he is every morning he wakes up.

The memory of Sehun triggered his emotions again, flopping himself onto the half empty bed and didn’t get out of it until night came.

Sehun didn’t call.

Baekhyun breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing that the herbal store where he gets most of his ingredients from is open. His legs moved quickly across the road and into the shop, his entrance ringing a bell. The owner of the shop is an elderly woman at her sixties, never failing to shoot Baekhyun a smile, having recognized him as one of her rare regular customers. Baekhyun couldn’t find any other shops as resourceful as the one he was in at the moment and even though it is a half an hour bus ride from his apartment, he didn’t mind spending the time travelling.

He was looking through bottles of eucalyptus when his phone buzzed in his pocket, startling him from admiring the ingredients presented before him. Fishing his cell out of his jeans pocket, he almost squealed when he saw that it was Sehun’s London number and didn’t think twice answering the call. The past two days was Sehun-less and he was surprised he could still breathe, although barely.

“Baekhyun?” Sehun’s voice strung out from the phone speaker, soft and familiar and just Sehun. He almost cried because he had missed hearing that voice so much.

“Sehunnie, you didn’t call last two nights.” The words that spilled through his lips weren’t what came into his mind. He hadn’t wanted to sound upset, yet what came out was the sound of a broken voice, slightly angry but just mostly sad. He tries to regain his breathing, hoping Sehun wouldn’t feel too guilty.

A soft sigh came from the other end of the line and Baekhyun could almost see Sehun chewing on his bottom lip. “I’m sorry, Baek. I got stuck somewhere with no signal. It was impossible to reach anyone. I hope you’re not mad at me.”

Upon hearing that Sehun had been in some sort of danger erases all of Baekhyun’s sadness away, replaced instead with worry. His eyes were blown wide as he clutched his phone closer to his ear. “Oh my God, Sehun. Are you okay? What happened? Did you get hurt or something?”

Sehun chuckled. “I’m fine, Baek. I just got lost and found my way back. Can you believe I missed two days of classes because of this?” Sehun said it in a joking manner, but Baekhyun’s worry for Sehun’s safety only escalated.

“Where the hell is Tao anyway?”

“Babe, it’s not his fault. I told him I needed to get some fresh air. I was missing you so bad.” Sehun’s voice grew softer, almost sad, at the last sentence and it had Baekhyun gasping for air again because , the weight grew heavier on his chest.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, willing himself not to cry in public like this. “You have to be careful, Sehun. I’m worried about you.”

The chuckle that leaves Sehun’s lips was humorless. “I will be. For you, remember? I promised I’ll come back home. But if anything were to happen to me, I already told Tao to tell you straight away. I’m sorry if I couldn’t make it home.”

If there is anything that Baekhyun hates, it’s the way Sehun said it all. As if he wasn’t coming back like he’d promised. “You know what, Sehun? Don’t call me again until you realize that it’s not funny when you say all those things. You’re coming home to me, okay?! Because you promised me you will and I’m holding on to it.”

It was impossible to keep the tears on hold anymore at that moment, and he didn’t care that people were starting to give him weird glances for raising his voice into the phone. Sehun didn’t hang up and neither did he. They were both quiet for the longest one minute in Baekhyun’s life. He almost didn’t hear Sehun’s voice when he spoke again, softer than it usually was.

“I miss you, Baek.”

He should have said it back, but Baekhyun was angry at Sehun, at the world, at himself for no particular reason and so instead of saying it back he only ended the call. It took him five seconds to slip his phone back into his pocket and another five minutes to calm his breathing, bracing himself against the shelve full of bottles of ingredients he had intended to buy for the perfume he wanted to name after Sehun. Somewhere deep in his heart there was a gash, a fear that Sehun would not return by his side when the three years is due, afraid that Sehun wouldn’t make it home. He managed to withhold his sobs, keeping his breathing calm and collected.

An offered hand holding a piece of handkerchief startled him, causing him to almost jump back in shock. It didn’t help that his chest was already hurting and he wanted to lash out at whoever had surprised him but he knew the person’s intention had been nice. He looked up from the piece of cloth to the owner of the hand, eyes l