Chapter Seventeen

Kris

I'd be lying if I said I haven't been thinking about her all the while I've been away on this stupid business trip. I couldn't stop thinking about everything she had told me after the engagement party, her tears, her agony. But I couldn't do anything. No, I didn't know what to do. I've seen Chaerin in a similar way with different reasons many time before, but I've never felt the urge to hug her, console her, protect her from her own misery. Seeing Haru cry the other night hurts me so much that I was close to crying myself but of course, my alter ego wouldn't let me. But I didn't have the heart to see her drown in her own tears and did what I could; I hugged her. I kept her in my arms as she cried and sobbed for her father's death while I tried to blink my tears away and swallowed the huge lump in my throat.

I couldn't leave her that night. I didn't want to, and she didn't let me. She held on to me as if it's her dear life, and I didn't pry away because I wanted her close. Even when she grew tired of crying, even when she couldn't even let out a single sob any longer, I held onto her because I know she needed me. Part of me had regretted asking her for the truth, but I was partly glad because I wanted - no - was desperate for her to share the truth with me. I held onto her till morning and with a heavy heart, I had to leave for my flight. But I made sure Kyungsoo informs her because somewhere deep inside, I didn't want her to think that I've left her.

Every day for the past two weeks, I've been wanting to call her but I couldn't. Something was stopping me from doing so, and I hate it. I know I've started to care for my fiancé, and the fact that I'm miles away from her when I'm sure she was still hurting torments me. I don't know how many times have I dialled her number all the while I'm here, but I've never been able to press the green button to connect the line. What would I say to her? What is there to say to her?

I don't know.

It's been two weeks and three days now, and I was still contemplating whether I should call her. I sighed as I eyed the number in my contact list yet my finger has yet to reach for the green button. I ended up locking the phone when I heard the door to my temporary office open and looked up to see Tao walking in with a suitcase in hand. "You should just call her," he suddenly said as he took a seat in front of my desk. "What are you talking about?" I asked. He sighed. "Gege, I know you've been dying to call Haru. Why don't you just do it? It's been two weeks plus." he told me. "I can't," I said, my voice coming out as a whisper. "Why not?" "I don't know but I just can't."

"You care about her, don't you?" he asked quietly and I took a moment before I could respond with a nod. "Then, call her. Ask her how she's doing." Tao suggested but I sighed. "It's not that easy, Zitao." "Why?" "Cause this is the first time I actually care about a girl and it scares me." I finally admitted. I watched as he took a deep breath before leaning back in his chair, crossing his legs and his sharp eyes were glued on me He was silent for a moment before he said, "Just follow your heart, ge." Okay, that was cheesy. "Ge, if you feel like calling her, call her. If you feel like caring for her, care for her. Show her that you care. Don't hesitate, gege. Just act on your feelings."

"Easy for you to say," I muttured. Tao sighed while he rubbed his temple. "Okay. Let me tell you something. I'm not siding with anyone but I know I have to tell you this." This caught my attention. I sat up straight and eyed him. "What is it?" I asked. No, ordered would be more likely. "Luhan-ge has a thing for Haru." I blinked before chuckling darkly at this. "You think I didn't know that?" I asked. "From the first day I told you guys about this whole arrangement, I've realised it." "True," he nodded but I know he wasn't finished. "But you're here, ge. And he's there - with her. What if while you're away, Lu-ge manages to make his way into her heart? What if when you return, Lu-ge has confessed to her and takes her away? What it--"

"Enough!" It took me a moment to realise it was coming from me. "Enough, Zitao." I told him and his expression softened. "Ge, you know you could just shortened this trip, right?" he suddenly asked and I sighed. "Your point being?" "Let's go home, ge." I blinked at him before leaning back against my chair. I remained silent for a long while and I could hear Tao sighing in frustration. "Well, so much for that." I heard him mutter. "I'm going to my office now," he announced as he got up. Just as he neared the door, I called for him and he turned to me. "Get the plane ready. We're leaving tonight."

Haru

I woke up with a start. I was breathing hard again and my eyes were undoubtly wet. I placed a hand on my chest and I could feel the fast beating of my heart against my palm. Even after a few minutes, I failed to calm down and  started crying. I was tired, frustrated, scared and lonely; and I poured it all as I cried. I haven't been having the right amount of sleep for more than two weeks and I was feeling so drained. I was also tired from acting like I was fine in front of the others and I was frustrated since I still couldn't stop myself from seeing that particular memory in my sleep.

I was sobbing quietly to myself after almost an hour of crying when I heard a distant sound from outside my room. It's like a door being opened or something. That's weird. Nobody except Naeun knows the passcode to my house. Unless... My heart started beating faster again, but this time, for a different reason. What if it's a burglar? Or a murderer? Am I going to die like this? Then, I heard footsteps. I immediately jumped up from my bed as I stared at my bedroom door, clueless of what to do. I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe. Suddenly it opened and I was ready to let out a scream when I saw a familiar figure.

I couldn't be mistaken with his tall figure, blonde hair, defined jaw and sharp eyes. It was him. He's here... in my apartment. He's standing at my bedroom door, staring at me. He looks tired. I feel tired. Suddenly, I was on the floor and I could feel my tears running down my face. I felt him rush to my side before crouching next to me, holding onto me. "Are you okay?" I heard him ask and I felt my tears fall harder. What is wrong with me? Why am I crying like this? I felt a hand on my lower back before an arm slid under my knee, and I was suddenly in the air; secured tightly in his arms as he carried my bridal style to my bed. He gently laid me down but I wasn't ready to let him go.

I clung onto him, shamelessly crying from all the bottled emotions and the slight scare he had given me. But instead of shaking me off, I feel him pulling me closer to his chest and he held me securely in his arms. I immediately felt safe. I continued to cry as he silently hold onto me. It took me a while to finally stop crying but by then, I was too weak and tired. I felt his lips on my forehead and I closed my eyes, releasing a shaky breath as I did so. "Are you alright?" I heard him whisper and I weakly nodded my head. "Go to sleep, Haru." he said but I shook my head frantically, my tears welling in my eyes again. "No, I don't want to." I cried. "I don't want to sleep. It scares me." My eyes were closed, yet I continued to shake my head and denied sleep. But I was too tired. In a half concious state, I felt myself being lowered to the mattress before the other side of the bed seemed to dip down due to an additional weight. I weakly opened my eyes to see him lying on his sides, facing me.

"Sleep," he whispered. "I'm right here."

And just like that, I closed my eyes and slept peacefully for the first time in three weeks.

None of the two spoke about it even after the days passed