Tell You Something

Description

The word "nervous" didn't even begin to explain the way Lisa was feeling as she made the lengthy trek up to her bestfriend's doorstep; when in reality it was mearly a few seconds walk from her parked car in the driveway. She just stared at the door as if mesmorised by the natural swirling of the wood grain that was masked by the glossy cherry red paint. Really she was just prolonging the reason she came over; to tell her best guy friend everything that laid hidden within her heart and mind. Taking slow deep breaths, courage began to build in her chest and she aimed for the doorbell, only for the door to suddenly swing open. There he was, smiling that smile she loved, the smile that made his eyes completely disappear. "Come in Lisa. I was about to eat this entire pizza without you," Jongup teased as he pulled her in by the wrist. All that confidence drained from her body the second she crossed the threshold.
 

Foreword

What is Lisa so nervous about telling her best friend. I mean he is her best friend right.......?

Comments

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AFFOfficialAhjumma
#1
This was good! I"m done writing for now, been at it for months. Now I'm looking for good stuff to read. Thanks for the good storyline. :)
BAPowerMatoki
#2
Chapter 1: I thought.. she's just going to confess!!
And at that moment, I was just like 'Omehgee~ She's just confessing pabo-yaaa'
And there's the 'b' word. And I was like, *WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWO!! Soo~ they already done 'it'~ *ekhem. Huehehe
Haengbog
#3
Chapter 1: What?!? I was expecting an 'I love you', or something. Not that. But wow.

Be more conscience of your paragraphs, and your commas. When I new person starts talking, that dialogue begins a new paragraph.

I'm going to read the third one, but honestly, I don't know what you're concerned about. I think your writing style is just fine. And so far, the story lines are not cliche or gag worthy. You write a good twist, and I like that.