Hyun joong and young saeng are best friends since middle school. They get to know each other easily as they both get along well that easy too. Having the same interest and hobbies. They love music but they both like different genres. Joongie  loves to be in a band and play instruments while saengie loves to sing ballads, mellow music and heartfelt songs. joongie formed a band, an indie band and saengie, because he is a best friend to him, he accepted the offer to be the vocalist, their band became popular in the school and also to the other schools. And now that they were all graduated, they continued being on the band and make their own schedules and gigs.

They were also became popular to girls and soon had their own admirers. Joongie then had a girlfriend, her name is ritchelle, a foreign girl who loves to live in korea. Admires Korean culture especially music and so she grab it when joongie courted her. They both met at one of their gig in one of the girl’s high in seoul where she is studying.

On the other hand, saengie never had one, he entertained girls who asked to date him but more than that it’s a no. For some reason, his heart never beat to anyone. His reason for not trying to be in a relationship is the band, that a girlfriend is just a ruin to the career they started. But that reasoned out is a lie because the truth he loves someone else and that is his best friend.

Confused at first but as time passes by he started to feel jealous when joongie introduced his girlfriend for the first time. They were at the practice room, at the basement of joongie’s house. A girl came all of a sudden in the middle of their break time after rehearsing one song.

“hi..the girl waved and greeted with a smile..

“who~~~are you? Saengie asked. Joongie wasn’t there.

“ahmmm,,I’m hyun joong’s…..the girl looked around like she’s looking for something or someone which make saengie and the other members to feel curious..

“hyun joong is upstairs, why are you looking for him? And how did you know this place? Saengie questioned assessing the girl from head to toe, the girl is familiar to him..

“ahm yeah he told me to go straight down here,,the girl answered.. I’ll just~~~call him again,,the girl bowed and turn her back to make a call…

“oh hi babe,, you’re here…hyun joong came with some bottles in his hand before the girl could dial her phone…

“babe? The members asked in chorus.. And saengie felt an arrow that stabbed in his chest as he looked at the girl and hyun joong. Biting his lips, he was praying not to hear another words from hyun joong.

“yeah…hyun joong peck the girl in the cheek before putting down the bottles in his hands.

Everyone are waiting, saengie was surprised, he didn’t know actually when did his best friend had a girl. He felt betrayed. He froze in his position while hyun joong led the girl inside. He suddenly felt the stinging pain again when he saw him kissing the girl.

“by the way,,her name is ritchelle, remember the girl we met in our last month’s gig, well, we dated after that….joongie announced..

“you did? Without informing us….saengie nonchalantly said, the words just came out from his mouth..

“I’m sorry because I’m not confident that time, I thought she won’t like me..joongie said and went to his best friend, extending his hand to the shoulder.

“who I am to know everything anyway,,,saengie looked away but he‘s trying to be normal and not to make it obvious about the pain he was feeling that time.

“by the way,,this is young saeng, my best friend and they are our members, you know them already right? Hyun joong introduced..

“yeah I know them, actually a friend of mine really like young saeng ssi,,, ritchelle talked, a little shy still.

“since you have your guest, I mean your girlfriend visited you, maybe it’s time to end our practice here…saengie told and stood up from his sit throwing the hand of his best friend..

“no, you can practice, just don’t mind me,,ritchelle said shyly..

“it’s okay,,I think hyun joong wants to spend some time with you…saengie said expressionless.

“baby,,i think I’ll just go back when you are done with your practice, I just thought that i interrupted your rehearsal…. Ritchelle said feeling guilty and shy..

“no, of course you didn’t, just stay,, hyun joong pull her into his embrace…

“I’m going,, let’s just practice tomorrow. My throat is hurting too, I can’t continue today…saengie told and walked away, not wanting to see another move from hyun joong towards the girl.

“saengie, wait,,are you alright? Is your throat really in pain? Why you didn’t told me earlier so that I~~~ hyun joong grab the friend in the hand to stop him.

“I said I’m fine,I just need rest…saengie freed his hand and left totally.

Saengie doesn’t know at first and he can’t understand his self too why he act different that time. He just felt like a sharp knife was stabbed in his chest when he heard the news and saw him how sweet he was to her. Though he knows already that he likes his best friend more than just a best friend but he was keeping it to himself. He’s afraid that if he confess, hyun joong will just laugh at it and their relationship as best friends will have a gap and that confession will led into a misundersatnding.

Hyun joong always take the girl in every gig or show they were in, following behind them. He didn’t know but he always notice the transformation of saengie whenever the girl is around. He once asked him why but saengie of course didn’t talk, he just always say that he was resting his throat or he is just sleepy or other excuses was made.

“best, are you alright?,,one day hyun joong went to his best friend and ask.

“I’m just not feeling well…saengie answered while sitting alone inside the van.

“I have some medicines here,,you want? Ritchelle offered..

“no it’s okay,,,it’s just my migraine..saengie replied and turn his back to them.

“it’s okay babe…just wait for me with the other members, it’s his migraine,,he just need some rest,I’ll just accompany him here..hyun joong told his girlfriend, the girl left and he closed the door.

“you don’t have to be here,,she needs you..saengie talked nonchalantly..

“she’ll understand…I want to be here until you feel well.. The program hasn’t started yet so you have time to take a nap..joongie told and let him sleep in his lap.

For hyun joong, young saeng is someone who needs someone beside him, a sensitive and delicate person that’s why he always take good care of him. Both of their parents are divorced and so both of them are suffering from traumatic broken family. From the day they become friends, they promised to be with each other no matter what. Like a brother, joongie became the eldest though they both born in the same year.

For young saeng, hyun joong is someone who can lean on, he used to be his guardian, he used to be a parent to him, taking care of him. And so he wasn’t used to see him close with someone else, not a girlfriend. He wasn’t sure why but he wants hyun joong’s attention to be for him only.

There are times that hyun joong confront young saeng about his behavior lately. The cold treatment of saengie to the girl became an issue for both of them. Since saengie wants to avoid any arguments between them, he just tried and always try to be good to ritchelle, even though most of the times he felt like he’s burning in hell for cursing why this girl had meddle in their relationship.

Oftentimes, saengie end up sulking for being ignored by hyun joong, attentions always transferred to the girl, which is supposedly or it is usually for him even before the girl had appeared. Most of the times hyun joong questioned himself if he had done something wrong to his best friend.

Saengie can’t concentrate to their rehearsal, always off the tune, off the beat, or his voice cracked when reaching the high notes which is not usual to him. Members are wondering why and sometimes they all argued because he can’t get it properly and all end up tiring their selves for not completing any.

“I’m sorry, my throat hurts..saengie reasoned out and lowered his head..

“saengie,, if your throat is in pain then why don’t you tell us earlier, you’re forcing yourself and we always end up not doing well, our next campus concert is in two weeks and we haven’t done it perfectly even just one song..I told you to take good care of your throat…you know that your throat is sensitive…or you are not listening to me?  I notice you lately, there‘s something bothering you, why don‘t you tell me what was that?..hyun joong reprimanded and scolded him..

“hyun joong I told you even before that I can’t do a vocal and I have my throat problem, what do you want me to do, cut it off, talk to my throat to behave? As if it will get better after..saengie raise his voice and disappeared from the basement..

Hyun joong stomp his feet and ruffled his hair. He can’t figured out why his best friend act like this always, why their relationship becomes like this, why they argue always, he doesn’t know what’s happening to his best friend. He can’t understand what is happening to them. He’s trying his best to save their friendship, he knows that ritchelle is one of the reason but he can’t find out why he dislikes ritchelle, he never said anything, he never say he hates the girl.

“baby,,I think you have to talk,,just call me, I’ll meet some friends first…ritchelle suggested.

“Are you sure?..I’ll just call you tonight okay? Hyun joong felt sorry for his girlfriend and she has to witness this kind of fight with his best friend.

“just follow him, I’ll be fine..the girl said in understanding.

Hyun joong run after informing s, searching for the best friend who disappeared without settling the argument. While running around, he saw him sitting in the bench near the playground. He sited beside him and silence follow.

“I’m sorry,, whatever I did that you make you feel upset, I’m sorry,, hyun joong started..

“It’s my fault, I just can’t concentrate because of my throat…saengie continuously lie.

“do you want me to take you to the doctor? If it’s getting worst, we can postpone the gig and take the surgery, the members will understand,I feel uneasy lately, you look so down, tell me, what‘s the problem, you know I don‘t want you to~~~..joongie came out with the idea and started to question him while the back with his palm..

“hyun joong,,why don’t you look for a replacement of me,,find another vocalist,,I want to quit…saengie said..

“young saeng,,we will not look for another vocalist..just take the surgery then we will decide after…hyun joong refused…it’s hard to find a voice like yours, and look, I want to be always beside you, I want to see you everyday so I can look for you,..he added

“hyun joong,,I don’t need  surgery,,,I just want to stop, I’m tired already and besides,,,,my mom wants to take me with her, I’m going to live with her in japan..

“what? What~~~did you say?

“I’ll leave…im going to live with my mom in japan…sangie repeated…

Hyun joong widened his eyes is surprise. Not expecting nor ready to take this kind of news yet. Saengie is his only family after the break up of his parents. He is his all. He felt a big rock fell on his head and his world stop, hearing that his best friend is leaving.

“you’re kidding me…you can’t leave me,,we promised that we will stay together forever. No breaking of promises saengie, no you can’t…hyun joong stood in front of him while shaking his head, sign that he refuse to be left…

“I’ve decided already and besides ritchelle is with you…saengie suddenly said..

“young saeng,,ritchelle is my girlfriend and you are my best friend, you know you are the only family I have now…hyun joong said and paused,,wait are you jealous of her? Are you leaving me because of her? He continued.

“it’s not that I didn’t like her, I don’t know, I just thought that she’s everything to you now…

“saengie, look, girlfriends can leave me and I can accept that,,but my best friend, you can’t leave me because I’d rather die than to be left by the most precious person into my life…you are everything to me, I can change girlfriend but I can’t change my best friend,,please don’t leave me,

“hyun joong we have to go on,,we already graduated and we need to face the truth that we can’t live together forever, soon you’ll think to start a family and me? I don’t even know if my dream will come true or will I able to reach it..I have to find myself…

“if you leave then I’ll kill myself…

“are you threatening me?

“If this is the only way for you to stay then I have no choice…

“Do whatever you want, I already have the plane ticket, mom is waiting for me there already..I’ve decided already..saengie said and tried to leave him..

“young saeng,I’m not kidding,I will, I will do it, see that car coming? If you make another step away from me, you won’t see me breathing again…hyun joong said…

“are you insane? Why don’t you just let me go? Saengie shouted while turning to face him again and switch his sight to the car coming..

“I’m serious,,saengie,,you won’t see me again if you leave..joongie repeated and step forward to the lane.

“yahhh!!!!,,fine,,,I won’t leave…saengie run to his best friend and saved him…

They fell on the ground when saengie pulled him away to the lane where the car had passed. He was shaking and trembling while eyes are shut. Hyun joong hugged him tight and peck him on the head.

“thank you, I know you can’t leave me too,, we promised right.. I love you,,you are the most important person to me,,,you’re my best friend…my only best friend…

Young saeng felt relieved and feeling happy hearing him say he loves him, though he knows, that love meant to be as friend and not as more than what they have now. It meant to be love as a family, as a brother.

Everything went back to normal. Young saeng came back to his true self, he sang well, he practice well, he follows what hyun joong told him. Jealous is still there, but as much as possible he’s trying to be calm and just avoid the two when they were together or acting sweet in front of them. He looked away and make himself busy so he can’t see how sweet the couple are.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Years passed by and young saeng’s feelings for his best friend remains silent. He still keeps the jealousy and pain in him. Until one day with the 5 years relationship of hyun joong to ritchelle as boyfriend-girlfriend has ended and both decided to get married.

The news was out after their street concert. Hyun joong announced it publicly at the end of the last song. Young saeng froze and he didn’t realize that his tears drop down to his cheek, the smile and happiness faded from his face, his body became stiff and his vision suddenly gets cloudy. The crowd are screaming and cheering especially when hyun joong went down to the stage and held his girl up to the stage.

Young saeng didn’t know what to do. The silence in his mind despite the noise coming from the crowd was cut when hyun joong took his hand and hugged him.

“sorry if I surprised you…he whispered to him and cup his face..

“hyun joong,,,was the only words came out from young saeng’s mouth,,

“thank you for everything,,sorry I didn’t told you about our plan… you’re happy for me right? Joongie said..

“y~yeah,,of course I’m,,I’m happy..congratulations…saengie gasp but he didn’t showed to his best friend how painful he was feeling right then..

Hyun joong hugged his girlfriend and unhold his best friend. Young saeng felt like suffocating from the cheer and noise. Feeling weak all of a sudden.

“are you alright? The drummer came to him and asked…

“I’ll leave first…my head hurts…he excused

“I’ll take you home…the drummer volunteered..

Saengie went down to the back stage first while the drummer informed the members about saengie. He cried and bury his face to the drummer’s chest as soon as they hopped inside the taxi. The drummer who knows everything about the vocalist’s feelings, comforted him and let him cry.

“are you alright? The drummer asked when they reach saengie’s front house..

“yes..he answered and forced a smile…don’t tell hyun joong about this,,please?

“saengie,,,,you’re just hurting yourself,,why don’t you tell him about your feelings for him,

“I know it hurts…but no…especially now that hyun joong is getting married…please,,don’t tell him,,promise me..

“okay fine. That’s your choice,,the drummer said and pat the vocalist’s head and leave.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, hyun joong visited his best friend, worrying since he left immediately last night. Opening the door with the spare key that saengie gave to him, he rushed to the room and found his best friend still laying on the bed.

“hey~~ are you alright? I was calling the whole night but your phone is off..I was dying on thinking about you…what happen? Joongie asked removing the blanket that was still covering the friend..

“I’m fine, I just need rest…saengie answered nonchalantly..

“come on,,get up,,,we’ll go to ritchelle’s house, she’ll cook lunch for us…hyun joong said and try to pull his best friend out of the bed.

“tell her I can’t go..I’m not feeling well..the vocalist said and covered his face with his pillow..

“what’s wrong? Are you sick? Joongie asked worriedly. Examining the friend and checking the temperature..

“I’m fine,,I’ll be fine…just go,,leave me alone!..saengie raise his voice all of a sudden and push the friend irately.

“what’s happening again? What did I do again?

“nothing..I’m sorry, I just want to be alone,,,saengie apologize when he realize how he act and out of control his one eye dropped a crystal.

Hyun joong wiped the tear and granted what his best friend wants, to be alone. He left him with a piece of puzzle in his head again.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They stopped doing concerts and gigs first because of hyun joong’s preparation to his wedding, saengie always stayed at home. He didn’t join any night outs or meetings. Often times, he doesn’t show up when hyun joong calls him to meet or he always lock himself in his room and don’t talk much whenever hyun joong visited him.

A month later when everything is settled. 2 days before the wedding, hyun joong brought the suit of saengie to him, he’s the best man of course. Saengie was lazing himself in the living room..

“hyun joong I’m sorry but I think I can’t attend your wedding, but I’ll go for a while before I proceed to…he paused…before I go to the…another pause again….to the airport…saengie breathed heavily after saying and turn his back to him…

“you have to attend,,, you can’t~~~…hyun joong was cut and paused too realizing what saengie had said just now….what did you say? He asked..

“you’re getting married already, maybe it’s time for me to find what’s waiting for me…so im leaving. I’ll start my career in japan,,,mom told me that her friend has an offer for me…

“but what about us? What about the band..we can’t go on without you…and young saeng,,we talk about it already,,no matter what happen we will stay together…I already told you…I can’t live without you, I will~~~~hyun joong begun and cut.

“that you will die? You will kill yourself? And why would you do that, now that you’re having a wife, someone beside you not just a best friend like me, not a girlfriend, a wife hyun joong, a wife…stop being immature,,you don’t need me to live, to continue,,you ned her in your new life, not me..you on’t need anyone other than her…try to be mature enough, you’ll soon build  family…ritchelle needs you…don’t hurt her..

“saengie no..just stay here no matter what, even if I have many kids,, you are still part of my daily life, my whole life, I don‘t want to be parted from you..

“hyun joong you are selfish…you know that? please just let me go..I need space,,

“why you need a space? We grow up together, we promised….

“I need to move on,!,I need to forget my feelings for you,! I can‘t stay for more than a second knowing that my best fiend, the only man in my life is getting married…saengie slipped his tongue and said it without knowing, feeling the anxiety and frustration over his feelings...

“what? Hyun joong’ heart skipped a beat.

“n~~nothing….saengie blinked many times…I’ve decided already,,I..I…I’ll leave…just go on with your life without me…saengie stuttered and eyes grew wide…

“that’s not what I’m asking…what do you mean feelings for me?

“you don’t have to know…saengie turn around and gets inside his room…

“I’m asking you!!!

“why you’re asking,,it’s over,,,you’re getting married…and so just forget what I’ve said..it’s nothing…

“Young saeng~~~ joongie called and followed him…

“fine!!! I love you, I like you, not just a damn best friend,,I love you more than that…and it hurts me more when you’re around me…it’s too painful already..I want to move on…saengie cried and confessed..

“why are you telling me this only now?

“because you don’t want to let me go..you are too selfish and you are damn so numb for not noticing it. I want to forget,,,It kills me whenever I see you flirting and being sweet and happy with her..and it kills me even more knowing that the day for you to vow in front of the altar with her is approaching.. Now that you know,,please… just let me go…don’t wait for me on your wedding day…

“if you just told me…!!!…hyun joong shouted..

“just go,,I’m sure ritchelle is waiting for you…saengie said calmly and try to push him out of the room…

“Don’t push me away…don’t ever push me to go away from you..because I love you too…. but I was scared that you will not accept my feelings for you…

“what? Saengie widened his eyes. Hands fell down on his side and nearly going to fall from what he heard.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joongie’s flashbacks

They were in middle school when he realize that he’s fallen for saengie but he wasn’t sure that time, he was still confused. As they both become best friends, he decided to protect him and confirmed that he is already in love with him. Due to the worries that the other won’t accept it, he decided to keep it and don’t tell anyone about it.

They became popular and to divert his attention and not able to think his feelings for the vocalist, and to avoid his one sided love, s what he knows, he courted a girl he met and it was ritchelle. They start dating and ritchelle say yes to him in a month.

He introduced the girlfriend to everyone, he immediately saw saengie’s change of facial expression but he didn’t know why, he assume that maybe saengie just hated the girl and he doesn’t approve the girl for him.

He brought the girl in every gigs and schedule they have so he can make the two to get along well and become friends but he fails to do it. They sometimes or often times they argue with simple things which he assume that saengie just really dislike the girl. He didn’t realize that it was a matter of jealousy and it just make him hurt the other. He was waiting for the other to say something but saengie never said anything.

One day saengie complained about his migraine and he was too worried, letting his girlfriend joined the others while him, taking care of his best friend. He laid the head on his lap and massage him the temple. Staring at the best friend whose eyes were closed and with this kind of moment, he imagined that they are real couple. It makes him feel happy whenever he take good care off the latter.

One day saengie complained about his throat and end up with argument since they havent perfected any song they will sing for their coming concert. Saengie suddenly burst and raise the voice and he was surprised. He can’t understand why, but he was afraid to know why. Saengie walked out and ritchelle told him to follow. He felt really sorry for the girl to witness this kind of argument between best friends, good thing his girl just understood everything.

Saengie told to quit and he was then felt pain. He’s not ready, and he never imagined living his life without him. The moment he afraid of, to lose the man who live like his brother, a family member, he spent his whole life with him, he offers his life for him, that’s how much he loves him but he never confessed and never say a word to informed the friend about his feelings.

Saengie insisted to quit and leave the country and hyun joong can’t think of a way to convince and stop him from leaving other than threatening him to kill himself if he leave. Saengie didn’t believe at first, he was ready that time, and he was waiting for the car to come and be hit by it. He rather die than to leave alone without him. Saengie came back and he was saved. He hugged him tightly.

“Thank you,,if you just know how much I love you, if you just can accept me as your lover and not just a best friend,,just tell me you feel the same too…he composed mentally.

It was a relief when saengie stayed with him and their life came back to normal. Noticing some moments, saengie avoided him and ritchelle. He looked at him every minute but saengie didn’t look at him back. He always wish to lock eyes to him but saengie never turn to look at him. That’s what he knows. Because he doesn’t know the hidden feelings of the other.

He lose hope for saengie and so along with the number of years waiting for the other, he built a good relationship to ritchelle and so he proposed to her secretly and planned to get married without telling his best friend. And he announced it publicly after the last song of their concert.

He saw his best friend was shocked, he went to him and hug him and apologize for not informing him beforehand. And the next thing he knew, saengie was feeling unwell and wants to go home first. He wants to see him and ask if he’s alright, worrying much, but he can’t just leave because of the fans and ritchelle is still there.

Arriving home at midnight, he kept calling the best friend’s phone but it was off, he can’t reach him. He stayed up all night, he can’t sleep due to the feeling of uneasiness. He remembers the tear that slid down the cheek of saengie. He wonder why, that expression when he announced his wedding, the hurt was written all over the face and he notice it all. He wanted to ask, he wants to assume or expect something but he was afraid that if what he assume to be answer is wrong and it wasn’t what he think. So he thought, maybe his best friend is mad for not telling him about his plan.

A month after preparation, he once again visited his best friend to check, he haven’t talked to him lately due to his busy times preparing for the wedding. He brought his best man’s suit but saengie just told him he will not attend.

They end up in arguing again, as saengie told he’s leaving for an offer in japan and hyun joong threatened to kill himself once again. And so saengie accidentally confessed what he feels. Hyun joong can’t believe to what he heard and so he just ask a simple why and ended up confessing too.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They both paused as they both confessed. Don’t know what to say, they can’t think properly, they can’t absorbed what is happening to them. The wedding is in two days and they are confessing to each other just now.

Saengie fell on the floor feeling weak to what he heard. Hyun joong flatted his back to the wall. Both in despair, hopeless because it is already too late to acknowledge each other’s confession.

“hyun joong, tell me this is not happening.,,saengie uttered lifelessly..tell you are just telling a lie..

“I’ve been keeping it to myself, afraid that you won’t accept me..I’m afraid to ruin our relationship as best friends…hyun joong talked..

“I  kept it, I’m afraid too and became more scared when I knew you have a girlfriend..why are you telling me this now? Saengie uttered again, confronting...

“I don’t know.I always wanted to be your boyfriend and not just a best friend…but~~~

“you shouldn’t have to tell me…

“saengie…

“do you love ritchelle?  Saengie had asked..

Hyun joong looked down to him and answered, “yes, she’s a good girl, she loves me,,,so I thought I’ll forget my feelings for you when we get married…she’s helping me,,she knows from the start that I have my feelings for you and she was helping me because I thought you don’t love me back and my love to you is just hopeless.

“she knows? So that’s why she’s too concern whenever I argued with you? She’s worrying too much whenever I don’t talk to you? That she always let you stay with me when I’m feeling sick? That’s why he never complain whenever you stay longer beside me instead of he side?

“yes…until I myself felt like falling for her…and I started to have plans for my future with her…

Saengie sighed shakily. They can’t believe this is really happening to them. Their love that never confessed from the very beginning is like love that never acknowledge.

Hyun joong lift up saengie and try to hug him but saengie refused to, he’s pushing him away while joongie keeps pulling him into his hug, until he locked him with his arms and saengie had soften and  became weak.

“it’s too late for us. We need to forget everything. Let’s forget about this feelings… saengie said..

“but I love you..

“you can’t, you’ll hurt her…so please let me live away from you…from both of you…

“I know it will hurt her feelings, but I can’t just let you go away from me, I maybe selfish but believe me, you are my everything….

“don’t say that…maybe we confessed and let us know what we feel for but this is the end too…we need to end it right away because we will hurt someone..

“ but I want to give ourselves a chance even if it’s just a short time…

“but how?

“stay with me…

“hyun joong…

“can I kiss you? Hyun joong parted from his hug and asked..an answer n accepting the idea. Nothing will lose, nothing will change even if they will give their selves a chance for just few hours.

Saengie nodded. Joongie planted a soft kiss and pulled out after a minute, wait for me here, he whispered. Saengie who doesn’t know what it meant just nodded again.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hyun joong left saengie’s house and rushed to ritchelle. He may become too selfish and heartless, still he did it.

“babe…you know that from the start that I have my feelings for young saeng…he started..

“yeah but why are you asking me this now? She furrowed her brows and waited…

“ritchelle, you know that I love you too..

“hyun joong, what is it you want to tell me? I know you love me…

“young saeng has the same feelings for me…

“he,,,he do? She gulped and suddenly felt worried..

“ritchele,,I will marry you, our plan will stay the same, we will get married in two days,,I will be ther beside you, you will gonna be my wife still but…he paused….

“but what?

“please let me stay with him for the remaining days. I know it’s unfair, I want to be with him before he leave…

“stay with him? Ritchelle bit her lower lip..

“it’s a favor…please…hyun joong knelt in front of her and beg..

“but you have to stay with me tonight and I’ll give you the whole day tomorrow to be with him…and be sure to come on our wedding day..

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was early in the morning, early as 6 in the morning when hyun joong left his girlfriend on the bed to meet his best friend. Rushing, he pecked the girl on the cheek and race his feet to go.

He entered the house using his spare key. It was 6:30 in the morning. He went straight to saengie’s room and woke him up.

“good morning,,get up now and take a shower, I’ll make some breakfast for us…hyun joong whispered to him.

Saengie woke up and look at his best friend, full of puzzle. He got up and didn’t ask any question. He took a bath and soon went out to the kitchen and saw the busy friend with cooking the breakfast.

“why are you here this early? It’s only 7 in the morning,,,saengie raise a brow while asking…

“just like what I told you yesterday..I want to give ourselves a chance, let’s do everything we can do for the whole day and night as a couple…

“hyun joong you don’t have to do this..what if ritchelle~~~~

“ritchelle allowed me to be with you as long as I will show up myself into our wedding..

“we will just hurt ourselves….

“at least we try and experience the things that we supposedly have done if we knew our feelings from the start…

“this isn’t a good idea…

“I want to have a memory of us being a couple, and I want to stay with you,,before you leave me for good….

“even if I leave, it doesn’t mean that we will forget,,you are still my best friend and I just want to find my own future, you have yours and maybe it’s time for me to find mine…

“please just this one day, I don’t care if it hurts me at the end of the day..

“you are such a selfish man…how could I love someone like you,,saengie sighed and chuckled…

Hyun joong smiled and went to saengie’s back and hug him from there, kissing the top of the head as he rock their entangled body side by side. They ate breakfast. At exactly 8 in the morning, they went out. Hyun joong planned it all, everything they will do for the day.

Saengie just followed everything that the other say. They both know they will be happy but after this, it will be a painful goodbye. But at least they could try and able to share their true feelings.

They went to the beach and watch the sea while holding hands, laying on the sand with saengie’s head on joongie’s stomach and hands entangled together.

“joongie,,thank you…saengie spoke..

“no thank you,, because I love you too…and I want this too…

After spending an hour on the sea shore, hyun joong took saengie on a movie house, watch a movie together and enjoys it.

“are you cold? Hyun joong asked when he saw the other rubbing the hands.

“ahmmm yeah….saengie answered..

Without uttering another words, joongie pulled him and cuddled him with warm embrace. Saengie smiled and slid his arms under joongie’s jacket and hug him back.

It was 15 minutes after 12 when they exited the movie. Hyun joong hold the other’s hand and intertwined their fingers together while walking. Joongie drove the car and stopped at a restaurant at exactly after 30 minutes.

Saengie was speechless, he wants to cry when he saw the expensive restaurant in front of them.they gets in and was led by one of the waiter to the reserve private dine in.

“joongie you don’t have to go far like this..we can eat to the cheapest restaurant out there..saengie commented…

“no,,this day is special to me..so just sit and order…don’t worry this is already planned even before…I’m planning to treat you out after the wedding but since it was already a different situation, I want it to be special for you..

“hyun joong….saengie hum…

“what? Just give your order,,we will still have more place to go…so fill up your stomach..hyun joong told and laugh..

Saengie just let him be, and let him do whatever plan he has for the day. It doesn’t matter whether it will cost them a lot, or people will look at them while fingers are entangled publicly. What matters now is their feelings, what matters the most is their happiness even if it’s just for one day.

It was 2:30 in the afternoon, they both run laughing while exiting the  restaurant, they had fun chatting and talking random topics. Joongie drove again and they went up to the Namsan tower. Going up to the observatory and making their own messages and lock them together.

“I wished I could see them again when I come back here….saengie muttered.

Hyun joong’s lock:

young saeng I love you and I always do. You are in my heart always.

Young saeng lock:

Joongie, thank you for accepting my heart, I will forever remember that I once loved by kim hyun joong. I love you.

They took their photos and stayed for an hour looking the scenery while both hugging each other. Savoring the sweetest part of their life.

It was 4 at noon and they decided to go to karaoke. Sing their favorite songs and dedicate songs to each other. After few songs, it follows by a silence when saengie suddenly let his tears to fall. Hyun joong just sited beside him. Sigh, saengie wiped off his tears and apologize.

They both lock eyes. Joongie didn’t even ask, he cupped saengie’s face and kissed him all of a sudden. Saengie followed and responded. The kiss became passionate and it deepens even more.

“why this thing happen to us?..

“I don’t know, maybe because we are both scared of rejection and we ended up being like this…

“I wish we could go back and so we able to know everything…I wishe there is a rewind button in our life..

“if we didn’t able to continue our love, I’m sure there’ll be another life to continue what was left by us..

Seven in the evening when both decided to go home straight to saengie’s place. Hyun joong cook for dinner. They lit candles and had a simple dinner date at home.

They ate, followed by a mellow music where they both dance lovingly. Joongie sited him slowly at the couch and kissed him on the lips.

“I’ll be back…hyun joong whispered after giving a space between their lips.

He went out and after few minutes he came back with a guitar and a bouquet, a dozen of white roses. He smiled as he knelt down in front of him.

Saengie received the flowers and his hand was held and the next scene made him cry.

“saengie..I know it was too late. I know this will not work out anymore, I know that at the end of this night, I will just hurt you and leave you pain. But still I want to do this..hyun joong uttered and slip a ring unto the finger..

“hyun joong….you don’t know how much you make me happy, how much you make me feel loved, how much you gave me the things I wanted to do together as a couple and not just a best friend. Even if it’s just a short time, you let me feel how much you love me..yes maybe it was too late for us but it’s worth it…I appreciate your effort and I acknowledge the love you are giving me..

“I love you, I’m the happiest man at this moment, I love you so much…

“I love you too..I always do..saengie response and hugged the man tightly..

Hyun joong took his guitar and played a song, and both sang it together. The playing ended and the night becomes more darker, it deepens the night and silence covered the background. It was 10 and nearly end. Joongie carried the vocalist in the room and lay him slowly.

They make their heart beats faster even more, as they both savored the remaining time. The remaining moment of them. Both entangles their selves. The touches, the breaths, every kiss they make, every caress in the skins became a proof of what they call love to each other. The whispers of I love you, the groan and moans that filling the silence of the night, makes themselves hunger for more and craves even more.

They cuddled each other and both tightened their grasp to each other as the time passes and reach the ending of their love story. Feeling regret for not confessing earlier, feeling worried and feel the emptiness again. They stayed up all night, waited for the time to end their short love story.

six in the morning the next day and there’s few more hours before the wedding. Saengie remain controlled by his ego to not let the other know his pain. He doesn’t want to create any problem to the wedding, he doesn’t want the best friend to feel guilty for what is happening. He’s not against ritchelle but he admit, he wished that there will be no wedding to be done later.

“saengie.. Hyun joong whispered after a kiss on the head.

“you have to go..saengie whispered back shutting his eyes to stop the threatening tears in his eyes.

“I will wait for you,,you’re my best man, and I want you to be there…hyun joong said, it will hurt his best friend of course he knows, but then it will be their last to be together.

“I will…because I love you, and I want to see you before~~~saengie paused to bite his lips..

“I love you,,I want you to remember that..

“I know, and I love you too, even though you will marry her, I know that I am still in your heart..joongie I want you to love her too the way you love me…it hurts me but she’ll be a good partner in life with you…she loves you…

Hyun joong didn’t response, he tightened his hug to him and pulled out his self out of the bed without looking at the other. Avoiding to see the tears.

Saengie got up and hugged him from the back. Will this be the end? Will this be the goodbye? He asked.

“no…because you are my best friend,,and we will still be for the rest of our lives..no end, no goodbyes…we will see each other again in the future and I promise you that..

Saengie loosened his grip. Hyun joong slowly parted and pick his clothes to wear. He then left. Crying while driving heading to his house.

9:30 in the morning. Ritchelle is at the waiting room. Saengie came to her. Holding both of the hand and finally able to smile to her.

“congratualtions, and thank you..hyun joong told me everything, thank you for letting him be with me…

“it’s nothing,I know he loves you..I think I’m supposedly the one thanking you because you let him be with me even though you both knew your real feelings to each other…

“take good care of him,,I will never forget you both..take care of my best friend, I can’t be around him anymore…

“I will…the bride hugged the best man and both shake hands.

Hyun joong is waiting at the altar, saengie then came beside him. No talks but their hearts are crying. The bride then walk into the aisle and soon reach the groom. The groom smiled to the bride and both then begun to share their vows and share their rings.

Saengie is there, hearing every promises of the couple, seeing the exchanging of rings. It hurts to witness everything but he was enduring it all because he loves his best friend and he wants to save their friendship. Both are saving the long  relationship as best of friends even if it cause them pain. Time will come and everything will be fine.

Hyun joong glance at the best man and both exchange their smiles. Saengie looked down to his ring and grin, at least, even if he was hurting, he knew that he exchange promises and vows to hyun joong first.

The ceremony ended and the couple headed outside tagging behind the guests with saengie. Hyun joong hugged his best friend tightly and kissed the forehead.

“good bye…saengie said in low volume…

“I already told you there is no good byes…take care always..joongie whispered back shakily.

“I’ll be fine..I hope you too…I wish you all the best for both of you..,saengie said…

“I love you..

“I love you too…

Hyun joong can’t let go of him even if there are still guests around.. Saengie then  pulled out and went to ritchelle to say his farewell.

“take care…the bride said..

“take care too..take care of him…saengie tells once again..

He waved and hopped in the taxi and left without having a glance to the groom again, bursting in tears while heading to the airport. And soon his plane was boarded and totally left the country, no backing out anymore, no chance of going back again, and no reason to regret because he chose his own path already.

Nevertheless, the best friend who was left didn’t able to control his tears, and ritchelle has nothing to do and doesn’t know what to do, was comforting his husband.

She knows how hurtful her husband was but she can’t just let him go. She loves him and she knows that hyun joong loves her too. Many times she doubt it but there are more times that hyun joong proved it. She’s not greedy over love, and she never forbid his man to love his first love, because she already accpeted that first love never been forgotten. Hyun joong stayed longer with saengie so she accept the fact that saengie was loved by hyun joong first before her. Acceptance is a matter of process and it was done the day she says yes to his man.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Few months later, hyun joong went back to Namsan tower and checked their locked messages. They are still there. He breathed the cold air as he held up the necklace. The necklace he found on his suit that day of his wedding, it‘s saengie‘s precious necklace that he always asked to have but saengie refuse to give. And now he’s holding it and saengie finally gave it to him.

Another months and years had passed, ritchelle got pregnant and they had a baby boy. They  lived happily as family but for hyun joong, there is missing ad it is his best friend, the friend he was with for decades. He’s still working as a band and it continued the career, they are now popular and had an agency to promote them, but their vocalist was replace. He still comes to Namsan to make sure their locks are still there. And sometimes leave messages too.

On the other hand, saengie became popular in Japan as a solo singer, and now happy with his producer boyfriend. And soon will promote in korea. He smiled when he received the news. Korea is his country and a lot of memories are there. He never forgets his first love nor never forget his best friend. He make sure to be updated and so he knows how hyun joong pursue their career as an indie band.

Half of the year, he finally landed to his home town, it’s already five years since then. He didn’t wasted his free time as they arrived and immediately went to visit Namsan tower. Looking back at the memories, he hold tight the chain hanging on his neck and unlock it. Sliding down the pendant which is the ring and slip it back to his finger. The ring that his first love had given the day before his wedding.

He wrote a message again saying that he is back again to his home country. He was about to lock it when he saw their messages before and another one that entangled to the two messages.

*I miss you*

He smiled and check the date written in it, it was dated the current date. He lock his new message and went back to the scenery. Looking around to find if hyun joong is there, just thinking that the new lock is from him. But he didn’t found him. He sighed and just enjoyed the surroundings, breathing of the coolness of the breeze.

Meanwhile hyun joong, walked around the tower and enjoys the observatory inside when he spotted a familiar figure. The man was wrapped in thick scarf and wearing black eyewear. He went nearer and stood beside.

Saengie looked at the man and time stops when both locked their eyes. Hearts for the second time skips a beat.

“hyun joong….saengie mumbled..

“young saeng,, you’re back…joongie commented….

They both then snap out and smiled…

“how are you? Saengie asked..

“I’m fine,,we have baby boy already..

“wow,,congratualations..

“thank you,,back for good?

“maybe just few years,,we signed a contract here in korea..ahm..how’s the others..I heard the band is still alive..and I saw one of your shows..

“yeah they’re fine..

An awkward state follows again. No topics to talk again. Hyun joong saw saengie’s hand and spotted the ring he gave to him, while saengie secretly had a glance on the necklace he secretly slip under hyun joong’s coat at the day he left.

“you’re wearing it still? Hyun joong talked…the ring..he mentioned.

“ahmm yeah,,, my best friend gave it to me.. Someone special to me…and~~~ saengie said with a crumpled nose and pointed to the necklace…

“ahhhh my best friend gave it to me too..actually he left it at my coat…hyun joong grin and scratch his head…

They both laughed..

“I missed you…hyun joong said with serious tone..

“I know,,it was written there..saengie said..

“you saw?

“yeah…and I miss you too…

Hyun joong offered a shake hand. Which then saengie accepted it.

“I never forgotten you..joongie told..

“me too…saengie replied.

Hands still holding together. Joongie slowly pull him closer and pressed himself to him and hug. Saengie slowly wrapped his arms around him.

“it’s been a long time. Saengie whispered..

“I know and I missed you so much..joongie response…

“best friends? Saengie uttered in question..

“best friends…forever….hyun joong replied and hugged him more tightly.

Not every love stories has a quote like “live happily ever after” or not every lovers will end up together in the altar. Not all love stories last forever because like joongie and saengie, they rather saved their friendship than to pursue their love stories because if they do, someone will end up hurting and they will cause a trouble to other people.

A simple yet complicated short love story of two best friends. A short complicated story that had to end quickly to continue with their lives normally without hurting other people.