this UBER cute art is from NANA - thanks so MUCH ;)

Okayyyy, this is HUGE. As in capital H and U and G and E! So HUGE!!!

Inhale exhale inhale exhale inhale exhale inha---

"Sandara Park-ssi are you okay?"

I open my eyes as I dramatically clutches my heart in an attempt to calm my self too. Yeah. I'm, so Oh-Ey.

My personal assistant/scheduler for today (can you hear me?? MY PERSONAL assistant!! I am SO popular now dies~~) looks at me like I grow two heads. Can't blame her really since I'm having this weird pursed-lip breathing exercise for a while now while she read me my schedules WHILE some people are also busy dressing and making me up. I am a star-studded beauty afterall!! The new face of this soooo popular cosmetic brand CLIO I am so hyperventilating just thinking about it again and I.am.so.still.cannot.believe.how.the.eff.did.I.land.this.and.this.is.really.happening!!!! Kyahhh!

"Okay, if you say so..." my assistant suspiciously tells as she also looks like about to run anytime soon once the sign shows I’m about to become a rabid animal. Harhar so funny. She then clears to continue reading my schedules. "In ten minutes, you will be called on stage for your short interview. The CLIO company expects you to please the crowd, most especially the press, gathered outside. You need to charm them so they can write nice write-ups about the product and about you being the new face of the brand." she states professionally before looking at me disapprovingly. "No," she scrunched up her face a little, "just no weird making faces, Sandara-ssi."

I nodded dumbly. I'm just too hyper right now to care about people who cannot be happy with my sudden fame. Haha.

"After the interview and the event, we'll be going straight to the main studio 21 for the preparation for your MV shooting tonight." she continues.

"Yeah, yeah," I just say just to end her reading my schedules as I tap my grumbling stomach. "Can I at least have food? I'm starving I think I'm about to die." I say dramatically.

My personal assistant looks at me insanely again. Yeah, she's not fond of me. "You’ve just eaten sandwiches few minutes ago. You can't eat alot. It's for you too to look good on camera."

.

My stomach grumbles again. Yeah, my cold-hearted assistant has a point there in expense of my currently food-demanding stomach. She's right, I truly need to look good and y on camera.

I tap my stomach again for consolation. 'Don't worry, tummy. Let's hit a buffet after the MV shooting later and even if I have to tie this cold to let us eat then I will.' she decides quietly.

"Sandara Park-ssi, in a few seconds you're up!" a big man with large headphones and black filing folder calls out loud at my direction as he motions me to move my now. He's not smiling, almost pissed-off looking, even, as he motions me to hurry up. "Change of plans. We are live instead of a pre-tape. Order from the higher-ups."

"." my assistant curses as she turns to me and hold me tightly on the shoulder. She stares at me seriously like she wants to stamp whatever she's about to say next on my forehead to make her uberly important point and not me making ordeals. This assistant clearly has no confidence on my so-called PR skills. Duh. "Sandara-ssi. Listen." she starts as I sweatdropped. What's with her? She's making me nervous. "Just. Don't.Mess.Up." her last advice before she pushes me on the maroon drape outside, and there I found my self standing on a small elegant-looking stage and is immediately hounded by flashes of wide range of different cameras all over the place. The press.

"SMILE!" my cold of a assistant yells out loud from behind me and I automatically do so as I also wave at the unfamiliar faces all over around.

I give my sweetest smile to these people too as someone guided me to the center of the stage. And once I'm seated properly, I realized something late.

I am live. L-I-V-E. LIVE. LIVE. LIVE. I am LIVE on TV. Millions of my fellow country men can see me now on their TVs, smartphones, streaming sites, and whatever techno-gadgets that have access to what's happening right now in ME. Everybody watching me as the new face of CLIO.

That doesn't ring good to me right now as it did earlier. I sense hyperventilation coming in my system, and the not so tiny chemical grinding in the pit of my stomach starting climbing up in my upper tract (read: mouth). Oh no. I can sense disaster forthcoming.

Oh, God. Not now. Not now. Not now. Not now, please. I chant like a mantra. Not in front of these press and the WORLD, Lord please!!!

SOS!!! Or was it SSMS? Someone Save My Soul!

I think I'm about to faint now too. I can see my assistant's wide-panicked eyes on me right now. Her face void of color as she watch the impending disaster I'm about to make on my self anytime soon, live.

I'm such a fool to think I'm so ready for this. Now, my dreams will be a complete wipe-out tomorrow with different headlines that can be summarize as how I .  Hang.Me.Now before I further humiliate my self in front of these people.

I can already taste the metallic taste of my vomit behind my throat. Oh, God. It’s coming. Mr. Greeny smoothy frothy liquid, ser disaster, is coming...

Suddenly, a pair of headphones is quickly placed on my ears by one of the panicked-looking staff too.

And before I can projectile-vomit my stuff on the staff's face, a voice is heard speaking on the headphone against my ears.

"Babe."

Jiyong.

Oh, gosh. My savior.

"Babe, calm down." he says in that oh-so soothing voice of his. His voice is not in its usual playfulness but he sounds completely ily serious right now.

He's truly my SSMS.

"J-Jiyong." I finally utter his name. I swallow too, bringing those frothy liquid back in my stomach. Ew. I find my self a little bit calm now too as I breathe deeply on my mouth to ease my mild-hyperventilation.

At the corner of my eyes, I see people standing in front of me distracting the crowd away from me with sort of things like product-demonstration and make-up tips like it's part of the flow of the program naturally. Completely stealing the spotlight away from me and the about-to-be humiliation. Saving my .

I sigh in relief as I clutch the headphone with my dear life.

"Babe." Jiyong calls again. Sounding quite relief too. As if he can see and sense my comfort now.

"Jiyong." I call back, much calmer now.

"Are you okay now?" he asks.

I breathe a, "Yes." then closes my eyes and check my self again. I truly am okay now. "Thank you. You save me." I say with deep gratitude. "When they say I'll be doing Live, I just lost it. It made me so nervous. I realized this is so big."

Jiyong lightly chuckles on the other line. "Don't worry. You'll be fine, babe. I'm sorry for the sudden change of plans. I truly just want to see you live." before I can pry him about his statements, Jiyong is already talking to someone else on the other line too. Then he comes back talking to me again. "Babe, I'll call you back. I'm kind of in a hurry. Just be yourself and you’ll be fine.” he tells me with pride conviction in his voice. “And also, you are absolutely gorgeous in that dress. I can’t wait to undress you from it. Ha ha!" he half-kids ily I blush immediately that I don’t have time to reprimand him.

Oh boy, was he charming.

"J-Ji--" I stammer. 

"I love you." beep, and he's gone next.

I just exhale my delight.

The same staff who put the headphones on me came back to retrieve it back. She's also calm-looking now too seeing my face as she also handed me a bottle of water.

I quickly take a gulp of it , say my thanks, before she signals me to be ready now too as the attention will come back to me soon.

I simply nod, smiles at her, and face the crowd again. And after a few minutes, the attention is drifted back to me.

With new profound strength and confidence from the odd headcall from my boyfriend, I successfully handle the ambush-live beauty product event.

"So, Sandara Park-ssi..." the reporters begins and I sweetly smile at them and answers each of their question with a constant smile and genuine giggles from me.

Most of them blushes. Yeah, I'm a charming lady too. 

I muse outside the car's window as I am on my way to studio 21 for my MV shooting. I can’t help but sigh in half-contentment and half-nervousness right now.

The recent event earlier ended up without further inessential acts from me. I'm unscathed, yes, and I should go ‘yippee!’ but no. Everything went smoothly earlier except for the thing I'm musing about.

Earlier, one reporter bravely asked (grilled) me questions I caught my self off-guard.

"So, Sandara-ssi, as a new face of this very popular cosmetic brand, it is expected of you to bring a new sass and freshness of CLIO. And I am sure you are fully-aware that you have been the first-ever South Korean to represent this brand. The models before you were international well-known top models. Supermodels even. What do you think you have to reach this far and grab what most women dreams to have? Being a CLIO face." the reporter says with a smug look. I can't help but notice the malice in his voice too.

A vein popped my head but I force my self to remain calm and smile. I then answer him professionally. "I am in love with the product." I say with twinkling eyes.

Then the malice look of the reporter heightened. "So, are you also in love with someone, Sandara-ssi?"

Now, I see. This reporter thinks I have a big dirty old sugar daddy backing me up to reach this very, very elegant position. And what a tricky follow up question he has for me.

Damn.

I am a budding superstar, and in my country, having a relationship with someone is like a suicide career. Especially for someone as new as me. I just start to make noise with my name recently. And I don't know if the public will like me if I admit a thing or two. I think they wont.

I gulp. Jiyong.

"Will you tell the press that you have a boyfriend?"

Jiyong asked me last night. And my dillemma is actually happening right now. With flashes of cameras and ready pens to write whatever I will answer next and I’m sure will make some headlines on some newspaper tomorrow. Oh, gosh.

I gulp again. It's now or never. "I-I have someone special." I answer eventually.

The sounds of pens dropping, screeching sounds of video tapings, dropping folders, and the feel of glare daggers behind my